The snow melted quickly once the sun came out. Giles decided the weather anomaly was just a blip on the greater whole of the Hellmouth's proximity -- although it was hardly evil -- and shrugged it off. He didn't even bother researching it. He did wish it had lasted a bit longer. The cooler air and the snow itself made a refreshing change from the relentless yellow glare of the Southern California sun. Despite that outlook it was now nighttime which was his least favourite part of the day. Far too many of Sunnydale's denizens came out to play at night.

He descended the steps to his apartment and pulled his keys from his pocket. Before he got the door unlocked, a voice drifted out from the shadows.

"Hello, Giles."

Whirling around, his hand closing on the wooden stake in his pocket, Giles reacted before he thought. He raised the stake, prepared to run it through his attacker.

Angel brought his hands up to protect himself.

"Hey! Take it easy."

"Angel."

Giles backed off.

This was only the second time he'd seen the vampire since Angel's return from Hell. The first time Giles had allowed him into his home but kept a crossbow pointed at him until he realized the ensouled vampire meant no harm.

He lowered the stake.

"What do you want, Angel?" Barely veiled hostility harshened his voice.

His hands spread before him, Angel said, "Just to talk. Like we used to. I miss our conversations, Rupert."

All of the defensiveness in Giles' posture slipped away. He stared at Angel for a moment then turned again to unlock the door.

"Come in," he said over his shoulder.

Angel followed him inside and Giles closed the door then stood staring at the vampire's back as he wandered into the apartment.

Giles asked, "Have you really come here just to chat?"

"Yeah." Angel smiled tentatively, that awkward smile he wore as if he was trying not to let his fangs protrude. "Are you surprised?"

"Quite frankly, yes."

His head bowed, Angel replied, "Can't blame you, I guess. After what I did..."

"No," Giles interrupted. "Let's...let's not go there just yet."

"I thought you would want to get it all out in the open."

"I do and we will. Right now I want to sit and relax. It's been a long day." He gestured towards the couch, loosening his tie as he walked further into the room.

Giles settled in his favourite chair and Angel gingerly sat on the sofa as if still unsure of his welcome. Sitting with elbows on knees and shoulders hunched Angel looked up at Giles, waiting for a sign as to the Watcher's state of mind.

"Relax, Angel," Giles said staring at him through lowered lids, his head resting against the back of his chair. "_I_ don't bite."

The vampire laughed softly. "That's not what I'm worried about. I'm wondering where you've got the crossbow this time. I mean, come on, the kitchen? Who keeps a weapon in the kitchen?"

Many emotions flitted across Giles' face. The smile that finally settled on his lips was cold and humourless. "I do. Can't be too careful living in Sunnydale."

Angel winced. "I hope you're not referring just to me."

Sitting up straighter, Giles leaned forward. "I know that you, Angel, are not capable of evil."

"But the things I did..."

"No. It wasn't you. It was Angelus. It was your demon. I know this. However, while talking to you I am still having difficulty reconciling my feelings for what he did. I will never forgive him."

Both men were silent for a few moments. Finally, Angel asked quietly, "What about me? How do you feel about me?"

Giles stared back at him, not answering.

"Please, Rupert. It's important. Our friendship is important to me."

His expression gave no hint as to what he was thinking or feeling. When Giles spoke, however, his voice shook with emotion. "As I said, intellectually I know it w-wasn't you but...when I look at you all I can...all I can s-see is Jenny's corpse lying on my bed."

"Rupert..."

"Let me finish!"

Angel shrank back from the whiplash anger in Giles' voice and his suddenly changed demeanor.

The Watcher got to his feet and paced restlessly in front of the fireplace. Stopping to lean one hand on the mantle, the other balled into a fist on his hip, keeping his back to his visitor, he said, "I trusted you. I trusted you with my friendship. I trusted you with Buffy. Lord knows that was going far beyond my duty as a Watcher. To let the Slayer date a vampire? Insanity! The Council would not have understood that no matter how I explained it. So I didn't."

In the silence that followed, Angel absorbed what he'd just learned. "You didn't tell them...about...about Buffy and me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because of Buffy." Giles turned to face him. "Because of our friendship -- yours and mine. You were an invaluable member of the team. It was bad enough that I allowed anyone to help Buffy let alone allow a vampire to know what we were doing."

"Kind of like letting the enemy know what the battle plan is."

"Precisely. The Council is comprised of men and women who do things the way they're expected to; the way it's always been done. I've found that with Buffy improvisation works best. They don't like my methods but they let me alone for the most part. Your participation would just be too much for them to understand. As it is, someday I'm going to bend the rules too far and the Council will finally be forced to deal with me." He smiled ruefully. "They would never understand you. I couldn't explain you nor your relationship with Buffy nor my friendship with you."

"Is that why you didn't tell them -- because you and I are friends? Are we still friends?"

Circling back to sit in his chair again, Giles answered, "I don't know."

Angel contemplated his hands. "Buffy told me you were upset with her keeping my return from Hell a secret."

Closing his eyes, Giles muttered, "Yet another blow to my self-esteem."

Startled by the admission, Angel said, "But you're one of the most self-assured men I know."

Giles looked at him. "I am?"

"Well, yeah. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've had anyone to talk to about history and philosophy and the times I've lived in? No one knows that stuff better than you -- it's almost as if you've lived them yourself."

"Surely other vampires..."

"Rupert, just because Spike and Dru and others have lived as long as I have doesn't mean they're interested in the past. Spike likes the nineties -- the nineteen nineties. He lives for the now. Dru, well, Dru is just nuts. But you, you have a love of history. I can hear it in your voice, see it in your eyes. You get so excited when you find information that is related to absolutely nothing to do with the latest demon to hit Sunnydale. It's easy to tell that it's the act of finding the information and the information itself that mean so much to you. After 90 years of having no one to talk to, no one to trust, you and Buffy became my whole life. Without either of you...I...I don't know what..."

"Angel..."

"Please. I have to say this or I never will."

Giles nodded and kept quiet.

"I didn't remember what I did to you -- what he did -- to Jenny, the others. Not at first. Buffy told me but only after I asked her to. What she said sickened me. What I finally remembered -- what I will never forget -- was the terror on Jenny's face as I chased her through the halls of the school. I will never forget you...you hanging onto your pride and your courage while I beat you and did my damnedest to break you the way I broke your bones."

He paused, searching Giles' face for some clue as to what was going on inside the Watcher's mind as they both relived the torment and the pain, the terror and the heartbreak. Giles yielded no expression and that in itself told Angel everything he needed to know.

He went on. "I was so confused after my return from Hell. Confused and weak. I've been trying to get my head straight just adjusting to being back. To being free. Knowing that I was physically responsible for Jenny's death and your torture was more than I could handle. That's why, last night, I tried to kill myself."

"What?" Giles was shocked.

"I went to the top of the hill overlooking the town and I was going to stay up there until the sun came up."

"You changed your mind?"

"No. Buffy found me and tried to argue me out of it. We were standing there fighting about it, minutes away from sunrise only the sun never came up. It snowed in Sunnydale with no prior sign that it would. Am I right?"

"Um, yes. That's right. Not even the meteorologists understand the anomaly."

"Nothing in your books?"

"I didn't look," Giles admitted.

"You didn't?" Angel was puzzled. "I thought that was the first thing you would have done."

"Didn't feel like it."

"That doesn't sound like you."

Wearily, Giles said, "You're not the only one giving up."

"Rupert, no! You can't. Buffy can't go on without you."

"She doesn't need me. You are what's most important to her."

"You're wrong."

Giles shifted uneasily. "We can argue about this all night."

"Then let's."

"Pardon?"

Angel spread his hands, a gesture of invitation. "Let's sit here and argue about it all night. I've got the time. Unless, you had something else to do."

Giles stared at him with narrowed eyes. "Not a thing."

"Then it'll be like old times. We can talk about whatever you want. If you don't want to talk about what's bothering you we can discuss the Minoans or something."

That got a slight smile. "I'm sure we can find something more interesting than the Minoans to talk about."

"Anything you like."

Giles stood up. "I know why you're doing this."

"Oh?"

Grinning at the innocent tone the vampire was using Giles headed into the kitchen, shedding his jacket as he went.

"Yes, you're going to try to draw me out. It won't work."

"Never hurts to try."

"Can I get you something to drink?" Giles called from the kitchen.

Blinking in surprise, Angel said, "Whatever you're having is fine with me."

Giles returned with two opened bottles of Guinness and handed one to Angel.

"Thanks." The vampire took a long swallow. "Ahh. That's one of the things I always liked about you, Rupert. Even though you're English you believe in cold beer."

Nodding, Giles said, "It's a sin to have it otherwise."

"Your fellow countrymen would have something to say about that."

"Sod them."

"Rupert!" Angel grinned broadly. "You really are in a mood tonight."

Giles tipped his bottle towards Angel's who mimicked the gesture and they each drank deeply.

Angel studied Giles. "You still haven't completely forgiven me have you?"

Meeting the vampire's eyes, Giles replied, "It might take a while to let go of my...anger."

"But you're willing to try."

There was only the slightest hesitation. "Yes."

"That's only fair."

Making himself more comfortable in his chair, Giles asked, "Did I ever tell you that I visited Galway once or twice?"

"Yeah, you did but tell me again. I'd like to hear about my homeland."

"Very well..."

~ end ~