Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. No copyright infringement is intended.
Series: One Little Kiss, part V
Please do not post or distribute this story without the author's permission.
******
The wine was chilling. The turkey was roasting. My friends each had a beer or cocktail or soda and were all relaxing and munching on appetizers. Everything was ready, except for there being one wayward, tardy guest.
Jack, of course.
It was Thanksgiving and I'd decided to have everyone to dinner at my place. The nature of our work didn't always allow us to celebrate holidays properly so I thought it would be nice to do so since SG-1 was off-duty.
I checked on the turkey, turned the temperature of the oven down a bit and tried to remember for what other reason I'd come into the kitchen. Oh, right, wineglasses for dinner. I got the glassware from the cupboard and placed them on the table. Okay, so I had plates, cutlery, wineglasses, salt and pepper; it looked like everything was set.
When I'd been shopping for groceries all the glossy magazine covers at the check-out had shown tables arrayed for Thanksgiving dinners with cornucopia horns overflowing with a bounty of autumn fruit or multi-coloured gourds serving as candle holders or soup bowls or something. My dinner party wasn't anywhere near as elaborate. I didn't even have a centerpiece on the table.
What I did have at my Thanksgiving dinner that I was pretty certain no other American could boast of were three aliens on my guest list.
Best Homes magazine, eat your heart out.
Janet had come with Cassie, and Teal'c was here, and Daniel too of course. I'd also invited Karaya and she'd been thrilled to have the opportunity to see a bit more of Earth off the base and to experience one of our cultural traditions. Everyone had been here for a while. Jack had been late as of about an hour ago.
He'd had to make a last minute trip to Corran earlier in the day, to help iron out one of the bumps in the road to an alliance that we'd been encountering with our new friends. I'd called the base about half an hour before and was informed Jack had returned from Corran, so I wasn't worried anything bad had befallen him. I just didn't know where on this earth he was.
I opened the fridge to grab myself a beer. I could give Jack a further half-hour before I'd have to start the final preparations for dinner.
The doorbell buzzed just as I'd taken the cap off my beer. I put the bottle down on the counter and went to let Jack in.
"I'm here!" he greeted me. Then he added in a more conciliatory tone, "I'm sorry I'm late. Things on Corran took longer than I'd bargained for."
"No problem," I said. "Is everything okay there?"
"Maybe not. But I can't get into that now."
I understood. Either it was too long of an explanation, or it was as story he didn't want to tell with Karaya in the next room.
Jack leaned down to remove his shoes, handing me one plastic shopping bad and dropping another behind him as he did. I hadn't noticed he'd been carrying the bags as I'd been too busy noticing how good he looked in his black jeans and cream coloured sweater with a black t-shirt sticking out from underneath. And he was all mine, except for the fact that I couldn't touch him. It really was a cruel world.
"What's this?" I asked, opening the bag I was holding to peer inside even as I spoke the words.
Jack stood up drawing my attention back to him. "Well, as you may recall, I was responsible for bringing dessert tonight. Funnily enough, it's near to impossible to find a store that's open on Thanksgiving Day. That's why I'm so late."
"Because you were trying to find dessert? You didn't have to do that." I shook my head.
"I said I would."
"What did you end up getting?" I opened up the bag again and inside I found two frozen apple pies and two pints of a fancy brand of ice cream.
"Those are gourmet pies," Jack pointed out. "Says so right on the box."
I grinned. "And premium ice cream." He gave me a lopsided smile in return as we stood there looking at each other for a moment.
"What's in the other bag," I asked finally, nodding toward it.
"Something for you." He took the bag I'd been holding and exchanged it for the other one.
I looked inside the bag and smiled. Reaching into it I drew forth a perfect little bouquet of flowers. There were white and yellow daisies and purple and gold snapdragons, all beautiful spring flowers he'd somehow managed to find on a cold November day.
"No red roses," I said, smiling up at him again.
"Nah. I think you got some of those already." His voice was low and flowed over me like a caress.
I did, of course, have a dozen red roses. When those flowers he'd bought for me at the restaurant that night had just started to look like they'd soon wilt I'd carefully hung them up to dry and preserve them. Now the dried arrangement sat in a crystal vase on the table beside my bed. When I was at home I saw them every night before I went to sleep and every morning when I awoke. I saw them and I thought of him.
"Thank you," I said quietly. "They're beautiful."
"So are you," Jack replied.
Our gazes locked. I don't know what I was thinking; more likely I wasn't thinking at all, because I found myself leaning in towards him. My lips parted and my head tilted upward. Slowly, our eyes not breaking contact, he lowered his head toward me. He was so close I could feel a rush of his warm breath on my face. I closed my eyes. And then...
"Sam! Is that Jack who's finally shown up?" Daniel yelled from the living room.
Jack and I quite literally jumped apart. "Yes it is!" I called out to Daniel. Then I turned back to Jack whose face showed a mixture of regret and something else. Annoyance perhaps? Annoyance that Daniel had interrupted our almost-kiss, or annoyance with himself that he'd almost let it happen? I was feeling a combination of both emotions myself.
"I'd better put these in water." I indicated the flowers in my hands. "Go on in to the living room."
As I disappeared into the kitchen I heard a chorus of hellos welcoming Jack. I found a vase for the flowers, filled it with water and set it in the centre of the table. There. The flowers looked great.
I had to smile. Jack could be so sweet. It was the little things he did that were so endearing. I hoped he knew how much his gestures were appreciated when I couldn't show him. When I couldn't kiss him. What had almost happened by the door should not have happened. It couldn't happen.
Turning back to the kitchen I saw the object of my thoughts standing in the entryway from the hall holding the other plastic bag he'd brought.
"Might want to get this ice cream in the freezer so we're not drinking it with our dessert."
I snatched the bag from him. "Beer?" I offered.
"Sure."
After I'd gotten him his drink I took a sip from my own previously abandoned beverage. Then, with Jack leaning up against the counter watching me, I checked on the turkey. It was done so I pulled it out of the oven.
Jack half helped and half hindered my efforts to get dinner on the table. He did a fine job when I asked him to put some pickles on a dish and scoop the cranberry jelly into a bowl. He volunteered to carve the turkey while I made the gravy, which was fine until he started hovering behind me reaching over my shoulder to dip little pieces of turkey into the bubbling gravy.
"Hey, no sampling before the cook gets to try it!" I admonished him.
"I'm just making sure the cook makes the gravy right. It's very important you know."
"Maybe the cook would have better luck at if it you weren't distracting her."
"I think the cook's managing to do a pretty good job. Here, see what you think."
Jack's arm snaked around me again to dip another piece of turkey in the gravy, and then he brought it up to my lips. He was standing very close behind me, so close that I could feel him there even though we weren't quite touching.
I opened my mouth and took the proffered piece of food, inadvertently catching his fingertip with my lips as I did so. He kept his hand near my face and began to stroke my cheek with his thumb.
"No, don't," I whispered shakily. "Please."
Jack snatched his hand back and stepped away from me. "You're right. I'm sorry," he apologized.
I pivoted around to face him, knowing my expression was painted with my regret.
"It's so damned hard," Jack said. "This...us..." He shook his head. "I didn't think it would be so hard."
Neither had I. "But what can we do?" I didn't expect an answer.
Jack shrugged and looked down at his feet. Then he lifted his head to again meet my eyes.
"I could try to stop being so irresistible," he deadpanned.
That made me laugh and I felt a great deal of tension drain from me.
"Don't you have a turkey you should be slicing," I said, smiling and threatening him with my wooden spoon.
"Yes ma'am." Jack saluted with an affectionate grin.
We'd just returned to our respective tasks when Janet, with Cassie and Karaya on her heels, came into the kitchen.
"Can we help?" she offered.
"Yes," I said. "You can come and help me." I pointed to Janet. "You and you," I indicated Cassie and Karaya, "can help by getting the colonel out of here."
"Hey!" Jack exclaimed. "I've been helping!" Cassie and Karaya both giggled and each took one of Jack's hands to lead him, still protesting, out of the kitchen.
I rolled my eyes at Janet, who turned out to be of infinitely more help.
******
The wine was poured, the turkey was carved; we were seated around the table.
"Happy Thanksgiving," I said, raising my glass in a toast.
The wish was echoed back to me along with a chorus of clinking glasses. Then we dug in to the holiday repast.
"Major Carter," Teal'c spoke up, "would you oblige in explaining the significance of this 'Thanksgiving' holiday to me?"
"Teal'c!" Janet said in surprise. "Are you saying you've been living on Earth for four years now and you don't know what Thanksgiving is?"
"We have never before gathered in its celebration," the Jaffa advised with his customary impassivity.
Jack paused with a forkful of food en route to his mouth. "I told you what Thanksgiving was."
"O'Neill told me Thanksgiving was a day on which the American Tau'ri 'eat a lot and sometimes watch football'. I do not believe that to be sufficient explanation."
Janet, Daniel and I exchanged bemused grins. Jack shrugged and ate his turkey.
"Thanksgiving was the day the pilgrims gave thanks for finding freedom in the New World," Cassie piped up.
"Who are the pilgrims? From what world are they?" Karaya asked, always inquisitive.
"Oh, they weren't from another world; they were from this one," Daniel put forth. " A few hundred years ago there was a sect of people from across the Atlantic Ocean who were persecuted because of their religious beliefs. A group of them fled to come and settle on the North American continent and were termed pilgrims for making the journey. North America was considered the 'New World' as at the time it was just starting to be settled by Europeans."
Karaya listened attentively to Daniel's explanation, alternately nodding and frowning as he spoke.
"Why were they persecuted for their religious beliefs?" Karaya asked. "Did they worship false gods? Or did the others?"
"Actually they worshipped the same God," Daniel related. "They just had differences of opinion about doctrine."
"And they were persecuted for that? By their own people?"
"Yes."
Karaya looked shocked. "Does this still happen on your world?"
"Unfortunately, yes," admitted Daniel.
"You fight each other, even though you are all of the same planet, even though you are aware there are greater oppressors in the universe such as the Goa'uld?" Karaya was shaking her head. The turn of conversation seemed to be upsetting her quite a bit. I thought about changing the subject but she did deserve to know about Earth and its people if we were to be allies. She deserved to be aware of our good points and our bad.
"Well, the general populace isn't exactly aware that there is such a thing as the Stargate or that there is life on other planets out there," Daniel said.
"But why not? Wouldn't that knowledge help to unify all the people of Earth?"
"Yeah, you'd think," Jack muttered.
"We're not a perfect people," I told Karaya. "We still have a lot of growing to do and there are many who would not understand or who would fear interaction with people from other planets. For the time being it's been deemed safer for our Stargate travel to remain a secret. It's done for the benefit of our world at large."
"Maybe you should never have ventured out through the Stargate," Karaya said quietly. "Maybe nor should we."
"If they hadn't, they wouldn't have found me," Cassie put in. "Or Teal'c."
"I wouldn't have met Sha're," Daniel pronounced.
"We wouldn't have met the Tok'ra, who saved my dad," I contributed.
"Or the Asguard, who saved our butts," Jack added. " 'Course we returned the favour with them." He smiled at me.
"Then there's a few races we would rather not have met," Daniel said.
The conversation drifted into less somber waters then, but Karaya remained quiet and contemplative for the remainder of the evening.
******
After gourmet apple pie and premium ice cream, coffee, some general relaxing and digesting of a filling meal, my guests had eventually departed. All except Jack, that is, who seemed firmly ensconced on my sofa.
I was about to pick up a few stray glasses from the end table and bring them into the kitchen when he grabbed my hand.
"Come sit with me. This is a good movie." He pulled on my hand to bring me down onto the couch beside him.
I didn't protest. I was tired and I didn't mind putting my feet up for a moment. Which I did.
Jack slipped his arm around my shoulders. I really didn't mean to, but I stiffened at his touch.
"It's all right," he said soothingly, his brown eyes without guile. "I just want to sit here with you. Is that okay?"
I let out a breath, smiled and nodded. "It's okay." I let myself relax. "So, what's the movie about?" All I'd seen of it so far was a car chase going on and I had no idea what movie it was.
"Well, see that white car there? It's chasing that black car there."
"Uh huh." I laughed to myself, feeling my heart lighten somewhat. We didn't need to know the plot to enjoy watching a movie together. It wasn't about plot; it was just about being together.
This, however, was as far as it could go. The near kiss at the door when he'd arrived earlier in the evening had been a mistake.
When I'd kissed Jack back on Ke'le'don those many weeks ago it had been an illicit thrill. At the time I had thought I could do it without consequence, although I hadn't factored in my conscience demanding I report the action to him. Talking to him about it had, of course, brought us to where we were now. Fully aware of the feelings between us but unable to do anything about them. Unable to do anything except grow closer, which we had.
If we kissed now, I didn't think we'd be able to stop there. Too much was between us now. I wasn't entirely certain of the full depth of Jack's feelings, but I knew my own very well.
I was in love with him. It amazed me and frightened me and excited me and filled my heart with joy. I was completely lost in him. So I couldn't kiss him. I wanted him too much.
For now I laid my head against his shoulder and watched the white car chase the black car and wondered what would happen when they met.
******
I'd eventually gotten up to grab a leftover bottle of wine and a couple glasses and then I'd settled myself back down beside Jack. We'd polished off the wine, talked a little and watched some more bad TV. It had been nice to just sit there curled up beside him and spend some quiet time alone together.
We must have gotten too comfortable together because the next thing I remembered was opening my eyes to find an infomercial droning on the TV. I was sprawled out over top of Jack who was lying asleep on his back on the couch. He had one of his arms around me and the other was flung off the end of the sofa, still holding the remote control.
I peered groggily at the clock on the wall, which told me it was either very late or very early, depending on how you wanted to judge it. I put a hand on Jack's shoulder to give him a shake to awaken him, but then I paused. So we'd fallen asleep on the couch while watching TV. So what? There was really no point in waking him up and sending him home in the middle of the night. And I was just a bit too tired to bother getting up to sleep in my own bed. At least that's what I told myself.
Gently prying the remote control out of Jack's fingers I turned the TV off and tossed the remote onto the floor. We'd been watching TV with the lights off so the room was plunged into darkness. I nestled myself back against Jack, closing my eyes to drift off to sleep. Some might say a sofa was not roomy enough to allow two adults to sleep together, but I was more comfortable than I had been in a long while.
******
The next time I woke it was near dawn. The world was at that gray time between night and morning. I was still lying wedged between Jack and the back of the couch, with half my body lying overtop of his. My head rested on his chest just below his shoulder and both his arms encircled me. Our legs had twisted together and I had an arm wrapped around his waist. His chest rose and fell with deep, even breaths.
I started to raise myself up when his hand moved to the back of my head to interrupt the motion.
"Not yet," he whispered. "Stay here with me and just pretend for a few minutes more."
I lowered my head back down to his chest. I could hear his heart beating. His hand stroked softly through the hair at the nape of my neck, sending shivers through me each time his fingertips brushed over my skin. It was quiet and peaceful and it felt so right to be waking up in his arms.
"Jack?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't think I can do this anymore."
The hand caressing me stilled. "Do what?"
"Just pretend." We were still speaking in hushed tones.
His hand started its slow motions again and his chest heaved as though he'd been holding a breath. "You know what the alternative means."
I nodded against his shirt and then raised my head to look at him. In the growing light of dawn I could make out his features and meet his gaze.
"I thought I didn't want to do anything that would mean splitting up SG-1 and breaking apart the team. But I don't think I can wait any longer for a 'someday' for us. I want to be able to be with you now." I bit my lower lip after my confession tumbled out, unsure what his response would be.
Before he could speak I knew it was favourable from the joy that lit his eyes.
"Guess I didn't do a good job of trying to stop being irresistible, huh?" His voice came in a low, sexy tone and I ducked my head down and smiled.
A finger under my chin prodded my head back up. His expression had turned serious. He brought his hand up and traced the contours of my face from temple to cheek to chin.
"Sam, I... You make me so happy," he whispered.
"You make me happy too."
"I can talk to Hammond, find out what our choices are. But it's going to have to wait until we get this Corran crap straightened out."
Nodding, I replied, "I know. And speaking of Corran and work..."
"I guess it's time to get up?"
"Yeah. " I sighed. "Unless we want to go into work looking like neither of us made it to our beds last night."
"Probably not a good idea right now," Jack said. "But I intend to take a rain check on it." He raised his brows at me.
"Your sofa or mine?" I asked suggestively.
Jack grinned. "What makes you think we'd even make it to the sofa?"
I smiled and laid my head back down to his chest for a moment, feeling warm in a whole variety of places. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, dropping a kiss on my brow.
"Now Carter," he began in a normal tone, "if we're ever going to make it in to work you're going to have to get off of me."
"No problem," I said, sliding my body across his, very slowly.
"Are you getting up?" I asked innocently once I was standing beside the sofa.
"I'll just lie here for one more minute," he responded.
I grinned. "I'll go make some coffee."
He followed me into the kitchen a few moments later. "As amazing as that coffee smells right now, I think I'd better get going if I want to go home and shower before reporting in."
"You can shower here if you want," I offered. "I can make us breakfast."
"Yeah?" he said. "Are you going to peek?"
"Oh that would help in getting us to work on time," I flung back at him. I'd obviously been picking up sarcasm from someone. "There are towels in the linen cupboard in the hallway."
I made breakfast while Jack showered and then I left him to eat while I got ready. We headed out the door for work together the picture of blissful domesticity, save for a goodbye kiss. We got into our respective vehicles and drove to the base.
So that's what it would be like, I mused as I threaded my way through traffic. Sleeping in his arms, waking up with Jack every morning, having breakfast, heading off to work. As saddened as I was by the thought of one of us having to leave SG-1, I wanted Jack more. I was confident we would both be able to stay with the SGC in separate commands. Though I wished we could stay part of the same team and spend our days together, I loved him enough that being able to go home to him at the end of the day mattered more.
It would be real soon enough. Until then I could just pretend. But only for a little while longer.
******
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