Signs

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered

throughout the world. You have to give the writers an "A" for Effort. I hope

you enjoy them. In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotels towels

please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read

this notice.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is bring fixed for the next day. During

that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing

floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a

number of the wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by

national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office

between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job

of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery: You

are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers,

artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors

during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup

with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef

rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking. In a Rhodes tailor

shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers

in strict rotation.

From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow exhibition of Arts by 150,000

Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past

two years.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our

black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men

and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other

for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the

opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this

purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest

Methodists.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon

having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours

- we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for Donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like a ride on your

own ass.

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner is

dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in

all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR,

you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in

the bar.

In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable

food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Acapulco hotel: - The manager has personal passed all the water served

here. - Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are the best

in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using the hotel air conditioner:

Cools and Heats: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please

control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave

in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still

obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: - English well speaking - Here

speaking American.

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