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This ranks very high on the weird meter. --Quinn Mallory; Sliders; "Double Cross"
I just got kicked in the stomach. (Are you all right?) Yeah--good thing I'm not six inches taller. --Quinn Mallory; Sliders; "Prince of Slides"
Nothing is ever easy. --Zeddicus Z'ul Zorander; Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind
Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind? Or is it so possible that your head is spinning like a top? Or is your whole world just crashing down all around you? --Cosmo Kramer; Seinfeld
Is there a history of insanity in your family? --?
SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!! --Jerry Maguire; Jerry Maguire
You are not in my shoes. * Too bad. You'd be surprised at what I can do in size 18 boots. --Worf, Jadzia Dax; Star Trek: DS9
Never mind, I don't need that particular image running around in my head. No, no, I don't need that image, either. In fact, I think I'll just stop asking that question altogether. --Dr. Julian Bashir; Star Trek: DS9; "Looking for Par'Mach in All the Wrong Places"
That was insane! We could have died! * Been there, done that. Let's go. --Deera, Quinn Mallory; Sliders; "Slide Like an Egyptian"
Trust me. Short, green, and moldy is not a great look. --Quinn Mallory; Sliders; "Dead Man Sliding"
With all this lip smacking, how could I hear anything? --Odo; Star Trek: DS9; "Ascent"
And I can finally sit on a chair and know with absolute certainty that it isn't you! --Quark to Odo after Odo becomes a solid; Star Trek: DS9
I've seen drier days on Ferenginar...and we have 178 different words for rain. --Quark; Star Trek: DS9; "Paradise Lost"
His skull is transparent! * If you couldn't see his brain, would it make you feel any better? --Worf, Dax; Star Trek:DS9; "Paradise Lost"
They are dedicated to being unhappy, and they spread that unhappiness everywhere they go! They are the ambassadors of unhappy! --Dr. Bashir; Star Trek:DS9
Well, you're still disgusting. * Till the day I die. --Odo, Quark; Star Trek:DS9
You never really dropped a baby, did you? * No...good thing they bounced. --Wade Welles, Quinn Mallory; Sliders
You obtuse piece of flotsam! --Q; Star Trek:TNG; "All Good Things..."
I'll see if I can get the Klingons' attention. --Admiral Riker, just before making several Klingon ships look like titanium pieces of Swiss cheese; Star Trek:TNG; "All Good Things..."
Everything you know--your entire civilization--it all begins right here in this little pond of goo. --Q; Star Trek:TNG; "All Good Things..."
You'll never take me alive--'cause I got your whistle! --Mickey Dolenz; The Monkees
To call that quack a quack is to insult every genuine quack in the medical field! --Professor Arturo; Sliders
I could explain it for hours, it wouldn't make a difference. --Quinn Mallory; Sliders; "As Time Goes By"
Carpe diem is what happened to me! --Rembrandt Brown; Sliders; "Double Cross"
Find God now, son! Don't wait! --Quinn Mallory; Sliders; "The Guardian"
Quinn is no more a wizard than that door knocker! --Professor Arturo; Sliders; "Dragonslide"
Do you think I'm spooky? --Fox Mulder; The X-Files; "Squeeze"
He'd stand out in a crowd with ten-inch fingers. --Fox Mulder; The X-Files; "Squeeze"
Oh, haven't you heard, Doctor? I change my mind every day. --Colonel Rickman; Sliders; "This Slide of Paradise"
Believe the lie. --The X-Files (opening sequence); "Gethsemane"
Your home, shotgun, not mine. --Mike Nesmith; The Monkees
What's the matter, Dukat? Haven't you ever seen a Klingon before? --Captain Sisko; Star Trek:DS9; "Broken Link"
If this is some kind of cosmic joke, I frankly fail to see the humor. --Luna; Sailor Moon
I've been sliding through an interdimensional wormhole seeing how many ways people like you can screw up civilization! --Quinn Mallory; Sliders; "Fever"
Think of it, Julian. If this works, you'll be able to irritate hundreds of people you've never even met. --Chief O'Brien; Star Trek:DS9; "Dr. Bashir, I Presume"
I protest. I am not a merry man! --Worf "Will Scarlet"; Star Trek: TNG; "Q-pid"
I don't think I'm cut out to be captain. First officer, maybe. I understand there aren't many qualifications. --Counselor Troi to Commander Riker; Star Trek: TNG; "Disaster"
Nervous? Don't be silly. Look at how slowly I'm twitching. --Peter Tork; The Monkees
You'll have to try harder, and don't yell at me, I only work here. --Magic Mirror; The Monkees
Behind every dark cloud, there's usually rain. --Mike Nesmith; The Monkees
Time has no dominion. --James T. Kirk; Avenger by William Shatner
That's right, baby. And fish can swim. --Mike Nesmith; The Monkees
That was a wicked googly! --Jerry Seinfeld; American Express commercial
You could, if that amused you. And if you had no more compelling use for your time. --Ian Malcolm; The Lost World(novel) by Michael Crichton
He had to go. --Fox Mulder; The X-Files; "Pusher"
Yes yes, this time without the oops. --David; Independence Day
I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'Wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair and all the terrible things that happen to us came because we actually deserve them?' So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe. --Marcus; Babylon 5; "A Late Delivery from Avalon"
We are the music-makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. --Willy Wonka; Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (movie)
Do, or do not. There is no try. --Yoda; The Empire Strikes Back
I’m gonna be bookless. --Raymond Babbitt; Rain Man
Are you taking any prescription medication? --Raymond Babbitt; Rain Man
I’m sorry, but I have enough sticks right now. --Quark; Star Trek: DS9; “Move Along Home”
Of course I remember her. How many green people are there? --Boq; Wicked by Gregory Maguire
I am not as tart as a grape and not as squished as a lettuce. --Elphaba; Wicked by Gregory Maguire
Gung, gung, gung. --Worf, Dr. Bashir, Kirayoshi O’Brien; Star Trek:DS9; “Time’s Orphan”
A child, a moron, a failure, and a psychopath. --Brunt (FCA) to Nog, Rom, Gaila, and Lek; Star Trek: DS9; “The Magnificent Ferengi”
I am breaking up with you. --George, Noel; Seinfeld
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
(Quotes from Douglas Adams' infamous "trilogy"!)
Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is. --The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; THHGTTG
If there’s anything more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot--now! --Zaphod Beeblebrox; THHGTTG
In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. --The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; THHGTTG
Ford, you’re turning into a penguin. Stop it. --Arthur Dent; THHGTTG
Life! Don’t talk to me about life. --Marvin the Paranoid Android; THHGTTG
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. --The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; THHGTTG
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. --The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; THHGTTG
Please feel free to blither now. --Mostly Harmless
Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though. --Introduction to Mostly Harmless
It’s just that in your case the consequences of not knowing any of this stuff are particularly terrible, but then, hey, that’s just the way the cookie gets completely stomped on and obliterated. --Mostly Harmless
*Remember: This list is constantly being updated!*
"Under the Sea"
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