It's pretty important to have help on this recipe to produce a quality product - and to watch out to see if Mom is coming.

Preparation :

Break into Madison Square Garden when Mom is away. This will only work if the eggs are newly laid and have not started developing into little godzillas yet.

Get the fire crew to fill your oil drum with water from a hydrant. Add a little salt and use your crane to lower the drum onto prepared bonfire.

Attach sling to crane and carefully roll egg into sling. Raise and carefully lower egg into the drum without breaking it. Bring water to a rolling boil and boil egg for ten to fifteen minutes.

Remove egg from oil drum with sling and crane, place onto large plastic sheet. Use small construction tools to break egg and peel away pieces of shell. Discard shell.

Slice egg in half with sword or laser. If using laser, be careful not to slice pavement, crowd and vehicles in half. Carefully manipulate so boiled whites are lying on their backs. Use shovels to remove yolk into mixing bowl. Add mayonnaise and mustard. Mash and mix thoroughly until a creamy texture is achieved.

Use shovels to spoon yolk mixture back into the whites. Dangle one of your partners off of the end of the crane to sprinkle paprika, pepper and cayenne pepper on the top of the yolks.

Pass plastic forks out to your crew and the crowd and dig in.