Chakotay's Brother

by Kath Tate

Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager and its characters are the property of Paramount. This story is not meant to infringe upon the trademarks or copyrights of Paramount.

Kath's notes: It has been established that Chakotay is not from Dorvan V; however, for the purposes of this story his village was there. Also, Khia is an indigenous dog from that planet, a dog that lives a very long time. ;-) Nothing in this story claims to be canon, it is merely here for your enjoyment.

*****

"Hold please!" called out a hurried voice. Chakotay placed a hand on the turbolift’s door to prevent it from closing. Janeway ran in, practically knocking him over, pulling his arm off the door, which then closed.

"Deck 7!" Chakotay instructed the turbolift.

"I’m sorry Commander," spluttered Janeway, trying to catch her breath.

"It’s quite alright," murmured Chakotay, thinking he wouldn’t mind having her run into him more often. "In a hurry?"

"Yes, I’m late actually." She gave him a smile. "There is a gathering in the mess hall to celebrate the new arrival. And I gather there is still a contest with regards to a name, so I thought I’d add my suggestion to the bunch."

"What is your suggestion?" inquired the commander with a grin.

"Well," she gave him a sly look, "I was going to suggest Owen, but then I thought Tom wouldn’t appreciate it. Or maybe he would…" she added thoughtfully.

"Why Owen?" wondered Chakotay aloud.

"Owen is Tom’s father’s name," Janeway admitted. Chakotay chuckled. "Rather than upset Tom, I thought I’d put in Alexander instead. After Alexander the Great, of course."

"Of course," agreed Chakotay. They exited the lift together, Janeway walking at a much calmer pace now.

"Aren’t you coming?" she asked him, when he slowed.

"No," he shook his head. "But you can throw my name suggestion into pile if you like."

"What name is that?" She tried not to show her disappointment.

"Hmmm," he thought for a moment. "How ‘bout Leylo?"

"Leylo? Did you just pull that out of the air?"

"Leylo is my brother’s name," he told her. "Well, it’s not really his name, but it’s what we called him."

Janeway was at a loss for a moment. He turned to go.

"I didn’t know you had a brother," she finally said, as an explanation for her shock. He half turned back to her, with a grin.

"There’s a lot about me you don’t know, Captain." And then he continued on his way, leaving her standing alone in the corridor.

*****

Janeway didn’t enjoy the party as much as she thought she was going to. She wasn’t quite ready to attribute this to the fact that Chakotay had decided not to come, but she suspected his presence would have improved her good time enormously. In the back of her mind she replayed their conversation in the corridor. She didn’t know why, but it bothered her a little that she hadn’t known about his brother. It wasn’t on his warrant for arrest….or was it?

Without really thinking about it Janeway made to leave the gathering. She’d already suggested Alexander and Leylo as baby names, giving Chakotay’s good wishes as well as her own. There was no reason for her to hang around now. And probably everyone would relax a bit more once the Captain was out of the room. At least that was the excuse she gave herself for leaving a social event in order to return to her quarters and examine an old computer file.

It was a very old file, in more than just age, one she hadn’t looked at for a very long time. In fact, she hadn’t even thought about it for so long that she sometimes forgot about Chakotay’s criminal past. The photo with the warrant showed an angry man, scowling. She wondered which surveillance team had caught him. She wondered what he’d been doing at the time.

Leaving the photo, her eyes scanned down the rest of the file. He was wanted for crimes against the Federation/Cardassian Treaty. They were very specifically listed there. She had read this before taking Voyager into the Badlands. She had thought she’d known Chakotay via Tuvok’s reports prior to this mission. But now, reading over his list of crimes she realized that she hadn’t known anything. He was accused of bombing ammunitions depots, of attacking cargo ships along a trade route, of breaking into a Cardassian rehabilitation centre….

Janeway gave a snort. Rehabilitation centre indeed! That was just a fancy name for a prison camp, which for the Cardassians meant nothing more than a torture chamber. Breaking into a Cardassian prison? Breaking *into*? He must have been trying to get someone out, she decided thoughtfully.

Other crimes were more vague but equally as dangerous from the Cardassian point of view. He was quite good at rallying troops; he inspired the cause. He taught the Maquis tactical maneuvers. Janeway suddenly recalled that Chakotay’s career in Starfleet had included teaching.

There was no mention of a brother in the arrest warrant. The only family mentioned was in an attachment, which stated that his mother had been questioned about his whereabouts. She had not been very cooperative. Or maybe she really hadn’t known, Janeway thought sadly. Prior to this Delta Quadrant experience Janeway would have assumed that she was purposely hiding him too. But now…

Janeway wondered when her view of the Maquis had changed. She supposed it had been a gradual process, much like the integration of the Maquis into the Starfleet crew.

Well there was more than one way to investigate his family. Janeway dismissed the warrant with a flick of her wrist, hoping she would never have to look at it again. She called up Chakotay’s Starfleet record. This was also something she had already read, just prior to suggesting to him that they merge their crews. It was always a good idea to know your bedfellows. She smothered a giggle at the cliché.

His record at Starfleet was exemplary. He’d been smart, he’d excelled at his academics. His top skills listed were in tactical strategies, and piloting, and his performance as an instructor had earned him high praise. No wonder Necheyev wanted his hide so badly, Janeway thought. What a blow to Starfleet to have such a bright star defect to another camp! He’d also been an able athlete. The computer had cross referenced his name to several of the Academy’s teams, even after graduation he’d been a coach.

He certainly is good with people, thought Janeway, leaning back in her chair. After watching him work she could have added administrator to his list of skills. It was odd, to read this file now, now that she knew him as a person and not just as the name of a rebel.

It was also odd that there was no mention of family in his Starfleet personnel file. Of course, she was only accessing the public record. Perhaps in the private records there would be a more detailed back history for him. All she found was that he’d come from Dorvan V, where his mother still lived.

That she’d already known.

Janeway closed the files feeling a bit ashamed for her sudden burst of curiousity into her First Officer’s personal life. If he wanted her to know these things, he would have told her. But she couldn’t help but reflect for a moment on it. While she had heard him talk of his father, not without some pain, and she even remembered him mentioning an uncle, she could not recall him speak of his mother. Who was the woman that Starfleet had questioned on the whereabouts of her rebel son? How had she felt about the paths he’d chosen?

And Janeway was absolutely certain she had never heard Chakotay mention his brother before casually tossing out his name in the corridor this evening.

*There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Captain,* he’d said.

What else, Chakotay? What else?

*****

Janeway sought out B’Elanna in the mess hall the following morning at breakfast. Of course, the Captain knew that she should drop this prying into Chakotay’s personal life. Or, if she must pursue it, then she should simply ask him. But she felt, rightly or wrongly, that if he’d wanted to share his family with her, then he would have by now. And as much as she knew she should stop, she couldn’t help but want to know more about him and the kind of family life he’d had.

"You know what I was thinking about last night?" Janeway started the conversation. As Torres had her mouth full, the Captain continued without waiting for a response. "I was thinking about when my sister was born. I was so jealous of the attention my mother gave her."

Torres chewed slowly, not sure what to say to this.

"But," Janeway pushed on, "I suppose it is like that in most families. Siblings being what they are…"

"I wouldn’t know, Captain," Torres said shortly, taking another bite to avoid having to say more.

"I was quite surprised by Commander Chakotay’s name suggestion," Janeway said casually, "I hadn’t realized he even had a brother. Did you ever meet him?"

Torres swallowed, not sure how to reply. If the Captain was wanting to know about Leylo, why didn’t she talk to Chakotay? Unless, unless maybe the Captain already knew about Leylo…

"Yes, I did meet him. Twice, I think it was," Torres told her, gathering another mouthful onto her fork. She missed the Captain’s eyes light up.

When Torres said nothing else, Janeway realized she was going to have to continue to draw the information out of her.

"Younger brother?" she guessed. Torres nodded. "In the Maquis?"

"I first met Leylo when I went for dinner at Chakotay’s mother’s place. We, uh…"

"You went for dinner at his family home?" interrupted Janeway, placing a hand on the other woman’s arm.

"Sure, it wasn’t so unusual, really, as long as we were careful. Chakotay was well known in the village after all, if there’d been any trouble he had contacts to warn him to stay away." Torres paused to take another bite. "I must say I was rather surprised by the dinner. Not about the food, but about the … the number of people who were there!"

"The whole neighbourhood join in, that kind of thing?" Janeway leaned back, enjoying the tale more than her meal.

"Oh no," Torres shook her head. "It was all family. Chakotay has a big family, Captain. Especially," Torres gave a little snort of disgust, "compared to mine."

"More brothers?" wondered Janeway aloud, leaning forward again.

"No," Torres said again, "only Leylo. Leylo and three sisters …"

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway!" Janeway’s badge chirped at her. "Are you taking your bridge shift today?"

Janeway slapped a palm to her forehead. Torres looked on with amused eyes.

"Yes, thank you Tuvok. I will be right there," Janeway informed the comm badge.

"A little late, Captain?" Torres asked, as she too, rose from the table.

"I guess our chat was far more interesting than watching the chronometer!"

*****

"Hey, Chakotay! Had enough, or do you want me to thrash you again?" Torres teased him.

Chakotay leaned over, resting his hands on his thighs, breathing heavily.

"Let’s call it a day," he decided. "You’ve got me beat."

Torres shut down the program and exited with Chakotay. She felt in glorious shape; despite her gloating it wasn’t that often that she could beat Chakotay so thoroughly at Hoverball. He was a worthy opponent. And playing with him always reminded Torres of the closeness of their friendship.

As they waited for the turbolift she watched him. His mind was obviously elsewhere, certainly he hadn’t been concentrating on their game.

"You know what I was thinking about the other day?" she asked.

"What’s that?" he asked, returning his attention to her.

"That time we went over to your mother’s place for dinner. You remember? It seemed like your whole family showed up…"

Chakotay smiled a sad smile. Torres suddenly wished she hadn’t mentioned it. Sometimes memories were best left in the back of one’s mind.

"That was a good time," he agreed, entering the lift. "What on earth made you think of that?"

Then,

"Leylo," they both said together.

"Has a name been chosen?" he asked, changing the topic.

*****

The sun was setting, casting a rosy glow on the walls of the houses they were passing in the village. Chakotay’s boots raised the dust as they scuffled along the trail. They walked without haste, something B’Elanna could not recall doing for some time now. Most of the occupants of the homes they walked by were inside. It was the dinner hour, she could smell a variety of dishes from the open windows, causing her stomach to rumble. Hunger was something with which she *was* familiar. A few stragglers, heading for their suppers, strolled past them, nodding in recognition to Chakotay, who smiled in return.

He was tense. He was always tense these days. The tenseness lived in his shoulders, in his back, she could see it there. She knew he’d been seeing a Bajoran woman off and on for the past few months. B’Elanna was ambivalent to their relationship, although she hoped that it would relieve some of the weight he carried. Somehow, she doubted that a sexual release would help him.

Suddenly the quiet evening was shattered by the barking of a dog barrelling towards them. Instinctively B’Elanna raised her phaser, feeling that they must be under attack from someone. But Chakotay lifted a gentle arm to lower the weapon, just as the dog launched itself on top of him. The two crashed to the ground rolling over one another in the dry dirt.

It took B’Elanna a moment to realize the words he was speaking, to the dog, were not ones she recognized. She was surprised by this, although when she thought about it, it made a lot of sense that English wasn’t Chakotay’s mother-tongue. Still, in the time she’d known him, she’d never heard him speak but a few words, mostly profanity, in another language. Even then, most of those oaths were Klingon, most of them taught by her.

Chakotay and the dog finally finished rolling in the dirt. He stood, brushing as much of the dust off his clothes as he could, with the dog jumping and barking all around him.

"Just in case anyone didn’t know we were coming…" B’Elanna commented. Chakotay laughed. It was a rare and pleasant sound. Was it her imagination, or did his tension seem less now? Well, if all it took was a roll on the ground with an animal perhaps she should look into getting him a dog.

"B’Elanna, meet Khia." The dog stopped jumping and sat, with her head inclined to one side. B’Elanna bent over and gave her a pet on the head. She wasn’t entirely comfortable with dogs, especially not ones as big as this one.

Chakotay took her hand in his, resulting in a growl from Khia, who obviously wanted to be the only lady in his life. But he snapped the fingers on his other hand and the growling stopped. Khia trotted along beside them, happy to be an escort.

"We’ve been rolling around with each other for a long time now. I keep thinking that she’s getting too old for such play, but I do it because she expects it." He laughed again. "Maybe that’s the only reason she still does it too!"

"How old is she?" B’Elanna asked.

"Old enough to know better," was all he would say.

Chakotay’s attention was gone from the dog as another figure came running towards them. This time B’Elanna did not draw her weapon as it was obvious that this female was human. The little girl ran straight into Chakotay’s arms where he swung her up into the air and around and around while her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. She, too, spoke to him in a language foreign to B’Elanna. This was going to be some dinner, she thought, if I can’t understand what anyone says, not even the dog.

"Melie, this is my friend B’Elanna," Chakotay said to the little girl. Now that she’d disengaged herself from Chakotay’s neck, Melie could see the other person. "B’Elanna, this is my niece, Melie." Was she just paranoid, or did the girl tightened her arms protectively around Chakotay? Geez, first Khia, now Melie! What did they think she was going to do, eat him for dinner?

But then B’Elanna’s fears proved to be nothing as the girl dropped to the ground and held out her hand.

"Pleased to meet you, B’Elanna," she said. When B’Elanna took the little hand, Melie went even further and gave the older woman a hug. Grabbing both Chakotay’s and B’Elanna’s hands she ran back in the direction from which she’d come, pulling the two of them along.

"Come on! Come on!"

*****

B’Elanna awoke suddenly, the sound of Chakotay’s little niece harping their arrival ringing in her ears. Inspecting her surroundings Torres remembered where she was. On Voyager. It had just been a dream. A dream of a memory long past, and judging from the pain in Chakotay’s eyes, one best forgotten. What was the point of dwelling on the past anyway? The future was where they should look. The present is what they should enjoy. The past should be sorted, boxed, labelled, and placed in a drawer to gather dust.

She lay back in bed wishing for sleep, but was soon disturbed by the sound of another child's cry.

*****

"A penny for your thoughts, Captain?" Chakotay asked, when it appeared that she had not heard most of his personnel report. She looked startled, as though he had pulled her back from some other place entirely. Some place, he suspected, not found in the Delta Quadrant.

"That’s an old expression, Chakotay," she commented, sidestepping his implied question. He said nothing. "I was thinking about … about home," she confessed after a moment of silence between them.

"I know," he put down the PADD. It was obviously not needed anymore.

"How did you know?" asked Janeway laughing a little. He smiled at her.

"You get a certain expression on your face. The Alpha Quadrant face. I’ve seen it before," he told her.

"Do you have one too?" she asked, teasing him, feeling a little vulnerable that he could have read her thoughts so easily.

"I don’t know. Do I?" he shot back at her. He looked at her intently.

"If we were home right now," Janeway snapped her fingers, "where would you go?"

Chakotay was surprised by the question. This kind of speculation was not usually Janeway’s style. Still, everyone got homesick now and again, even after all this time -- especially after all this time.

"Assuming that I’m not thrown into a Starfleet prison upon reentering the Quadrant ..." he began.

"Chakotay!" she said sharply. He merely shrugged.

"Don’t make promises that you cannot keep, Kathryn. That may be entirely out of your hands."

She said nothing so he continued with his speculation.

"Assuming I’m not in prison, I would go back to my home. If their village is still there, I would take my family and find them a new place, outside the realm of the Cardassians," he finished.

"You would relocate your family?" she asked, incredulous.

"Too many people have died already. It is better to stay alive, to stay together, than to live apart under threat of death all the time," was his quiet response.

Janeway regarded her First Officer thoughtfully. She hadn’t thought about it for a long time, but certainly she had considered that there was a portion of her crew for whom the Delta Quadrant held more promise. The Maquis crew, who faced imprisonment, Tom Paris, who had started a new life, Neelix and Kes, for whom the Delta Quadrant was home. Chakotay, as the leader of the Maquis, and therefore the one most likely to be prosecuted, she had always assumed to fall into this category. Certainly, he’d been able to adapt to the possibility of staying on New Earth with greater ease than she. But now, she was reevaluating his position. A family she hadn’t even known about waited for him back home. A family he’d fought fiercely to protect and would have continued to do so, had he not been dragged halfway across the galaxy.

"Captain?"

She was staring at him, she realized.

"My apologies, Commander," she said stiffly, ignoring the amusement in his eyes. "Please continue with your report."

*****

The tranquillity of the evening out of doors had not prepared B’Elanna for the noise that would meet them in Chakotay’s home. Bodies spilled out of the front door, with children clamoring to greet them, and his sisters throwing their arms around him in bear hugs. Everyone talking and talking and lifting their voices to be heard over the noise of the others. Words she couldn’t understand blended in with English; to B’Elanna’s relief they were mostly speaking a language she knew.

She stood apart from the crowd, watching as Chakotay made contact with all the others. And make contact is exactly what he did. There was not a person there who didn’t receive a warm hug, no child who went without being picked up, his hands touching them all as though to ensure for himself that they were really there.

She was jealous. Jealous of the contact that they were getting from him, when he usually held himself so far apart from everyone else. B’Elanna had never seen Chakotay so open and giving with his feelings, so quick to smile, to place a kiss on another’s check. And she was jealous that he had this love, to give and to receive, with this large family. B’Elanna recalled her own lonely family life and wondered bitterly what on earth had possessed her to accompany Chakotay home.

The initial greetings finished Chakotay pulled her into the crowd introducing her, telling her names she promptly forgot, explaining who was related to whom and which child belonged to which couple. In a whirlwind she found herself inside without any idea who anyone was, except for the elderly woman standing by the table. Her face, her demeanor was strangely familiar, but it wasn’t until well into the meal that B’Elanna realized why. Chakotay was very much like her. When it finally it her, B’Elanna had to stifle a fit of giggles, it was so obvious.

For now, she was placing a bowl of corn on a table laden with food. She stepped forward to greet her guest.

"As a friend of Chakotay’s you will always be welcome in this house," she said warmly, giving B’Elanna a kiss on her cheek. The simple, generous hospitality touched B’Elanna suddenly and she felt tears behind her eyes. Furious with this display of a weak emotion she rubbed her eyes.

"The dust is trying, isn’t it?" murmured Chakotay’s mother, looking at B’Elanna. B’Elanna knew that his mother had seen her tears, but was not acknowledging them, and for that she was grateful. Almost more grateful than for the food.

*****

"Settle down!" called Tom, "What’s the rush?"

"I’m hungry, isn’t that enough?" was B’Elanna’s reply. She remained ten meters ahead of him in the corridor. Tom was following at an easy pace, his walk gently rocking his new born son. Despite being handed a lengthy list of choices, the baby remained unnamed. Despite no longer eating for two, B’Elanna remained ravenous at meal times. He supposed it was some kind of Klingon thing.

B’Elanna finished her meal well ahead of Tom, who was at a disadvantage having started after her, and having to balance a baby in one arm. She fussed a little, impatiently watching him, then held out her arms without a word. Tom sighed and passed over the baby. It was a lot easier to eat with both hands free.

B’Elanna cooed a bit over the child singing something Tom couldn’t understand.

"A Klingon lullaby?" he asked. She looked up, a bit startled. She hadn’t realized he’d been listening that closely.

"No, it’s something I learned from … from Chakotay’s mother."

"Chakotay’s mother?" Tom nearly choked, and reached for his cup of water. The look he was getting was not sympathetic. "I … It’s just … I’m just surprised that’s all."

"I don’t know what it means," B’Elanna confessed, "probably something to do with food. With the harvest, I think. We’d have to ask him. He’d know."

"No doubt," agreed Tom, trying but failing to picture Chakotay as a baby with a mother singing him to sleep.

"You know, as a Maquis, I remember really valuing a good meal," B’Elanna said. "His mother was a great cook. I think I was hungry more often than not in those days, but after eating at her table I felt like I’d never have to eat again."

"I think there’s someone here who wants to eat as well," Tom commented, as the baby began to cry.

"I’ll take him back to our quarters," B’Elanna stood, edging her way around the table.

"Need any help?" asked Tom, with his mouth full.

"Unfortunately you’re not properly equipped," she shot at him, leaving. Tom watched her back with worried eyes.

*****

"I think Chakotay would live on corn, if he could!" his mother told the table laughing. Chakotay laughed along with her, dismissing the idea with a wave of his hand.

"Do you remember playing in the corn field….?" his older sister asked, with a sly grin.

"Stop! Stop!" Now he held up both hands. Then, to B’Elanna, "I know what’s coming with this."

"What happened?" B’Elanna asked his sister.

"He got lost," she said simply, her expression one of disbelief even after all these years.

"I don’t think we need to go into all the details," he warned, trying to look stern, but not quite succeeding.

They were still sitting at the table, with the food long cleared, telling news of the village, boasting of their children’s latest accomplishments, and finally swapping tales of Chakotay’s youth. B’Elanna was curious about this corn field but the telling of the story was interrupted by a voice in the shadows of the doorway.

"Is this a private party?" the teasing voice asked.

Chakotay’s mother looked so shocked B’Elanna thought she was going to drop the bowl of fruit she was bringing to the table. One of his sisters quickly brought her arms up to carry the bowl the final few feet.

"Leylo?" Chakotay squinted beyond the lantern on the table.

"The one and only!" The voice stepped forward into the light to reveal a young man, dressed in dusty clothes that had seen better days. Despite the lightness of his tone, he looked to be exhausted, and on his cheek was a nasty bruise.

B’Elanna stared. His hair was long, well past his shoulders, but aside from that she might have been looking at a copy of Chakotay. Right down to the tattoo over his left eye. There was something different about this version though, and not just the youth.

Chakotay had stood from the table to go to his brother, still in shock at his presence.

"How … how …" he stuttered.

"Come now, you don’t think I’d let a few Cardassians stop me from coming home for dinner, did you?"

Chakotay put a hand on the young man’s shoulder, another touch to ensure he was actually conversing with his brother, and not a ghost conjured up from their stories. The younger man nearly crumpled then, falling forward into Chakotay’s arms. Holding him gently, Chakotay sat down on the floor, careful not to jar his brother’s almost certainly broken bones.

The silence of the table was far more deafening than the clamor of the voices just moments before.

*****

"Post what? Post what?" asked Tom, shaking his head, bewildered.

"Post partum depression," repeated the Doctor slowly, with a tone that asked why were humans so unable to grasp the simple things. "It’s not that uncommon, especially for someone like Lieutenant Torres."

"What’s that supposed to mean?" snapped Tom.

"I meant," said the Doctor, not at all impressed with Tom’s tone, "that women of mixed physiologies seem to suffer more frequently from it."

Tom digested this thoughtfully and figured it made sense. Sort of.

"So what can we do?" he asked, ever a man of action.

"It is easily treatable. The hardest part of this will be getting her to admit to it, and come to see me for help."

For once Tom was in complete agreement with the Doctor.

*****

It turned out that Leylo’s health was better than at first appeared. After sending one of the children scurrying for a doctor, Chakotay had carried his brother into the house to lay him gently on a bed.

"Brother, wait until I tell you of my escape," he was saying but Chakotay laid a finger on the other man’s lips.

"Not now. There will be enough time for that later."

Leylo had nodded in agreement, reaching up to clasp Chakotay’s hand with a surprisingly strong grip. Chakotay’s expression was mixed between amazement, love, and anger. Always anger, B’Elanna realized. Like the ever-present tension he held in his back, there was invariably anger smoldering behind his eyes. Maybe it had been overshadowed by some laughter this evening, but it had never really disappeared.

"What happened?" she asked him, in a low voice.

"Cardassians!" he spat out, as though no further explanation was required. She was about to respond in kind, after all, she had a fair degree of hatred for them burning in her too, but Leylo stopped her.

"Ever been to Cardassia II?" he asked. Chakotay hung his head.

"No," admitted B’Elanna, who had no intention of ever going to Cardassia II.

"My brother has," said Leylo, almost with pride, "and I’ve just come back from there. It’s a long journey…" His voice trailed off.

The doctor arrived then, breathlessly, being pulled in by the little messenger sent to get him. Chakotay stood to move away, but Leylo’s grip held him fast.

"Don’t go, Chakotay," he whispered, so his older brother nodded and remained in the room.

B’Elanna returned to the main room, where the festive feeling from the meal remained. His injuries would heal, the important thing was that Leylo had returned. And returned from a place not many leave.

B’Elanna was a little amused by the family dynamics. Leylo, although the baby in his family, still had younger cousins who worshipped him. Who could blame them their adoration, when he had come back from the dead? And all those nieces and nephews who’d milled around the older son earlier, were abuzz with the glory of the younger son’s return.

Chakotay’s mother remained alone, in her chair, with tears slowly running down her weathered face. 'Tears of joy?' B’Elanna wondered, 'Or tears of gratitude?' What must it be like for this woman, to have her sons walk forward in a life so close to death? What must it be like to live in a settlement on the precipice of Cardassian annexation?

It didn’t take very long, a tribute to either the doctor’s skill, or Leylo’s youth, before the two brothers appeared in the room again. The doctor quietly slipped out, after receiving thanks from Chakotay and his mother. His thanks from Leylo was in the cocky stride of the young man, who’d cheated death and would do so again.

"Anything to eat around here? Or did you eat everything in the house, Chakotay?"

Both Chakotay and his mother managed a nervous laugh at that; Leylo regarding them with amusement in his eyes. B’Elanna could hardly believe this was the same man who’d collapsed in Chakotay’s arms less than an hour ago.

"I think we can find something for you," his mother told him. As she stood, he pulled her into a gentle hug, whispering to her,

"We’re all here now, mother. All safe and sound."

*****

Janeway had been so deep in thought she didn’t hear her door chime until it had gone three times.

"Come in!" she called finally. The door opened to reveal Commander Chakotay, who stood awkwardly in the corridor for a moment and then stepped inside her quarters, keeping his hands behind his back.

"Commander!" Janeway rose to greet him. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you’d be interested in going for a walk with me," he said, with a neutral tone.

"I’d be delighted!" she exclaimed, with more enthusiasm than she’d shown for days. In fact, her eagerness surprised Chakotay, showing plainly on his face. "What an expression! Did you think I would say no?" she asked, as she put a hand on his arm to steer him from the room.

"Er, no, not exactly," he said, "I guess I just didn’t expect you to be so excited."

"Where are we going?" she asked, as they stood just outside her door. His confidence restored by her enthusiasm, he held out his hand which she took.

"We are going to Dorvan V," he told her, "so you can see for yourself the home I think of when I get my Alpha Quadrant face."

*****

If B’Elanna had been amused by the stories around the table prior to Leylo’s arrival, she was howling with laughter over some of the tales Chakotay's little brother shared. Eating quickly the meal his mother placed before him, he proceeded to embarrass Chakotay thoroughly by pulling out some childhood memories even his sisters had forgotten. Chakotay sat back, with two small children asleep in his arms, not saying much, but smiling at his brother and chuckling occasionally.

"Oh please!" gasped B’Elanna, "I can’t take anymore. My sides are aching!"

"I think your memory is flawed," Chakotay told Leylo, who put on an expression of mock hurt.

"I think I remember it just as it was." Leylo winked at B'Elanna.

She was beginning to realize the differences between them. Although he looked like a younger version of her friend, Leylo had an easygoing open manner that was quite apart from Chakotay's closed, withdrawn personality. He had a certain sunny charm about him that was in direct contrast to his brother's somberness. B'Elanna bet he didn't hold any tension in his shoulders. She could hardly believe he had a care in the world.

She could hardly believe he just escaped from a Cardassian prison camp.

That was not a story for young ears, however, and so he contented himself with memories of funny times gone by. B'Elanna was somewhat relieved to hear that Chakotay hadn't always been so serious, in fact, he had nurtured his sense of humour from a very young age.

The hour was growing late. Chakotay's mother sat, brushing out the hair of her granddaughter. B'Elanna watched, envious of the girl's innocent beauty. As the brush stroked through the long dark hair, grandmother sang softly. The girl's eyes were beginning to droop. It wasn't every day that Uncle Chakotay came for dinner, even less frequent that Leylo was here at the same time. But fatigue won in the end and the girl was soon asleep against her grandmother's legs.

B'Elanna hardly realized her own eyes were closing until she felt Chakotay's hand on her arm.

"Time we go, B'Elanna?" he asked her.

"I don't want to," she confessed, yawning. He brushed his hand down her hair in a totally natural gesture, but one she'd never expected from him.

"I know."

Around them Chakotay's siblings and relatives were collecting their sleeping children and quietly departing. His mother clasped their hands as she bade farewell and let them into the night. Only Leylo would remain with her.

"Your brother," whispered B'Elanna, "don't you want to talk to him?"

"I already did," he told her, "while we were with the doctor."

He reached out an arm to help her to her feet. All the others had left by now; only his brother and mother remained by the door.

"Thank you mother," he said, bending to give her a kiss. She pulled him into a motherly embrace.

"Stay safe, my son," she said into his ear. He nodded, his eyes somber.

"Little brother," Chakotay said, turning to grasp Leylo's arm. "What can I say to you, Leylo? Take care of yourself."

"I always do," he replied, easily, his eyes twinkling. Leylo winked at B'Elanna. "You take care of my brother for me. I worry about him when I'm not around to look after him."

"I will," B'Elanna promised.

*****

Chakotay's program did not include any holocharacters, it was only a depiction of his family's village on Dorvan V. He'd felt too awkward about inserting into the program people he knew, as though the town were inhabited by ghosts. But the holodeck did justice to the look of the buildings, the dust under their boots, even the sound of the wind seemed authentic.

"Chakotay, this is remarkable!" Kathryn marvelled. She stood apart from him, turning in a circle to examine their surroundings.

"I'm glad you like it," he said, amused.

"Is this where you grew up?" she asked, thinking of her own family home in Indiana.

"That's my mother's house over there," he pointed.

Janeway walked in the direction he'd indicated. They stood outside the house for a moment. Chakotay seemed reluctant to go in, and Janeway did not want to explore on her own.

"Over there are the fields," he pointed again. "Corn, mostly, but some others."

"No wonder you're so fond of corn," she said with a smile. He smiled shyly in return.

"And I used to climb on those cliffs."

Janeway turned to follow his arm. The rocks above the village jutted out in an imposing manner.

"Whenever I wanted to get away, whenever I wanted to hide from something, or someone, I used to climb up there. I could spend hours just looking down on the village."

Janeway turned back around to face him, a slow smile spreading across her face.

"Is that where we're going now, Chakotay?"

He didn't answer, merely gestured for her to join him in his walk. They strolled in silence together until they reached the fields.

Chakotay reached out to touch the corn plants. The very smell of them was pulling him back into memories of home. He should have left the smell out of the program; it was far too real.

"My brother and I used to play hide-and-go-seek in the corn," he told Janeway, with a sad smile.

Janeway stopped walking, almost holding her breath. Was he going to talk about his family? Now?

"Great training for flying through the badlands," he added grimly.

"Chakotay were all your family members rebels?" she asked. Looking around his home settlement, she could almost understand the fierce protectiveness that had turned him into a terrorist.

He thought for a moment.

"I suppose we were. My sisters..." he looked over at the Captain suddenly, then shook his head with a grin, "I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore if you’re collecting evidence."

Janeway was hurt, although she could certainly see why he might think twice about telling her information about the Maquis. But did he think so little of her that he believed she was gathering material for a prosecution? Before she could protest he continued.

"My sisters provided safe houses. They gathered food, clothing; those kind of provisions. Two of my brothers-in-law were in "active" service. My other one was a farmer."

"And Leylo?" inquired Janeway, "Was he a warrior, or a farmer?"

"He was a warrior who should have stayed a farmer," Chakotay said, thoughtfully, "but Leylo’s not Maquis anymore."

The wind picked up slightly then, blowing loose trails of Janeway’s hair into her face. She brushed them aside with an idle hand. For a second she thought she heard the sound of children’s laughter in the field, just next to where she stood. Looking through the corn stalks the images of two boys chasing each other flashed by. Had Chakotay programmed ghosts into this scene as well? No, she must be imagining things. She glanced at him but he apparently hadn’t heard the sound. He seemed lost in thought.

"He was a good farmer. He could make anything grow. And he had the devil’s own luck, even as a child. *Especially* as a child."

They continued walking then, out of the corn and to a narrow path, barely discernable, that led up to the cliffs.

"Are you close in age?" asked Janeway, after enough time had passed that she felt it necessary to continue the conversation.

"Not really. Well, my sisters and I are, but Leylo came along 9 years after I did." Chakotay paused to lean back and offer his hand to steady Janeway on the rocky path. "Of course, my parents wanted a big family, lots of sons. Many sons bring honour and prestige to the household. I think I was a disappointment to them from the start, mostly because I was followed by two girls! Watch your step!"

Janeway stopped to examine their path and once again brush away her hair.

"Surely you don’t really think that," she admonished him. He smiled.

"No," he admitted, "but there were lots of ceremonies, lots of prayers, lots of offerings to the spirits, to the ancestors, to the earth, to the sky...a *lot* of effort before Leylo came into our lives. And when he did, it was like a tiny miracle had been placed in our hands."

"He sounds well worth the wait," Janeway commented. He squeezed her hand.

"My mother used to say that Leylo was laughter in a human form. Nothing in the world could upset him. I remember..." Chakotay hesitated, then proceded, with his story-telling voice. Janeway loved to hear his stories.

"One time, I was going climbing with my friends. We wanted to get to a river that is just beyond those hills, to go fishing. Leylo tagged along after me wanting to come too, but I told him he was too young, he’d only slow us down. He didn’t make a fuss, just stood and watched us leave. And then decided to follow me. He was doing fairly well, until he tripped and fell, just there," Chakotay pointed to a spot below where they now were. "He broke his leg and cracked open his head. It might have been really serious if Khia, my dog, hadn’t alerted me."

Here Chakotay paused, in stride and in story, as his mind’s eye saw the dog standing over the spot where Leylo had fallen, barking, barking, barking...

"Khia!" called out the 14-year-old impatiently, "Khia! Come on!"

But the dog refused to budge, whining and barking and pawing in the dust.

Chakotay trotted back down the path to collect his dog, muttering angrily. Now he was going to be far behind the others. First Leylo now this!

Chakotay, the man, standing next to his Captain 70 light years away from his home, still remembered the feeling of seeing Leylo’s little body sprawled out down from the cliff. He still remembered pitching himself down the path, half sliding half running, his hands and legs scraping on the rough edges of rock. He looked down at his hands now, almost expecting to see the blood from the cuts. Janeway watched him, curiously at first and then with some concern.

"But he was alright?" she prodded. He must have been, for B’Elanna to meet him all those years later.

"When I got him home there was such a fuss! The doctor, my mother ... my father blaming me for not watching out for him. He was fine! He opened his eyes, looked at me and asked if I’d caught any fish! Yes, he was quite alright. *I* was the one who was falling apart."

And Chakotay saw himself, as a teenager, sitting by the back door of his home, his sore arms around the neck of his dog, his face buried in her fur, his heart pounding... Khia licking his face in an attempt to comfort him but he would not be comforted.

*****

B'Elanna found the silence in the shuttle oppressive after all the chatter of the evening. Chakotay seemed lost in thought but she couldn't stand listening to the sound of the computer console any longer.

"What happened to your brother?"

Chakotay stirred out of his reverie with a jerk. His hands played uselessly over the controls. It was just nervous energy.

"Leylo has more lives than a house full of cats," he finally said.

"If he's in the Maquis, why don't you keep him close at hand? A few lucky cats might be a good thing for us."

"Leylo works to his own agenda," Chakotay said shortly.

"Look, if you don't want to talk about it..." B'Elanna began, a little annoyed at how quickly Chakotay seemed to have withdrawn into himself again. Where was that laughing, loving man from dinner?

"No, I'm sorry," he looked at her, his eyes troubled. "It's just that....well...Leylo has always been a very....a very happy person. And it upsets me to see what's happened to him."

"He seemed to be pretty happy with himself this evening," B'Elanna commented, "At least, once the doctor got some pain killers into him."

"Leylo was always the one to laugh at himself. He was just happy. Nothing ever bothered him, nothing made him angry. He was content to work the land and stay at home....No Starfleet Academy for my brother!"

"That must have been a comfort to your parents," B'Elanna said, knowing how much Chakotay's Starfleet career had cost him with his relationship with his father.

He laughed shortly.

"Oh yes, Leylo was the perfect son in many ways. Always there to honour our father. Always ready to uphold traditional ways. My parents thought he was terrific. He thought he was invincible...." There was no malice in his voice. Chakotay did not begrudge his brother the relationship with their father that he'd never had.

"He never did anything in halves either," Chakotay continued after a pause. "When he fell in love it was as though she'd put the sun up in the sky just to shine on him. And when she died it was as though that sun had crashed into the earth never to rise again."

B'Elanna glanced up from the shuttle's controls.

"Let me guess: Cardassians?"

Chakotay nodded grimly.

"She was on a transport coming back from an agricultural exchange. She had their baby with her. A little boy....Leylo, he went crazy. I've never seen anyone so embittered with grief. Being in the Maquis wasn't enough for him. He wants to see every Cardassian dead. Sometimes I think maybe he wants to die too...."

"Chakotay, suicidal men do not break out of prison," B'Elanna pointed out.

"No, I suppose not." He looked away from her, out the viewport. "But one of these days there won't be anymore lives for him to steal, and then his recklessness will catch up to him."

*****

Tom woke up with the feeling that something was wrong. Instinct kicked in and he immediately took stock of those around him most dear. First of all, where was B'Elanna? A quick pat on the open space next to him on the bed told him she wasn't there. Through the fuzziness of sleep he stood and made his way over to where the baby slept.

There was B'Elanna standing over the crib, watching their son.

"No one sleepy?" asked Tom, yawning, after noticing that the baby was also awake.

B'Elanna shook her head. Her response surprised him.

"No wonder he hated you so much."

"I beg your pardon?" Tom wondered if he'd heard her correctly.

"Chakotay. No wonder he hated you so much."

Now Tom reached out to grasp her shoulders, turning her gently to face him. He wondered if she might still be asleep and dreaming. She squirmed away from him and went back to watching the baby.

"You were a mercenary, fighting for latinum. You had no sense of moral duty to the cause. You had not lost family members to the enemy."

"B'Elanna!" Tom was at a loss for how to respond. She reached into the crib to give their son a finger to hold onto. Tom placed a hand on her head, brushing her hair away from her face with his fingers. "B'Elanna, I think maybe you should talk with the Doctor."

"The Doctor? Whatever for?" She turned towards him, lightly pushing her cheek into his hand.

"There's some kind of depression that's common for new mothers, but he said that..."

"Tom," she interrupted, "Tom, I'm not depressed. What on earth gave you the idea that I was depressed?!"

"It's just that you haven't been yourself lately, you've been so quiet and moody and well, usually when you get moody you get loud and you've been so reluctant to name the baby and ...."

"Tom," she place a hand over his mouth to stop him. "I'm not depressed. I've just been caught up in an old memory that's making me sad, that's all."

"What memory?" he whispered, a little hurt that she hadn't shared this with him.

"It's silly really," she laughed softly. "It's just....I'm remembering a time I visited Chakotay's family on Dorvan V just before .... "

"If it makes you so unhappy then why are you thinking about it?" Tom's forehead creased with a frown. She brought her fingers up to smooth out the lines.

"It's actually a very happy memory. His family were very kind to me."

"I don't understand," Tom confessed. "If it is a happy memory, then why are you sad?"

*****

B'Elanna happened to be with Chakotay when the transmission came. The screen was not working properly causing the Gul's face to look even more sinister.

"Chakotay," he said, calmly, like it was every day that a Cardassian made a transmission to the Maquis ship.

"What do you what?" asked Chakotay, shortly, wary. He could think of a dozen reasons for the Gul to contact him, all of them bad ones.

"I have a visitor who is *dying* to reach you." The Gul's voice was deceptively silky.

B'Elanna saw Chakotay's fists clench, what she did not see was his heart leap to his throat. He did not reply to the Gul. The screen flickered slightly and then another figure was visible. B'Elanna gasped.

Leylo was on his knees, his face so badly beaten as to be barely recognizable. He was in chains, his head pushed upwards as the guard behind him pulled on his hair. Looking into his eyes, so much like Chakotay's, B'Elanna saw defiance, hatred, and fear. The easygoing happy-go-lucky charmer from that dinner was long gone. She suspected he'd been long gone for some time, and that his appearance all those months ago had been merely an act.

Chakotay still said nothing, his face like a mask. Only his eyes showed any emotion, as they bore through the viewscreen to Leylo. Some communication was passed between the brothers, B'Elanna was sure of it. She had to be.

"Nothing to say?" asked the Gul with mock regret. "Ah well..." He snapped his fingers. Another guard appeared from out of the gloom behind Leylo and handed the Gul a knife. Chakotay tensed but still did not react.

"Cut the transmission!" he ordered B'Elanna quietly. Her fingers flew to comply but the Cardassian had jammed their communications in such a manner as to make it difficult.

B'Elanna glanced back at the screen and immediately wished she hadn't. The Gul stepped behind Leylo and with one swift vicious motion, cut the young man's throat. Chakotay reached out and gripped the back of his chair for support. Leylo let out a cry of pain but then, so quickly, it was over. All over but the blood on the Gul's knife which he held like a prize before Chakotay.

"Cut the transmission!!" roared Chakotay.

"I can't!" she cried, "It's not working!"

"Still nothing to say, Cha-ko-tay?"

Chakotay couldn't seem to take his eyes off the body of his brother. Just as the Gul opened his mouth to speak again B'Elanna managed to end the transmission. And watched as Chakotay fell onto his own knees. She reached out to touch his shoulder only to have him throw her off angrily.

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!" he kept saying over and over again. Rocking back and forth with his arms wrapped around himself as though he was cold he chanted something B'Elanna didn't recognize.

Not to be easily deterred, she went slowly to him, and, crouching down on the floor, she pulled him to her, hoping to absorb some of his grief. The room was quiet except for the ragged sound of his breathing.

*****

They had reached the top of the cliffs now and were looking down over the village. Chakotay seemed lost in memories; Janeway watched him. He did have an Alpha Quadrant face, she decided.

"The closest we ever came to fighting was when that damned treaty was signed," Chakotay said suddenly, shifting his gaze over to the Captain. She looked down at her hands.

"That damned treaty," she repeated softly.

A tired Chakotay felt some resentment that his brother, a mere *child*, could hold against him the Starfleet uniform he wore. He remembered bitterly that there had once been a time Leylo had looked up to him. Not hero worship, per se, but a comfortable love that declared proudly "I want to be just like my brother!" to the world. He scowled. Leylo grinned at him. Chakotay scowled some more.

"Chakotay," Leylo said, in a let’s be reasonable voice, "how can you possibly agree to this? It is a travesty of justice!"

Unlike their father, whose voice took on the tones of a religious leader when declaring the injustices of the world, Leylo sounded more or less the way he usually did. They might have been discussing crop rotation for the passion in his tone. He didn’t hold the treaty against Chakotay personally, he just couldn’t understand how his brother could even think for one little minute that it was right.

If possible, Chakotay’s scowl deepened.

"There is no use talking to that one," said their father wearily. "His ears are elsewhere."

‘That was really unfair,’ thought Chakotay bitterly, ‘not once, not ONCE had either of them even attempted to see things from *his* point of view.’ After all, Starfleet didn’t equal the Federation in all respects.

When Chakotay refused to respond, father sighed and left the room. ‘You have disappointed me yet again, Chakotay,’ he might as well have said aloud.

Leylo watched his departure with amused eyes. He’d always found the friction between his brother and father to be inexplicable. How was it possible that the two people he cared most about could be at odds so often? After their father was gone, he leaned across the table to his brother.

"Chakotay, it’s just us now. No Starfleet around except your uniform. Tell me the truth! You don’t agree with them do you?"

Chakotay’s dark eyes met with their mirror in Leylo’s face.

"Leylo you have *no* idea what a war with Cardassia would mean. It would be unimaginably horrifying..."

He didn’t get much further because Leylo’s eyes stopped laughing and grew somber. It was as serious as Chakotay had ever seen his brother. The passion lacking earlier now came through the urgency of his voice.

"Chakotay, with this treaty we *are* at war with Cardassia. We *are* at war! And without the protection of the great and mighty ‘fleet! Now that *is* horrifying!"

"You really don’t understand," Chakotay tried again. It was a losing battle. He was not fully able to argue for a side he couldn’t believe. But Leylo cut him off once more.

"Who is going to protect us when they come, Chakotay? You? You will be far from here, on Earth, teaching minds how to fight, but not allowing them to participate."

"Dammit Leylo!" Anger burst forth then, spilling over in Chakotay making him raise his voice. "This is not some kind of GAME we’re talking about here. This is WAR!"

"This is war," Leylo agreed calmly, but still serious, "and this is death, and this is the destruction of our home."

Chakotay left the room then, unwilling to continue their disagreement. It was bad enough to fight against the treaty while in San Francisco, but to come home and have to fight for it was unbearable. Why did he always feel so on the defensive around his family? And if he took off his uniform, he felt like he was an imposter, sneaking back home in civilian clothing, pretending that his life on Earth did not exist. Always the guilt of having been a disappointment to his father dampened any happiness he sought.

How could he tell Leylo that the treaty was the lesser of two evils when he didn’t believe it himself?

Janeway didn’t know what to say. It was becoming more and more obvious to her that Chakotay’s past was more complicated than she’d thought. But why should she have thought otherwise? He was a complex man. And as she looked down on the village of his youth, she tried to imagine if Indiana were in the DMZ what she might have felt when the Federation signed that treaty with Cardassia.

Betrayal? That wouldn’t have even come close.

"I couldn’t protect them in Starfleet," Chakotay said softly, "I couldn’t even protect them in the Maquis. But at least in the Maquis I could be sure that their deaths were not forgotten statistics. Casualties of ‘peace at any cost’ diplomacy." He shifted his weight to lean towards her, giving her a grin. "And I guess I was doing a fairly good job, or you never would have come after me."

"Chakotay," Janeway said, with a smile, "you are always very good at what you do. Your vast hidden talents never cease to amaze me."

"Pretty soon you’ll know all my secrets, Kathryn." He reached over to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, his hand lingering along her jaw. She brought up her own hand to take his.

"I doubt that, Chakotay, I doubt that very much."

*****

"Finally!" Harry exclaimed. "So. What's it going to be? Harold?"

"No, no," Lieutenant Carey chimed in, "Joseph, right? Joseph is what you've chosen."

B'Elanna glanced around the room catching Chakotay's eye as he walked by.

"What's this I hear you've finally named your baby?" he asked, with a smile.

"Took long enough!" snorted Harry.

"Hey!" Tom protested. "These are delicate matters!"

"Well?" asked the Captain, who had also joined them. "Please don't keep us in any more suspense!"

"Leylo," said B'Elanna, "Leylo Owen Paris."

Chakotay's surprise was evident but he said nothing. Nothing aloud that is. His eyes spoke to B'Elanna as surely as if he'd mouthed the words.

"Thank you."

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