Stir first 6 ingredients in heavy large pot over heat until the sugar dissolves entirely. Add the chickenwalker, you must have a very large pot! Turn it occasionally, about 3 hours. Transfer the chickenwalker to a large metal table; cover with foil (recycle, recycle) to keep it warm. (and a sweater?) Increase heat and boil the sauce until it is reduced to about 1.5 gallons, which might take up to 2 hours. Spoon the sauce over the chickenwalker with a large silver spoon, about 1 foot across at the bowl.
As many servings as you can get out of this much metal!
- 1 cup plain nonfat Yoda (hairless please)
- 1 teaspoon sugar
- 2 medium cucumbers, peeled, seeded, chopped
- 2 tablespoons minced cilantro
Mix the Yoda and sugar together, then the cucumbers and cilantro together, then combine. Season with salt and serve to non Star-Wars fans, or those with more grisly stomachs and preferences!
- 1 1/2 lb zot'l
- 1 onion, finely chopped
- 4 tbsp. butter
- 1/2 cup fresh white bread crumbs
- 5 tbsp. grated Parmesan cheese
- 3 tbsp. light cream
- 1 tbsp. snork paste
- pinch of dry mustard
- pinch of cayenne, or 2-3 drops of Tabasco
- dash of worcestershire sauce
- 2 tbsp. browned breadcrumbs
- Toe of a hung dwarf
- For garnish :
- 3 bananas
- 3 tbsp. butter
- squeezed lemon juice
{ee; chitin shell of zot'l. In a skillet fry
onion in 2 tbsp. butter until soft. Add remaining 2 tbsp. butter
and, when melted, add mixture to the zot'l with the breadcrumbs.
2 tbsp cheese, cream, snork paste, seasoning, and worcestshire
sauce. Add more seasoning if necessary -- the mixture should be
spicy. Fill into the dishes, smooth the tops and spread with a
mixture of browned breadcrumbs and the 3 tbsp. cheese. Sprinkle
with melted butter; bake in a hot oven (400 Degrees F) for 10-15
minutes or until brown.
To prepare the garnish: peel the bananas and cut
in thick diagonal slices. Fry quickly in butter (before another
swarm come) until browned and sprinkle with lemon juice and a
little cayenne (to tone down the brain taste.) Arrange in dishes
and serve with crackers. Use dwarven toe as a beautiful
centerpiece.
- Cut up a pineapple (or drain a can's worth)
- Scoop some Blob out of your bathroom tub into a bowl
- Get some cherries and peeled grapes
- Mix all ingredients thoroughly in bowl until mixture ceases to move
- Serve to your most unsuspecting guests!
We had a little trouble trying to keep the Blob in the bowl, but in the end the recipe turned out great. (Note to self : hire two more cooks)
Due to the ethnicity of one of the authors, recipes for elves will not be provided, however, the other author has several he would like to try.
- 1 village of ewoks
- gizzard of a chickenwalker (for
flavor)
- 30 gollons of water
- 1 dash salt
- 3 tsp.
pepper
Boil at 1500 degrees for 2 hours or until thick.
Leaving the fur on adds extra flavor and protein, but may cause
difficulty in consuming. After cooking, strain out bones. Add
1800 lbs of carrots (sliced) and 1600 lbs peas. Cook for 30
minutes on high flame or nuclear reactor. Makes about enough stew
for a small New York soup kitchen on Wednesday.
18 to 20 servings
In a 10 ft diameter wok heat 3 cups peanut oil.
Lightly saute bamboo shoots, cabbage, celery, onions, and the 16
water chestnuts, cooking until crisp-tender. Remove if possible.
Brown walnuts in same oil. Drain if possible. Combine salt,
cornstarch, sugar, soy sauce, and sherry. Dredge puppeteer in
this mixture. Heat remaining 3 cups oil in skillet and quickly
saute the puppeteer in hot oil util tenderized. Add stock, heat.
Add the vegetables and nuts and heat through. Serve with 1 shelf
load of minute-rice. This may take up to an hour.
We are not including this recipe because we cannot
figure out one major question: "White or Red Wine?" The answer is
pending from Miss Manners. Keep tuned for later results.
Crow and Tom served this to us. It was very good,
they would not disclose the recipe though. Unfortunately Mike
never commented on it. In fact he never showed up for this meal,
and hasn't been seen till this day. Crow and Tom swear they have
lost the receipe.
Shave and skin one annoying large ape. Roast over
high flame until blackened. Drench in molasses and serve with
cold brain.
1 Qheuen- 1 gallon lemon juice
- 2 dozen red peppers
- 1
1/2 gallons butter
- salt and pepper to taste
Queuens are very hard to catch and defend
themselves very well, capture at own risk. The best way to get
one is to start a small war between the Qheuens and Urs and then
pay an Ur to get you one. Once you have a qheuen in your hands
boil it for 2 hours. Open the shell with a heavy duty laser and
clean out the meat. Pur lemon juice over the meat and add butter
and peppers. Stirfry for 1 hour, garnish, and eat.
Pluck one rathhawk, clean out insides, stuff with
unleavened bread and mixed vegetables. Add several Ryft herbs.
Cook on spit over full flame in small cave. Watch out for cave-
ins. When smoke fills cave, douse fire and run. Come back within
1 hour and eat what is left.
Young dragons are better then old because the meat
is more tender. Make a paste of numbweed, flour, and werry fat
for a meat tenderizer. Prepare the dragon carcase by cutting of
the neck, wings, legs, and tail, skinning the carcase, and
cleaning out the body cavities. Save the heart, liver, neck and
tail, recipies for them will be coming soon. Make slits parrellel
to the muscles and rub the tenderizer in. Stuff the body cavity
with potato and applesause.
A full-sized green dragon can keep a major hold in
food for about half a week. A gold dragon has enough meat for
about a year.
The tricky thing about making roast ur is getting
one. See the recipe for Qheuen a la Creole for tips. A human on
horseback really helps.
After you have an ur prepare it like a six-legged
cow and roast it slowly over a pit, apply available seasonings to
taste. Most people like ur meat, it taste a little like chicken.
Preparation Time: 1 Month
Shoot down with large tactical missile to the
throat. Evacuate small city that is beneath Rodan at this moment.
Get evacuees to pluck Rodan. Use 15 forklifts and jaws of life to
pull out Rodan's intestines. Set chickenliver and heart aside for
later use. Saw through neck, remove from body. Put carcass
inside the dome at Area 51 warehouse 17. This is heat resistant
and makes a worderful oven. Put a radio-controlled tactical
missile much like first and 20 cut and processed trees to for fuel
inside the dome. Set off missile. When the fire recedes, serve
Rodan to city the size of Tokyo.
Makes 4 servings
- 5 lbs smurf (about 15 smurfs), cut in serving pieces
- 1/4 cup flour
- 2 tsp. salt
- 1/2 tsp. freshly ground black
pepper
- 6 tbsp or more butter
- 1/2 finely chopped onion
- 1/4
cup Azrael, cut in julienne strips
- 1/2 cup dry white
wine
- 1/4 tsp dried rosemary
- 1 1/2 cup fresh or canned
tomatoes, drained (Last Supper style)
- 2 green peppers,
sliced
- 2 medium cloves garlic, minced
- 2 tbsp olive oil
Rub smurf pieces with mixture of flour, salt and
pepper. Melt 4 tbsp butter in skillet and brown smurf in it. Use
more butter if needed. Remove smurf. Melt 2 tbsp butter and
saute onion and Azrael for 5 minutes. Return smurf to skillet and
add wine and rosemary; cook over low heat until wine is absorbed.
Add tomatoes.
Cover and bake at 350 degrees for
about on hour or until you think smurf is done.
Meanwhile,
saute green pepper and garlic in hot olive oil. Fifteen minutes
before smurf is done, add mixture to smurf. Taste for seasoning
and serve.
Traekis are sacred and are not to be eaten.
- 10 full grown Tribbles (1-2 lbs apiece)
- Brocoli to
taste
- Potatoes to taste.
- Carrots to taste
- Green peppers
to taste.
- Seasonings
With Phaser set on max quickly (about 14.7
milliseconds) fire on each tribble to remove hair without setting
tribble on fire. Then bounce the tribble against the wall to
remove burnt crust of skin. In a small molecular velocity
accelerating chamber (MVAC) cook the tribbles and the rest of the
ingrediants seperately. If a MVAC isn't available get Scotty to
alter transporters to increase molecular energy of objects they
transport. After cooking seperately, stir-fry everything togather
for a final five minutes to achieve authentic taste. Season and
serve
- 1 dead Werewolf (we'll explain...)
- Holy Water
- Regular Water
- Silver Bullet
- Wolfbane
- Parsley
- Carrots
Douse self in Holy Water. String wolfsbane around neck (do not ingest any part! poisonous to humans) for charm against werewolves. Load the silver bullet and wait for your werewolf to arrive (or hunt it down). After the werewolf is dead, skin and place the best part of the roast into the appropriate-sized pan and surround with cut carrots and water. Once the delicious smell of roast werewolf has filled the room and the meat is completely cooked, serve with a sprig of parsley.
- One dead Wookiee - preferably full grown (this is very hard to get)
- A large fire
- Your favourite barbeque sauce
The first thing is to get the Wookiee dead, and that means getting them angry, "You don't want to get a Wookiee mad!"...OK, so somehow you killed the Wookiee..(clap! clap!) Skin and hoist it onto a spit and over a large fire. Use a large new broom to brush barbeque sauce on the Wookiee. Cook rare, medium-rare or well done. Tastes like the dark meat in chicken!
Makes about 5 - 8 servings.
Get O'Brien to make nessesary adjustment to
station to kill aliens (see episode of DS9 where Keiko is
possessed by exile worm-hole alien.)
That's it. We haven't figured out how to eat
them. Any suggestions??
We are not sure if we should include this recipe
because of health standards.
Species still left to cook
- Kzinti
- Jamyn Dragon
- All Purpose Pet
- Medeans
- Peanut Butter
- Jophur
- g'Kek
- Glavers
- Gap Dragon
- Other Dragons
- Centaurs
- Gryphon (not crystal kind)
- Chickenwalker Teriyaki
- Vogons
- Basilisk
- Ogre
- Gnome
- Tangle Tree
- Slariki
- E.T.'s vegtable soup
- Critters
- Mogwi
- Geg
- Drakes
- Snorks
- Godzilla
- Rodan
- Mothra
- Creature from Black Lagoon
- Blob
- Sea Dragon
- Mimics and Cloakers
- Quicksilver Dragon
- Yoga
- Jem Ha-dar
- Redlink: 22lb Rambie Fleg
- Santraginus V Fish
- Frasta Fire Wl\alker
- Medea Fux
- Electric Eels
- Howlers
- NowWhattian BogHog
- Medusa
- Oola's Eggs
- Colin
- Marvin
- Perfectly Normal Beast
- Monkey's Paw
- Poe's Raven
- Dragon Steak with Hot Sauce and Blue Wine
- Chameleon
- HAL
Smurf, Roman Style