Earth 2 and characters are the property of Amblin Entertainment. This story does not intend to infringe on any copyright.
Devon's mind:
//We were discovering what it meant to work as a team in order to survive. Every person
has a purpose and no one is expendable. Having to depend on others does not come naturally
to me. Unfortunately, at times it seems that some people are more valuable than others.//
Devon strode towards the stopped vehicle with a determined look and very black thoughts. She had never experienced weather so hot before and was finding it hard to focus. Danziger was flat on his back partway underneath, tools in hand, but he didn't appear to be working on anything.
"Danziger!" Devon barked, "What the Hell is wrong with this thing?!"
Danziger slowly dropped his tools and gazed up her, not moving from his position. It was safer under here, he thought.
"All charm and goodwill, as usual, Adair." he shot at her sarcastically. Devon did not back down, not that he expected her to, but instead glared at him, her hands planted firmly on her hips. She did not quite tap her toe.
Danziger sighed and wiping his hands on his pants pulled himself up from under the transrover.
"I don't know." he shrugged, a little sheepish look on his face. Instead of diffusing her it only made her more annoyed. Her hand swung out and she banged the side of the vehicle in frustration. Danziger moved back a step; a little surprised at her violence, a little worried she might decide to bang on him next. "Hey! Take it easy! Maybe if people treated these things with a little more respect they'd work better for us."
"Just fix it." She accented each word with her index finger into his chest. She turned to walk away wiping the sweat off her forehead with her arm.
"Gimme a break Adair!" he called after her. "You know, I only have two hands here!"
She turned on her heel and sweeping her arms around the camp said,
"Many hands make light work Danziger. Don't pretend you HAVE to do EVERYTHING by YOURSELF!" A worried frown creased Danziger's brow as he watched her back.
"I don't see you volunteering." he muttered. He was feeling more put out than usual about Devon's authority. It was easy for her to tell him to "fix" it - it wasn't so easy for him to put her orders into practice. And he didn't appreciate being bossed around by someone who didn't even understand the problems. Who did?
He looked around for True. She was good with her hands; and she could fit into places that were beyond his reach. She wasn't in view.
He eventually found True in the shade, listlessly and quite uselessly fanning herself with one hand. She appeared lost in thought.
"C'mon, True. I need some help." Danziger said, impatiently. Her head lolled to one side.
"Aw Dad! It's too hot to even think. I don't want to . . . " she didn't get much further because Danziger's short fuse had just run out.
"I don't really care whether you want to or not. I need some help and you're it. Now let's go!"
True's head snapped to attention at the sharpness of his tone, but she remained seated.
"But . . ."
"True I said NOW!" Danziger yelled. What are you doing? a tiny voice inside him asked.
True opened her mouth in another protest but clamped it shut when Danziger leaned in and pulled her roughly to her feet. Her eyes resentfully bore into him.
"When I say now, I mean now - is that understood?" Danziger spoke softly now but he had his nose right into her face. True was unused to this kind of wrath. This wasn't like Dad at all.
"Yes." she responded sullenly. Danziger let her go and took a step back. He could not believe he'd lost his temper with her so quickly. God! but it was HOT!
"Good." he said, "Now let's go." Danziger ignored the stares of amazement from the other colonists as he herded his daughter down towards the vehicles.
***********
True walked purposely away from the camp, with a VR headset clutched in her right hand and a lot on her mind. She chose a spot far enough away from the others so that she couldn't hear the constant activity of other people. It was odd that she, of all people, was seeking solitude when one of the things she missed most about the stations was the hustle and bustle. Today, she just wanted to be alone.
Staring at the VR set she thought about her father somberly. Their disagreement bothered her a lot. Normally, True enjoyed working with him; normally she thrived on the companionship they shared while engrossed at whatever task at hand. Today she had not wanted to be a "helper" but her Dad's authority had superseded her desires.
Who was she kidding anyway? There was no one to play with here except Uly and he was too cautious to be much fun. It was way too hot to run around all by herself. It was during a particularly boring job with Dad that she'd come up with the plan to use VR to escape. She gave Dad the silent treatment and he soon gave up trying to coax her into conversation. The silence between them allowed for her plan to spring from idea to practice. Sensing her resentment Danziger had finally told her to go collect wood; a nothing job really, in this heat they only needed a fire in the evenings and there already was plenty of wood for that.
Now that she was alone True was a little reluctant to put her idea into form. She felt somehow that her Dad would not like this kind of escape and she didn't want him to be angry again. Also, she'd "borrowed" the set from Morgan, who'd be sure to raise a big fuss. Her Dad wouldn't be happy about that either. But part of her, deep down, wanted him to be upset. After all, he had upset her this morning. Anger at him won over her wanting to make things right between them. She put the set on.
***********
Devon paused a moment in her thoughts to survey the camp. There was activity everywhere she looked, but people were moving slower than normal. Even Danziger, usually a bundle of energy and purpose seemed to be working as though in a trance. Devon had witnessed his argument with True earlier. She couldn't blame the girl for preferring to play over fixing the Transrover, but she could also see that Danziger needed some help. It was too bad True was still too young to appreciate that Danziger was asking for her help because he couldn't do it alone, not because of some parental chain. It didn't escape Devon's observation that True was no longer with Danziger. And he accused her of "spoiling" Uly!
Devon put it down to the heat that everyone was so lethargic and edgy. She wished it would rain and glanced at the sky, as though clouds might appear, simply because she wished them to. No such luck. She made a mental note to speak with Julia about heat exhaustion.
***********
Danziger's mind was not on his work. He kept daydreaming of a job he'd done a few years back ... It was so much cooler in that place. So much ... safer. Every once in awhile he scanned the perimeter of the camp for True but she'd disappeared and obviously was not going to return until she absolutely had to. He regretted losing his temper with her earlier. He regretted having to ask her for help. It was his own fault for teaching her so much. After all, if she didn't know how to help then he could hardly keep asking her and then she'd have all the time in the world to go off and ... and do whatever kids did. It made him wonder exactly what she was doing. Well, if she needed time alone, she could have it. Later, he would talk to her - but calmly, John, calmly, he told himself. He rarely lost his temper with her as he had this morning. Must be the heat. And that was why his mind was not on his work.
***********
True had entered a world that looked exactly like the one she was escaping from except that opposite her on the log sat another girl. The other girl looked exactly like True.
***********
Long before the sun set Danziger began to worry about True. Now that it was well and truly dark he could feel a steady panic rising. No one could seem to recall which direction she'd gone and she wasn't responding to repeated calls on gear. Preliminary scouts near the camp had been unsuccessful. Assembling another, more thorough, search Devon was passing out torches and calmly telling people to stick together.
"I'm going this way." Danziger started as soon as his torch was collected and before anyone joined him. Julia hesitated briefly then grabbed her bag and trotted after him. She had to rush to keep up to his pace.
"Why this way?" she asked. When he didn't respond immediately she opened her mouth to repeat the question but he cut her short with,
"Because it's opposite to where I was working." Julia raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. She looked back over her shoulder; sure enough the TransRover was at the other end of the camp. She must have been the only one who'd missed the fireworks between the Danzigers earlier. When True didn't return for the evening meal Alonzo had told Julia he figured True was lying low. Devon was afraid she'd run away. It must have been quite a storm, Julia surmised. Knowing Danziger and True and how alike they were ...
Julia was falling behind Danziger's frantic pace. After climbing the ridge she was short of breath and paused. In the distance she could hear the others, echoing each other "True! True!"
"Why aren't you calling?" she asked. Although he glanced briefly back at her he didn't stop.
"Because I don't think she'll answer me." Then he was out of her circle of light. Julia moved forward, more slowly than before. She could hear Danziger ahead of her, she didn't need to see him. What it must have cost him to say that to her she could only imagine.
***********
Devon and Alonzo were not having any success. Periodically Devon called the others to check on location and progress. Only John did not respond, but Julia was with him. When she wasn't speaking to the others Devon found herself repeating in her mind "Please let her be OK. Please let her be OK." Devon's mind slipped only once to think of the ramifications if something had happened to True. Just thinking of it might turn it into reality and so to prevent this she kept up her mantra. To whom she was begging was never defined in her mind.
"Look!" Alonzo had stopped. Off to their right were flashes of light. Devon shone her torch in that direction.
"It's Julia. That other one must be Danziger. Damn! We've overlapped each other." Devon turned to head left and her torch hit something.
"Wait!" Alonzo grabbed her hand and swung the torch back right. "What's that?" Devon held her breath and she took a few steps in that direction.
"I think it's True's bag."
***********
Although Danziger had not been speaking to anyone on gear, he was wearing it and listening to the efforts of the others to find his daughter. His mind was going numb with possibility that she might not be found. Or worse ... Any second now someone was going to transmit "Got her!" and then this would all fade into a bad dream. Maybe it already was a bad dream, who knew with dreams on this planet.
He certainly wasn't paying attention to Julia, who long ago given up any verbal interaction with him. She was so far behind him that their torches no longer crossed but were working independently of each other. To his left he could see the lights of two of the others, but he didn't stop. Devon's voice cut in suddenly,
"Danziger! I think we've found True's bag. We're to your left now." He pulled the mike up as he swung around and started jogging towards the other lights.
"What about True?" His own voice sounded so cold and detached from the situation, even to him.
"No," Devon sounded hesitant, "Uh,..."
"There!" Alonzo shouted. "Over there!"
Danziger was running now, heedless of his own safety on the uneven ground. Twice he nearly tripped and his arms sprung out to steady him. Devon and Alonzo were right behind and Julia was in the rear. Danziger wondered if the others could hear his heart pounding as loudly as he could.
True was lying as though asleep up against a log. She looked so peaceful that for a split second Danziger was sure she was dead. His hesitation at confirming this allowed Julia to catch up with them. The still air was disturbed by the sound of her ragged breathing. As Danziger showed no signs of approaching his daughter Julia moved forward to check her. Danziger's arm shot out to stop her. In doing so, his torch shone directly onto True. There was a gasp, perhaps from Devon. True was not asleep; her eyes were wide open.
"She's in VR." Devon's statement came out sounding more like a question. Now Danziger moved in towards True, his hand reaching for the VR set.
"No!" Julia cried alarmed. "It's very dangerous to do that. Especially if she's been in there a long time." Danziger's hand pulled back as though burned.
"What do we do then?" he asked, not taking his eyes off of True's. Julia moved in to check True and this time Danziger did not stop her.
"Blood pressure and respiration are normal." Julia's voice became calmer. "There is a tremendous amount of brain wave activity. If we," Julia twisted around to face Danziger, "if we just yank her out of there it could cause serious brain damage." Danziger reached out slowly and touched True's hair. She didn't stir or acknowledge his touch in any way.
"Julia," Devon leaned over, "how can we bring her out of it?"
"Someone has to go into the program and convince her to leave it on her own."
"I'll do it." Danziger grunted without looking at them.
"Can we move her?" Devon asked.
"Yes." Julia stood up. "I think we should all go back to camp. This is not the best place to deal with anything, especially in the middle of the night."
Danziger gingerly picked True up, dropping his torch in the process. He strode back towards the camp, quickly but not at the hell for leather pace of the search. Devon retrieved the torch and followed. Alonzo raised everyone on gear and told them to return to camp. Julia walked slowly behind the group. She was disturbed.
***********
"You mean she's in some kind of VR coma?" Morgan squeaked. Bess, looking near tears, nodded.
"Julia's afraid that if she doesn't come out of it by herself then her brain will freak out or something. They figure she was in there all afternoon and until they found her." Morgan paced in the small area in their tent. VR was near and dear to him. That it could cause this kind of problem could be a big problem for him too. Especially after he ...
Breaking his pacing abruptly Morgan began searching through his belongings.
"Oh no!" he cried, when his search found nothing. "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"
"What?" asked Bess, "Morgan! What?!"
"That little brat!" Morgan practically screamed. "Oh no!" He stormed out of the tent. By the time Bess followed he'd disappeared into Julia's tent.
***********
It was getting crowded in Julia's tent even before Morgan showed up. Danziger sat next to True, a VR set dangling loosely in his fingers. Devon and Yale stood next to Julia's table, both looking concerned. Little Uly had snuck in and was watching True with wide and scared eyes. Alonzo was seated his hands fidgeting nervously and Julia was checking True yet again with the glove. Morgan burst in and stopped short at the sight of so many people. Whatever he'd intended to say came out as a startled,
"Aaaghhhh!" which cut off after he received a withering look from Alonzo. Danziger ignored him. Bess poked her head in after Morgan, but didn't say a word. She cast her sympathetic eyes on Danziger who didn't appear to be aware of anyone's presence.
"OK." Julia said softly to him. Swiftly he slid the VR set onto his head.
"Everybody out." he said softly, staring at the floor. He looked up. "Now!" That last command, gruff and loud, like the Danziger of old startled them into action. Bess tugged at Morgan who spluttered,
"But she, she ... " before disappearing outside.
Yale herded Uly towards the door and Alonzo gave Julia's arm a light squeeze before following. Devon moved to follow but stopped and turned when Danziger called,
"Wait." Their eyes locked a moment. "Stay. Please." She nodded.
"OK."
"Right, then." Julia said briskly, "Go ahead. But remember, she has to initiate the leaving."
Danziger seemed surprisingly reluctant to begin the procedure.
"Why hasn't she come out on her own?" he asked Julia. She wished people didn't always turn to her for all the answers. Especially the ones she didn't have.
"I don't know. Maybe she's so caught up in it that she doesn't realize it's VR. Maybe . . . I don't know John." She didn't say what she was most worried about and that was that something had happened to True in VR that was preventing her from leaving.
Danziger took a deep breath and entered . . . a world that resembled the area around which they had found True lying. Except it was mid-day and the sun was hot. Yes, there was the log, there was her bag. My God, it was so REAL! Danziger had never felt so a part of a VR program before, he could even feel the hot wind on his face.
After turning a complete 360 degrees without finding her, Danziger sighed. He'd spent a great deal of time in reality scouring this countryside for True and now it would appear he was going to have to do the same in VR as well.
"True!" he called softly, tentatively at first. Would she hide from him, even in VR? This was ridiculous, she must be here or the program wouldn't have put him in this spot. "True!" he shouted.
"Have you come to play with me?" True asked, in a sweet innocent voice that was not like her.
Danziger whirled around to find her standing behind him, standing where there had been no one a second before. His shoulders sagged with relief.
"True, baby, " he didn't know what to say. He hadn't counted on having his apology to her being witnessed by Julia and Devon. That wasn't important now, John, he told himself sternly. "True, I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I am."
She didn't respond but kept looking at him with a frank curiousity. He was starting to feel uncomfortable under this scrutiny. What was wrong with her anyway? Had the extended time in VR changed her personality?
He took a step closer to her and she backed away, looking scared. He stopped, confused. True had never been afraid of him. He must have really lost his temper. Her fear hurt him, more than he would consciously admit. He cleared his throat and tried again.
"True, I'm sorry that I wasn't more understanding. It's just that I rely on you to help me ..." This was stupid. They should not be having this conversation here. "True, we have to get out of here."
"Why?" she asked, surprised.
"Because this isn't reality. C'mon, it's time to go back. OK? Let's get out of VR and go back to reality." He coaxed. She didn't move.
"But I like it here."
"Sweetie," Danziger reached out as though to touch her. He knew that it was just an image of True; the real True lay on Julia's cot. But it was just an image of him trying to touch her as well. Unfortunately, she was beyond his reach and he didn't want to risk having her move away from him again. His arm dropped back to his side. Something was definitely wrong here. "True, I know that today probably wasn't the best of days, but remember there are things you like about reality too. Let's go back there and we'll talk ..." Danziger's voice trailed off as his eyes caught sight of something behind True.
***********
True stood next to a tree looking down on the scene below with growing fear. She leaned against the tree, needing it's solid feeling to support her. She knew she shouldn't be able to feel the tree, but then, a lot of things weren't not quite right in this VR program. Including the image of herself talking to her Dad just below her. The implications of it made her a little dizzy.
"True, I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I am." She could hear her Dad but it was a though he was a lot further away. He looked sorry too. Right now, she was a lot more afraid of her VR image than of her father's wrath.
"True, we have to get out of here." He was saying.
"Why?" True couldn't believe she was hearing herself.
"Because this isn't reality. C'mon, it's time to go back. OK? Let's get out of VR and go back to reality." True's hand came up to touch the VR set; she wanted so much to pull it away from her eyes.
"But I like it here." True's hand came away from the set as her eyes caught sight of something hidden behind her double's back. Her mouth opened with the intent to shout as she saw her Dad lean in towards the other True. Unable to scream she moved away from the comfort of the tree and this motion caused her Dad to look in her direction.
**********
Danziger was distracted only for the briefest seconds but that was all it took for True to leap him and swing around from behind her back a large knife which she plunged into his stomach with a viscious glee. Danziger cried out and doubled over. Shocked at both the pain, the intense pain, which one was not supposed to feel in VR; and by the act that True had committed, he clutched his abdomen. Horrified by the blood that now covered his fingers he focussed instead on his daughter's face. There was an eerie look of satisfaction, right down to her eyes. Above them he could hear someone else screaming. He was starting to black out. He reached up to his eyes and pulled the VR set away.
***********
Devon and Julia watched the exchange between Danziger and his daughter anxiously. Of course, they could only witness his side of it, as True remained silent and motionless. When his first entreaty to get her back to reality failed the two women exchanged glances. There was no need for words. Obviously it wasn't going to be as simple as they hoped. At one point True's hand went up to the VR set and she seemed about to end the program. Devon's heart leaped.
"C'mon True." she whispered.
Suddenly Danziger doubled over in pain. They both rushed towards him but Julia was slightly quicker.
"He's going into shock!" she cried alarmed, not really knowing how to treat this. Was it Danziger or his image in VR that was in trouble? How do you treat a VR image? She was saved from her dilemma by Danziger's hand wrenching the VR set off his eyes and flinging it across the room.
"John?" Devon was also leaning over him. "What happened?"
Danziger's fearful eyes scanned the tent. He could see Julia and Devon, both concerned, and True, slightly obscured from this angle, still lying eyes open on Julia's cot her hand back at her side. He was breathing heavily and his heart was pounding in his throat. He found that his hands were pressed hard against his stomach where ... there was no stab wound. Still breathing heavily, he began to relax a bit. He wasn't dying. This was something to be thankfull for. But True had stabbed him. This was unthinkable.
He groaned and covered his face with his hands, pulling them suddenly away to examine them. There was no blood. Julia and Devon hovered ever closer both wanting to touch him, both for different reasons.
"John," Devon's voice was more soothing now, less demanding. "Take it easy. Take it easy." She and Julia helped him to a seated position. "Tell us what happened." He looked so afraid, so upset, Devon grew more concerned.
"She wouldn't come out with me." He said abruptly.
"Obviously." Julia said, stress making her more sarcastic than she intended. "Why not?"
Danziger struggled to his feet. He felt totally drained. Sadly, he looked down at his daughter's still form.
"I don't know."
***********
Bess had watched her husband grow from angry to agitated to frantic back to angry again and she had not succeeded in getting any answers from him.
"Morgan, I know she took your VR set, but that's hardly a consideration now is it? The main concern is whether or not she's going to be OK. Right?" But Morgan was somewhere else and not paying her any attention. He seemed to worried that it was somehow going to be his fault. This didn't make any sense to Bess. True had taken the set all on her own. It wasn't Morgan's fault that she'd gotten stuck in there.
Morgan sat down like a dejected lump next to Bess. He turned his serious eyes towards her and ended up slumped against her shoulder.
"Oh Bess, I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt." She patted his shoulder to try to comfort him. "I was experimenting, but I never thought anyone else would be using it, I mean it is MY set and so if anything happened it should have happened to ME, right? I mean, it's not as though I leant it to her or asked her to try it out or I mean, you know what I mean?" He looked at her imploringly. Something stirred inside Bess. Up to now she'd been thinking Morgan was worried because it was his VR set involved. Perhaps there was more to this.
"What exactly do you mean?" Morgan sighed unhappily.
"I've been fiddling with a VR program, y'know just tinkering around really, trying to, well, I ... "
"Morgan!" Bess said sharply, "What did you do?"
"I programmed it to reproduce images of the user." Morgan quickly looked away, as though he expected a reprimand from her.
"What do you mean 'reproduce images'?" Bess asked slowly. "Do you mean that there will be more than one image of the user in the program?" Morgan nodded unhappily. Bess's next question caught him by surprise.
"Why?"
"I wanted to have a companion that was just like me." Morgan wailed. "Who better to fill that role than me?" Bess shook off the implications of that and focussed on the problem at hand.
"What makes you think that something has gone wrong with the program?"
"The one time I tried to use it - it didn't make a complete copy of me." Morgan could see more questions in his wife's eyes so he pushed on. "There were two images but they were not the same person. One was me and the other only contained some parts of my personality," Morgan hung his head low and finished so softly Bess could barely hear him, "and they weren't very nice parts."
Bess was silent for a long time wondering what this meant for Danziger and True. Had Morgan's program copied True? Was that why she hadn't come out?
"We've got to tell John." Bess said finally. Morgan gave a low moan.
"Oh, great, like he needs another excuse to want to kill me."
***********
Danziger sat on his cot looking at True's empty bed. Julia had told him to take a rest before attempting another VR rescue. If she'd been surprised at how easily he'd agreed to it she didn't show it. Devon's face had betrayed her though. She'd expected Danziger to jump right back in. Danziger had walked off to his tent without another word, but feeling her questioning gaze burn into his back.
Now, in the solitude of his tent, he could admit, if only to himself, that he was afraid to go back into the program. True had tried to kill him. Images of True's life began to float before him - the first time he'd held her (Hell, it had been the first time he'd EVER held a baby); the first time she looked at him and known who he was; her shaky first steps; her running to him when he returned from work, eager to share some miracle of the day; her squatting near him while he worked, chatting away and laughing; putting her to bed at night; explaining what 22 light years of cold sleep (there and back again) would mean; True demanding a cat upon their return; her fear of the crash, her wonderment at the dirt ... There was nothing in those memories that he could reconcile with the True he had just encountered in VR. Suddenly, like a flash, another image hit his brain - True with Gaal.
Danziger had to admit that there were parts of his daughter he didn't know. What kind of pride he must have to assume he knew what lurked in the mind of his little girl! He remembered the negative waves pouring off her yesterday while they'd attempted to work together.
What was worse, he wondered, the fear or the hurt?
***********
Devon hesitated outside of Danziger's tent. He hadn't seemed willing to discuss the details of his trip. Something terrible had happened there. Something so bad that he wasn't rushing back in, even though True still lay in her VR coma. Devon couldn't imagine how bad it would be to prevent her from going after Uly and Danziger had proven in the past that he could match her in stubborness and parental love for his child.
And now Morgan's confession. Trust Morgan to be responsible for putting a wrench into this mess. Devon was a little worried that Danziger, in his present state of mind, might do something rash - like attack Morgan. She had offered to explain the situation.
Entering his tent Devon saw Danziger staring into space, an expression of such sadness on his face that she forget all her worries about his wrath.
"John," she crouched on the floor and looked up at him, "John, please. Tell me what happened."
Danziger didn't respond immediately and for a moment she was sure he hadn't even heard her. Then, without looking down at her he started.
"It was in the place where we found her, except it was day. It was hot, but there was a wind. There was wind." he repeated wonderingly. "It was so real. I've never been in a program that was so real before." Now he looked down at her. She put her hand on his knees and encouraged him to continue with her eyes. He cleared his throat and stared up at the tent wall again.
"She appeared out of nowhere behind me. She didn't want to leave. She said she 'liked' it just where she was. She," here Danziger paused, and his voice dropped to almost a whisper. "she was afraid of me."
Devon was beginning to understand Danziger's uncharacteristic reluctance to act. He was far too emotionally close to the problem to be able to deal with it. His hands covered his face and he was rocking slightly. She brushed aside some of his hair, just as she would do to Uly when it got so long she couldn't see his eyes. This maternal touch did not seem to affect Danziger, although at any other time she was sure he would have not have allowed her this close.
"You two had a pretty big disagreement yesterday." she whispered to him. "It's natural for her to be little ..." Devon paused. It was hard to imagine fiesty True being afraid of John, under any circumstances.
"You don't understand." John looked at her, putting his hands over top of hers which remained on his knees. "I have never, would never hit True. Never."
"I know." Devon believed him. Danziger was big and he could be tough; violence was an option he would willingly use when warranted, but not against a child. That was not something she could imagine him doing.
"She backed away from me and she refused to leave VR." Danziger continued with the story. "Then, " he squinted up to roof, as though still trying to see what had distracted him. "I dunno, something caught my eye. I don't know what it was." There was a long pause. Devon toyed with the idea of telling him that she and Julia had seen True's hands go for the VR set and rejected it.
"Julia said you were going into shock." Devon said, "Just before you came out of it, you cried out ..."
"She stabbed me." Danziger said harshly, bluntly. "She stabbed me in the stomach." Devon gasped. Whatever she'd been expecting, this was not it. Danziger's hands went back to cover his eyes again. "Oh God! There was all this blood and someone screaming and True. And True! Looking triumphant!"
Devon's hands flew up to his face, trying to comfort as well as pry his fingers away from his eyes.
"John, I know that," she hesitated, "I know that it must seem ..." He roughly pushed her away and she nearly fell over backwards.
"Don't you tell me how I should feel!" he snapped at her. "Don't you tell me what I'm going through now. You wait until Uly comes after you with a MagPro and Shoots - You - Dead." He jabbed a finger at her to emphasize his words. "Then, and only then, you can tell me how to feel." The anger gone he slumped back on the cot again and sighed wearily. "My daughter tried to kill me and took great pleasure in it. You have no idea what that feels like."
"John, you have to keep in mind that all of this happened in VR. Not reality." He was shaking his head.
"Devon, it was so REAL. I felt the pain. I felt the blood. I saw her expression." Danziger shook his head. "She was like someone I didn't even know."
Suddenly, a thought sprang into Devon's head. In the shock of John's story, she'd nearly forgotten Morgan's confession.
"But it wasn't reality John. It wasn't real. And more than that, I don't think it was True either."
Now he cocked his head at her with that familiar 'are you crazy look' that usually infuriated her. She scrambled to her feet and began pacing in the small area.
"It looked like True because True created the image by being the user of the program."
"What are you talking about?" Danziger remained seated following her with his eyes.
"Hear me out before you do anything." Devon said, "You see, well, it appears Morgan was messing around with a program that would copy the user's image. In order to create the perfect companion." Devon added dryly. Danziger's eyes narrowed. With Morgan involved it must mean bad news.
"So, " Devon resumed her pacing, "the user enters the program and a copy is created, but not the whole person. Just one part of the personality is transferred onto the other image. And magnified or something." Danziger was on his feet now, his face held in an expression of controlled rage. Devon held out her arm to stop him storming out of the tent.
"Please, John, you're supposed to hear me out first." He made no other motion to move.
"What Morgan said was that the only time he tried it, the other image of him was so awful he had to shut down the program. Now, knowing how narcissistic Morgan is, we have to assume that his copy was really, REALLY, exaggerated for him to not like himself."
"I dunno," Danziger muttered, "It's not so hard not to like Morgan."
"What if True copied herself, but only one part of her personality made it into the image?"
"Yeah, the part that wants me dead." Danziger said.
Devon had to admit to herself that it still wasn't a very attractive situation. She frowned and bit her lip, thinking. When she spoke it was as though she was thinking aloud.
"But amplified somehow. Look, you guys have a big blowout. She resents you for making her work when she'd rather be off chasing Kobas. You finally tell her to scram and she heads far away and sits and fumes about how unfair you are, how unfeeling, how unkind, whatever. It's totally natural for a kid to rebel against a parent now and again. But now this feeling is transferred into an image of True - and that's the only part of her in that image!" Danziger nodded as though he was finally beginning to understand.
"So if what you're saying is right then the True that attacked me was just an image of her anger at me." he said slowly.
"Yes! Her anger personified in a perfect image of True." Devon paused thoughfully, "Which means ..."
"Which means that I wasn't speaking to True at all." Danziger tried to ignore the waves of relief that were invading his conscience. "Then where was she?" He mused. His mind replayed the scene again, with vivid clarity. "She was watching from above. She was screaming."
"There's only one way to find out." Devon said, picking up the VR set from Danziger's cot. "Let's go."
***********
True sat on the log, where in reality she'd been found, her body shaking uncontrollably with fear. She was crying. She couldn't seem to take her eyes off the place where her Dad had been standing. Where he'd fallen over, bleeding, and where he finally disappeared by leaving the program.
What if he was dead? Life without Dad was unthinkable. But far, far worse was the feeling of guilt because if he was dead, well, then it was she who had killed him. She could not leave VR now.
If she went back and he was dead then not only would everyone blame her (and rightly so) but there would be no Dad. But if she didn't go back and he was alive then he would think that she'd wanted him dead. He wouldn't come back in to get her now. They were probably packing up camp in preparation to leave and she would remain on the hill, next to this log until she died of starvation or went stark raving mad. True had heard stories of people who had gone insane from abusing VR. She had lost track of time but she felt it had been quite a while since she'd entered the program.
True had been going around in circles with these thoughts since her father's disappearance. She couldn't get her hands to stop shaking. She couldn't think straight at all. Maybe she already was crazy.
"Stop blubbering!" her own voice commanded. True swung around, startled, to face herself.
"You tried to kill him!" she choked out, accusingly.
"That's what you wanted, wasn't it?" her image asked.
"No." True whispered horrified. Then more strongly, "No! Never!"
Her own eyes gave her a look of disbelief. True felt as though she was looking in a mirror, except there was something not quite right about those eyes.
"Well, " the image stated matter of factly, "if you hadn't wanted it, then I wouldn't have done it. I am you, you know."
True stood up shakily. She was becoming a little annoyed at the perfect image of herself.
"You are NOT me. I would NOT stab Dad. I would NOT." The image gave a shrug, as though it didn't really matter to her one way or the other.
True had made up her mind. She was leaving this place. It hadn't been much fun to begin with and now it was simply a nightmare. And she had to know what had happened to Dad. If he was still alive she had to explain that it hadn't been her with the knife.
As though the image could read her mind, and maybe she could, she broke into True's thoughts.
"I wouldn't be so hasty to leave, if I were you." The image laughed delightedly at the irony of those words.
"Why not?" True asked, cautiously.
"'Cos you can't go without me, and I'm not ready to go yet."
True tried to decide if her image was bluffing. It would be the sort of thing she would do. Could she take the risk? What would happen if she ended the program without the image's consent?
"When are you going to be ready?" True asked. But her image did not respond, and instead turned and ran away from her. True did not follow. Her hands had stopped shaking, but her mind was still in turmoil.
***********
Danziger was preparing to enter the program again. His reluctance was mostly due to the fact that he wasn't sure if he was going to enter at the same point he'd left. If that were the case, he'd better find True immediately, or he'd be dead. Julia was trying to set his mind at ease by saying that ending the program when he did also ended that story-line, or words to that effect when Morgan burst in.
Danziger did not want Morgan around. He'd never really wanted Morgan around, because he suspected one day Morgan's selfishness was going to cost the group in a big way. But now, in particular, he didn't want Morgan to witness this second attempt to pry True from the grips of VR, Morgan's VR.
"Get out of here." Danziger said stonily. As usual, Morgan's fear of Danziger made him more jumpy than usual; but he held his ground.
"Wait! Before you go you have to know something!" Now he had everyone's attention.
"What now?!" demanded Danziger. "Haven't you caused enough problems?" Devon held out a restraining arm, which Danziger pushed aside angrily.
"What is it Morgan?" Devon asked calmly, hoping that Danziger's intimidating presence wouldn't cause Morgan to disintegrate into a babbling fool.
"You have to get them both. They have to both come out. Both of them." Morgan did begin to babble as Danziger's eyes narrowed. He felt that those eyes were small spears trying to pierce him.
"Why?" asked Julia.
"They are both True. If only one comes, it won't be the complete person."
Danziger wasn't too sure he wanted to have the other True a part of his daughter and he was thinking that it would probably be a good idea if he left the homicidal one in VR.
"What will happen if only one comes?" asked Devon.
"I don't know." confessed Morgan, "But I'm sure, I know, it won't be good."
There was silence as they all digested this new information, or lack thereof. Abruptly, Devon broke their thoughts.
"Morgan, when you did this, how did you get yourself back together?"
"I don't know." mumbled Morgan. Danziger's patience snapped. He roughly grabbed Morgan by the shoulders and shook him violently.
"Geez, Morgan just once! Just once do something useful! Give me some more information! That's my daughter in there - in your program. Tell me how to help her." But Morgan was nearly jello at this attack.
"I don't know alright!" he wailed. "It just happened. I don't remember how."
"How are you going to tell them apart?" Devon asked Danziger anxiously.
"Well, I'd guess the one with the weapon is probably the one to avoid." he said sarcastically.
"Weapon?" Morgan queiried, surprised.
"How come Danziger didn't split?" asked Julia suddenly.
"It's a conscious decision." Morgan said, calmer now. "What, uh, what kind of weapon did you mean?" But Danziger had turned away from him in disgust. Devon, however, showed renewed interest in Morgan's information.
"Do you mean that True created that image knowingly?" Morgan nodded.
"I don't see how else it could have happened. If the program had gone screwy and was simply reproducing people then there would have been two Danzigers as well."
"Isn't it possible then," Devon hypothesized, "that True will have to consciously decide to bring that image back into herself?"
"The biggest problem," Julia added, "is going to be telling which is which."
"I don't think you should go back there alone." Devon said to Danziger, "Especially after that attack."
"She attacked you!" Morgan cried, "Ohhh!" He was cut off by Danziger's growl,
"Shut up! And get out of here before I drag you into the program and have her assasinate you." Morgan backed up fearfully, but with a final show of bravado,
"You know, this isn't my fault. She shouldn't have taken my set to begin with, which is something everyone seems to have forgotten." Danziger only had to take one step towards him and Morgan disappeared outside the door.
Danziger put the set on.
"I go alone."
***********
When he first entered the scene Danziger found he was holding his breath. He released it only after examining himself and finding no stab wounds. Ten points for the Doc, he thought. Ahead of him, with her back towards his entrance, sat True. She was obviously upset. He moved swiftly, but with some degree of caution, in her direction.
She didn't hear him and started alarmed when his hand touched her shoulder. She jumped up and backed away.
"True?" he asked, "Are you OK?"
Her eyes were saucers and her faced was streaked. He could tell she'd been crying. She stood about five feet away. He thought maybe she was going to hyperventilate.
"You're alive!" she whispered. "You're not dead." To Danziger, it sounded more like wonderment than disappointment. He gave her a grin and shrugged, trying to make it seem like nothing.
"Sure. 'Course I'm alive. I had to come back and get you."
"You came back for me?" she asked, now truly amazed. How, wondered Danziger, how did they get so far apart from each other? He knelt on his knees to bring himself down to her height so they could look each other in the eyes.
"True, I would never leave you behind. Now, this is not a good place to be. This program is, uh, corrupt in some way, so we have to leave it. Soon. OK?" Danziger was trying hard not to look around for the other True but he was feeling like someone was watching them from behind. One at a time, he told himself. "OK? True?"
"We can't leave." True said, "She won't let me."
"Who won't let you?" asked Danziger, already knowing.
"The other True, the one who," True couldn't meet his eyes, "who stabbed you with the knife."
"Well," Danziger started and was interrupted by,
"Dad! Dad!" he whirled around, standing, and sure enough there was another True running down the hill towards them. "Dad, you're alive!"
She flung herself into his arms her relief pouring out in a flood of tears. His arms wrapped around her instinctively even while he watched the other True, who stood aloof.
"Sure. Hey, hey, take it easy. Ssshhh." He stroked her head. For a moment the three of them stood eyeing each other warily, True's ragged breathing and sniffling the only sound.
Now what, John? Danziger wondered. He'd never thought of having twins and the idea was not very appealing. Somehow he had to figure out which True was which and put them together. But how?
***********
Devon paced around Danziger's still form becoming increasingly agitated.
"What's happening? He hasn't moved for, for how long?" she demanded of Julia, who remained still watching Devon guardedly.
"Eight minutes." Devon's facial expression asked the question her mouth did not voice. Julia shook her head. "I don't know. True's not moving either. I thought it was just because she'd been in there for so long, but ..." her voice trailed off as she examined Danziger's motionless, expressionless body with the diaglove. "His vital signs are all normal."
"This is supposed to be comforting!" Devon snapped. Abruptly she grabbed the VR set from Julia's table. "I'm going after him."
Julia moved forward and grabbed Devon's arm as she put the set on her head.
"Are you sure that's wise?"
"No, I'm not sure of anything. But I can't stand here and watch this!" Devon gestured to the Danzigers, both frozen. "How long do we wait for something to happen? Twenty minutes? An hour? A day? They have to come out of there now!"
As Devon entered the program she could hear Julia calling for Alonzo.
***********
The first thing Devon noticed when she entered the program was that it was raining, hard. The drops were large and almost painful on her head. Boy Danziger wasn't kidding when he said it was REAL! It was dusk and there was no sign of Danziger or True. Devon felt the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. This place was creepy.
"Danziger!" she called, "True! Where are you guys?" She thought she caught sight of some movement near a tree up the hill. She headed in that direction. "Danziger? True?"
As she neared the person she saw that it was John. He regarded her stonily.
"What are you doing here?" Devon was beginning to feel a little foolish. Perhaps she'd overreacted.
"I was worried about you. You stopped moving. You weren't speaking anymore."
He regarded her evenly. And then shook his head slowly.
"You just couldn't keep your nose out of it could you Adair?"
"What's going on? Did you find them both?"
"Yup."
"And?" Devon was becoming impatient. What was wrong with the man? Did he want to stay in here?
"We have a little bit of a problem." Danziger said. Except it wasn't the man in front of her who spoke. Devon turned, knowing but not wanting to face what she thought she was going to see. John Danziger was walking towards her down the hill, a True on each arm.
***********
Alonzo helped Julia move Danziger to a lying position on another cot next to True. They both watched Devon anxiously.
"What do you figure's going on in there?" Alonzo asked Julia, noting her tired, worried expression.
Julia shook her head and gave a little laugh that had nothing to do with amusement.
"Who'd have thought that one of our own devices could become a threat like this! And I thought all we had to worry about was Grendlers and Kobas and penal colonists."
"Should I go in?" Alonzo asked.
"No, let's wait for Devon."
***********
"Oh my God, John. What have you done?" Devon whispered. The Danziger with the two Trues was regarding her with amused eyes; the other scowled. Both Trues stared at the ground miserably.
"Well, Adair, any suggestions?"
Devon realized her mouth was still agape in shock and she shut it abruptly.
"No." she snapped. "But I assume you must have had some reason for doing this to yourself. Why don't you enlighten me?"
One Danziger shrugged with an "I'm sorry" grin. The other, the one she'd first encountered, said roughly, "Since you don't have anything to contribute, why don't you just leave?"
Devon turned back towards him, a little hurt but nothing in the world would make her show him that.
"Hey, Danziger! I'm here to *help* you." He said nothing, eyeing her with hostility.
Devon tried to size up the situation. Which of them was most likely to be the real John, and which was the copy? Her first instinct was to go with the hostile one - she'd seen John be that prickly on many occassions. But then again, the other one was with True and that seemed more likely to be what John would do.
The Danziger with the Trues sat heavily on the ground, massaging his temples gently.
"Man, I have such a headache!"
This surprised Devon. Headaches were a part of reality, not VR. As it was becoming more and more apparent, this was no ordinary VR program.
One True brushed her fingers through his hair. The other held a tight grip on his shoulder, as though she was afraid he would leave without her. Neither appeared openly hostile. Devon could only assume that this meant one of them was masking her true feelings. Great!
"Devon! Devon! Come back here!" Julia's voice cut in on Devon's thoughts. Startled, she looked at the group.
"Go on then." the hostile Danziger said. The other threw her a glance she couldn't interpret.
"Be right back." she said with forced cheerfulness. God what a mess! Devon exited the program.
***********
Julia stood over Danziger's horizontal body, the diaglove slowly crisscrossing over his chest and head.
"What is it?" Devon asked, pulling the VR set off her head completely. Julia looked at her somberly for a second. "Danziger's split into two images."
"I thought maybe that's why he stopped moving." Julia nodded. "It makes more sense now."
"What?!" Devon asked, exasperated.
"Devon, the activity in his brain is causing other physiological complications."
"What kind of complications?" Devon asked, moving closer to the cot.
"Erratic heart beat, falling blood pressure, shallow respiration ..."
"I don't get it." Alonzo said, seated at Julia's table. "True's been in there for hours and she's basically OK; Danziger's been in there for - how long?
"Just over an hour." Julia confirmed. Devon swung back towards her, amazed.
"What? How long was I in there?"
"Fifty-six minutes." Julia stated.
"It felt like only a few minutes." Devon whispered.
"But what I mean is why is Danziger having these problems and not True?" asked Alonzo.
"I don't know." Julia confessed, "True's a child and Danziger's an adult. True's a female and Danziger's a man. True initiated the program and Danziger's a guest. There are too many variables. The point is - he has to come out of there soon or he's going to have a cardiac arrest."
"Right." Devon said, business-like again, placing the VR set on her head once more. "Understood."
"Don't ..." Devon didn't wait to hear Julia's warning. She didn't need to. She had no intention of copying herself.
***********
It was day again, but air was cooler and the ground still wet after the rain. The scene was deserted except for one of the Danzigers, seated with his back against a tree trunk. Devon strode towards him.
"Danziger!" she called, to get his attention. He squinted at her.
"Where've you been?" he asked, in a monotone. Time obviously was not moving at the same rate between the two realities. She tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace. She sat on the ground next to him.
"John, we have to leave the program. You have to get that copy back into yourself." Unless, Devon prayed silently, you already have taken care of that.
"My head hurts." John said, without emotion. Devon decided to try another approach.
"Where's True?" John flapped his hand behind him vaguely. "Where's the other you?"
"I don't like him very much." John admitted and barked a short laugh. "Kinda funny, ya know, considering he is me." Then, "I'm getting really tired."
"Why don't you like him?" Devon asked, looking for any kind of clue that would tell her who was who. John leaned his head back to the tree and closed his eyes.
"He's so freaked out, so worried about stuff. I just want to say - Relax Man! Geez! That kind of anxiety can't be healthy."
"He's worried about True?" prompted Devon, who was feeling quite worried herself. Danziger opened one eye to look at her.
"He's worried about EVERYTHING. About True and how the Hell we're going to leave this nightmare. And even supposing we do, then whether or not something else might happen to her along the way. About the group and how we're going to make it to New Pacifica. Are we going to have enough food? About those stupid, silly vehicles and whether or not they're going to keep running. And if they don't then how he's going to fix them, or even if he can. About fulfilling your expectations ... " John's voice died off and Devon began to realize the kind of pressure John had put on himself. And quite clearly, the kind of pressure she had put on him.
"Aren't you worried?" she asked, mostly to keep him talking. His eyes were both closed again.
"Naw. Whatever happens, happens. I can't change it."
As Devon contemplated a John Danziger completely devoid of all anxiety she became aware of another presence. One of the Trues had quietly joined them and was standing behind her.
"Devon, please, help us." she pleaded. "I want to go home."
Cautiously Devon moved so that her back was also against the tree trunk. She was at a loss.
***********
True sat huddled in the branches of the tree directly above her father and Devon. At least, she thought it was her Dad. She wasn't entirely positive. She saw that Devon was wary of the other True. How, thought True, can I make her believe that I'm me and the other one is a fake? Whatever she did, her double was sure to copy.
True was worried about her Dad. Ever since he split apart he didn't seem to be able to do anything. She was counting on him to help her. Sort of like he counts on you, True? her mind asked.
"That was different." she whispered aloud.
Devon's head jerked up.
"True? Is that you?"
Her cover blown, True swung her legs down and jumped easily, despite the height. She glared at her double, who glared right back. It was better than a mirror.
True walked over to her Dad and grabbed his hand. Danziger gave a low moan.
"Are we ever going to leave?" True asked him. He regarded her without speaking. Devon held her breath.
Danziger pulled himself up with a tremendous effort.
"Where's that other guy?" he muttered.
***********
Danziger knew that something was not right. He knew because Julia had called Devon back to reality for a reason. He knew because his head felt like someone had used a particularly large hammer to wake him up. He knew because he was rapidly losing the energy to even breathe, let alone speak.
He also knew that nobody but him would be able to fix this problem. 'Pull yourself together, John' he told himself and fought the urge to laugh hysterically at the double meaning. He really didn't have the strength to do so anyway.
His double, who had appeared out of thin air (as people seemed to do in VR) regarded him suspiciously. Now what? If only he could remember ... If only True would stop tugging at his arm; she was going to pull him down.
Devon scrambled to her feet at the sight of the other Danziger.
"You know John," she said, although it was not clear exactly which one she was directing her speach to, "I've been feeling a little guilty about, well, about always expecting you to fix everything."
Both Danzigers turned to face her, identical expressions of disbelief on their faces. In another situation, it might be comical. She swallowed and tried to focus.
"It's just that - well, geez, you're just so ... so good at getting things together. And I've come to sort of count on it. I know it's not fair to put that kind of pressure on you but, " she gave a little laugh, "but in case you haven't noticed, I'm kinda driven and I guess, I guess I expect everyone else to share my, my passion as it were." Devon wondered, briefly, what Julia and Alonzo were thinking of this speach. She dismissed the thought from her mind. John was the important one right now.
"As you often remind me, you weren't supposed to be a part of my plan for this planet. Circumstances changed that. I forget sometimes that you weren't always going to be with us. You are so much a part of our group, we all count on you to do so much. I can't promise that I won't burden you with responsibilities that maybe you didn't expect on this trip. I can't promise that. But I will try to shoulder some of your responsibilities too. I will try not to throw all the problems in your face and then walk away. Do you think we can make it through this together? As a team?" Was this helping at all? Devon wondered. She decided to push on. What were the other worries? True? "I, uh, know that you and I haven't always agreed on parenting techniques, but I hope you know that I consider True to be part of my family; I will look out for her always ..." Devon was trying to remember what other anxieties Danziger had. Wasn't one of them about food? What could she do to fix that?
"Adair," one of them began but was cut off by the other.
"Devon, you never cease to amaze me, you know that?"
"With regard to the immediate problem," Devon ignored the rhetorical question, "I think you should pull your anxieties back into yourself - worries and fears are a normal part of life. Let's get True together and let's get back to reality." She spoke softly, gently, her tone hiding her own fears at their current situation.
Danziger looked down at one of the Trues thoughtfully, his expression hard to read. His breathing was irregular and he looked unsteady on his feet. Suddenly, he drew a deep breath and turned back to face the anxious one.
Devon watched, fascinated, as the second Danziger began to fade. She could see right through him as though he were a ghost from stories of old. Then he was gone.
Danziger fell to his knees and put out his free arm to prevent falling on his face. True still clung to his other hand. He shook his head a few times. Man, was he feeling bad! He gave True's hand a little squeeze as he looked at Devon's face. She couldn't read his expression. Then he turned to the other True. This one he had to do on his own. This little girl was all his own making.
"C'mon over here." he said to the other True. She advanced towards them slowly. He reached out his hand for her and only when he had both of them by the hands did he begin to speak. He tried to speak to them both; trying to remember that although there were two images, there was only one True.
"True, you may hate me for what happened," he was about to say 'earlier today', but he'd lost track of time and wasn't really sure when it had happened. "I was wrong to lose my temper. I needed some help; and I wanted your company. I was feeling under a lot of pressure and I passed that on to you. It was wrong of me to do that to you. It's hard for me to accept that you don't always want to be with your ol' Dad. Please don't hold it against me. It's not right to be angry at someone you love." Danziger was speaking so low he was almost whispering. "I love you very much."
One of the Trues began to pull away from him but he tightened his grip. The other, the one who'd jumped down from the tree, the one he encountered first when entering the second time, threw her arms around his neck and squeezed so tight his windpipe was nearly blocked. He didn't care. He buried his head in her hair and thought that maybe it was nice to be able to feel so much in VR after all. When he looked up the other True was gone.
"Let's go."
***********
Devon pulled the gear off and rubbed her eyes. Who knew how long it had been this time. Alonzo jumped up and guided her gently to the chair.
"Where are they?" he asked.
"They're coming." she answered. Then, to Julia. "Is he going to be alright?" Julia nodded.
The Danzigers left the VR program and stared, dazed at the others in the tent. Without a word, Danziger went over to True and brushed his fingers through her hair, dislodging the VR set that had been hanging askew. True looked like she had just come out of a deep sleep.
"She OK?" he asked Julia, his eyes never leaving True.
"She's probably exhausted, but that's nothing sleep won't cure." Julia responded.
"And me?" Danziger asked, looking at Julia for the first time. She wondered if she should tell him how close he had come to dying, but decided he probably knew already.
"Bed." she ordered.
He took the program out of the now discarded VR set and easily, calmly, crushed it between his fingers. Danziger bent down and picked True up into his arms and left the tent without another word. Both Alonzo and Julia stared at Devon with questions spilling out of their eyes. She would not satisfy their curiousity.
***********
Devon wandered throughout the camp, checking that all was well. She couldn't believe it was night again already. The time that was lost! Everyone but Julia, Alonzo, and Walman (who was acting a nightwatchman) was asleep; including Uly, who looked so peaceful and without care that she was envious. Devon was not tired.
She paused outside of Danziger's tent. She did not want to disturb them but she felt a maternal urge to check on them. She entered.
True lay asleep and Danziger sat by her, stroking her head, lost in thought. He didn't acknowledge her presence and she wondered if he even realized she was there until he asked,
"How much of what you said in there was true?" She folded her arms across her chest. Typical defense stance.
"All of it." When he didn't respond or challenge her, she sat down on his bed and leaned towards him. "What did it feel like?" she asked.
He shifted to face her, surprised at the question, not knowing how to answer.
"It was like, like this weight lifted off me. Like I didn't have to be the one to think about any problems. Like there were no problems at all."
"Sounds nice."
"Yeah, I wasn't too keen on taking my worries back on, let me tell you." Danziger gave a little chuckle.
Devon reached out to grip his shoulder.
"You don't have to face them alone you know."
"I know."
"I wish there weren't so many things to worry about." Devon said.
"Me too." He seemed about to say something else, but remained silent.
Devon stood up and headed for the door. She hesitated,
"John?"
"Yeah?" He had turned back to watch True sleeping.
"Sleep well." Was all she ended up saying. Whatever they had to say to each other would have to wait. Well, they had time.
He lay down beside True and pulled her into his arms. Here was another image of her life that he would keep, alongside those other happy moments they shared. Part of loving her was knowing her, and being able to let her go. Soon, she would grow up and these times would be just memories. Until then, he would cherish just holding her.
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