Title: Here With Me
Authors: Drusilla and Callie
Email: Drus1lla@hotmail.com and Melpomenemuse@juno.com
Rating: PG, maybe R for violence
Disclaimer: Neither of us own the characters used within this story. They belong to Joss 
Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox, and whoever else actually does own them.  The Song, 
"Here With Me" is by Dido.
Author's Notes: This is an alternate scenario for This Year's Girl.  After I saw the 
previews for that episode, I started to get all these ideas.  So then I started writing them 
down, and asking Callie's opinion on what I had written. 	She told me when 
something worked really well, or if I needed to improve on it.  I found myself asking her 
so many questions that I finally just asked her to co-write it with me!  Happily, she 
agreed!  This is the result, we 	hope you like it!
Summary: Faith wakes up, wackiness ensues!


Buffy blinked as the bright sunlight of the noonday campus assaulted her eyes, as she 
walked in a slight daze from the dim interior of Stevenson Hall.  It had been a day now 
since the dream, since her darkest fears had been confirmed: Faith was awake.  They had 
gone to the hospital, to her old haunts, scoured the town, but all in vain.  She had 
vanished without a trace. The assurances of the others that the rogue slayer had probably 
skipped town did nothing to quell the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach.  Buffy 
knew, she _knew_ Faith hadn't left. She was still here, somewhere, scuttling about in the 
shadows like a scorpion, poised and waiting for the moment to strike.  Buffy was ripped 
from her thoughts as a voice called her name, causing her eyes to seek out the owner of 
the voice she knew well.

Riley approached her, looking much healthier and full of color than when she'd last seen 
him. He had survived his wounds, and was back to duty.  Things were a little shaky 
between them still, but it wasn't anything she wasn't used to.  "Everything okay?" he 
asked in concern, picking up on her distracted expression as he fell into step beside her.

Buffy shook her head no.  Nothing was okay, and it wasn't going to be until she had some 
idea of what Faith was going to do.  She hated this part more than anything; the not 
knowing, the guessing, the looking over her shoulder wondering if she would be there 
and what exactly she would do.  And yet she knew that when she finally knew the answer 
to that question, things still would not be all right.  They had an unfinished fight to the 
death on their 'to do' list, and she had a feeling it was an item Faith meant to check off.  
As she walked with Riley down the sunny sidewalk, an unusual silence fell over them.  
Riley was waiting for her to elaborate, which she didn't feel like doing.  The last thing she 
wanted to get into at the moment was a labored explanation about her 'Exception-to-the-
one-slayer-rule-psychotic-ex-co-worker-who-tried-to-kill-everyone-she-cared-about-not-
to-mention-the-whole-town-and-poisoned-her-last-boyfriend-who-by-the-way-is-a-
vampire-who-lost-his-soul-the-last-time-they-had-sex-so-he-left-for-her-own-good-but-
not-before-she-made-him-bite-her-to-save-his-life-because-she-couldn't-live-in-a-world-
without-him-which-she-would-have-to- have-done-since-she-put-said-psychoslayer-into-
a-coma-which-she-just-woke-up-from-and-is-now-out-there-somewhere-lurking-for-
revenge'past.  Immediately her head jerked up as she felt it, an undeniable alarm that 
tripped somewhere inside her.  Faith was here.  The confrontational moment was finally 
upon her, and oddly enough she felt calm as she broke away from Riley's side to descend 
the stairs, coming to a halt as a familiar face appeared through the throng of students.

Riley frowned as he saw Buffy stop in front of an unfamiliar girl about her age, his brow 
creasing in puzzlement as they stared each other down, each with a look that could freeze 
the desert over.  They regarded one another in silence, as if sizing the other up, until the 
brunette abruptly turned her gaze to him, cocking her head, as she appeared to be sizing 
him up as well.  "Well well.  What have we here? A new toy," she commented with a 
smirk. "What _ever_ could've happened to the last one?"

"What do you want?"  Buffy's voice was forcefully calm.  The last thing she was going to 
do would be to let the other slayer think her tactics intimidated her. 

"What'd you think, I'd wake up and we'd go for tea?" Faith sneered.

"I'm waiting."

Faith started to circle Buffy and Riley, their eyes never leaving one another.  "At least 
this one's alive.  Don't have to worry about him going all psycho-boy if you jump his 
bones. What would be the new toy's name?"

Riley looked from Buffy to Faith, completely at a loss as to what was occurring.  "Riley 
Finn, you are?" he asked, keeping his guard up as it was obvious from Buffy's reaction 
the two were far from friends. 

"So if you're here with the new loverboy, then I guess Angel must be dead.  Gosh B, 
that's kind of fast isn't it?  I mean here you guys had this whole immortal love deal going 
on and you don't even take the time to shed a few crocodile tears?" She tsked.  "I have to 
say, I'm disappointed." 

Buffy's jaw clenched.  She purposefully hadn't told Riley about Angel, and from the way 
he was looking at her curiously she had the feeling she would have to.  "He's not dead."

"Well actually he is, but not really right?  You wouldn't let that happen to him, now 
would you."  She stopped her circling, pretending to contemplate her next statement. "Let 
me remember what that cure was, what was it?  Oh yeah my blood.  Figures yours would 
probably do the trick just fine what with the whole Slayer club thing and all." Her gaze 
briefly left Buffy's to take in her appearance, falling to the scar on her neck. By now their 
circles had brought her within arms reach, which the slayer took advantage of to reach 
out and touch the raised scar.  "Wonder how you got Twinkle Toes to take a drink."

Buffy lashed out, grabbing her hand in a painfully tight grip.  "That's none of your 
business." The dark haired slayer twisted out of her grasp in a quick move, stepping back 
with a wicked grin. 

"What's a matter B? I strike a nerve?" 

Buffy glared, standing at ready.  "Is there a point to all this yammering, or did you wake 
up from that coma with a new mission to bore me to death?"

Faith's lips twisted into a sardonic smile as she glanced over at Riley.  "Oh, but the new 
toy doesn't know does he?  You want to know the good thing about being comatose and 
being a Slayer, B?  You get to see all sorts of things.  Like where your boy Angel is for 
starters." A satisfied gleam twinkled in Faith's eyes as Buffy's widened in realization. 
"Hmm, let me think, if something were to happen to the new toy here, you'd be pissed, 
maybe a little down but you'd bounce back in no time at all and latch on to the next 
beefcake that pranced along. But let's say something happens to the great love of your 
life, that part of you that managed to make it through sending him on his little journey to 
hell wouldn't be able to deal, would it?  If you knew that your precious Angel met the 
pointy end of a stick it'd eat you up inside. Hell you'd probably go all Juliet on me." Her 
grin widened as she crossed her arms, the two of them still facing off.  "You know, have 
fun explaining all this to Riley here.  I've got a bus to catch."  Faith smiled that cold smile 
once more, before drawing back her fist. 

Buffy caught Faith's hand as it flew towards her.  She twisted the other Slayer's arm 
behind her back.  Her voice was low and deadly when she spoke.  "If you so much as 
touch him, you won't wake up again.  And that's a promise."

"I'm scared.  Really."  Her other arm caught Buffy in the stomach, as she pushed her 
nemesis back and leapt away. 

"See you in LA, Buff," Faith called over her shoulder, and quick as lightening, she was 
gone, vanishing into the crowd. 

Buffy ran into the mob of busy students, pushing this one and that aside until she finally 
gave up the futile effort.  Clenching her fists by her side, she shook visibly with barely 
controlled rage.  She knew even if she found her in the middle of the busy campus she 
wouldn't be able to stop her, not with all these people around.  Buffy shook her head, 
only one thought settling out above the others.  She had to get to Giles; she had to get to 
Angel before Faith.  Whirling around, she nearly walked right into Riley who had come 
to stand beside her. 

"Buffy, wh..." He began, confused. 

"Not now," she cut him off before turning away and stalking off campus with a puzzled 
Riley on her heels. 


Willow looked up from where she was sitting on the couch when Buffy stormed through 
the front door.  She walked straight to Giles' weapons trunk and began pulling out 
assorted weapons, ignoring the entire 'gang' assembled in the former Watcher's living 
room. 

"Buffy?" Giles asked from the kitchen as he came into view.  "Seeing as I seriously doubt 
you've taken up a newfound interest in training, I'm going to go out on a limb and say 
something's wrong."

"I just ran into Faith."  Buffy informed him tersely, as she rummaged through the trunk.  
"We had a nice little chat."

"Buffy," Riley began from the doorway, "Who's Angel?"

She pulled the crossbow from the trunk, taking a deep breath.  "He's somebody I have to 
go and help."  The others were exchanging knowing glances. 

"She's going after Angel?" Willow asked quietly.

Buffy nodded her head as she stuffed the crossbow along with several other weapons into 
her bag.  "But she's not going to get him.  Not if I can help it."  Buffy stood, turning to 
face the redhead who had come to stand behind her.  At Willow's questioning look, Buffy 
shook her head.  "I can't let anything happen to him Will," she stated softly.

Willow nodded.  "I know.  That's why I'm going with you."  As Buffy opened her mouth 
to protest, Willow cut her off sternly.  "Resolve face." 

Riley looked from one girl to the other.  "Buffy, from what she was saying.  Well it 
sounds to me like Angel's a vampire."

"You're not wrong," Xander quipped from the couch where he was sitting beside a by 
now very interested Anya.

Buffy picked up her bag, waiting as Willow dashed to the desk to grab her spell books. 
"Willow and I are leaving now, we'll call you when we get there.  You guys try and get a 
hold of him or Cordelia, we need to warn them."

Riley crossed his arms in disbelief.  "Buffy if he's a vampire, then why would you help 
him?"

Buffy and Willow paused at the door, the both of them turning back to the others. "Do 
you really want to know?"

"I think I have a right to know why you're running off to help some HST!"

Buffy paused for a minute.  "Because he'd do the same for me," she finally answered 
softly, swallowing and slipping out the door. 

Willow paused for a moment in the doorway.  "It's a Love thing," she added, before 
quickly scampering off to follow her friend. 

Riley stared in shock at the door that had just closed behind Buffy, his mouth open in 
complete befuddlement.

"Mouth looks better closed mate," Spike, who had been leaning against the wall in the 
shadows, quipped with a smug grin.

"What did she mean by that?"  Riley looked around at the others, Giles, Xander, Spike 
and Anya.

"I'll make the call I guess," Xander said, moving to stand.

"No, I'll call him," Giles interrupted.

"What, like Dead Boy and I can't have a civil conversation?"

"To put it succinctly," Giles began as he turned to leave the room.  "No."

"What did she mean by that?" Riley asked again once the ex-librarian was gone from the 
room, wanting an explanation

"Bloody well what it sounded like you wanker!  Are you hard of hearing or something?" 
Spike scoffed in annoyance. 

"But demons aren't capable of love," Riley began.  "It was just some crush or, or some 
weird sort of infatuation or, something."

"Oh they're not, are they?"   Spike chuckled bitterly.  "What would you know about it? 
You ever been a demon?" At Riley's silence, Spike rolled his eyes.  "You want to know 
about those two?  The slayer and the poof were the most nauseating couple of lovebirds 
I've ever heard tale of in my entire bleeding unlife.  Hell, even I could tell you that after 
all this time apart they're probably still bloody hopeless for each other." 

"But she's a vampire slayer."  Riley protested incredulously, unable to believe what he 
was hearing.

Spike smirked, "Disgusting, isn't it? Talk about a perversion." As Riley began to sputter 
something, Spike cut him off.  "You want to hear the story, then shut the hell up.  Yes the 
bloody poof's a vampire, but the wanker's got a soul.  Thus accursed to walk the earth, 
yadda yadda yadda.  They'll be in love till it kills them both, so you better give up trying 
to get anymore than her pants mate.  She'll never love you no matter how hard you try."

"That was a nice touch there at the end," Anya commented.  "I would've gone for the 
every time she looks at you, she's picturing him type of thing myself."

"You've still got the touch ducks," Spike chuckled.

"I do?" Anya grinned, overly pleased before glancing at Xander's less than pleased look 
and returning her gaze to Riley.  "Anything still unclear?  So you know Angel's a vampire 
with a soul, that he and Buffy are in love, and she's on her way to save him now."

"How'd she get the scar on her neck?" Riley asked, his chest beginning to ache.

Xander put his arm around his girlfriend, his expression darkening.  "Angel fed off her."

Spike's eyes widened in shock.  "Peaches actually drank her blood?!"  He broke into a 
grin. "How did that come about?"

Giles returned from the kitchen, having already called and left several messages, they 
simply weren't answering the phone.  "Faith poisoned him, the only cure was the blood of 
a Slayer."

"I wonder how many times she had to smack him around to get him to do it?" Spike 
mused as he folded his hands behind his head, leaning back against the wall.  He raised 
an eyebrow at the other's stares.  "What, you don't think he actually did it of his own free 
will?"  He snorted. "Not bloody likely.  He loves her too much to hurt her, the little lap 
dog."

Giles nodded, Spike had a point.  "Actually, it we never brought it up."

"No, you're wrong," Riley said, shaking his head in denial.  "Buffy would never love a 
vampire, demons are just animals, they're not capable of love."

"Oh they're more than capable," Spike smirked.  "Although those two really can't get with 
the touchy-feely again cuz he'll lose his soul.  The wanker's even more annoying without 
one."

"What?"  Riley sank to the couch, feeling like he'd just been hit in the gut again.  "She 
didn't, no she couldn't have."

"So that's how he got evil the first time." Anya seemed impressed.  

"Rather impressive isn't it?" Spike shook his head.  "Those gypsies really know how to 
stick it to a bloke.  A moment of happiness and he's back to where he started, evil and all 
that," Spike chuckled.  "You know I wish you soldier boys had been around back then, 
it'd have been worth the pain in the arse to see the Scourge of Europe defanged."

Giles cleared his throat.  "Yes, well as riveting as Buffy and Angel's private matters are, I 
suggest we get to work."

Spike looked up at the Watcher, "Doing what mate?"

Giles grabbed a bag from his closet, then began to pack weapons into it.  "I'm going to 
Los Angeles to help them with Faith, you are staying and trying to call them."

"I'm going too," Riley said quickly.  Buffy was with him right now, and he intended to 
keep it that way.


*Together you were powerful, alone you are dead.*

Buffy awoke with a start, her head hitting the window as her chin slipped off her hand. 
She grumbled slightly, her neck hurting from the cramped position she had kept it in. 
Willow was singing along softly with the radio, keeping her attention focused on the 
stretch of road ahead of them.  The outside world passed by her window, blending into a 
mixture of colors and textures.  The hour that they had spent in the car had passed in 
silence, but the words lingering in the air finally decided to find a voice.

The Slayer wet her lips, turning to face her friend.  "Am I doing the right thing?"

Willow took her eyes off the road ahead of her, looking Buffy in the eye.  "I can't answer 
that for you."  She turned back to look at the asphalt once more, changing lanes to get on 
the right freeway.  "But I can tell you this," Willow said quietly, weaving her way 
through the mass of cars.  "The only reason you need is the one you gave Riley when we 
left earlier.  You love Angel, you always will.  Time and space won't ever change that.  I
know when you went to see him last time you guys said some stuff about forgetting, but 
do you think that's ever going to happen?"

"No," Buffy shook her head.  "I'll never forget."  Suddenly, she gasped as an image of 
Angel holding her, the both of them crying, and of her saying those very same words 
entered her mind.
	
"What is it?!"  Willow tried to keep her attention on the road, but if something was wrong 
with Buffy.

"Slayer thing, I think.  I'm not really sure."

"Everything's okay though?"

"It's fine," Buffy whispered.  She leaned her head against the window, sitting in silence, 
listening to the music emanating from the radio.


	* I didn't hear you leave
	I wonder how am I still here?
	And I don't want to move a thing
	It might change my memory.
	Oh I am what I am, I do what I want
	But I can't hide
	And I won't go, I won't sleep
	I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
	And I won't leave, I can't hide
	I cannot be, until you're resting here with me *


Angel rubbed his hand over his eyes, silently walking with the others back to the office 
building.  They had been out all day, tracking and fighting demons as usual. He was tired, 
all he could think of was the soft bed that was waiting for him in his apartment.  Once he 
was in it, the memories would come, but he didn't mind them.  He cherished any memory 
of Buffy he had.  He looked up when he heard his name, then Kate was there standing 
before them. Wesley and Cordelia stayed silent, letting the woman offer her apologies.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry, for the things I said to you before."  Kate looked away from 
him, trying to remind herself that he had been a monster.  "You were trying to help me 
get through my father's death, and I was cruel.  I realize that you must know what that 
pain is like, you were human once," she finished.

"Twice," Cordelia interjected.  "Sorry, I didn't mean."

"It's okay," Angel said quietly.  "I understand Kate, don't worry about it, I'm used to it 
by now."

"You know, I've got to say I'm disappointed."

Angel whipped around at the familiar voice.  Faith stood before the small group of 
people, a cold smirk across her face.  "Faith," his voice was no more than a whisper.

Cordelia turned wide eyes to Angel and Wesley.  "What's psycho chick doing here?"

"And here I thought Buffy would be here and my visit wouldn't be a surprise."  She 
approached them slowly, scrutinizing the people before her.  "I've got to say that your 
replacement for her looks more like her than her replacement for you.  Here I thought the 
two of you would be together forever, I mean I thought you loved each other."

"What do you want?"

"That seems to be the question of the day.  What do I want?"  She crossed her arms, 
again pretending to think before she spoke.  "What I want is for the two of you to suffer 
as badly as I did."

Angel regarded her carefully, knowing she was capable of anything.  "What happened to 
you was your own fault."

"Excuse me?  Oh yeah, cuz it was me who shoved eight inches of steel into my stomach 
and put me in a coma for the last eight months.  No, that was your little goldilocks.  But 
this is my favorite part, the part where she makes you drink her blood and you leave her 
anyway.  I mean talk about self-sacrifice," Faith pulled a crossbow out of her coat, 
aiming it at Angel's heart.  "I am surprised though, I told her I was coming here.  Here I 
thought she loved you enough to warn you I was coming to kill you."

Kate looked at the other people, and at Angel.  Why was she just standing there?  Was 
she a cop or not?  True he was a vampire, but he was in danger.  She was about to make a 
move when the decision was taken away.  The crossbow was thrown out of the girl 
named Faith's hands, flying across the pavement where Cordelia quickly retrieved it. 

"I do," a female voice called out of the darkness.  A small blonde girl came into view, 
attacking Faith with a vicious series of kicks and punches.  The fight between them was 
nothing short of impressive, she was sure that an ordinary person would most likely be 
unconscious already.  These two were delivering powerful blows to each other, 
seemingly unfazed by the damage they were inflicting.  She saw them separate slightly, 
each taking on a similar fighting stance.

"Sorry I'm late," Buffy quipped.  "Traffic, ya know?"

Faith and Buffy stared at each other, neither one letting their guard down.  "Well check 
you two out, Buffy and Angel together again.  I wonder how it'll play out this time 
around." She lunged suddenly, hitting Buffy in the jaw.

Buffy spun around, delivering a backhand punch to the face, followed by a roundhouse 
kick. "You still don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you?"

They moved again, arms and legs flying, delivering and blocking their prospective 
attacks. Faith seemed to gain the advantage, pinning Buffy's arms behind her back.  She 
leaned in close, talking right into the blonde Slayer's ear.  "You tried to gut me blondie, I 
think I get to open my mouth whenever I want."

"Let's think about that for a second," Buffy quipped.  Her head flew back, hitting Faith in 
the face.  "No, I don't think so."

Faith fell backwards, pulling Buffy down to the ground with her.  Buffy flipped onto her 
feet, facing Faith once more.  The brunette's leg quickly swept the ground, trying to 
knock Buffy down again.  The two of them separated, taking on their fighting stances.  
"You want to know what the saddest part of this whole little drama is?  You tried to kill 
me for him, you risked your life for him, and he left you anyway.  But here you are, 
saving him from me."

The sound of car doors slamming made the entire group of people turn.  Buffy saw Giles, 
Xander, Anya, and Riley approach them cautiously.  She quickly turned her attention 
back to Faith.  "It didn't have to be like this you know."

"I think it has to be exactly like this.  Your little cavalry's here now, plus the whole new 
boyfriend and ex-boyfriend here at the same time.  We'll finish this later."  With that, she 
turned and quickly vanished into the night.

Willow moved from her position by Cordelia and Wesley to stand beside Buffy, who still 
stood with her back to them.  She looked at the Slayer, a large bruise was already forming 
on her temple, and her lower lip was cut and bleeding.  "It looks worse than it feels," 
Buffy said quietly.

"I'm glad, I think, because it doesn't look pleasant," Willow smiled.

Angel came up behind her, noticing that when he got near her, her entire body visibly 
relaxed.  She raised her left hand to her jaw, wincing at the pain that shocked through her 
system.  "This isn't exactly keeping our distance," he whispered quietly.

Buffy turned to face him, noticing the slight grimace that crossed his features.  She and 
Faith had obviously done a number on each other.  "Couldn't be helped," she admitted. 
"That bad huh?"

Angel nodded his head, lifting his gaze to the others who were approaching.  "Let's go 
inside, you can clean up."

Buffy groaned as she took a step forward, putting her hand to the sore spot on her ribs. 
She looked up and saw several concerned stares all in her direction.  "I'll be fine," she 
said.  "Really, tomorrow it'll be all better."  She followed the mass of people inside, then 
downstairs into Angel's apartment.  She paused on the last step, a sense of déjà vu 
overwhelming her body.  She shook it off, then made her way into the bathroom to wash
herself off.

"So," Angel began, leaning against one of the walls, "what's going on?"

Willow smiled at him, "Faith's awake, and that's pretty much it."

Kate was confused, more than confused actually.  "Who is Faith, what just happened out 
there, and who are you people?"

"Oh great, story time," Cordelia's sarcastic tone was not lost on the people who already 
knew everything.  She turned her head as Buffy came into the room.  "Well you look a lot 
better now."

"I feel like a giant bruise.  I forgot how hard she hits."

"Well she looked just as bad if it makes you feel any better," Anya spoke up.

Angel looked her over, she and Faith had gone all out in this fight.  He wondered what 
the next round would be like.  "Why don't you go lie down.  I think the rest of us can 
figure this out."

Buffy closed her eyes and nodded, then made her way into his bedroom.  She kicked off 
her shoes, lying down on the large bed.  She turned her face into his pillow, breathing 
deeply of the scent of him that still lingered on the fabric.  She snuggled into the blankets, 
then drifted off to sleep.


Giles stood up, taking his glasses off and cleaning them as was his habit.  "I think the 
important thing to figure out right now is what to do when Faith shows up again."

Wesley made eye contact with Giles.  "The Watcher's Council won't work this time 
around. If he's not already on his way, then you know Collins will find her.  And when 
that happens she'll be taken back to England, who knows what they'll do to her."

"What is going on here?" Kate demanded.

"Everyone, this is Kate," Angel began.  "She's a detective with the LAPD.  That's 
Xander, Anya, Giles, Willow, and I don't know you," he said, finishing with Riley.

"Riley Finn," he said, his gaze meeting Angel's.  "I'm Buffy's boyfriend."

The other people in the room looked anywhere but Angel's face.  Willow finally shot a 
glance in his direction, but as usual he remained stoic and didn't let them know what he 
was thinking.  "So Faith," she quickly spoke up.

"Yea," Xander interrupted.

"We should do something," Cordelia finished.

Willow looked over to Kate.  "Basically Faith's crazy and tried to kill us all until Buffy 
put her in a coma, but she woke up.  So now she's awake and she still wants to kill us all.  
Oooh, wait!  Idea!"

"It's always good when she does that," Xander mused.

"She's wanted by the police," Willow stammered.  "Back in Sunnydale, I'm sure there's 
like a warrant or something.  You could help."

"I could check it out," Kate offered.  "I'll get back to you guys tomorrow."

"Thanks," Angel said quietly.

"I'll see you out," Wesley said, following her upstairs.

"Yeah, well," Cordelia began, getting up from her chair.  The tension in the room was 
still thick, and as much as she wanted to know what was going to happen, she didn't want 
to be there right now.  "I'm going home.  I'll see you tomorrow Angel."  Angel nodded at 
her, not moving from his position.  "Hey, do you guys have anyplace to stay?" Cordelia 
asked suddenly.

"We could find a motel," Giles answered.

"Well I've got a spare room, someone could stay with me," Cordelia offered.

Xander and Anya left a few moments later with Cordelia, Giles left with Wesley.  Riley 
refused to leave Buffy behind, and Willow stayed as well to keep Angel company.  
Angel, Willow and Riley all sat in Angel's living room, the silence engulfing them.

Angel stood up, just sitting here by himself was one thing, but with Riley staring at him it 
was making him uneasy.  "Can I get you guys anything?" he asked quietly.

Willow smiled at him and shook her head no.  "Tell me what's been going on," she said, 
trying to make conversation.

"Nothing really, since I last saw you."

"When was that?" Riley asked suddenly.

Willow ignored him, and began to babble.  "Well after Thanksgiving I kind of did this 
spell to have my will done, and Buffy and Spike were going to get married cuz of 
something I said."  Angel raised an eyebrow at her.  "You should've seen them 
afterwards it was really funny."  That decidedly hadn't been a good piece of information.  
"Oh, um these heart-stealing monsters called The Gentlemen came to town, but we 
figured out how to kill them and they went plooey.  Oh, and Giles got turned into a Fyral 
demon."

"How'd that happen?"  Angel smiled at Willow, she really was trying.  The situation 
wasn't exactly pleasant.  From the way this Riley was acting, and watching him, he knew 
that something had happened between Buffy and Angel.  The question was, how much 
did he know. 

"Ethan," Willow answered.

Angel couldn't help the small smile of amusement that pulled at his mouth.  "Won't he 
ever learn?"

"I'm sure Buffy will have to kick his ass a few more times.  He'll get it eventually. 
What's happened with you guys?"

Angel looked down at the floor as he spoke, "Well Cordelia inherited Doyle's visions, 
right about that time Wesley showed up.  Then we had to vanquish an Ethros demon out 
of a little boy, and well just recently Kate got introduced to the reality of demons."

"But what about you?"

"Nothing new."

She looked at him, with what he knew was her 'resolve face.'  "Do I have to say it?" 
Angel gave her his slight smile again, then nodded his head yes.  "Fine, I will. Resolve 
face, now tell me."

Riley watched the banter between them, thinking that things hadn't always been like this. 
He could tell that Willow was trying to ease the tension between them, but he wanted to 
know about Buffy and this vampire.


	* I don't want to call my friends
	They might wake me from this dream
	And I can't leave this bed
	Risk forgetting all that's been
	Oh I am what I am
	I'll do what I want
	But I can't hide *


Buffy slowly opened her eyes.  She knew she was in Angel's apartment, but was she still 
dreaming?  In her dream she had been here.  Was she awake now, or was it the dream?  
Her body was sore, her mind was muddled.  "Angel," she called out softly, the sound 
barely audible.  She was confused, and a little scared, something, which carried into her 
tone of voice.

In the next room, Angel's head came up sharply when he heard Buffy whisper his name. 
Riley and Willow hadn't heard it, it had barely reached his ears.  It was more than that 
though, he could feel it, something was bothering her.  He fought down the urge to go to 
her, to take her into his arms and forget about the boy who was sitting here across from 
him, proclaiming Buffy as his.  He looked up at Willow, making eye contact with her.
Something in his look communicated itself to her.

Willow stood up slowly.  "I'll go check on her," she assured him.

Riley didn't understand what had just happened, but Angel had known that something 
was wrong with Buffy.  He looked at the vampire sitting across from him, not knowing 
what to say.  "So," he began.  "You're a vampire, huh?"

Angel regarded him for a moment.  "Yeah, for a while now."

There was an awkward pause between them as Riley processed that bit of information. 
"So I guess you were a vampire when you and Buffy were....together....."

Angel didn't even bother to dignify the boy with an answer.  He was not going to talk to 
anybody, especially Riley, about his relationship with Buffy.  He settled back into his 
chair, just watching the boy in front of him.

Riley shifted, subtly unnerved by the way the vampire was just stoically sitting there, 
dark eyes coolly tracking him without betraying a hint as to a single emotion lurking in 
their depths.  From the look he was getting, it was obvious that Riley wasn't going to get 
a response.  Glancing around the apartment, Riley's eyes fell on a rather interesting 
looking contraption on the desk next to where he was seated.  Curious, he picked it up.

"I wouldn't play with that....." Angel began.

Riley looked up, a bit indignantly, but channeled it into a smile.  "Relax, I work around 
high powered equipment all the time."  At that moment, a stake came hurling out of the 
mechanism, barely missing Riley's foot as it embedded itself in the floor.  Blinking, 
Riley quickly set the weapon back on the desk, not missing the now slightly amused 
expression that lurked on the vampire's face.  He cleared his throat, "So you know Buffy 
is the
Slayer, I guess."

Angel chuckled slightly, shaking his head.  "It came up once or twice."

"Aren't vampires and Slayers supposed to be enemies?"  Riley's question was once again 
met with silence.  Clearly Angel was not going to answer personal questions about his 
past with Buffy.  "So have you lived here long?"

"A few months."

"It's a nice place."  Riley drummed his fingers on his knees, waiting momentarily for a 
response that never came.  "I was the TA in Buffy's psychology class, that's how we met. 
She's really great."

"She is."

"I hunt demons, that's how I found out she's the Slayer.  Actually, I kinda saw her 
fighting them, demons I mean.  I didn't know what a Slayer was."

Angel just nodded his head.  He didn't know anyone other than Willow who could babble 
like this.  In the back of his mind he heard Riley asking him something else, but Buffy's 
presence in the room made thoughts of anything else completely disappear.  His back was 
to her, but he could feel her there.

Buffy stood in the doorway of Angel's bedroom, watching her soulmate as he stood and 
turned to face her.  Riley also stood up when he saw Buffy and Willow were in the room. 
He was about to say something, when Angel beat him to it.

"How are you?"

Buffy knew what he meant, she also knew what she wanted to say.  She was putting up a 
good front for everyone, even herself.  She had tried to do the moving on thing, like he 
said she should.  But when it came right down to it she was empty without him.  Faith 
had been right in at least one respect.  If anything happened to Angel, she knew she 
would die right along with him.  But she couldn't exactly say all those things aloud.  
Buffy
swallowed down the words.  "Well I don't feel like a punching bag anymore, so that's a 
check in the plus column," she answered instead.

Their gazes remained steadily locked as neither of them made a move, drowning in the 
heady rush that accompanied looking into each other's eyes, the rest of the world melting 
away into nothingness.  Angel was the only person she could do this with. Whenever she 
and Riley were in a room together, they never seemed able to sit still. She could never 
just sit and gaze into his eyes like this.  She and Angel could have entire conversations 
without saying a word.  A look, a glance, a touch, was all their souls needed to feel whole 
again.

"Sorry, what?" Buffy asked, realizing Willow was saying her name.

"Hungry?" Riley asked, bringing her attention to the fact that he was there with them.

Buffy, who had completely forgotten about his very existence from the moment she had 
entered the room, turned to Willow, her wide eyes pleading to be rescued.  Sensing her 
friend's distress, Willow began to speak, but no sound managed to escape her suddenly 
dry mouth.  Clearing her throat, she tried again, not knowing what exactly she was 
supposed to say.  She quickly turned to Angel.  "So, um, got any food around here? I'm 
actually kinda hungry, for you know, the non-liquid diet stuff."

Turning away from them, Angel walked to the kitchen, grateful for the distraction. 
"Cordelia keeps some stuff around."

"Got any peanut butter?" the redhead asked helpfully.

"Preferably crunchy," Buffy trailed off.

Angel quickly spun around to look at her.  She was standing by the kitchen table, her 
hand hovering slightly above its surface.  Buffy looked around the kitchen, unable to 
shake the feeling that she had been there before.  As her gaze moved to the red surface 
that held some unexplainable fascination to her, she felt the oddest sense of déjà vu 
tickling at her brain.  It was like an eager horse, fidgeting antsily just behind the racetrack 
gate, anticipating its inevitable freedom.

Looking up suddenly, Buffy caught the stricken look that passed over Angel's features 
before immediately vanishing.  His face was once again a blank mask the moment he 
realized she was watching him.  Quickly averting his traitorous eyes, Angel returned to 
the refrigerator.  "I think I have some around," he declared quietly as he reached into it.  
Frowning curiously, Buffy turned to Willow, who shrugged, equally confused.

Riley, completely lost as to the wordless conversations buzzing around him, looked from 
his girlfriend to the vampire she couldn't seem to take her eyes off of.  "I like peanut 
butter."

Finding the object of his search, Angel casually tossed the jar of extra crunchy peanut 
butter to Buffy.  "Here you go."  Again he averted his eyes, bringing them immediately to 
the cupboard, which he opened, snagging a bag of crackers.

"Thanks."  Buffy smiled tensely, trying to get him to look at her without seeming blatant, 
as she moved to his side and took the bag of crackers from him.  In doing so, their fingers 
brushed, causing his eyes to instantly connect with hers.  This time it was Buffy to break 
the heated gaze as Riley's voice pierced their moment.

"So how exactly dangerous is this Faith?"

"Dangerous enough to make us all book it to LA."  Buffy stated the obvious as she 
sidestepped Angel and exited the kitchen, which was suddenly becoming very small.

The three followed her into the sitting room where she settled onto the couch with her 
snack. Riley swiftly moved to occupy the space next to her, much to Buffy's dismay. Her 
head and heart were already a swirling mass of confusion as it was.  As Angel sank into 
the armchair directly across from Buffy, Willow alighted upon the chair of a nearby desk, 
resting her chin on the back of it.

More threatened than he cared to admit by the fact that Buffy and Angel's eyes seemed to 
be playing tag, Riley scooted closer and wrapped his arm around Buffy's shoulders, 
causing the heavy tension that blanketed the room to thicken immensely.  A look of latent 
hostility seemed to cross the vampire's face, but just as instantly was gone, leaving Riley 
to imagine whether it had been there at all.  Only Buffy knew that it was still very much 
there.

Buffy immediately launched herself off the sofa, running her hands through her hair as 
she paced the room.  Finally, she turned to Riley.  "What're you doing here?"

A look of confusion appeared on his face.  "What?"

"Why are you here?" she repeated.

"I thought I could help," Riley explained.

"Do you even know Faith?" Angel asked.  Everyone turned their eyes to him.  As usual 
he had remained quiet, but he had a point.

"What does that have to do with it?" Riley asked.

"Because we all know what she's capable of, and you don't," Willow emphasized.  
"You'd just be in the way."

Riley looked at the three other people in the room.  "What exactly did she do to you 
guys?" He didn't miss the glance that passed between Buffy and Angel once again. They 
were both on their feet now, standing on opposite sides of the room.  "Xander said 
something about poison, and him drinking your blood," he said the last pointing at Angel, 
then at Buffy.

Buffy stayed perfectly still, her eyes locked on the floor.  She didn't dare look at Angel, 
knowing if she did that she would see the pain in his eyes.  He might've regretted what 
happened that night, but she did not.  If she hadn't done it, she wouldn't be here with him 
now.  Her hand involuntarily went to the scar on her neck, fingering the raised flesh.  "I 
think we need to talk about something else," she said quietly.

Ever the faithful friend, Willow immediately sprang to her feet.  "Let's talk about how 
Spike can't bite people anymore.  He really wants to be able to again, I just wouldn't feel 
right about killing him until he can, you know fight back."  Buffy smiled at her friend, 
grateful for her understanding.

"I think I have a right to know," Riley interrupted.

Angel and Buffy both turned to stare at him.  What had happened between them was 
between them and no one else.  Angel knew why she had forced him to drink from her 
that night, for the very same reason he had asked the Oracles to swallow the day he had 
been human.  Being apart from her in this world was completely different than being in a 
world where she no longer lived.

"Nobody but us has the right to know," Buffy answered, voicing Angel's thoughts. "I 
think you should leave."

"In a for your own good kind of way." Willow interjected, hoping to ease the palpable 
tension that had escalated five notches in the past two seconds.

Riley looked from Angel, to Willow, to his girlfriend.  "I get it.  Out of sight, out of 
mind, is that how this works?"

Buffy's mouth tightened into almost a straight line.  "How this _works_ is that you leave, 
and stop nosing around in something that isn't any of your business."

"You are my business.  And I'm beginning to think that whatever happened between you 
guys isn't as over as you say it is."

Putting Buffy on the defensive was never a wise tactic, as both witch and vampire knew, 
sharing a look as Buffy took a step forward, eyes flashing angrily. "And I'm beginning to 
think that maybe you didn't hear me the first time.  _Leave_. "

To his credit, the soldier didn't flinch at her cold anger. "I'm not going to disappear just 
because I'm out of the room Buffy. Obviously he didn't,  or you wouldn't be so defensive 
about it."

"I'm not being defensive!" Buffy virtually growled, resembling a cat backed into a corner. 
She glanced behind her at Willow's choking sound.

Willow coughed.  "The peanut butter.  It's sticky."  Willow explained, quickly glancing 
down.  "Oh look, crackers."

Raising an eyebrow at Willow's nonsensical babble, Buffy glanced at Angel who was 
standing silently behind her, observing the confrontation without comment.  Though it 
was his apartment, his eyes told her that it was her boyfriend, her call.  Buffy closed her 
eyes momentarily, gathering her senses.  When she opened them, she turned to Riley, 
much calmer. "Look, I'm not going to fight with you.  Not here, not now." 

"But sometime," Riley concluded. 

Buffy didn't disagree.  "We do need to talk.  But right now, I need you to go back to 
Sunnydale, and let us handle this."

"But..." Riley began before Buffy definitively cut him off.

"No. This is what's going to happen.  I'm going to walk you out, and then you're going to 
leave."  She turned away from him before he could say another word, heading to the 
stairs and out of sight.

Willow and Angel quickly looked away, becoming fascinated with the weapons on 
Angel's walls.  "So," Willow stammered.  "I thought Wesley went back to England."

Riley shook his head and quickly made his way up the stairs.  Buffy stood waiting at the 
door, her face completely unreadable.  She made sure he was following, then walked 
outside to where his car was parked.  She didn't feel like saying another word to him yet. 
In fact all she did want was this, whatever it was, with Faith to be over with.  Then in true 
fantasy form, she and Angel would live happily ever after.  "Yeah right," she mumbled.

"What?" Riley asked.

"Nothing," she murmured, snapping back to reality.

"Buffy, I...." Riley began, taking a step towards her.

"No," she cut him off, backing away.  "Just go."

"Look, I'll admit that maybe I don't know anything about what you and Angel had, or 
have, whichever it is.  But...I thought I knew what we had.  And now I'm not so sure 
anymore. I just...I guess I want to know where we stand."  Riley shifted uneasily, not 
certain if he wanted to hear the answer, but knowing that he needed to. 

Buffy looked back at him, fumbling for words to put to the feelings she couldn't even 
begin to describe.  "I...I don't know.  All this with Faith and.... It's just really confusing 
right now.  I think," Buffy drew a breath.  "I think we need to spend some time apart."

Even though he had known the answer before she breathed the words, Riley could not 
help but feel the blow of what was undoubtedly the death sentence to their relationship. 
"How much time?"

Buffy shook her head.  "I don't know.  I think you should just go...."  She turned on her 
heel, wanting to end this conversation.

Riley reached out and caught her arm in a last desperate gesture, causing her to whirl to 
face him.  "Buffy please.  I love you.  I can't... I don't want to leave you to fight this 
alone." 

Buffy looked back at him, momentarily caught off guard and unsure of just what he 
expected her to say to that.  The look on his face clearly showed he wanted an answer. 
And she felt she owed him at least that.  "I can't tell you what you want to hear," she said 
quietly.  "I just can't."

"Because of him." Riley stated, despite his even tone, unable to keep the jealousy from 
his eyes.  The fact that she would prefer a vampire, a demon, over him was something he 
couldn't comprehend, and wasn't sure if he wanted to. 

Buffy pulled away from his grasp.  "Yes, is that what you want to hear?"

"If it's the truth."  He knew that it was, though hoping that it wasn't. 

"I love him."  The words tumbled from her mouth before she could check them, and once 
they were out, there was no taking them back.  The truth she had been trying to deny for 
the past year, though once spoken, sounded right.  Angel's was the only name that could 
ever complete that sentence for her, no matter how many names she tried to replace it 
with.

"You love him." Riley repeated, as if unable to process the words the first time around.

Feeling bolder now that the truth had been spoken, she straightened up more confidently. 
"Yes.  I love Angel...I think I always have, and I probably always will.  And until that 
changes, I can't say that to you, or anybody else." 

Riley stood there a moment, stunned by the series of blows that had just been dealt him. 
"If you loved him... why...why did you pretend to care for me..." 

"Riley I do care about you, it's just...."

"I'm not him."  The pain in his eyes was unmistakable. 

Buffy silently regarded him a moment, not wanting to voice the reply they both knew. 
Finally she softly said.  "I'm sorry...." 

"Yeah me too."  Riley's voice was laced with a self-defeated bitterness as he turned to 
leave, his shoulders slumping. 

Wanting to say something more, but knowing there was nothing more to say, Buffy 
slowly raised her gaze from the ground, turning to scan her surroundings.  Her eyes flew 
over the building she had just exited, finally settling on the roof, where she knew Faith 
was waiting.

Willow hurried to keep up with Angel as he all but ran out onto the front steps.  He could 
feel that something was going to happen; he could feel it in the air, the way a dog might 
sense a coming storm.  Willow nearly ran into the vampire as he stopped abruptly, 
surveying the scene before him.  Buffy was standing in the middle of the street, staring up 
at the roof.  Riley stood just outside his open car door, looking at her in puzzlement, and 
yes, pain.

The Slayer purposefully turned, making her way over to Willow's car where she opened 
the trunk, lifting her duffel bag of weapons out.  Taking a calming breath to focus herself, 
she slipped Mr. Pointy inside her sleeve.  Her hand entered the bag once more, 
withdrawing Faith's knife.  It looked different than the last time she'd seen it, no longer 
covered in Slayer's blood.

Angel frowned as he saw the knife appear in her hand.  His feeling had been right, 
something was going to happen.  As she strode towards him, her face was set with 
familiar stubbornness, and Angel knew there would be no dissuading her from her 
purpose.

Stopping in front of Angel, Buffy looked up into his face as she reached him.  Their eyes 
locked once more, and there were no words to express what needed to be said between 
the two.  Where words failed her, Buffy did the only thing that came to mind.  Laying her 
hands on his face momentarily, she stepped forward and drug his face down to her level, 
capturing his lips with hers. 


	*And I won't go
	I won't sleep
	And I can't breathe
	Until you're resting here with me
	And I won't leave
	And I can't hide
	I cannot be
	Until you're resting here *

	
Angel's arms immediately wrapped around her, pulling her closer as their mouths merged 
again and again.  He didn't care where they were, or who was watching, all that mattered 
was that Buffy was once again in his embrace.  Her kisses were desperate, almost as if 
they were the last ones they would get to share.  She pulled away from him slightly, their 
gazes locking at once.  "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you," he replied, gazing into her sad eyes, unable to keep the question from his 
face.

She planted another soft kiss on his lips.  "Don't follow me," she said, quickly sliding out 
of his arms.  Once she began her walk to the fire escape, she didn't look back again.

The three people remaining on the ground were speechless.  None of them knew what 
had just happened, although they had a pretty good idea.  Buffy had made her decision, 
and it wasn't Riley.  Willow jumped, emitting a startled squeak as a car came screeching 
to a halt inches from where they stood.  Cordelia barely set the parking brake before she 
burst out the door.  Cordy looked to Angel, desperately trying to catch her breath. "I had 
a vision."  The stricken look in her eyes as she gasped for breath said it all.

Without hesitation, Angel ran to the fire escape Buffy had scaled just moments before, 
the assembled Scooby Gang in hot pursuit.

Riley popped onto the roof in time to see Buffy stumble slightly.  She blocked a punch 
Faith threw at her, the brunette flying backwards at the counter-attack she received. 
Those few moments gave Buffy enough time to launch Mr. Pointy into her palm.  Faith 
didn't see Kendra's stake, she ran forward to continue her assault, only stopping when 
she felt the wood pierce her flesh.  She looked from Buffy to the stake in shock, her 
mouth open in a silent cry as she staggered backwards, her hand flying to her chest. The 
former Slayer stumbled to the ground, choking and gasping for air before she lay still.

Buffy's back was still to everyone as she slowly backed away from Faith's body. She let 
go of the stake, the wood clattering against the cement where it fell. She turned towards 
the people she knew were standing behind her.  Buffy saw the horrified gazes on the 
familiar faces as she looked down at the knife hilt protruding from her stomach.  "Faith 
got her knife back," she whispered weakly, her eyes slipping closed as she collapsed 
towards the ground.

"Buffy!"  It was hard to tell which spectator had gasped the name first, as it seemed all 
did in tandem.  It appeared before the word was out of the three other mouths, Angel's 
arms were around her, before her body even reached the floor.

Lowering her gently to the ground, Angel gazed down at the gaping wound in horror, 
before looking back up at her face.  Buffy's eyes were closed, her breathing coming in 
uneven gasps. 

The other three were hovering around the fallen slayer, speechless, before all began 
speaking at once.

"Oh my god..." Willow breathed.

"Somebody call 911!!" Cordelia squeaked.

Riley kneeled down on the other side of the fallen Buffy, who was cradled in her 
vampire's arms.  "We have to get that knife out."

Angel shook his head.  "No.  It'll just do more damage on the way out."

Riley raised his eyes to Angel's confrontationally.  "Look I've seen enough puncture 
wounds to know that we need to get this out _now_.  The longer we wait..."

"The knife is barbed, it's designed that way for a reason."  Angel could hear her breaths 
coming shallower.  "I don't have time for this."

"We have to call an ambulance!" Cordelia stated as she hovered.

Angel shook his head.  "There's no time."  With that he stood, lifting Buffy easily into his 
arms.  Before Riley could protest, the vampire was already climbing down the fire escape 
with one hand on the ladder, the other carefully holding the slayer to him, mindful of the 
knife. 

Willow was the first to run to the edge of the building.  "Wait!" She called down to him.  
"What hospital are you going to?" 

"The Community Hospital.  On Olympic," Angel yelled back. 

Cordelia and Riley joined Willow at the side of the building, looking down to where 
Angel had reached the street, and disappeared in the blink of an eye. 

"What now?" Riley asked, clearly frustrated that she was gone. 

"We follow them.  But in a car," Cordelia explained.


Angel stared down at the linoleum-covered floor, the pattern blurring from the unshed 
tears in his eyes.  He couldn't help but call forth memories of the last time he had waited 
in a hospital, after he had fed from Buffy.  His shirt was soaked with her blood, the 
intoxicating scent making him recall the sweet taste of the ambrosia that flowed within 
her veins.  He swallowed down the revulsion that he immediately felt, cradling his head 
in his hands.

Familiar voices made Angel turn towards the exit, Cordelia and the others entering the 
hospital, searching for him.  Giles, Wesley, Xander and Anya were with them now, 
hoping to find Buffy would be fine.  Cordelia spotted Angel first, hurrying over to her 
friend.  "How is she?" she asked gently.

Angel looked up at her, the pain in his eyes more evident than it had ever been before. "I 
don't know yet."

"She's going to be fine," Cordelia soothed.  "The Oracles promised, remember?"

Angel hoped that it was true, that she would be okay.  After all, Buffy had wounded Faith 
with that very same knife and Faith had come out of her coma.  Buffy would pull through 
as well, she would be okay.  And when she got out of here, what?  She would walk back 
out of his life again.  They would go back to missing each other, because it was better 
that way.  "Better for who?" he silently asked himself.

Xander looked at the other people in the waiting room, "Anybody getting a sense of deja 
vu here?  You know with Buffy in the hospital and us doing the waiting thing?"

Angel got up from his seat, moving away from the rest of them.  He didn't want to hear 
Xander's caustic remarks.  All he wanted was to be sure that Buffy was all right. She had 
to be okay.  He couldn't bear to think of her as any other way.

"Excuse me," a nurse appeared in the doorway.  She widened her eyes in slight shock at 
the mass of people who approached her.  "Is one of you, Angel?"

"I am," Angel answered, moving towards her.

"You brought Miss Summers in?" the nurse asked.

"How is she?" Riley demanded.  "I want to see her."

"She's asking for you," the nurse said, looking at the tall dark man before her. "Follow 
me.  The rest of you will have to wait here."  Several voices started to protest, making the 
nurse turn to glare at them.  "Only one person is allowed in right now, the doctor sent me 
to fetch the person she asked for.  He will be out later to answer your questions.  Now, 
wait here!" she said emphatically, then motioned Angel to follow her once more.

Buffy lay in a sea of white sheets, her little body so frail and small, infested with tubes 
that connected to several machines, beeping sporadically, all attesting to the fact that she 
was still very much alive.  A middle aged, slightly balding doctor was leaning over her, 
attaching one of the tubes to a bag of clear fluid, before turning startled eyes to where 
Angel stood behind him.  "Oh, I'm sorry, I, I didn't hear you come in," he stammered.

Angel swallowed at the sight of her lying there so still.  "How is she?"

"She's stabilized right now, but to be frank, it'll be touch and go.  If she can just make it 
through the night she'll be okay," the doctor answered honestly.

"There are other people outside, wanting to see her."  Angel lowered himself into the 
chair by her bed, immediately taking her hand.

"I'll let them in for a few minutes.  I think you should stay with her though, she obviously 
wanted you here."

Angel nodded his thanks, then turned back to Buffy.  Her skin was deathly pale as china, 
and her small frame looked just as fragile as she lay there, still as the death that 
threatened to snatch her from him.  He raised her clammy hand to his lips, gently kissing 
the soft flesh on the back of it, mindful of the tape holding a clear IV in place.  The tears 
that were threatening to spill before finally made their way from his eyes, running down 
his cheeks.  Moving as close to her as he possibly could without climbing into the bed, 
his head came to rest on her shoulder when he felt it.  Her hand was lying gently on his 
neck. "Buffy," the anguished whisper made its way from his throat as he raised his gaze 
to her face, to meet her heavily lidded eyes, groggy yet alert, shining down at him. 

Straightening up slightly, Angel gently brushed his lips against hers, communicating his 
relief at her consciousness.  Neither lover was aware of anything outside of each other's 
eyes at that moment.  Not the machines beeping steadily about them, nor the motley 
group of familiar faces that had gathered in the doorway, watching silently with varied 
emotions as the vampire once again dropped his head to rest upon the Slayer's shoulder, 
his body shaking silently as he wept. 

"Shhh..." Buffy whispered faintly, her hand alighting upon the back of his head, combing 
gently through his hair.  "It's alright." 

Angel raised his eyes to hers, marveling that even as she lay there, hanging in the balance 
between life and death, _she_ was the one comforting _him_.   Angel brushed an 
unsteady hand against her face, sweeping a strand of hair to the side.  "You always were 
the strong one," his voice wavered on the edge of breaking.

Buffy smiled weakly as she touched his cheek, catching his tears against her finger and 
wiping them away.  "If Death tries to get me, I'll kick his ass."

Angel gave a halfhearted chuckle as he leaned closer, brushing his lips against her 
forehead.  "I love you," he whispered hoarsely as he rested his forehead against hers.  "I 
won't let you die."  On the last word his voice broke, the rare tears returning to slide out 
of his closed eyelids and drop upon her face. 

Buffy brought her other hand up to cradle his head as she kept their foreheads connected, 
her nose nuzzling his.  "I love you, always you.  Shh..."  She whispered reassuringly 
though her tears now mixed with his.  "I'm alright. That's all that matters.  It's over and 
we're together..."

In the doorway, not a single person had moved, each frozen in awe of the heartbreaking 
scene before them.  Though for Riley, the reasons for his
heartbreak differed from the rest.  The woman he loved was saying so lovingly the words 
he longed to hear, but knew now that he never would, not from her. Up until this moment 
he had clung to a hope that perhaps in time she would get over whatever feelings she had 
for this vampire and learn to love him, but those were all dashed to pieces on the floor 
along with the scattered remnants of his heart. The tender adoration that shone in her eyes 
for this man was unlike any he had ever seen or hoped to see from her for him.  It rivaled 
anything he had ever seen between two people before, which perhaps was why, though 
each passing moment cleaved his heart in two, he could not look away.

The seven faces in the doorway all registered confusion when both of the lovers' eyes 
snapped open instantly, moments after she uttered the previous phrase.  Both stared at 
each other in confusion for a moment.

Angel stared at her; for the second time that day she had murmured the exact same words 
of their stolen day.  His alarm grew as her eyes stared back at him with what could only 
be recognition.  Somehow, though the Oracles had promised otherwise, somehow.  _She 
knew_. 

As if the speaking of the incantation had been the key that unlocked the gate, the 
memories surged forth into her mind, gleefully prancing at their freedom.  The bits and 
pieces of words and pictures that had been swimming in her head in chaos lately, found a 
harmony and unity in her mind.  *This is the first time I've ever really felt this way..... 
When are you going to realize you can't have everything?  You can't have Angel and save 
the world.... Together you were powerful, alone you are dead.....Because now more than 
ever, I know how much I love you....  How can we be together if
the cost is your life, or the lives of others? ....How am I supposed to go on with my life, 
knowing what we had, what we could have had? ... No one will know but me.... I felt 
your heartbeat... I'll never forget.  I'll never forget. I'llneverforgetI'llneverforget....*  
Buffy's eyes filled with tears as she stared into his eyes, knowing it was real.  The tears 
spilled down her face.  "I forgot...." She whispered, in a heartbroken voice.  "I forgot..."


	*And I won't go
	And I won't sleep
	And I can't breathe
	Until you're resting here with me
	And I won't leave
	And I can't hide
	I cannot be
	Until you're resting here with me*


Cordelia's hands fluttered to her face as realization dawned upon her.  While the others 
watched on with confusion, she alone knew exactly what was unfolding before her.  She 
had kept the secret Doyle and eventually Angel had entrusted to her.  And now the 
impossible had happened.  Somehow, Buffy had remembered.  "Oh no," she whispered 
more to herself than anyone else.

"I promised you I wouldn't forget," Buffy wept bitterly, holding tightly to Angel as he 
leaned over her, drawing her head to his shoulder.

"Shh....It's alright.  You were supposed to forget."  He soothed, pressing his lips to the top 
of her head.

"No, no it's not alright."  She sobbed painfully.  "It's not fair." 

"I know." Angel murmured softly into her hair, his still heart breaking at the anguish she 
was never supposed to feel.  "But it's better this way."

Buffy shook her head silently as the tears streamed down her face.

Angel nodded.  "It is...It was worth it."  Pulling back slightly, he took her face in his 
hands so that he was looking intently into her watery eyes.  "I'd
do it again in a second.  I'd die before I'd let anything happen to you Buffy. A world 
without you in it isn't a world worth fighting for."  Angel's voice
shook with the raw honesty of his words as he traced her damp cheek with his thumb. 
Leaning forward, he placed a delicate kiss on her lips. 

Sometimes, all it takes is an instant to change the course of a life forever. In one such 
instant, Buffy was clutching her lover, weeping softly against his mouth; in the next, her 
body tensed, a pained gasp escaping her as she cried out. Immediately Angel pulled away 
as Buffy fell back into his arms, the machines screaming wildly as the Slayer struggled 
for a life giving breath that was denied her. 

Angel's world was spinning as if he had just stumbled off a roller coaster as the room 
exploded to life.  Pulled up and pushed away, Angel could only stare on helplessly as a 
crowd of nurses and doctors pushed their way into the room with a cart, descending upon 
the young woman as orders were yelled back and forth.  The group of people hovering in 
the doorway visibly winced when her body flew up under the shock she was being given.

"Clear!" a doctor shouted, the flatline beep of the heart monitor interrupted as he put the 
paddles to her chest once more.  "Charge again, and clear!"

The medical team surrounding her all moved back over her again, resuming their 
attempts to save Buffy's life.  Again and again her little body was shocked, while the 
impetuous heart monitor continued its monotonous tone, indicating that their efforts were 
in vain.  Finally the doctor pulled back, reluctantly shaking his head.  "Call it," the 
physician's voice suddenly stopped their actions.  After a pause, "Time of death, 4:32 
am."

Angel stared at the scene unfolding before him, completely numb.  The spinning of his 
head stopped suddenly with the force of a violent slap as the workers slowly filed out of 
the room.  "We'll give you a few moments."  He thought he heard them say, but his eyes 
were riveted upon the tiny body lying so still in the bed.  The only sounds that reached 
his ears were that of Willow's broken sobs.  No, his mind screamed.  She couldn't be 
dead, they had to be wrong.  Slowly, fearfully, he approached the bed, his eyes never 
leaving her peaceful face.  She was just sleeping, she would wake up.  He kept his eyes 
open as he leaned down, brushing trembling lips against hers, watching, waiting for her 
to look at him.  Nothing.

Buffy's eyes, which had once looked upon him with love, shining, and full of life, 
remained closed.  The stark white sheets lay still against her body, not moving as they 
should have with the rise and fall of her chest.  Her hands which had moments ago been 
holding tightly to him, lay lifeless at her sides.  Death had finally claimed the Slayer who 
had fought so hard against it.

Stricken, Angel sank to the floor, disbelieving that the woman he loved was truly gone.  
He flinched as he felt Cordelia's hand alight upon his shoulder.  He did not move as she 
dropped to her knees beside him, pulling the still stunned vampire into her arms as her 
tears began to flow.  After a long moment of simply sitting there rigidly, something 
inside the stoic vampire snapped, and he broke down sobbing into his secretary's arms.  
"Buffy..."

"No," Willow repeated, over and over as if it were a mantra.  "No..."  She raised her 
already red rimmed, tear-filled eyes to Xander's shell shocked ones.  "She can't 
die....She.... She came back before...  She's not...."

Giles, Wesley, and even Anya couldn't keep the tears from their eyes as they saw Angel 
weeping for his Slayer.  She had done so much for so many people, it was hard to believe 
that they would never see her again.  They would never again hear her laughter, see her 
smile, feel safe with just the knowledge that she was around.

"Willow's right," Cordelia's voice was slightly unsteady.  "It's not fair!  She's like the 
Mother Teresa of slayers, she's saved like 50 billion lives and...and besides, those Oracle 
people said!"  The brunette sputtered indignantly, transferring her grief into anger, as was 
the much safer emotion.  "Those dirty double crossers!  They tricked you!  They said she 
would die if you didn't, they conveniently left out the part where she's pushing up daises 
either way!" 

Angel stood up abruptly, causing Cordelia to fall back.  His eyes were blazing as he 
pushed his way to the door without a word.  Riley, who had been looking on in 
devastated shock, instinctively stepped back at the fury in the vampire's eyes, letting him 
pass. 

"Angel!" Cordelia, the only one who could seem to put to words what the others were 
struggling with through their grief.  "Where do you think you're going?"

Without turning around, Angel stated through a set jaw.  "To make this right."


Light flashed through an almost empty cavern as the Gateway for Lost Souls flew open.  
A lone figure stepped through, mist swirling about his legs as he came to stand before the 
two golden figures.  They studied him carefully, before shaking their heads in what 
seemed to be annoyance.

"You again," the male Oracle simply stated.

"What have you brought us?" the female asked.

Angel glared at them with contempt, anger pouring forth from every cell in his body.
	"Don't you think you've taken enough from me tonight?"

The two beings looked to each other for a moment before turning back to the demon 
before them.  "What is done cannot be undone," the man repeated the familiar phrase.  
"You know this, yet you are here."

"She didn't deserve to die like that.  You said that she would live," he was unable to keep 
the pain from his voice.  "I gave up everything so that she would live, and you took her 
anyway."

The man shook his head impatiently.  "You know not of what you speak.  We do not 
decide life and death."

"We are merely instruments of what has already been decided.  We know, we do not do," 
the woman finished. 

"If you know so much, then why?"  Angel's eyes narrowed in barely restrained fury. 
"Why did you let me think giving up the day would change anything?  Does irony amuse 
you?"  He spat angrily. 

"Ignorance bores us," the male stated in a tired voice. 

The female approached him slowly, circling him like she had before.  "There is a delicate 
balance that exists between good and evil.  For every ray of light, there exists its shadow.  
So it is for your realm as well."

"For every Warrior of the Light that exists, so must there be a warrior of equal strength 
for the Darkness.  So it has been, and ever shall be," the male stated in a bored voice from 
where he stood, as if explaining the alphabet to a child. 

"This night when the fallen Slayer met her end, a Warrior of the Light was taken in 
retribution," the female paused in front of him, regarding him casually. 

"Then take me instead."  Angel met their gazes with conviction.  

The male gave a long-suffering sigh.  "You misunderstand..." 

"Take me, or you lose two warriors for your cause tonight.  What will that do to your 
precious balance?"  Angel interrupted, his voice searing with intensity. "You keep your 
balance if you must, but you let her live.  She's endured too much to die the way she did."

The Oracles seemed caught off guard for a moment, the female stepping back to look at 
her brother.  A silent communication seemed to be passing between them. "You would 
give up eternity," the male began.

"So that the mortal Slayer, an enemy to your kind would live?" the female finished.

"An existence without her isn't an existence at all, " Angel said quietly.  "I'd spend the 
rest of my eternity in hell if it meant she lives.  Either way I'm already there."

"Again you come to us with a matter of love," the male stated, his voice laced with 
irritation.

The woman held her hand out towards him, angling her head slightly, as if she	ere 
listening to music only she could hear.  The lighting in the chamber
changed, making the blue leaves on their bodies glow.  "The Augaries give their consent 
for your request.  One warrior for another."  She moved towards him slowly, then 
reached out to place her hand over his heart.  "Are you entirely certain this is what you 
want?"

For a moment Angel was silent as he regarded the Oracle.  The moment of truth was 
upon him, lying heavily on his shoulders.  Oddly, instead of feeling the oppression of 
dread, Angel felt only the levity of peace; peace in the certainty beyond all doubt that at 
long last, he could give the woman he loved two precious gifts: her life, and her freedom.  
Finally she would be free to live her life without the burden of their bond.  Perhaps now, 
she could finally find the happiness that he could never give her.  It felt right.  "It's all I've 
ever wanted." 

Searching his face as if to test that he was speaking truth, the female finally gave assent.  
"Then it will be as you say.  Your Slayer will live."  

As she spoke the final word, Angel abruptly fell to his knees as he felt a force rip through 
him, feeling as if he were being split apart. 


Giles put his arm around Willow's shoulders, guiding her away from the hospital bed 
where her best friend still lay silent.  Letting out the hollow sigh of one who had no more 
tears to shed despite an excess of grief, the redhead leaned against the former Watcher, 
allowing him to put distance between her and the body behind her.  The others were 
waiting for them just outside the door, having already said their goodbyes.  The two 
young men who loved the former Slayer were seated on opposite ends of the same bench, 
staring ahead despondently, though Xander sat with his girlfriend's arm around him.  
Cordelia stood with a sympathetic hand on Wesley's shoulder, who currently had his face 
buried in a handkerchief, mumbling the whole time about a terrible cold he had suddenly 
come down with.  All eyes turned to look upon the witch and the Watcher sadly. 

Behind them in the now deserted room, the body in the bed lay still, ignoring all the 
choked sobs that had been shed over it.  One moment, the room was silent and still as 
death, the next it seemed the air in the room shifted, causing the witch to spin around, a 
strangled gasp flying from her mouth at what she witnessed.  The Slayer's body arched 
off the bed, gasping for breath like a fish out of water as her eyes flew open.  The 
machine that had been left on immediately sprang to life, the lines on the monitor 
flashing rhythmically to the tune of a newfound heartbeat.  

A moment after Willow, the other six were in the doorway, staring in shock and disbelief 
as the formerly dead body of Buffy flopped back down on the bed, her chest heaving as 
her eyes darted about wildly. 

Xander was the first to speak. "Holy crap." 

Willow bolted to the side of the bed. "Buffy!!!! You're...you're..."  Relief broke over the 
girl in waves as tears of unbelievable joy sprung to her eyes. 

Buffy stared up at the seven faces hovering over her in various stages of shock, scanning 
each in disoriented confusion, looking for a face that was not present. "Angel?" Her voice 
was weak and hoarse in her bewilderment.  "Where's Angel?" 

Her friends looked at each other, unsure of how to answer her. Finally Xander spoke. "He 
just took off when you..." 

Buffy's face contorted.  "When I what?"  At the complete silence she was faced with, she 
looked from face to face.  "What happened?" 

Willow cleared her throat.  "Well you kind of...."

"You died."  Cordelia stated.  "Again.  I swear you have more lives than a cat." 

Alarmed, Buffy sat up quickly, causing the machines to protest, as well as her visitors.  
"What do you mean I died?" 

"Well, ah, just that Buffy.  I think you should lie back, you need your rest," Giles urged, 
trying to get her to lay down. 

Forcing his hand away, Buffy's face once again registered confusion as sitting up caused 
no pain.  Her hand flew to her stomach, feeling no wounds.  Her eyes widened as she 
looked up.  "It's gone."  There was no wound where previously it had felt as if her insides 
had been sucked out with a straw.  She was healed.  "What's going on?" Buffy asked, 
more than a little frightened. 

Her companions were at a loss.  "We're not entirely certain," Wesley began. 

"Your guess is as good as ours Buffy," Giles was puzzled, yet his face looked happier 
than she had ever seen it. 

Buffy's eyes widened with a sudden fear.  "Angel thinks I'm dead?"

Willow fumbled for a response.  "Well yeah, but I mean, I'm sure he didn't go off and do 
something stupid...because...he's not impulsive like that..."  She trailed off at Buffy and 
Cordelia's look.  "Or maybe he is," she gulped. 

Giles cleared his throat.  "Buffy I'm sure he's alright... you should rest while we get to the 
bottom of this." 

"Yeah you just died.  You don't want to hurt...." The brunette trailed off in a gasp as she 
doubled over, clutching the rail of the hospital bed, convulsing. 

All eyes whirled to focus upon Cordelia, all in confusion except for the rogue demon 
hunter who knew exactly what was happening.  "It's all right, she's merely having a 
vision." 

"A what?" Xander voiced the question on all the others minds.

"A vision," Wesley stated, quite pleased with himself.  "Messages from the Powers That 
Be.  It's quite an elusive gift really, you see...." He trailed off as Cordelia's eyes opened, a 
stricken look on her face.

"What?" Buffy queried, a sinking feeling rising in the pit of her newly healed stomach.  
As Cordelia raised her eyes to hers, Buffy's heart clenched in fear. "What's wrong with 
Angel?" Buffy's voice trembled as she asked. 

"Remember the Oracles?" Cordelia's face was uncharacteristically pale. 

As realization dawned upon her, Buffy shook her head.  "No.....no, he didn't...." 
Frantically Buffy tore the tubes from her arms and nose as she climbed out of the bed 
amid a sea of protests and restraining hands, which she violently shrugged off. Stumbling 
from the bed she began searching for her things. 

"Buffy, what's wrong?" Willow's voice finally sunk in through her panicked state. 

Holding her bundled up clothes against her, Buffy turned her tear filled eyes to her 
friends.  "He went off and did something stupid."

"Buffy don't just go charging off," Riley suggested.  "I mean you just came back to life, 
maybe I should get a doctor."

Buffy narrowed her eyes at him as she slid her jeans on.  She didn't know why he was 
still here, but she didn't have time to be poked and prodded, she had to get to Angel, and 
she had to get to him now.  She turned to Xander, making eye contact with her friend. 
After a moment of arguing with their eyes, Xander let out a reluctant breath. 

"That sounds like a good idea Riley," Xander agreed, keeping eye contact with Buffy. 
"I'll go with you."

"Yeah," Anya agreed, for once retaining the fine art of subtlety.  "Because we want to be 
sure your guts won't spill out."  At Xander's look, she shrugged.  "What?" 

As soon as the three were out the door, Cordelia turned to Buffy.  "Let's go." Wesley, 
Giles, and Willow moved to follow them.  "Let me rephrase that.  _Buffy_, lets go. You 
guys can't come," Cordelia stopped them.

"What?" Giles asked.  "Why?"

"Only a Warrior can enter the Gateway.  As messenger girl, I'm the one who takes her 
there," she explained. 

Buffy raised an eyebrow at Cordelia.  "How do you know all this?"

The brunette shrugged, "Vision-o-gram."  With that she turned to the others.  "Stay."

"At the hospital?" Willow queried, her face laced with concern for her friend. 

"You guys go and wait for us at Angel's office," Buffy stated, then her voice softened 
though no less determined.  "I'll be fine. "

"I suppose I don't need to tell you to be careful, Buffy."  Giles asked with the resigned air 
of a protective figure that knew there would be no use in
convincing her otherwise. 

Buffy gave Giles a look that stated she wasn't even going to dignify that with an answer, 
softening it with a smile before ducking out of the room,
Cordelia in tow. 


"The Gateway for Lost Souls, is under the post office?" Buffy turned incredulous eyes to 
Cordelia.

"Funny, isn't it?" Cordelia agreed.  "You'd think having all this power underneath them, 
they wouldn't be so well, disgruntled and psycho."  She turned to the marble brazier in 
front of her and withdrew a bag of herbs from her purse.  Buffy watched as Cordelia 
threw the herbs in, then set them on fire. "Let's hope I do this right."  Cordelia took a 
breath, concentrating.  "Okay, what were the words.  Um, we seek knowledge."  The 
brunette's brow furrowed in puzzlement, "That's not it.... um we seek... I'm supposed to 
know this."

The fire slowly died out, leaving the two girls surrounded by smoke.  They coughed 
slightly, waving their hands in front of their faces.  "Try again," Buffy encouraged.

"Okay," Cordelia took a calming breath, dumping more herbs into the brazier. Again she 
set it on fire.  "We beseech access to the knowing ones.  Oh that's it, those are the right 
words!"

Buffy turned to the portal, tears coming to her eyes when it remained closed. "Why isn't it 
opening?"

"I don't know," Cordelia answered.  "Do you want me to try again?"

Buffy shook her head, making her way back towards the exit.  "I'm not going to get any 
answers here.  Let's go.  I just, need to be..."

"Buffy," Cordelia began, prompting the Slayer to turn around.  "Don't do anything stupid.  
The Oracles aren't the type to just give out of the goodness of their hearts.  You 
remember what happened last time..." 

Buffy's eyes widened a bit, "How do you know about that?"

Cordelia shrugged as if it were obvious.  "Angel told me.  Anyway, last time he saved 
you, he had to give something up."

"What's your point?" Buffy whispered, swallowing the lump in her throat, dreading the 
answer.

"You were dead.  And it's not just a fluke dead like the last time.  You were dead for 
almost an hour.  Major deadness.  And now...you're alive."  Cordelia paused as Buffy 
stayed silent, knowing where she was going with this.  "So we both know he had to give 
up something pretty big to do it." 

"Cordelia..." Buffy began slowly.  "What did you see in your vision?" 

There was a hesitant pause.  "There was a trade.  To keep this balance thingy..." 

Buffy backed away, her hand fluttering to her mouth. "No..." she whispered, eyes filling 
with tears again.  "No...how could he?" As Cordelia laid her hand upon the stricken 
Slayer's shoulder, Buffy raised her eyes to hers, surprised to find tears in them as well. 

"I don't know... but I do know this.  If Angel gave himself up for your life, he must have 
thought it was pretty important.  He wouldn't want you to waste it by going out and 
getting dead again." 

Buffy nodded, though her lip was trembling.  "I know but..." Her voice broke slightly.  "It 
doesn't make it feel any better..." 

Cordelia's face was sympathetic.  "I know.  I don't think it's supposed to." Giving the 
blonde's shoulder a comforting squeeze, she gestured towards the doorway. Nodding 
despondently, Buffy trudged towards the exit.  Slowly the two left the cavern and 
ascended into the morning light. 

The walk to the office was made in silence, each girl lost in her own thoughts. As they 
finally found themselves standing on the sidewalk outside the building, they both took a 
breath before ascending the concrete steps.  Neither really wanted to face the questions 
that awaited them, their reluctance making the journey up the relatively short stairs seem 
endless. 

A yawning despair filled Buffy as her legs felt like lead.  She felt as if she were on 
autopilot, her body mechanically going about the motions of living while inside she was 
dying all over again.  She didn't know how she was supposed to face the world without 
him in it.  She felt an irrational surge of anger.  How dare he!  How dare he do this to her, 
unable to face life without her, now forcing her to do the same.  Selfish bastard... 
immediately she regretted the thought, tears springing to her eyes once more.  She didn't 
mean that, and she knew it. 

"They're both gone...." Cordelia's whispered thoughts aloud bringing Buffy out of her 
own.   Buffy turned to her, her expression registering her confusion.  "It started with the 
three of us, this helping people thing.  Angel, Doyle, me.  Kind of like the three 
musketeers only...without the muskets.  And then Doyle..." Cordelia trailed off 
momentarily, looking away to hide her teary eyes.  "I guess I just always thought Angel 
would always be around, with the immortality thing.... and now..." 

Buffy bit down on her lip in a desperate attempt to keep the sobs at bay, the cries caught 
in her throat, demanding their freedom.  She could say nothing, an irrational part of her 
desperately clinging to the belief that if she didn't respond, somehow the brunette's words 
would not be a reality.  Angel could not be dead, he couldn't be gone.  She could feel him 
as always, inside of her, part of her.  A living breathing part of her that was always there 
despite time and space. The thought of living her life in a world without him was more 
than she could bear. 

Finding themselves in front of the door leading to the building, both bleary eyed girls 
paused.  Neither wanted to be the first to open the door that lead to the building where the 
vampire no longer worked, both somehow holding onto the faintest hope that perhaps the 
vision had been wrong and Angel would be there when they opened the door. Finally, 
Cordelia reached out and pushed open the door, taking a breath before crossing the 
threshold. 

Swallowing the ever-present lump in her throat, Buffy moved to follow, and stopped, 
frozen mid-stride. 

Having already entered the building, Cordelia stopped when she realized her friend was 
not behind her.  "Buffy?" Cordelia asked, turning around to bring her questioning eyes to 
the girl who seemed frozen in place.  "What?"  Her gaze drifted behind Buffy, and she 
too froze, her eyes widening as she took in a startled gasp. 

Taking in Cordelia's astonishment, Buffy's world seem to stop as she slowly turned 
around, praying that the hope rising in her would not be quelled at what she saw.  Facing 
the street at last, Buffy finally let out a choked sob at what her eyes found awaiting them 
at the bottom of the stairs. There, standing on the sidewalk, the sunlight dancing across 
his face, lighting his dark eyes with a soft glow, was Angel.  Her brain did not stop to ask 
the necessary questions of how or why, only that for a moment their eyes met.  Both were 
frozen in place at the sight, for a moment neither had thought they would ever again see. 
For that moment, time stopped.

The next moment the spell snapped, propelling Buffy down the stairs, the world blurring 
past her as she launched herself into Angel's waiting embrace.  His arms were on her 
waist, lifting her easily into the air and spinning her around before her feet touched the 
ground again, though in truth Buffy never felt them reach the sidewalk as her eyes 
remained locked to her lover's.  Her hands clasped around his neck, pulling his mouth 
down to meet her starving lips in a hungry kiss that was augmented by the salty tears 
streaming down her face.  Angel was alive.


	*Oh I am what I am
	I'll do what I want
	But I can't hide
	And I won't go
	I won't sleep
	And I can't breathe
	Until you're resting here with me *


Meanwhile, the tense atmosphere inside the office of Angel Investigations increased with 
each passing moment as the clock on the desk ticked away the seconds.  The six persons 
in various stages of sitting or standing regarded each other silently. Finally Riley spoke 
from where he was standing, leaning against the wall.  "I still can't believe you guys just 
let her go like that." 

Xander dropped his head to the back of the couch.  "I still can't believe that's the 600th 
time you've said that." 

Anya grinned happily.  "I win.  Pay up." 

"You do not, I said six hundred and five!" Wesley protested. 

"No, you said six hundred and seven.  I said six hundred."  The former demon held out 
her hand expectantly.  With a disgruntled sigh, Wesley dug into his wallet and pulled out 
several bills, laying them in Anya's hand, followed by Xander and Willow's.  Ignoring 
Riley's glare, she grinned smugly. 

Standing by the doorway, Giles rolled his eyes.  "Please children, I'd like for the girls to 
find us all in one piece when they arrive." 

"Angel!!!!" The sound of an excited shriek that was decidedly Cordelia's pierced the 
room, causing all to jump to their feet. 

"What was that?" Xander once again voiced the question on everyone's mind, as Willow 
pulled open the shade to the window behind a desk. 

The redhead's jaw dropped as all she could do was let out an excited squeal herself.  
"Look!!!" 

By then the window was crowded as all in the room looked out to the street below. Or 
more decidedly, the blonde slayer on the sidewalk enveloped in the embrace of a familiar 
dark haired man, the sunlight dancing across both of them as a certain brunette girl 
seemed to be almost jumping up and down.  

"I thought he was a vampire."  Riley stated in profound confusion at the scene unfolding 
below them. 

"Join the club." Xander gaped, glancing at the others with the obvious question on his 
face. 


Meanwhile, the pair on the sidewalk currently lost in their embrace continued to do so 
until Angel reluctantly broke off the kiss, finding that he needed air. He gazed down into 
Buffy's face that was glistening with tears of newfound joy.

"Am I dreaming?" She whispered as she ran her hand down the warm, living skin of his 
face as if to ascertain that it was really there. 

"If you are, then so am I," Angel smiled reassuringly down into the eyes of his still 
reeling lover.

"How?" 

Bringing a hand from around her waist to cup her face, his own face shining with a light 
not originating from the sun.  "They needed to take a warrior for the light, so I gave them 
me instead." 

Buffy's face creased with confusion.  "But..." He lay his thumb across her lips gently. 

"I'm not a warrior anymore.  But instead of taking my life, they gave it to me." His own 
heart was still reeling with the joy of this knowledge, as much as it had been when he had 
first stumbled to his feet in the cavern and realized that he was not gone. 

A sudden cloud passed over the joy in Buffy's face.  "But what about what they said 
before?  I thought..."

"It doesn't matter now," Angel interrupted her, tracing her lip gently.  "We're all going to 
die someday.  Tomorrow, fifty years from now, it doesn't matter.  All that matters is that 
you're alive now." 

"We're alive now," Buffy corrected him, kissing his hand as she threaded hers through his 
hair fondly.  "And we're together." 

"That's all that matters."  Angel placed a light kiss on her nose, sharing a knowing smile.  

A grin playing across her face, Buffy nuzzled her nose against his.  "You're just figuring 
that out?" 

"I'm a little slow," Angel chuckled.  "But you love me anyway." 

"Slow can be a good thing..." Grinning playfully, Buffy captured his lips in a 
purposefully slow kiss to prove her point. 


Later that morning, the motley group was assembled in Angel's office.  Riley was leaning 
against the doorframe, trying his best not to focus upon the couple seated next to Xander 
and Anya on the couch.  Whereas Anya was perched on the arm of the couch next to 
Xander with their hands happily entwined, Buffy was snuggled comfortably into Angel's 
lap, her hands covering his as his arms encircled her waist. Her face seemed as if it could 
light a thousand suns with its radiant happiness as she leaned back against the newly 
inducted member of the human race, periodically
glancing down from the earnest conversation buzzing about her to play with his fingers. 
Such behavior would prompt the ex-vampire to look down upon her fondly, an amused 
smile gracing his lips as he held her more snugly against him, their bodies molding 
together perfectly. 

Such behavior would consequently prompt Riley to wish he was anywhere but the 
present.  He was beginning to question his decision to follow Buffy, presumably to 
reassure himself that Buffy's feelings for him weren't threatened by her feelings for her 
former boyfriend.  Which of course, was somewhat hard to do considering that Buffy was 
currently happier than he had ever seen her, giddily gazing up at said 'former boyfriend' 
with overwhelming love and joy.  She hadn't given Riley a second glance since she had 
fled from the hospital.  Riley knew when to take a hint, being able to tell when he was not 
wanted nor needed.  He was beginning to think it might have been better to have stayed 
far away from this place, and heard the news in a Dear John letter which, no matter how 
brusquely phrased, could never have wounded him quite so deeply as the scene unfolding 
before him.  Somehow the words 'ouch' didn't quite do the relentless aching in his heart 
justice. 

Across the room where he was standing beside a seated, beaming Willow, Giles took his 
glasses from his face, rubbing the bridge of his nose in thought. "This is...well astounding 
doesn't quite seem to do the situation justice, does it?"

"It's completely unprecedented." Wesley added, leaning against the desk that Cordelia 
was seated behind.  "I believe Angel may very well hold the distinction of being the first 
complete reversal of vampirism in recorded history."

"Twice if you count the lost day thingy."  Willow pointed out, to which all present 
seemed to agree, having been informed of the essential history of Angel's dealings with 
the Oracles during the debriefing of the previous hour.  

Giles returned his glasses to his face, musing thoughtfully.  "Now that may not be 
entirely accurate.  We don't know that other vampires haven't had similar encounters with 
a Mohra demon, and managed to escape notice.  In fact if the powers of the Mohra have 
been recorded, I think it's safe to assume that something similar has happened at least 
once before."

"It's possible."  Angel nodded, though his attention was momentarily diverted by the 
Slayer in his arms laying her head against his chest, listening giddily to his strong and 
steady heart beat as she became disinterested with the conversation.  She glanced up, 
sensing his eyes upon her, and smiled.  As they both ignored the less than fascinating 
history debate bandying between the two former watchers, drowning in each others 
glowing gazes, a shared thought passed between them: *Are they ever going to leave?*

Catching the look that passed between the two, Cordelia, who though happy; was 
becoming increasingly bored as evidenced by her rather inspired doodling on the back of 
an invoice as she sat at her desk.  She cleared her throat as she set down her pen, "I hate 
to interrupt the History Channel story hour... actually, I don't.  Anyway, I think I speak 
for everyone in saying that I haven't slept in forever, so I vote that it's happy trails time." 

"Plus Angel and Buffy want to have sex."  All eyes in the room turned to Anya. "If I were 
her by now I would have thrown him down on that desk and given him multiple org..."

"Anya, sweetheart."  Xander quickly interrupted, sitting up with an embarrassed forced 
smile.  "Remember that little talk we had about the 'public talk' not including any 
sentence with the word 'orgasm' in it?"   

Anya shrugged, "Actually, when you said 'orgasm' I got to thinking about how much I 
wanted to give you one, and then I did, so..." 

Xander stood up quickly.  "Okay then.  So, how bout that Mohra demon? Talk about your 
Freak Hall of Fame-er..." 

Grinning with amusement, Willow stood.  "You know what? I'm actually kinda sleepy 
too.  The whole fight to the deaths and then with the Lazarus thing, I think I need to 
hibernate for a few years and all."

A hint of an amused smile on his face, Giles pushed away from the wall. "Actually, it 
seems our work is finished here.  I don't see a reason why we
shouldn't all simply return to Sunnydale, that is..." Giles trailed off, glancing at Buffy 
questioningly. 

Buffy smiled up at Giles from Angel's arms.  "I think we've got it covered here. What's 
Her Name the she-cop's going to take care of the Faith thing, so..." She trailed off at 
Angel's chuckle, tilting her head back to look up at him. "What?"

"You mean Kate," he smirked at her rolled eyes as she straightened.

"Whatever.  Anyway, we're good to go." 

Angel's arms tightened around her waist instinctively, his face unable to mask his 
wounded disappointment.  "You're going?" 

Turning to look up at him, Buffy smiled.  "Just an expression," she assured him, leaning 
against the solid wall of his chest.  At Angel's sigh of relief, she grinned.  Her voice 
moved to a lower timber, meant only for his ears.  "I thought I'd stick around a little 
while, you know, catch up on unfinished business..." 

At both of their knowing smirks, Cordelia rolled her eyes.  "Speaking of business, what 
about ours?  The whole 'vampire detective' thing is kind of dependent on you being 
warrior vampire guy who doesn't, you know, get his ass kicked down the block."

Angel blinked.  "I hadn't really thought about that yet..." 

"Well, who says you have to be a vampire detective?  I mean there of lots of detective 
detectives," Willow offered helpfully.  "They do the detective thing without having the 
vampire thing."

"Willow's right.  You can still help people in a non demon-hunting capacity." Buffy 
smiled up at Angel hopefully.  "Real detectives do it all the time." 

"Except I'm not a real detective," Angel stated with slightly sullen expression. 

"Yeah well I'm not exactly a 'real' slayer, what with the whole quit the council thing." 

"I'm not exactly a real watcher, or a librarian for that matter, and yet..." Giles pointed out 
with a long sigh. 

"I'm not exactly a real 'rogue demon hunter' either," Wesley sighed. 

"And me?  Not exactly your real witch.  Just ask Amy." 

"So not exactly your real sidekick..." Xander quipped. 

"He's too busy giving me real org... _what_?" Anya asked indignantly at the looks she 
was getting.

Buffy shook her head and gave Angel an encouraging smile as she reached up and laid 
her hand on his face.  "See?  All that matters is that you're good at it, and you _are_." As 
Angel opened his mouth, Buffy cut him off.  "And besides, when you need some demon 
body count, you'll have your very own on location Slayer." 

Angel seemed a little surprised at this.  "You're staying for good?  What about college?" 

"What, LA doesn't have any?" Her tone coupled with her raised eyebrow indicated that 
no amount of negotiation would change her mind.

Willow grinned suddenly, "Hey didn't you get accepted to UCLA last year?"

Buffy brightened.  "Mom did want me to go there..."  She looked up at Angel again. "I 
could transfer there next semester.  And until then, well, Sunnydale's not that far away, 
we could always commute for the weekends and...stuff.." 

Shaking her head at Buffy's suggestive tone, Cordelia pushed away from the desk. "Well 
that's my cue."  She stood, gathering her things.  "Come on Wes."

Confused, Wesley straightened from where he was standing.  "Go where?  What?"

"You're taking me to lunch."

"I am?"  At her look, he cleared his throat.  "I am.  I think I'll take Cordelia to lunch," 
Wesley announced.  

"Good idea," Willow nodded with mock seriousness as the small crowd headed for the 
door.  Buffy disentangled herself from Angel's arms to walk her friends to the door, 
giving his hand a squeeze before leaving him reclining on the couch. She could feel his 
eyes tracking her as she stood in the doorway, her best friend pulling her into a hug. 

"So you're coming back after the weekend?" the witch asked, before grinning. "Cuz if 
you wanted to stay til Monday, I could be persuaded to be your scribe for a few classes..."

Buffy's face blossomed with happiness.  "Would you?"  She hugged the girl again. 
"You're the best Will." 

Willow was grinning still as she pulled back.  "Well I figured you guys have some 
'catching up' to do."

The knowing twinkle in the redhead's eye prompted Anya to snort.  "See? I told you."

Xander sighed, "I give up."

"How come she gets to say it and I don't?" 

"Remember 'subtlety'?  We talked about this..."  The conversation trailed off as the 
exasperated boyfriend led the flamboyant ex-demon down the hallway. 

Giles shook his head at the two before returning his gaze to Buffy with a kindly smile.  
"You gave us quite the scare last night."

Buffy returned the smile.  "Well I'll try not to die again on you.  I like to space it out.  
You know, every couple of years take a little trip to the
afterlife, send my regards. The usual." 

Giles chuckled.  "Yes, well, lets not make a habit of it.  I think twice, more than exceeds 
your quota."

"I'll remember that the next time a psycho wants to kill me." 

Giles regarded her seriously.  "I mean it Buffy.  You'll have a lot of things on your mind 
now, you mustn't let it interfere with your focus."  At Buffy's
raised eyebrow, Giles sighed with a small smile.  "And I'm being overprotective again, 
aren't I?"

"Well I would have chosen 'nagging'..." Buffy grinned as he smiled sheepishly. "But I 
know what you mean, and I _will_ be careful.  Promise." 

Satisfied with her answer, Giles nodded with a smile.  "See you on Tuesday, Buffy." 
With that, he turned away, heading for the stairs.

"And Giles?" Buffy called after him, prompting him to look back to where she was 
standing in the doorway.

"Yes?"

Buffy smiled knowingly.  "Love you too." 

Touched, Giles didn't exactly know how to answer that besides a fond smile and a nod, 
before returning to the stairs. 

During this exchange, Riley attempted to slip past the pair unnoticed, wanting nothing 
more than to get away from the whole situation.  His plan very nearly worked, had 
Buffy's eye not tagged him moments before he reached the stairs that Giles was now 
descending.

"Riley wait."  Buffy moved from the doorway, jogging to where Riley stopped, pausing a 
moment before turning around to face her.  Buffy swallowed at the thinly disguised pain 
in his eyes, feeling a wave of guilt crash over her. "I'm sorry." 

Riley shook his head.  "It's really not necessary..."

"It is," Buffy cut him off.  "I never should have gotten involved with you in the first place 
when I was still in love with him.  It wasn't fair, to you, or
anybody.  I mean, I was confused, but that's no excuse.  I know it doesn't really help, but 
for what it's worth, I never meant to hurt you.  You're a really nice guy, and you deserve 
to be with someone who can feel the same way about you that..."

"Whoa, slow down," Riley managed to fathom a smile as he held up his hand, cutting off 
her stream of guilty babble.  "I don't blame you Buffy... maybe I wish this revelation 
could have happened a little sooner rather than later, but, it's really not your fault.  You 
had issues, you've worked through them.  I accept that."

"But it is, I shouldn't have..." She protested.

"I don't regret knowing you Buffy."  Riley stated with a wistful smile.  And he meant it.  
Painful or not, she had taught him something.  He wasn't quite sure what it was yet, but it 
would come to him.  "Sure, I could do without the pain, but what doesn't kill you makes 
you stronger, right?" 

Buffy seemed to be lost in her own thoughts for a moment.  "No kidding."  She snapped 
out of whatever memories had held her attention and raised her sympathetic hazel eyes to 
his again.  "But I am sorry for the pain part."

"Don't be," Riley glanced back at the still open door of the office as he noted softly.  "He 
makes you happy.  I've never seen you like this, before." 

It was more of a statement then a question, but Buffy responded nevertheless. "He does."  
In truth, she hadn't even needed to say the words; the light in her eyes said it all. 

Riley felt the pain nudging at his heart again and nodded slowly.  "Then I'm happy for 
you."  *Liar* his mind scoffed.  Sure, 'happy' was a bit of a stretch, but it was more or 
less the truth.  He didn't really feel as if he had lost her to the ex-demon detective; from 
the moment he had seen their eyes lock, up until the previous hour they had spent 
engrossed in an unspoken conversation on the couch, it had become increasingly apparent 
that she had never truly been his at all.  What was that his father had always said?  *If 
you love something, set it free.  If it comes back, it's yours.  If it doesn't, it was never 
yours in the first place.* Obviously, she had come back to Angel; and as much as it hurt 
to admit it, she seemed to belong with him.  He, in fact, had set her free.  But the love 
they shared was something so obvious, even to a person who had just discovered its 
existence.  Naturally, they had returned to each other.

Buffy smiled gratefully.  "Thank you."  She reached over and gave his hand a quick 
friendly squeeze.  "You're taking this a whole lot better than I would have, that's for 
sure." 

Accepting the gesture for what it was, Riley shrugged.  "What are friends for?" They both 
smiled at that, the tension easing a bit.  Riley noticed that she had begun to shift on her 
feet a bit antsily, throwing glances back at the office, obviously eager to return to 
'catching up'.  There it was again, that twinging pain, which Riley covered with a quick 
smile.  "So, I guess I'll see you around?" 

"You bet."  After a moments pause, both acknowledged the fact that there was really 
nothing more to say.  Buffy gave Riley a nod, gesturing back to the office. He nodded, 
understanding her desire to return to the man she loved.  Buffy smiled warmly at him 
before turning away.  As she reached the doorway, she stopped and leaned against it, 
peaking her head into the office, her face lighting up like fireworks.  He could hear her 
speaking before sliding into the room, followed by Angel's response.  Their mutual 
laughter rang out before the door flew closed, the snap of a clicking lock the last thing 
that reached Riley's ears. 

Riley stood for a moment gazing at the closed door, the barrier that was at once tangible 
and symbolic, before letting out a sigh.  "Goodbye Buffy."  With that he turned away.


	*And I won't leave
	And I can't hide
	I cannot be
	Until you're resting here
	And I won't go
	And I won't sleep
	And I can't breathe
	Until you're resting here with me
	And I won't leave
	And I can't hide
	I cannot be
	Until you're resting here with me*