The Hope in Visions

by Vicki James, Copyright 1995

Earth 2 and characters are the property of Amblin Entertainment. This story does not intend to infringe on any copyright.

Please do not distribute without the author's permission.

*****

My mind was filled with visions of my own death and I was scared, as they placed me in the cold-sleep chamber. Yet as the program that would send me to indefinite slumber began to take effect those images changed. Whether I was actually dying or only dreaming, I do not know. Perhaps it was a little of both. But as my body was pulled down into a cryogenic state, my consciousness drifted up and away from my physical self.

I was looking down at those I loved and those I cared for, the assembled Eden group. I watched as the reality of my entombment gripped each one. My son, looking both frightened and brave, had hung his walking stick on the door of my capsule. It resembled a cross that marked the site of a grave.

Danziger had turned away before the door to my crypt had fully closed. He had strode quickly from the room, avoiding the eyes of the others. I felt a presence here in this place that I was, bidding me to follow John. It seemed I had a guide here. Though this state seemed similar to my experiences on the Terrian dreamplane, I knew it was not the Terrians who propelled me. This place transcended even those beings who were so connected to this earth. Which made me think that it was perhaps a representation of the planet itself which led me.

I drifted out of the ship and to the hills beyond in Danziger's wake. I watched him move purposely forward until he had put some distance between himself and the ship, and the people within it that he would soon be called to lead.

John's time of mourning my absence would be brief as he had a double burden to carry. I had extracted a promise from him that he would take care of not only my son but also the rest of our varied party.

If this form of my consciousness had been joined by the rest of my being I might have felt surprise as I observed John's actions. He stumbled in his stride and sank to the ground. His broad hands covered his face and he wept, as only a strong man can. He called my name in a litany. Once his emotion had been spent he stood up, squared his shoulders and headed back to camp, recalled to his duty. I understood this demonstration as I seemed now to understand all. Past, present and future were indivisible as I moved along with the Eden group for what could have been minutes or all of our lifetimes.

I watched the indecision of the group as they debated what course of action to take after laying me to rest. Julia wanted time to analyze all that she knew, all the while knowing that such a course could keep them at the starship indefinitely. John struggled with his reluctance to leave me and his realization that once he made the promise to me that he did, he had already left.

Eventually the group did pack up and head out, once more on an unknown trail to New Pacifica. My guide led me to follow alongside them. Whether they acknowledged it or not they fought their feelings of guilt and fear not as individuals but together.

At one point along the nonlinear path I travelled, which may have been a beginning or end for those I travelled with, Julia's ceaseless study of my body's condition reaped its rewards. I watched as John stood before the group, strong and unyielding. His countenance was given a somewhat menacing look by the wound that had that day been inflicted upon him and would eventually scar his cheek. He ordered the group back to the ship and for once this undemocratic form of decision met with no great objection.

Again, I followed as they retraced their path. I witnessed the ensuing battle for the salvation of my corporeal self. I watched myself revived and I watched myself heal.

I tried to communicate with my guide then and ask why I still remained in two planes of existence. I don't know if I was given an answer to this query but the thought came to me that while there is prophecy in visions, it is hope that brings about a realization of the future. I was learning what hope could accomplish.

So again this part of me drifted along with the Eden group and with the other part of my being that was within their perception of reality.

I saw the joys and hardships we faced together. I watched the tears we shed and the fears we conquered.

Time surrounded me and I had hindsight and premonition at once. I knew what lay ahead and what was left behind.

The essence of this strain of my consciousness rejoiced at the sight of a mountaintop plateau which would be and had been the place where John and I will and did first surrender to our feelings for each other and make love.

I saw and remembered the day Julia announced that she would come to be the first woman of the Eden Project to give birth on G-889. I experienced and recalled the excitement, worry and hope this proclamation brought about. It was both with spontaneity and remembrance that humour came upon me as I watched Alonzo's reaction when Julia told everyone that she was carrying twins. Though Julia had of course first shared her news with him, Alonzo had been too consumed with the need to immediately share the revelation of their impending parenthood with the others, to allow Julia time to go into full detail. He found out about their double stroke of fortune at the same time as the group. Once the shock wore off he seemed immensely pleased.

I learned that my son's connection with the Terrians was to be embraced and I relived my reluctance to let it be so. I saw all of us, led by Uly and Alonzo, form our own links to these beings and their dreamplane existence. For some it was curiosity, others out of the necessity to do so. For along our road it would be and was discovered that interaction with the Terrians is our only chance of survival on this planet and our only means of breaking the terrible hold the Council had over us.

Though I could not sense the rush of adrenaline, which is a purely physical feeling, I both anticipated and remembered the sensation as we journeyed those last few kilometres to reach the coastline and take New Pacifica as our home.

I drifted along above my other self as John and I went ahead of the others. We raced along in the dunerail over grassy knolls until we came to a final slope which ended at the tide. I watched as we sprang out of the vehicle and ran laughing into the ocean. Knee deep in the surf, John grabbed me about the waist and spun me above the waves. I lowered my face to his and as we shared both our passion and exhilaration in our kiss, the rest of the Eden group came down the hill to meet us. The group erupted in cheers and shouts. John told me he loved me then and he told me he was glad to finally be home.

At that perfect moment in time which I believe had been, is, or might come to be one of the happiest of my lifetime, I felt a horrible pull on my otherworldly consciousness that had observed this scene unfold. Where before I had drifted effortlessly through all time I was suddenly pulled backwards with tremendous force. The future, the present and the past whipped around my consciousness until it was shoved down into my physical self which rested in a cold-sleep capsule on a planet-locked starship thousands of kilometres from the coast of New Pacifica.

In that brief second of time between the knowledge of dreams and their diminishment through wakefulness, I clung to the hope in these visions.

When my dream self had united with my physical being and I drew my first breath since being shrouded in cold-sleep, I remembered nothing with clarity of my mind's journey during my enforced hibernation.

I collapsed into Danziger's arms.

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