Days have passed since the encounter and defeat of his shadow. The Lexx
continues it's endless search through the cosmos for a place to call home.
Kai is regaining his emotions for some odd reason, but stranger still is the
fact that 790 and Stanley Tweedle are almost getting along.
790
"Look at them Tweedle, always holding hands together, it makes me sick to
see her with any but I. Oh if only I had a body so that I may be with the
cluster woman of my dreams... Insted she's hanging around with that stiff."
STAN
"Hey pal, i'm human and she wont even look at me!"
790
"Why would she want you when she could have me Stan? I surpass you on
all levels, especially intelligence. But then again a Gulbarion Wombat could
do that."
STAN (Mockingly)
"But can you do this?"
STAN SLOWLY LIFTS HIS HAND TO HIS NOSE AND GIVES IT A GENTLE PULL
790
"Stanley Tweedle, I dispise you..."
790'S EYES DISSAPEAR AND ARE REPLACED BY AN IMAGE OF STANS HEAD BEING POUNDED NUMEROUS TIMES BY A MALLOT LIKE OBJECT.
WITH A WHISTLE STAN GET'S UP AND WALKS AWAY LEAVING 790 ALONE ON THE BRIDGE. AS STAN APPROCHES THE HANGAR HE NOTICES ZEV AND KAI ENGAGED IN A LONG LIP LOCK.
STAN
Um, hello? Please stop doing this. The Lexx needs to refill it's energy
conduits so we're about to land. Hold on to something.
ZEV AND KAI IGNORE STAN AND REMAIN IN EACH OTHERS EMBRACE.
ZEV
Stanley, could you go away for a while? Kai just got his emotions back and
i'm trying to test them out. So GO AWAY!
STAN
But Zev...
STANS WORDS ARE CUT SHORT BY WHAT HE REFERS TO AS "THE LOOK" AND HE BEGINS TO SLINK AWAY IN FEAR.
STAN
Fine then... I, i'm leaving...
THE LEXX COMPLETES IT'S LANDING SEQUENCE AND IN NO TIME HAS SETTLED ON A DESOLATE PLANET.
STAN (Picking up 790)
I hope this planet doesn't have anything on it that want to chop us up and
use us for pattern like the last one did.
FLASHBACK OF WHISK.
STAN
But then again...
Lexx estimated time untill you've completed feeding?
LEXX (In a resonating Voice)
Approximatly 7 hours and 13 minutes Stan.
790
Quit talking Tweedle, and PUT ME DOWN! I can't stand these creepy
plantets. I must remain with Zev and watch over her... Men are such Pigs!
If I leave her alone for a minute I know that Kai will try something, I just
know it!
STAN (Clearly disgusted)
And I thought I had it bad...
CUT TO MOTH LEAVING THE LEXX.
CUT TO ZEV AND KAI ON THE BRIDGE.
KAI
Now that my emotions have returned I can see that your beauty surpasses
even that of my home planet Brunus.
KAI REACHES OUT FOR HER HAND AND SHE GIVES IT TO HIM.
KAI
If only I were captain of the Lexx, I would be able to see all the planets
from my past without having to count on my less than noble friend Stan to
take me there.
ZEV (Laughing)
Oh, Kai. Now we can all see what a coward Stan is. Before it was just me
and 790.
ZEV GIVES A SOFT MOAN AND HUGS KAI.
ZEV (Sleazy like)
You know, I WAS turned into a sex slave, and as of yet, my desires have
not been fulfilled.
KAI (Dreamy)
If only I could guide the Lexx, it would give me such pride. My ancestors
would be proud of me.
ZEV
You know Kai, I might be able to help arrange that...
KAI
Thank you Zev.
ZEV AND KAI EMBRACE AGAIN AND ZEV DOES NOT NOTICE THE DARK FILM THAT MOMENTARILY COVERS HIS EYES...
CUT TO THE PLANETS SURFACE
STAN
It seems to be uninhabited.
790
I'm picking up life readings all around, I don't understand...
STAN (Sarcastically)
Gee, that's a first.
STAN AND 790 BRING THE MOTH TO REST ON THE SOFT SAND AND DISEMBARK.
STAN
I've got a bad feeling about this place.
790
You say that about all the planets, Tweedle. Because of you my Zev is
who knows where, doing who knows what with a corpse...
STAN STARES TRANSFIXED BY A SHINY OBJECT.
790
...It could be me! But no, "let's go exploring" he says. Then he chickens out
when we finally get there...
STAN APPROACHES THE OBJECT AND PICKS IT UP.
790
...I would almost rather be with Leather Ass than you, but NO! "I'm Stan
the invincible", "I'm Stan the conquerer", "I'm St..."
STAN (Cutting off 790)
Take a look at this.
STAN OPENS HIS HANDS TO REVEAL A MULTI FACETED GEM.
STAN
It must be worth a fortune! 790, can you tell if there are any others?
790
I detect many articles of their nature and substance. What a fine gift it
would make for Zev.
STAN SCAMPERS AROUND FRANTICALLY COLLECTING ALL THE GEMS HE CAN FIND.
790
Stan, the life forms are getting closer, I think we had better leave...
STAN (Still collecting Gems)
Just a few more minutes, O.K.? Mmmm, so many to choose from, but where
to begin?
790
STAN!! The life forms are upon us! Let's get the heck out of here!
STAN
Hold on, i'm almost done.
BEFORE ANOTHER WARNING COULD BE SHOUTED TWO GIANT HANDS ERUPT FROM THE EARTH. ONE GRABS STAN BY THE LEG, THE OTHER GRABS 790. IN A FEW SHORT SECONDS THEY HAVE BOTH BEEN DRAGGED UNDER THE SAND.
CUT TO BRIDGE OF THE LEXX.
KAI
Your plan sounds like it might just work, Zev.
ZEV
I know, you will have the power to do whatever you want with the Lexx,
and if I make you happy, i'm happy.
KAI (With a kiss)
But first,
(Another kiss)
I believe,
(Yet another)
That we have some unfinished business to attend to.
ZEV (Giggling)
Finally!
ZEV AND KAI WALK OFF TOGETHER TOWARDS THE CREWS PRIVATE CABINS...
SOMEWHERE FAR UNDERGROUND...
STAN
Where am I?
790
I have no prior information about this location. If only Zev were here, she
would guide us to safety!
STAN
The only thing she's guiding right now is Kai's...
STAN WINCES IN PAIN AT THE THOUGHT OF ZEV BEING WITH ANOTHER MAN.
STAN
Let's just find a way out of here O.K.? We need to get back to the Lexx.
SAND BEING (In a rasping voice)
I'm afraid that would be impossible.
THE BEING STEPS INTO THE LIGHT AND TWO SHINING GEMS CAN PLAINLY BE SEEN IN THE LOCATION OF EYES.
SAND BEING
You have desecrated the bodies of our dead, and for that you will pay...
with your lives.
STAN
I didn't do anything! Honest! I never touched your dead!
SAND BEING
Then who is this??
A POWERFUL PSIONIC BLAST HITS STAN AND HE IS SHOWN THE VISION OF WHEN HE WAS COLLECTING GEMS IN THE DESERT.
STAN
That wasn't me! Or, ummmm... he made me do it!
STAN POINTS AN ACCUSING FINGER AT 790.
790
Stanley Tweedle, you are less than a man.
SAND BEING (Noticing 790 for the first time)
It, it cannot be!
(Shouting for the others)
Xofgoth has returned! Come quick! Xofgoth has returned!
790
Who is this Xofgoth character?
WITHOUT AN ANSWER THE SAND BEING PICKS UP 790 AND MELDS INTO THE SOIL.
STAN
Hey! What about me?
SILENCE ANSWERS HIS QUESTION, SO HE BEGINS TO MAKE HIS WAY ALONG THE TUNNELS.
CUT TO ZEV AND KAI IN A PRIVATE CABIN.
KAI
Wait a minute Zev. I cannot do this. There is something wrong on the
planet. Do you feel it?
ZEV
I feel a slight shivering, but I thought it was just my body.
KAI
Stop. Listen. Feel the earth.
THEY BOTH STOP MOVING FOR A SECOND.
ZEV
Kai your right!
SUDDENLY THE LEXX BEGINS TO SHAKE VIOLENTLY AND IT LURCHES UNDER THE SAND.
ZEV
Wha, what's happening?
KAI
I believe we are being pulled underground.
CUT TO EXTERIOR VIEW OF THE LEXX DISSAPEARING UNDERGROUND.
LONG MINUTES PASS...
ZEV
It's stopped.
KAI
We'd better go check on the Lexx.
ZEV AND KAI APPROACH AN EXIT.
KAI
We appear to be in a tunnel of some sort.
790
Hi everyone!
ZEV AND KAI SPIN AROUND AND SEE 790 RESTING ON A PLATFORM.
790
Zev, my dearest! I'm so glad your here! My godly life was empty without
you!
ZEV
Godly life?
790
They worship me as a god here. I am known as the "mighty Xofgoth", ruler
of the sand people.
KAI
Then you must be able to make them give us our ship back.
790 (Sneering)
Not just because YOU asked for it lover boy. I'm the god around here.
Besides, we can't find Stan, so the Lexx is useless right now.
FROM THE SHADOWS EMERGES A SAND PERSON
SAND BEING (Turr)
I am Turr, protector of Xofgoth until the 3rd moon when we perform the
ritual of Bone.
ZEV
What's the ritual of bone?
790
I don't know Sugar Dumpling, they won't even tell me. But untill then, I
suggest we enjoy ourselves.
DAYS PASS AND THE GROUP IS TREATED LIKE ROYALTY. FOOD 24 HOURS A DAY, HOT BATHS (NAKED ZEV! OH JOY!), AND PLENTY OF SLEEP.
THEN THE 3RD MOON ARRIVED...