CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

 

August 2371

 

At eight months old, Hannah was proving to be handful, Kathryn realised wryly. Gone was the quiet baby who in the first three months was mostly sedate, crying on cue, so to speak, whenever she was hungry or when she needed a diaper change. A few more teeth sprouted in the last two months and Hannah progressed prodigiously to the baby chattering stage. Already she could say "da-da", and very soon "ma-ma" would be added to her growing vocabulary. According to Gretchen Janeway and Adam and Phoebe and Rodea and Svetlana, Hannah was a model baby, pleasuring one and all around her with her dimpled smiles and flailing hands whenever she was placed in her bath tub.

 

Hannah was no longer quiet or just plain baby biddable sweet.

 

Suddenly, in the last two and a half months, all that changed. It was as if Hannah woke up from a deep slumber, realised the world had much to offer in the line of starships and eagles on a mobile and friendly faces that continued to look down into her crib or people who stopped Kathryn as she walked Hannah in her stroller in the park of Headquarters and cooed and oohed over a smiling baby. Hannah remained awake as long as she could at night, woke up in the very early morning demanding attention and already started pulling herself up against coffee table legs, couch seats and crawling towards the kitchen where she tried to reach the replicator. Already, Chakotay's drawer could be opened and at least once a day Kathryn had to fold his things neatly and place it back in the drawer. Hannah was fascinated by Chakotay's things. Somehow, the baby sensed what was Chakotay's and what was Kathryn's and made a regular bee-line to the sand paintings, the medicine wheel, his bottom drawer, even to trying to pull his robe from the hook behind their bedroom door.

 

Kathryn smiled at that thought. She had, since she returned to Chakotay's apartment, put back all his things he hadn't thought of taking with him on the Ormskirk, or when he left for the Maquis. He must have removed his things in a fit of rage then and just shoved it where it couldn't be seen. Everything was replaced, even his favourite books, including one he had forgotten - Omar Khayyam's Rubaiyat. Chakotay had been excessively pleased when he saw his collection. The Rubaiyat was no longer on the shelf. She had discovered that only days after her birthday. Good thing that Hannah couldn't reach the shelf yet. She chewed everything and would have died had the child eaten her way through "Awake! for Morning in the Bowl of Night!". Still, their daughter listened with wide-eyed astonishment whenever Kathryn read to her from books that Tom's mother had given her, saying that they once belonged to Tom. Hannah's current favourite was 'Beauty and the Beast'.

 

Kathryn was walking back from Starfleet Medical where Elizabeth Paris had given Hannah a thorough examination and declared the baby fit as a fiddle with no after-effects of her first journey into space and living in the comfort of her mother's quarters on board the Crimond. It had been a joy with Hannah on board with her, the crew falling over their feet taking turns to look after Hannah. But she had been harried more times than she cared to admit whenever Hannah became fractious.

 

"Doctor, it seems her travel in deep space has made Hannah a little hyperactive. I've not had a good night's sleep since we've been away..."

 

Elizabeth Paris had given Kathryn a withering look.

 

"What do you think, Kathryn Janeway? This child's parents traverse all over the Alpha and Gamma Quadrants. Her father, if you don't mind my saying so, gallivants all over the Badlands doing who knows what. Of course Hannah has inherited her parents' wanderlust - "

 

Kathryn laughed.

 

"Doctor, you make it sound as if we're never going to put down roots anywhere!"

 

"Make no mistake, Kathryn. This child - " Elizabeth continued for the next minute or so to coo all over Hannah who was happily obliging by laughing and kissing and squealing with delight when she was tickled by the doctor. "This child will be no exception. She'll want to travel the stars like her parents. Serves you right for putting starships and eagles on her mobile."

 

Kathryn had to laugh at Elizabeth's directness. Hannah had clambered all over her and planted moist kisses on her cheeks, eyes, lips, even Kathryn's ears.

 

"Da-da..."

 

"Oh, dear..."

 

"It's your Mommy, Hannah."

 

"Da-da..."

 

"I knew it!" Kathryn complained. "Hannah was going to say Daddy before she would say Mommy."

 

"They're suckers for their fathers, didn't you know, Kathryn?"

 

"I guess so," Kathryn replied. "According to my mother, I wouldn't give my father a moment's peace when he was home..."

 

"Neither did Tom with his father," Elizabeth endorsed heartily. "Did you know I was jealous for a while when Tom was so small and wouldn't leave Owen alone? Followed his father everywhere. Tom - " Elizabeth's eyes became soft at some memory. "You know I would have skinned Tom alive that time for stowing away on his father's ship when he was only five."

 

"He did that?"

 

"Oh, yes. Owen found him crawling through the Jefferies tubes only after an extensive search proved a human body was responsible for tripping the shuttle bay doors. Tom had been in a shuttle trying to make a flight out, but he was too small to handle the controls. Then he went into hiding again... " Elizabeth paused for a few seconds again. "Tom flew his first shuttle when he was eight. Your little Hannah - " Elizabeth proceeded to tickle Hannah again as Kathryn held her. "Your Hannah will want to explore, Kathryn." Elizabeth's voice had taken on a somber tone, though her eyes shone with pride when she had spoken of Tom.

 

"I look forward to that day, Doctor. But right now, I've got to settle this one for her afternoon nap. She looks likes she's ready to fight me every inch of the way. She did that on the Crimond!"

 

"Good, you go ahead and get Hannah to sleep on a bright July afternoon when the sun is out, it's warm outside and you're going to coop the poor child up in your apartment - "

 

"Doctor! A captain's got to rest!"

 

"Well, good luck then. I hear you're losing the Crimond..."

 

"Yes, it was my last mission with her. I've handed over the reins to Captain Winckler."

 

"Any idea about your new vessel?"

 

"All I know is that when I do go off in two weeks' time, I'll be engaged for combat. No transporting settlers. I don't know what I'm getting." Kathryn sighed. " Hannah will have to stay home this time, Doctor."

 

"I understand. Will Dalene be looking after Hannah?"

 

"Unfortunately not. She has her own little baby boy to care of and the girls as well. No, Mom's coming to get Hannah to take her to their new home."

 

"I'm glad, Kathryn. They're very good for Hannah, but then, I don't need to tell you that."

 

There was a slight pause in which Kathryn nodded. She knew that they had visited Tom in New Zealand in the hope that he wouldn't reject them as he had done every time they tried to see him.

 

"How's Tom doing, Doctor?"

 

"Much better than we hoped, Kathryn. There's much healing still going on, especially between Tom and Owen," Elizabeth said, her eyes soft again. "We visited him again, and he looked optimistic, though he still won't divulge much about the Maquis and Chakotay..."

 

Kathryn had somehow known Tom wouldn't talk, and what he knew, the Federation knew anyway. Still, she felt proud of him. There was much goodness in Tom; now, with his relationship with Owen Paris improved, it gave Tom confidence to be open with his father. Boy, she'd have liked to have him as her pilot on any vessel. He spent so much time being angry, his worth was rarely appreciated. Chakotay had hated him in the beginning, but even he cut Tom some slack eventually.

 

"Well," Kathryn replied, "I'm certain his application for parole will be viewed favourably."

 

Elizabeth looked keenly at Kathryn. Kathryn tried to balance a bouncing Hannah against her bosom.

 

"Owen hopes it will. He hasn't interfered, you know."

 

"That's Admiral Paris, Doctor."

 

Elizabeth sighed.

 

"Yes, that's my husband for you. Tom will serve his time..." Meanwhile Hannah was screeching and banging her little fists against Kathryn's bosom. Kathryn laughed.

 

"Well, Doctor, I have to see this little cupcake to her bed; hopefully she will comply when I order her to sleep!"

 

Now as she walked leisurely towards her home, Kathryn had time to reflect. Her face became soft as she thought of Chakotay's unexpected but welcome visit to her. It had been wonderful to have him home, even for a few hours. He was so naturally a Daddy that her heart had ached seeing how father and daughter interacted and bonded. Hannah saw and experienced her father for the first time and it beat immeasurably looking at a holo-vid of Chakotay. Hannah had reveled in being with Chakotay that night. Kathryn wondered idly whether it was Chakotay's visit that brought about the change in Hannah. Hannah looked far more alive than before, though Kathryn was willing to concede it was just a natural part of her daughter growing. Hannah was by no means a big baby, but she was lively, alert, her eyes always seeming to study everything around her. In the lounge, Hannah's eyes always fixed on Chakotay's medicine wheel, and the sand paintings he made when he had been home from missions.

 

Chakotay had been everything to her that night of her birthday. She had no idea that he left, but the watch had stopped at one minute past seven, and it had remained like that since his departure. She had been glad that he had waited till she and Hannah were sleeping. A smile formed as she thought that she could possibly have tried to convince him to stay. But he had work, and so had she. Kathryn gave a sigh. Her body tingled for weeks after that, but she had been glad. She could go forward knowing he was always somewhere; that he knew about Hannah's progress - that much she found out when he admitted the Admirals sent him regular updates on his wife and daughter - and that she had received from him enough sustenance to feed on for a while. He had been everything and more that night, and she had so despaired of ever seeing him again, especially for a day that had come to mean so much to both of them. In the hours before he arrived, her tears had soaked into the sheets; she had been unhappy and mostly, she had not looked forward to the day.

 

She had been in high spirits the entire day just after she woke up and found his letter. Hannah had snuggled deeply into her arms seeking her warmth, basking in the love and presence of husband and father. Her mother had noticed the difference first, but made no comments like she usually did. Kathryn had been glad of that, but it also made her think that Gretchen Janeway was almost just as in the know about the Admirals' communications with Chakotay. Apparently, the idea had sprung from her and Kathryn wondered idly just how Gretchen had twisted Adam's arm. Then again, she knew that Owen Paris and Adam Ponsonby didn't need anyone telling them what to do, but it was a magnificent gesture on their part to get Chakotay in San Francisco without being detected. While she speculated on how they got it right, she had not pressured Chakotay on any details. Besides, they had other things to occupy themselves with when he arrived. Given a window of just six hours, they had to make full use of their time.

 

Their lovemaking had taken up a large portion of that time, but Chakotay had been given the opportunity to bond with his daughter, to live with them for a short while and be Hannah's Daddy like she always dreamed he could be. Much of the time they talked too, the experience so cathartic that their time was mostly marked by burning tears. Seska was forever something of the past. Chakotay had seen to that and Sergei, bless him, had provided the final and damning proof that the Cardassians would do anything to get Chakotay.

 

Chakotay had been worried about Winonah, and it was one of the few moments that he had retreated, his face creased with concern. All she could do then was assure him that she would help in his search. She had told him about Ken Dalby and that he had given her the co-ordinates of all the possible places they could investigate. Chakotay had been glad to hear that, and then declared he was going to have Dalby's head for going over his head. By then Chakotay's look had changed to pride in his crew; he knew that they cared so much about him and his own personal struggles.

 

On the Crimond she had eliminated fifty of the possibilities of Winonah's whereabouts and there remained another fifty that she had to filter out. The next two weeks she was going to eliminate a few more, investigate all the remaining co-ordinates Kenneth Dalby had given her. It made her off-world visit to some of the homeworlds a necessity, and one included a little known planet in Sector 987. Kathryn shook her head. Not all Cardassians were in favour of their cause...

 

By the time she reached the apartment, Kathryn had been so deep in thought that she hardly realised how quiet Hannah had become in her stroller. The baby was fast asleep and Kathryn gave a sigh of relief. She would have an afternoon free, hopefully, of Hannah's insistent baby chatter. She could say "Da-da", and while Kathryn had been slightly miffed that Hannah didn't say "Mommy" first, she was excited as any mother would be that her baby was starting to mouth her first words rather early on.

 

Inside the house Kathryn made Hannah comfortable. Hannah had woken briefly, eaten her cereal and then promptly fell asleep again. She lay Hannah gently down in the crib and tip-toed out of the nursery, smiling to herself when she did so. She had been tip-toeing around the house since she returned from her two month mission. In the small alcove where their communications centre was housed, she sat down at the vid-com and entered a few codes, studying the information carefully.

 

Kodari was an M-class planet, the smallest in the Kandor Star System, and one of thirteen planets of that system. It was little known, since there was little sustainability. Kathryn ruled out the possibility of the Cardassian Union introducing terraforming on a desert-like world. She gave a shrug. Cardassians used only what suited them, so why did Chakotay and Kenneth Dalby pin-point this planet as a possibility in the search for Winonah? Granted, it wasn't anywhere along the Demilitarised Zone or within the Cardassian borders of control. In fact, it was almost on the perimeter of the Delta Quadrant and a hazardous journey there since those sectors were populated by hostile worlds. It was what they in the Federation called 'no-man's land'. There were not supposed to be settlers there. One thing Dalby also furnished her with was the crew complement of the Vetar, the vessel of Gul Evek whose crew were down on the planet during the massacre of the people of Dorvan V. It was an outside possibility, but something worth investigating. There had been other Cardassian vessels, but the Vetar struck a note of disquiet in her, and indeed, with Chakotay and Dalby.

 

"Well," she murmured to herself, "somehow I've got to get to know more about the crew of the Vetar. Someone took Winonah. Someone..."

 

****

 

The Fleet Yards of Utopia Planitia in orbit around Mars were massive. Kathryn had been here only once before, in her Academy days when their third year class had to make the journey here and study ships' and engineering designs and to bring them up to speed on the latest developments in shipbuilding. Now, looking around her, it seemed to her as impressive as ever. Considering they built the Federation's starships at Utopia Planitia it had to be larger than life. Constitution, Federation and Galaxy class vessels were built here, and it seemed to her the Federation, other than the smaller roundabouts and shuttles and flitters it built, operated on the 'bigger is better' principle in ship building.

 

She had to leave Hannah with her mother. Gretchen Janeway had just moved into their new home, leaving only a housekeeper and gardener at Indiana to look after the farm. It was a temporary move for Gretchen, who wanted to get 'the feel' of the new house. Hannah had not demurred going to her grandmother. She had hugged Gretchen in one of her baby strong hugs and kissed her grandmother with dribbling lips. Adam Ponsonby couldn't stay long with Gretchen as he had to accompany Kathryn on her short trip to Utopia Planitia.

 

Now, she cast a sideways glance at her stepfather and Admirals Paris and Lewis. The men looked like three school boys ready to tackle something dangerous and clandestine. There was a tenseness about them that made her almost want to laugh. She had always known that Adam Ponsonby and Owen Paris were lifelong friends and even in their work, they were always on the same projects. They headed the Strategy and Planning Division and in the war effort that work had become as covert as what Chakotay was doing. Not that showing her the new vessel was anything but clandestine, since by now everyone in the know knew about it. That she was being given command of a freshly built vessel was never, since both men were too rigid in their approach to their work by appointing the best possible person for the task, an issue of nepotism. Because she knew both men very well, she felt extremely honoured to be entrusted with the USS Voyager, and because of that, she knew that she had tasks that would be a little different. No doubt, once she boarded the vessel and took it on its maiden voyage, she would be apprised of her mission, whatever that was.

 

The USS Crimond was already on its way to a distant sector taking settlers to a new homeworld. Captain Winckler had accepted his new commission with grace, saying that he followed the footsteps of two great captains who commanded the vessel before him. Most of the Crimond's crew stayed on, but she knew that Magnus Rollins, Joe Carey and Eamon Daley had been removed from duty and were awaiting new orders. Kathryn sighed. It was a pity that she lost a fine crew that served with her on the Crimond.

 

Owen Paris caught her look; he winked at her and she grinned. It was all so secretive.

 

Two days ago she had been summoned to his office and wondered idly whether he and Adam Ponsonby were joined at the hip, since Adam was also present when she arrived. Both men had greeted affably, enquired after Hannah and said that Chakotay was fine. Her heart thundered naturally when Chakotay's name was mentioned, for she knew now that they sent Chakotay regular updates on Hannah's progress and news about his wife and daughter.

 

"I take it there's something important you're going to inform me of," she stated after she seated herself opposite him in his office.

 

Owen Paris had laced his fingers where they rested on the desk top and he stared piercingly at her. Then he looked at Adam, who nodded to him. Kathryn frowned.

 

"Kathryn, we have something to show you. It's something Tom had been working on and Leah Brahms improved - "

 

"Tom?"

 

"Yes, on my first visit to New Zealand, he had given me the codes to his vid-com at Palings and told me there was something he had done a while ago, that might be of interest to us."

 

Her interest was immediately piqued. Tom was working on something they thought to keep under wraps? She was still wondering what it could be when Owen Paris rose from his chair and proceeded to the wide paneled console against the wall to his left. She got up too, followed by Adam. A few touches of the panel later and the specs of a starship came into view. Kathryn gasped. Did Tom Paris design that vessel? came her thought.

 

"The USS Voyager, Intrepid Class," Owen Paris's voice droned on.

 

"She's very sleek," she replied, still awed a little. It was a small vessel, much smaller than she imagined Utopia Planitia built, if she discounted the USS Defiant stationed at Deep Space Nine.

 

"This was Tom's brainchild, Kathryn. At least some aspects of it were, like the navigational array, shuttle pods, ideas for its warp core and circuitry. Apparently Tom had submitted the design for the primary and secondary hulls a few years ago and since they hadn't responded, he thought they weren't interested." Owen Paris gave a deep sigh. "Meanwhile, they were in fact very interested and had started on the project a year ago. Tom had been out of Starfleet then and I - " Owen paused again. "I didn't know he had done this. He'll receive acknowledgement for his work, by the way. By the time I submitted the latest ideas of Tom's, they were already nearing completion of the new vessel. You've not seen Starfleet Command fall over themselves to get this baby off the ground, so to speak, in as quick a time as possible."

 

"She's beautiful," Kathryn exclaimed softly.

 

"Yes, she is, Kathryn," Adam Ponsonby responded.

 

"Tom's very good, isn't he?"

 

Owen Paris just beamed, his eyes shining.

 

"We'll be going to the Fleet Yards the day after tomorrow," he said as he switched off the monitor, leaving the screens blank. Kathryn was still staring, her heart pumping wildly. Were they going to give her this vessel? she thought with amazement. Then, another thought struck her, and she sucked in her breath softly.

 

"You took me off the Crimond deliberately," she said to both men as all were seated again. She tried to look angry at them, but failed, the prospect of taking a new vessel on a maiden voyage too thrilling. Way too thrilling. A smile had formed as she said the words and again, the two men gave one another meaningful looks.

 

"We'll tell you this, Kathryn: the USS Voyager is a science vessel - "

 

"A science vessel?"

 

"You'll be in your element, Captain." Admiral Paris had smiled and Adam Ponsonby joined in by declaring:

 

"There is much to recommend you, Kathryn. You're the best person for the job."

 

She hadn't wanted to ask then whether he meant the job as Captain or whatever mission they were to send her on. What she was certain about, was that it was war and any vessel under her command would be engaged for combat. The war with the Cardassians had intensified with the Dominion as their allies. The Federation was having a hard time containing the combined threat and lately relied heavily on the Maquis - though no one was prepared to admit to that, least of all Admirals Hays and Nechayev - to sabotage key weapons installations. The biggest strike had been destroying the entire armaments factories on Dezod and even that information was supplied them by Chakotay. She had learned only when Chakotay visited her on her birthday, that he and Dalby had been responsible for the covert work done on that. Kathryn shrugged heavily. Chakotay really was not getting any credit for that major offensive.

 

Adam Ponsonby had sounded as usual very Darcy-ish, although his eyes had a warm regard for her. He had been forced by their mother to ask her and Phoebe for their mother's hand in marriage and it had been a tense, mostly embarrassing moment for him when he addressed her and Phoebe. Hannah had been a month old then and Kathryn was still breastfeeding her baby. Adam had stumbled and bumbled through his words and Gretchen Janeway enjoyed his momentary discomfiture. Still, she thought it was rather touching of her mother that she felt she needed her daughters' blessing when marrying Starfleet's oldest bachelor.

 

"But he's by no means over the hill, you hear?" She and Phoebe had laughed, feeling slightly bruised at their mother's forthrightness. Poor Adam Ponsonby had blushed all over again. She had placed Hannah in her mother's arms and stepped into the Admiral's embrace, assuring him of their joy that their mother was to be taken off their hands at last. She loved the old man, as much as she admired Owen Paris.

 

Now, they neared the offices of the staff of Utopia Planitia.

 

"We'll be meeting with Leah Brahms," Owen Paris told her conversationally.

 

"Leah Brahms, designer of the Enterprise's engines?"

 

"The same one. Because of Tom's specifications, she's come up with some revolutionary engineering innovations based on his ship designs."

 

"Tom's been designing smaller shuttles too, hasn't he?" Kathryn asked.

 

"Oh, yes. Since his Academy days, Kathryn. Only then - " Owen Paris paused, causing both Kathryn and Adam Ponsonby to look at him expectantly. He gave a little sigh and continued, "only then we never got along and I never really acknowledged his worth. All I saw was - "

 

"A rebellious youngster who fought you all the way..."

 

"Yes. He had designed two of the shuttles for Voyager," Owen offered, a note of pride in his voice. "Curious...he named one of the shuttles the Delta Flyer..."

 

"The Delta Flyer..." Kathryn repeated reflectively.

 

"Well, in a few minutes we'll be there," Adam said. He was walking faster and Kathryn had a hard time keeping abreast of the taller men.

 

When they reached the complex housing the offices, Owen led them to Leah Brahms's suite. She was waiting for them outside her door. Leah Brahms, Kathryn noted instantly, was an attractive woman with dark brown hair, and a very friendly and warm smile.

 

"Well, gentlemen, Captain Janeway, you're right on time," she said. "Could we proceed immediately?"

 

Just outside the office complex was a small shuttle launching pad which surprised Kathryn as they missed it completely on their way to Leah's office. Leah she thought, could have shown them the specs of Voyager right there in her office so Kathryn gathered that Leah probably wanted to show them the vessel itself. Since Kathryn was to take her on its maiden Voyager to Deep Space Nine, it made sense to be shown her vessel.

 

A short journey to one of the massive docking ports and they were within view of the USS Voyager. Kathryn, sitting next to Adam Ponsonby, gasped softly as Voyager came slowly into view.

 

All she heard was Leah Brahms's voice.

 

"She carries a maximum crew of one hundred and forty one. Weighing 700 000 metric tons, Voyager has a maximum sustainable cruising velocity of warp factor 9.975. Fifteen decks... The ship features improved computer systems, optical processors have been replaced by bio-neural circuitry and equipped with isolinear optical circuits.

 

"Bio-neural circuitry..." Kathryn murmured.

 

"Yes, the idea was given me by Tom Paris," Leah replied, turning to look at Kathryn. She smiled. "There's one young man I'd like to have on my staff..."

 

Five hours later they were on their way to Earth, a slightly bemused Kathryn sitting in the shuttle next to Adam Ponsonby while Owen Paris piloted. She was stunned beyond words and remained quiet on the journey back to San Francisco. She has been given a brand new vessel, small and very sleek with a spoon-shaped primary hull. Owen Paris had mentioned while they were sitting on the bridge of Voyager, that Voyager was the fastest vessel in the fleet, and designed for maneuverability.

 

"This vessel will cleave any plasma storm in the Badlands..."

 

He knew she would react to that statement as she turned quickly to face him. She had gone alternately hot and cold. She was beginning to get an idea of her mission. Voyager would go where no Federation vessel could dare to go. A sudden thrill coursed through her at the prospect of commanding Voyager. The first impressions of the ship, stark, aloof and beautiful captured her imagination. All her instincts clamoured simultaneously that she was home at last in a vessel that was built practically for her. When she sat in the command chair, something happened to her like it had never happened on any of the other vessels she had served since her ensign days. The ship embraced her, cloaked her in bio-neural circuits and a super warp core, bulkheads that seemed to breathe and a main viewscreen that beckoned her...beckoned her... She had never before felt such a distinct air of ownership in a vessel than she had when she sat in that chair and cast her eyes to the other chair. A flash, and she imagined Chakotay sitting there next to her, smiling his dimpled smile, and enfolding her in their aura of affection.

 

By the time she was home, she was tired but enervated at the same time. A quick mug of coffee and a change of clothes later, she was sitting in Chakotay's chair, staring out at the view of the Bay. She imagined she could see the eagles and hear the cry of the gulls, and imagined seeing Voyager high against the skyline as she made her way to the Badlands.

 

"They mean for me to help you, Chakotay..." she said reflectively.

 

***

 

The next morning she was summoned to Admiral Paris's office. It wasn't a long distance from their apartment to Headquarters and most times she simply took a flitter that was always about to get to the offices of Admirals Paris, Ponsonby and Lewis. She decided a brisk walk would do her good to get rid of old cobwebs and ponder on the events of the last few days. Things had taken an amazing turn, she thought, but then, it was Starfleet. It was adapt or bust. She preferred to adapt. That meant taking command of Starfleet's newest and fastest Intrepid class vessel; it meant going away on very short notice. It meant leaving on a mission again without Hannah. With hindsight, Kathryn was only now understanding how difficult it must have been for her father to be home on important days for them, when he had to be on a mission, or sent on short notice somewhere. Poor Hannah was already becoming accustomed to being without her Mommy for long stretches, and her father? Kathryn gave a long sigh.

 

Hannah was still with her mother and a quick communication with Gretchen and Hannah had to be enough to sustain her for the rest of the day. Hannah had been beaming as she reached with both hands for the screen. Still, she didn't cry, being totally happy and comfortable with her grandmother.

 

Kathryn hadn't been harassed again by Admiral Nechayev though she suspected the Admiral knew something of a communication between Kathryn and Chakotay. Kathryn smiled inwardly. Dalene had visited her that day and had given her a sly look, asking whether Chakotay had dropped out of nowhere to put the beatific and well-fed smile on her face.

 

"And what a smile, Kate. You were really hungry."

 

"Day!"

 

"Oh yes, you look definitely like a well tended cat." Kathryn had long ago given up on the direct manner in which Dalene went to the heart of the matter, even if it were something personal like Chakotay arriving and making love with her all night. She knew she must have turned red, so warm her face felt.

 

"Oh dear. Am I that transparent?"

 

"Only to those close to you, sweetie. But Kate, you look wonderful, you hear me? It was good of Chakotay to be with you."

 

Kathryn had stared open-mouthed at Dalene Buchholtz. Dalene had the kind of colossal nerve that Kathryn forgave in her friend. She didn't want to know how Dalene knew Chakotay had only a few precious hours with her, but Dalene looked like she gave her blessing. Kathryn's heart had soared with happiness; the entire day she did feel like she was walking on a cloud.

 

"He was wonderful, Dalene, and Hannah thrived in his presence, you know..."

 

"Then I'm glad, Kathryn. I'm happy for you. You deserve to have your husband by your side."

 

Kathryn gave a deep, contended sigh as she thought of Dalene's words. There was not a close friend or member of her family who empathised with her situation. Chakotay was gone, and according to many, a coward and traitor to the Federation and Federation ideals. She understood his drive and so did those closest to them. Sergei was still a major force in their circle of friends, and the one Chakotay sent the evidence of Seska's real identity to. Kathryn had seen those results and even now, walking along the tree-lined walkway, it gave her a cold shiver thinking to what lengths Sedeka had gone to neutralise Chakotay. The part of the report from Sergei that disturbed her more than anything was that Seska had even planned to be raped by her own men in order to make her appearance on the Liberty more realistic. Kathryn sighed and tried to push thoughts of Seska away from her. That part of her life was over and even in the present circumstances, with Chakotay away from her, they enjoyed a healthy relationship and marriage, with the bonds now even stronger than ever.

 

Mark Johnson was always concerned at how she was holding up. Because she knew Mark so well, she knew he would never intrude or usurp Chakotay's position in her heart. For that she admired him tremendously. She knew he still held a caring regard for her, but lately she had seen him in the company of a young Bajoran doctor he met while on one of his interminable talks. Mark thought Hannah was too adorable for words, but Mark never came so close that Hannah would look on him as replacement or father in her life. He did shower her with presents though, and Kathryn would accept them good-naturedly on Hannah's behalf. Hannah was currently immersed in two things only: Ceara, their Irish setter, and the toy targ B'Elanna Torres had given as a present for Hannah. It seemed Hannah practiced sharpening her teeth on the targ's ears.

 

Kathryn had to leave in two weeks' time. The thought was thrilling, though it saddened her that she had to leave Hannah in her mother's care.

 

When Kathryn entered Owen's office, she was not surprised to see Admiral Lewis and Ponsonby there as well. Lately, she had come to think of them as the Starfleet Triumvirate. She greeted them, and then took the seat indicated by them. Admiral Paris leaned with his elbows on the desk, his fingers laced. Though she wanted to smile, she felt tense.

 

"Captain, we've called you here for crew recommendations..."

 

Kathryn gave a little sigh of relief. It wasn't something bad after all, though she knew whatever it was, she would be able to handle it.

 

"Most of the crew have already been appointed, Captain," Ponsonby's voice droned, "but the key positions have yet to be filled."

 

"And?" she couldn't help asking.

 

"We're giving you carte blanche on selecting your Chief Engineer, Chief of Security, Operations Officer, Chief Helm, Ship's Doctor and - "

 

"First Officer..." Kathryn said softly, her voice awed. It had never happened. Most of the time they had no choice but to get along with the officer commissioned by Starfleet Command. She had been a good First Officer to Andreas Buccholtz, and she has had only one first officer herself. If she could really, really choose, she would have wanted Chakotay to be her first officer... Still, and when the thought struck her, she sat up straight suddenly, looking piercingly at Adam Ponsonby, then Admiral Lewis. "I can select my own team?"

 

"We've just said that, Captain," Owen Paris remarked dryly.

 

"Tell me," she began, finding her voice and strength, "was that why Magnus Rollins, Eamon Daley, Joe Carey and Doctor Berzin were relieved of duty until further notice?"

 

"She's catching on fast, Adam - "

 

"I'm not a ch - " she began when Owen lifted a hand to still her.

 

"Don't worry, Captain. They don't know why they were brought back to San Francisco to await orders here."

 

Kathryn had wondered why they didn't remain on the Crimond, thinking that perhaps they didn't like the style of command of Jerold Winckler.

 

"Then I don't need a doctor, gentlemen," she said deliberately. She had been in the sick bay of Voyager at Utopia Planitia and had activated the Emergency Medical Hologram who promptly wanted her to state the nature of the medical emergency. Besides wanting to wipe the carpet with his arrogant face, she had been thrilled beyond measure with the medical supplement. Voyager was the first vessel to be fitted, so to speak, with an EMH. A hologram programmed with the life work and foibles of 2000 doctors gave the nameless EMH a swollen head, she was sure, seeing the way he smirked, got irritated and then stood still, waiting for her to deactivate him. Now she looked at the Admirals and thought she could get her own back at them.

 

"You may use the EMH only in emergencies. You're aware of that, Captain." Admiral Lewis was stern, but his eyes were smiling.

 

"It's a brilliant innovation, Admiral. I've already seen he has a mind of his own and in the space of the few minutes he had been activated, already adapted and assimilated new impressions. The EMH is sentient, gentlemen. It would be a shame not to use him."

 

"You have to take a doctor, Kathryn."

 

"Then Sergei Karkoff it will be, Admiral Paris," she conceded. "Make him lose his day job, do whatever, but I want him on Voyager."

 

She was suddenly uncompromising, her eyes narrowing, daring them to go against her decision. Ponsonby sighed and Paris and Lewis sighed in sympathy with him.

 

"Who else?"

 

"Well, since you've decommissioned my senior officers in a manner of speaking, I'd like to have them on my ship, Admiral Paris."

 

They had the grace to look slightly abashed. They knew she'd have them on Voyager in a minute. She was looking forward to having Eamon Daley as her First Officer and Joe Carey as her Chief Engineer, with Magnus Rollins Chief of Tactical and Security. The other senior staff remained undecided.

 

"Here's a list of applications for Operations, Captain," Admiral Paris said, holding the PADD out to her.

 

Kathryn studied it briefly, then rose from her chair.

 

"I'll look this over at home, Admirals. I need time. These are all newly graduated cadets from the Academy."

 

"They're the best, Captain."

 

"I know."

 

***

 

Two weeks later...

 

Kathryn disembarked from the Cochrane, one of Voyager's shuttles and made her away across the spacious, well tended lawns of the Rehabilitation Facility in New Zealand. She had made the preliminary arrangements and applications to visit one inmate. Her heart beat faster. She hadn't told anyone what her position would be in selecting a pilot for Voyager. Lieutenant Stadi was very good, but Kathryn needed a creative man who could maneuver the vessel through the narrowest of passages. While she liked Stadi, the Betazed pilot was too rigid, relaxed little and the last two weeks, while bringing Voyager to Deep Space Nine, Kathryn realised why it would be necessary to relief Stadi in critical situations. Kathryn had little time for consideration of feelings in this regard, knowing that only the best could bring Voyager into the Badlands and out of it.

 

Stadi was not that person.

 

With hindsight, she realised why the Admirals had not wanted to push her right there in the office of Owen Paris into making the decision she had made instantly but didn't divulge. Owen Paris was the last person in the universe to be accused of favouritism and nepotism. She got the job of commanding Voyager because she believed she was the best person for the job in the present circumstances. They would not have selected anyone else if they thought another serving Captain was better, and that included the enlightened Jean-Luc Picard.

 

Likewise, the same with the appointment of a pilot for Voyager. Owen Paris could have pushed on his son's behalf. She could have adopted the attitude: the ex-Maquis is in jail; he was already cashiered out of Starfleet, so what recommendations did he have? Owen Paris remained silent, and left it to her to make a choice. She hadn't informed him yet that she had made a decision, thinking that Tom himself could do the honours of informing his father.

 

But first, she had to barter for his freedom.

 

***

 

Kathryn stared into the bluest pair of eyes she had seen on any person. He was at least ten years her junior, and it probably accounted for the reason she had not seen him often. Their last communication had been more than a year ago, and that through a subspace message. It was never the same as the real thing. Her own communications with Chakotay in their courting period while on two different vessels was enough evidence. It was infinitely better seeing the real person.

 

"Tom Paris?"

 

When he rose to his full height, she was glad that she was standing on a little rise so that she appeared taller than he was. He looked at her with those piercing aquamarine-blue eyes. He had been welding, leaving his task temporarily to walk up to her. Tom looked speculatively at her.

 

"I'm Kathryn Janeway."

 

"Yeah, I know. Chakotay's wife."

 

"That too," she said with a half-smile. "I served with your father on the Al-Batani."

 

"Then you must be good," Tom shot back at her. He was quiet a second, then asked, "To what do I have this honour of being visited by a Starfleet Captain?"

 

She felt like smacking the smirk off his face. Still, she kept her cool. All Federation vessels had received intelligence that the Maquis could assist in the war effort. The Federation needed their expertise in guerilla warfare. At the Battle of Endyor in sector 2135, seven Federation vessels had been destroyed, with only a handful of crew managing to escape in shuttles and escape pods. Chakotay had given them the specifications of the Vetar and other similar Cardassian warships, pointing out the ships' weaknesses that they could target with their photon torpedoes. The phaser banks of the Cardassian war ships were machines of destruction and if they could disable as many vessels, the war could be over sooner. She hoped and prayed fervently that it would be so. Tom Paris continued to study her and when she spoke, she stood hands on her hips, ready to do battle with him. If she could take the wind out of his sails...

 

"I have a job for you."

 

"I'm already doing a job...for the Federation..."

 

"This one's better, Tom." Tom looked at her speculatively. It didn't surprise her when the look turned to curiosity, to interest. The wheels were turning in his head. "It means you'll be out of here, and upon review at the end of the mission, you're a free man."

 

There was a long pause.

 

"Okay, I'm buying. What is this...job you have for me?"

 

"Five Cardassian vessels are making their way to the Badlands," she started. "The Liberty will be trapped in a matter of weeks. I need the best pilot in the Federation to man the conn of the USS Voyager. You know Voyager. Your specifications have been used, Tom, all of them. There's no better pilot than yourself to take Voyager into the Badlands."

 

"They used my ideas?"

 

"You have been credited, Tom."

 

"She's a beauty. But...why, Captain?"

 

Kathryn gave a deep sigh as she faced Tom. Her hands were shaking slightly. Only the previous day she had received intelligence of the enormity of her task. They would be alone fighting off five Cardassian war ships.

 

"This is a rescue mission, Tom," she said quietly, her tone very serious. "We must get Chakotay and his crew out of there before the Cardassians get him."

 

She was gratified when Tom paled at her words.

 

"Captain?"

 

"It's an order, Tom Paris."

 

"Well then, let's get to it, Captain."

 

****

 

END CHAPTER THIRTY TWO  

 

 Chapter 33

 

EMAIL

 

J/C FANFIC

 

1