Q: How many police officers does it take to a throw criminal down the stairs?
A: None, he slipped.

Joke #29

Bill emerges from the bathroom - naked - and climbs into bed with his wife. As usual, she says: "I have a headache."
"Perfect!" Bill says. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my cock with aspirin. Now, do you want to take it orally, or as a suppository?"

Joke #30

Q: What has two legs and bleeds profusely?
A: Half a dog.

Joke #31

A young journalism student at the University of Tennessee was assigned to write a human interest story. He went into the mountains to do some research. There, he found an old farmer sitting on his porch, introduced himself, and explained his mission.  The young man asked, "Has anything ever happened around here that made you really happy?"  After a moment, the farmer said, "Yeah, one time my neighbor's daughter, a fine looking gal, got lost. We formed a posse and found her. After we all screwed her, we took her back home."  "I can't print that!" the young man exclaimed. "Can't you think of anything else that happened that made you happy?"  The farmer thought for a minute and smiled, "Yep! One time a neighbor's sheep got lost. We formed a posse and found it. Then we all screwed it and took it back home."  Again, the young man said "I can't print that, either. Let's try another approach. Has anything ever happened around here that made you really sad?"  The old farmer dropped his head as if he were ashamed, and after a few seconds he looked up timidly at the young man and said, "This one time, I got lost."