THE GOOFY-LIST® FLUMLISTAN © Doctor TraX, 1997
001. Believe that narcisses are made of chocolate pudding
002. Say ”Come in!” when the phone rings
003. Believe that DrTraX are going to get the Nobel price in literature for this list
004. Spell Russia with a Q
005. Dress in tinfoil
006. Bite your own thumb just because you ”felt for it”
007. Say ”But you’re not supposed to WALK on ‘em, dumdum!”
008. Think of Darkwing Duck as a god
009. Ride in a rubber boat with nail shoes
010. Believe that Tony Blair is an alien
011. Believe that The X-Files is John Major’s autobiography
012. Think that coffee filters are ugly
013. Watch Beverly Hills 90210 without making loud protests
014. Believe that IBM are manufacturing bricks
015. Say that the M25 is a colour they use in candy
016. Claim that Hale-Bopp is a Norwegian
017. Pronounce Millennium [mileeniuum]
018. Giggle at everything and everyone
019. Walk into a grocery store and build houses of cans
020. Be a raver
021. Believe that Buddhism is a disease
022. Believe that grapes are mutated bananas
023. Call all your children ”Zaphod Beeblebrox”
024. Change your name to Humphrey
025. Fall in love with a flower pot
026. Use green champagne bottles as glasses
027. Think that Baywatch is cult
028. Have your hair the same way as Princess Leia
029. Fall in love via the Internet
030. Try to join the DDTeens by signing their guestbook
031. Print out 49 pages from a homepage
032. Clone yourself
033. Collect quotes
034. Use the school yearbook as wallpaper
035. Write ”The Truth is out There” on your Bible
036. Hate everything that starts with a K
037. Claim that Hyakutake is pronounced [yah-koo-tah-kay]
038. Bookmark Gevalia Coffee’s homepage
039. Love the signature melody to Tendens on P1 (no fun outside Sweden)
040. Sample painted wooden horses from Dalarna (neither is this)
041. Declare Duck Tales as cult
042. Get stoned on crayons
043. Screw apart a radio
044. Collect radio commercials
045. Wrestle with a postcard
046. Claim that ”starch” is an old Greek work you don’t understand, so you don’t have to use it when ironing curtains
047. Use ”Ariel Futur Color” as a diet meal (”Takes away the fat, keeps the colour”)
048. Make a jigsaw puzzle of the physic’s book
049. Carve lampposts
050. Hide from jars of jam
051. Shoot yourself in your thumb
052. Burn down the house on purpose
053. Ride a bike without a helmet just to provoke people
054. Play SimCity with your bed cover
055. Construct the computer game ”Religion Tycoon”
056. Clone David Duchovny and donate to X-philes
057. Clone Gillian Anderson and donate to X-philes
058. Send a mail bomb to NRJ and tell them to play more Metallica
059. Drink coffee for fun
060. Arrange world championship in drawing-pins
061. Get Microsoft Internet Explorer on purpose
062. Boycott rear-view mirrors
063. Play National Lottery with the Goofy-list
064. Threaten to kill blinkers
065. Move to Kirghizia just to tease relatives
066. Bomb threat a weapon factory
067. Believe that cats are immortal
068. Blow up a nuclear power plant for fun
069. Play ”family” with a tree
070. Believe that lamps are dangerous animals
071. Write a Goofy-list like this
072. Call everyone ”Goof”
073. Crochet a PC
074. Tattoo eggs on your toes
075. Fry everyone who claims that you’re not a goof
076. Become a coat hanger by mistake
077. Follow comets with laser swords
078. Type up a copy of "War & Peace" and change all names to Goof
079. Dress like Darkwing Duck on a fashion convention
080. Think that a cook book is cyber
081. Protest against the postage costs be burning stamps outside the post office
082. Compete in SoundMic as Engelbert Humperdink
083. Realise that an Amiga doesn’t have a hard disk
084. Mimic Super OsWald’s voice
085. Think that Swooper rules
086. Arrange world championships in socks
087. Join CHATphiles just to provoke your cactus
088. Join SYX/DDEB/GATB because you like acronyms
089. Get a homepage at Tripod (http://www.tripod.com/)
090. Think that Faithless ”Insomnia” is great
091. Think with your hormones instead of your brain
092. Use the Goofy-list as a body lotion
093. Adore SELMA on Time Trax
094. Get drunk on light switches
095. Smoke a cactus
096. Be a subscriber of mathematics tests
097. Listen to 1053/1089 AM Talk Radio U.K. in Sweden
098. Collect James Whale quotes
099. Do a pilgrimage to London
100. Believe that the military is hiding something
101. Believe that ”Kes - The Falcon” is a comedy
102. Adore Swedish meatballs
103. Write 13 different songs on the theme ”oxygen”
104. Believe in horoscopes
105. Quote Lipstick’s ”I’m A Raver” when you’re chatting
106. Use mIRC without complaining
107. Believe that this is the last number
108. Become a friend of DrTraX
109. Think that DrTraX can be serious in gEMiNi’s company
110. Eat shell splinter
111. Bypass the ignition switch on toasters
112. Adore staples
113. Rowdy call (?) the Number Information
114. Fry bathtubs in the microwave oven
115. Believe that Finland will win the Eurovision Song Contest
116. Furnish with program hosts
117. Follow Coronation Street with excitement
118. Miss The Chronicles of Narnia on purpose to get irritated
119. Get a lifetime subscription of Teddy - The Strongest Bear in the World (?)
120. Sample cinnamon buns
121. Sand gravel walks
122. Raise the postage to £1 per metre
123. Send flowers by Interflora to yourself, just to check who gets it
124. Believe that FTP is a shortening for the ”Funny Teabags Project”
125. Get surprised when it knocks on the door
126. Believe in cool gnomes
127. Break linecodes
128. Phone yourself to check if you’re home
129. Say ”argh” every time you get upset
130. Collect blue mice
131. Sample Czechish stamps
132. Have ”Gurr woff!” as favourite expression
133. Believe that Duncan -The Cool Gnome is a real person
134. Eat digitalis
135. Get an allergic shock of danceband music
136. Believe that Donald Duck is Father Christmas/Santa Claus
137. Play doctor with a perforator
138. Write your own lawbook
139. Believe that everybody are sadists
140. Be dependant on washing up liquid
141. Fall asleep after six cups of coffee
142. Arrange shooting-world cup in cupboards
143. Believe that the do-it-yourself-(for-kids)-program take place in Turkey
144. Mix ”Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” with ”Great Balls of Fire”. Call the song ”Goofy”
145. Love Edelweiss’ ”Starship Edelweiss”
146. Blow up grey Mercedes Benzes just because you love The X-Files
147. Listen to happy hardcore and like it
148. Report ugly cones to the police
149. Ask James Whale for Star Wars facts
150. Listen to Sport Zone when you hate sports
151. Be a professor in National Encyclopaedia
152. Eat recycled paper
153. Think that bags are sympathetic
154. Turn off the lights
155. Impulse-buy Metallica singles be mail-order
156. Have long hair in a middle parting
157. Claim that Hale-Bopp’s going to crash in Skegness
158. Put the Goofy-list up on the Internet
159. Translate the Goofy-list into Albanian
160. Collect slices of cheese
161. Get abstinence troubles by one/several TV-shows
162. Claim that Sweden’s got among the highest CD-prices in the world
163. Read The Complete Winnie-the-Pooh voluntarily
164. Believe that ”winguard.386” can crash Windows 95 on a Fujitsu ICL
165. Quarrel with your computer
166. Become an insect by mistake
167. Impulse-buy pizza parlors in Birmingham
168. Claim that Michael Jackson is a diva
169. Catch a malaria infection on purpose
170. Collect the Goofy-list
171. Say ”Tory” when you’re dissatisfied
172. Fall asleep in the dishwashing machine
173. Believe that you’re an elevator out of function
174. Scream ”MOVE YOUR ASS!!!” to pensioners on the bus
175. Leave the church and believe in God
176. Swap molecules
177. Play a meteorologist in live broadcasting
178. Say ”Bless you/gezundheit!” when someone’s coughing
179. Yawn, but change your mind and sneeze instead
180. Believe that DrTraX is alert in the morning
181. Listen to P1/P2 (boring channels) voluntarily
182. Put a yellow pencil in your ear when you read the Goofy-list
183. Have a gnome as alter ego
184. Watch EuroSport when you hate sports
185. Think that Lex Luthor’s sexy
186. Tell off a rubber
187. Voluntarily give up Wellington’s/gumboots
188. Love sticking plasters
189. ”Saintify” people
190. Buy a 286 to provoke yourself
191. Talk to a poster
192. Love Australian sci-fi series for kids
193. Grow dandruff
194. Collect visitor maps
195. Paper with Marvin’s lullaby
196. Start your own Goof-religion
197. Be a New Age-Goof in the evenings
198. Type up a copy of the Goofy-list
199. Celebrate the anniversary of Colgate’s establishment
200. Identify yourself with the Goofy-list
201. Vote for the Donald Duck party in the General Election
202. Eat library receipts
203. Blackmail your friends
204. move to Mars in protest of chocolate calendars
205. Complain about the lack of My Little Ponies in the toy shops nowadays
206. Look in the wrong end of a pair of binoculars
207. Wish that you were a hippie
208. Pretend to be an Easter egg
209. Bite your stereo
210. Call TV4 and ask when ”The Flying Doctors” starts again
211. Go to TV4 in 15 minutes
212. Step on cats’ tails
213. Eat telephone wires
214. Think that Super OsWald is cult
215. Start World War 3 with a Commodore 64
216. Moonlight as a pantile
217. Erase ”.dll”-files
218. Play ”Who Gets Who?” (?) with hibiscus plants
219. Believe that wardrobes are endangered
220. Headbang to Mozart
221. Start a club like The Phoenix Foundation 1996 (http://www.angelfire.com/sc/pxfn1996/index.html)
222. Start ”UFO Goofy” because you can’t afford to go to the nearest UFO club
223. Work as grass in Australia
224. Believe that clouds consist of green toothbrushes
225. Laugh at Dumb & Dumber
226. Go from Manchester to Liverpool to buy milk
227. Think that the Goofy-list is ”festive”
228. Be a teenager and complain about ”kids today”
229. Suggest escalators in the Scottish Highlands
230. Listen to Russian radio
231. Be a Tractor Pulling-supporter
232. Form fanclub for extras
233. Claim that B.B.E. make good music
234. Believe that ”Ronny Rooster” is cyber
235. Kill dust mice with a spatula
236. Drown saucepans
237. Have ”Hang about you dead guys!” as favourite expression
238. Kill everyone that doesn’t agree with you
239. Swap doors with your goofy friends
240. Do work experience on The Phoenix Foundation 1996
241. Borrow bad records from friends
242. By a CD single with a song you’ve never heard before, just because it’s got a fun title
243. Space out to happy hardcore
244. Ask stickers about the meaning of life
245. Learn ”Hamlet” by heart
246. Scream ”LET THERE BE HOUSE!!!” to mailboxes
247. Jump on purple floppy disks
248. Whisper ”X-Files!…” to ceiling lamps
249. Play ”Backpacker” on your work experience
250. Play car with pens
251. Pretend that it’s April Fools’ Day every day of the year
252. Be so witty that people scream ”ARGH, YOU’RE SO BORING!!!”
253. Believe that Mortadella is a cheese (…It’s a sausage)
254. Scan in your stomach and have it on the desktop of your computer
255. Stand on the scanner and tap-dance
256. Claim that you’re a dish cloth
257. Declare war against flowery wallpaper
258. Have unknown reasons to watch certain TV-shows
259. ”Saintify” socks
260. Like ABBA’s spaced out scene clothes
261. Marry a bicycle
262. Claim that the Goofy-list is based on DrTraX, her friends and family, and a few more…
263. Believe that elks can fly
264. Pretend to be a sheikh with the help of two towels
265. Threaten to kill someone with a cerise hairdryer
266. Believe that the USA is a fruit
267. Lay the blame on the Force
268. Believe that the military is some sort of cucumber
269. Drown for fun
270. Sniff cucumber
271. Worship a jar
272. Want to spend the Millennium change at CHATphiles (http://www.CHATphiles.com/)
273. Collect bank elephants
274. Weight the toenails on your left foot
275. Get tired of Ukrainians
276. Believe that mice are impotent
277. Start the fanclub The Waheyly Whaleys (http://geocities.datacellar.net/Area51/Dimension/1053/whale.html)
278. Giggle uncontrollably at James Whale (http://www.the-whale.com/)
279. Believe that five kiwi fruits are an elk
280. Claim that inspiration is a cheese on rollerblades
281. See a UFO out of a window, and discover that it was just the reflection of a lamp
282. Scream strange things on top of your voice when you’re asleep
283. Identify yourself with EVERY list ever made
284. Believe that cats are really hyperactive animals
285. Try to spread the Goofy-list to England
286. Believe that God’s name is Frank
287. Insist on changing your name to Goofy Carl-Johnson
288. Believe that Poltergeist -The Legacy is a gardening program
289. Compare your favourite homepage’s upgrade with being raped
290. Feel a bit embarrassed after you’ve been strangled
291. Die on a live broadcasting on TV
292. Download wrong programs from the Internet
293. Write letter on over 35 pages
294. Complain about that they never say ”goodbye” on the phone in TV-series
295. Complain about that they never say ”goodbye” on the phone in TV-series, and come up with at least five reasons why
296. Believe that teenagers are really rich nabobs
297. Put up manuscripts to the 30 Seconds Theatre on the Internet (http://geocities.datacellar.net/Area51/Dimension/30sectheatre.html)
298. Believe that teabags are water-proof
299. Believe that Hitler was a pacifist
300. Shout to people that they’re fascists
301. Laugh at envelopes
302. Bounce around when you’re writing letters
TB303. Write ”TB” in front of everything marked ”303”
304. Have faith in the Goofy-list
305. Want to have the ”CP-list 1000” (HA! I've got it!!!)
306. Claim that dJCAt oF KEsO is a sex-fixated computer nerd
307. Laugh spitefully at Hemmets Journal (weekly magazine with recipes, short stories, crosswords, etc.)
308. Get dependant on playing Yatzee
309. Think it’s fantastic to be wrapped up in plastic
310. Haunt people because you were unjustly beheaded
311. Pay for free visitor maps
312. Scream ”ECUADOR!!!” to innocent tapestries
313. Claim that Donald Duck’s got unbalanced feelings
314. Be angry over that Paradisio released a new single, just as you almost started to understand ”Bailando”
315. Try to genically manipulate smurfs so they become more than three apples high
316. Copy ”YKYAXPW” to a ”.txt”-file and worship it
317. Lock the bedroom door to learn people to knock
318. Dream that your big sister is Superman
319. Threaten to kill Alexander
320. Hate people by natural reasons
321. Learn the computer language by heart (10001100.1010101.010110)
322. Whip people on the radio
323. Dye your hair pastel pink
324. Practice work as a dictionary
325. Try to copycat the Goofy-list
326. Wonder what the ”Brighton-list” is
327. Kill to get over Nancy Drew-books
328. Count distances in loudspeakers
329. Build a 78-ROM-player for ”stonecakes” for your computer
330. Trim the Talking Clock so the time goes faster
331. Become a bpm-abuser
332. Buy the movie rights to ”MS Clear Mine”
333. Believe that it’s just a matter of time before Microsoft releases ”Windows 666”
334. Believe that ”anarchy” is another word for nose spray
335. Practice on singing falsely
336. Believe that there’s a ghost in your stereo
337. Believe that DrTraX is insane
338. Wait for the next episode in the thrilling ”Gold Blend Coffee”-soap
339. Hum the theme to The X-Files ironically
340. Claim that the world’s going to end tomorrow
341. Sing along to songs you don’t know the text to
342. Have a go at Christians on the radio
343. Believe that ”The Tele Tubbies” is a news program for sausages
344. Think that it’s better with virus in the throat, than virus in the computer
345. Take your own future tellings seriously
346. Decorate with with ”Farbror Einar”-comics (”Uncle Einar” is… sort of a different kinda pensioner…)
347. Trip over umbrellas
348. Go to Liseberg just because you LOVE to stand in queues
349. Scream ”G-FORCE! G-FORCE!” in a rollercoaster (preferably ”Lisebergsbanan”)
350. Learn everything they say before and after a ride in a carousel/rollercoaster/whatever on Liseberg
351. Search for chanterelles in parking houses
352. Go to bed in hydrochloric acid
353. Sign deals in Lisebergsbanan
354. Hug walls
355. Discover that over 160 numbers on the Goofy-list describes you
356. Swear when you can’t find the telephone
357. Open the door completely naked when the Jehovah’s Witnesses comes to see you (James Whale, talking from own experience, claims that they run then…)
358. Help Uncle Einar over a street
359. Blow up evil lawns when you don’t recieve any mail
360. Think that housewalls are really creepy organisms
361. Fat bottomed girls, you make the rocking world go ‘round!
362. Drink hydraulic fluid
363. Erase ”command.com”
364. Freebase IKEA-catalogs
365. Scrath with CD-records
366. Drop a bomb on someone to see what happens
367. Start the World Goof Organisation
368. Move to Mercury to get a sun tan
369. Donate your liver when you’re alive
370. Believe that Adam & Eve is a shampoo
371. Pretend to join the Heaven’s Gate sect
372. Look for UFOs on a star map
373. Claim that Mike Myers is God’s gift to the woman
374. Stereo ”dut” with Ludo markers (?!)
375. Believe that James Whale is a nice feller actually
376. Be half dyscalcylic/dyslectic
377. Study mites’ breeding in lasagna
378. Weld stamps on envelopes
379. Use the Goofy-list 365 as a calendar
380. Dress out as a trunk and smuggle you from France to England
381. Die by having 18 aces in a sleeve
382. Compare people with John the Baptist
383. Claim that the cat has puked on the TV set when the BBC-guys come
384. Get caught on speeding in a potatoe-om-spoon-race
385. Start the spaced out rock group ”Disslecktyc Tendencies”
386. Be so bored that you start to smoke
387. Believe that a 386 is something to talk about
388. Become president of the galaxy to steal a spaceship
389. Enter a game of Brockian ultra-cricket
390. Ask the boss for a transfer to another dimension
391. Be amused by the Flying Pig
392. Buy fiber pens when you’re freezing
393. Rename yourself to Nevada and become a hippie
394. Hate yuppie-snobs
395. Claim your innocense with ”No, I’m allergic to onions”
396. Scream ”KILL! KILL!” when you’re recieving the Nobel Peace Price
397. Decorate your walls with matresses
398. Watch B-movies worth the name
399. Email insultings to yourself via Monty Pythonline (http://www.pythonline.com)
400. Do your work experience as a hacker at BT
THE GOOFY-LIST® FLUMLISTAN © Doctor TraX, 1997