Pan
by Ben Church
b_church@yahoo.com
Feedback! Please!

Xena, Gabriell and Joxer are the property of Renaissance Pictures 
I believe.  In any case, they aren't mine.

     "Wake up!" Xena called, startling Joxer from his sound sleep.
     "Wha?!"  He jumped up, reaching for his sword.  "Are we under 
attack?!"
     "No," Xena smiled wryly.  "I just thought you'd rather not have
water dumped on you."
     It was then that Joxer noticed Gabriell holding a bucket full 
of water, looking slightly disappointed.  "I get no respect." Joxer 
grumbled, getting up.
     Xena shook her head ruefully.  Joxer was a buffoon yes, but he
was a loyal and brave buffoon.  And once you got used to him, not a 
bad person to be around.  Though, she had to admit he got on her nerves
at times.
     "Come on." she said.  "I want to reach Athens by lunch."
     "What's so important in Athens anyway?" Joxer asked.  He didn't
understand the hurry.  Not receiving an answer, he headed, grumbling
for the stream.  He got no respect.  Not that he really deserved any,
he admitted to himself.
     Upon reaching the stream, he knelt next to the water, preparing
himself.  "This is gonna be cold." he thought.
     He plunged his hands into the water gritting his teeth.  "Yup.
It's cold."  He brought his wet hands up to his face, wiping the sleep
from his eyes.  In the instant his eyes were closed, he heard a giggle.
His eyes snapped open and he quickly rose to his feet.  There, on the 
other side of the stream, stood a very beautiful, and very naked young
woman.
     She smiled coyly at him and giggled again.  Joxer was 
immediately transfixed by her beauty.  He stepped towards her.  She 
giggled again and ran off into the forest.  The spellbound man 
took off in hot pursuit.

     "What's keeping Joxer?" Gabriell wondered.
     "Maybe he fell in."
     "Wouldn't he have screamed?"
     Xena sighed.  "Your right.  We'd better go check it out."
     The two women walked to the edge of the stream, scanning up and
down the bank for Joxer.
     "He's not here." Gabriell said, belaboring the obvious.
     "I can see that." Xena murmured.  "But here are his tracks.  
And some one else's."
     Cautiously, Xena followed the tracks to their end.  The sight
that greeted her made her stop in shock.  Xena had thought herself 
prepared for anything.  Joxer dead, Joxer in battle, losing, even Joxer
in battle and winning.  But not Joxer involved in a heavy duty make out
session.
     "Must be a Nymph." Xena muttered.  "That's the only 
explanation."  Not much was known about Nymphs, but everything Xena
had heard had made them out to be dangerous.
     "Joxer," she started, intending to intervene, when something
stopped her.  Somewhere off in the woods a flute was playing.
     "Xena do you hear that?" Gabriell asked.
     "Yes," the warrior affirmed.  "I do."
     "It's nice." Gab smiled.
     "We'd better investigate.  Come on."  The two women left Joxer
and headed further into the forest.
     With great effort, fighting both his own hormones, and the
Nymph's determination, Joxer pulled away from her.
     "Not that I'm not enjoying this," he said.  "But who are you?"
     "My name's Lenai." she told him.  "What's yours?"
     "Joxer."
     "Well then Joxer," she smiled.  "Enough talk."  She shoved him
to the ground.

     Later, the Nymph sat watching the man sleep.  She smiled.
Her needs satisfied, her mind was once more cleared.  She had heard
her father playing his pipe, he must have known the women were 
nearby.
     It was such a nuisance, this monthly urge, but it was 
necessary to perpetuate her species.  But for now, until the next
cycle, she could be a plain, simple Dryad.
     Joxer stirred, and snorted.  Then settled.  She waited.
When he wakened she would take him to her father.  He always wanted
to meet the father of the new Dryad.  Or possibly a Satyr.

     Xena entered the clearing and stopped short.  Before her sat
one of the strangest creatures she'd ever seen.  From waist up, he
appeared to be a young man, maybe 24 at the oldest, with two small 
horns sprouting from his forehead.  From at his waist however, fur grew
thickly and his legs were those of a goat.  He wore nothing but short
baggy breeches that ended at the knee.  A Satyr, but he looked like 
none she'd ever seen.  He was clean.
     "Greetings Xena, Warrior Princess and Gabriell." he said.  In
one hand he held a goblet with intricate designs on it, in the other,
a set of pipes.  "Welcome to my home."
     Xena was unaware just when the feeling started, but she felt 
the stirrings of intense desire beginning.  From the flush in 
Gabriell's skin, she too was feeling the effects.  Xena knew there was
only one explanation for what was happening.
     "Hello Pan."
     "You've heard of me?" Pan asked, delighted.  He seemed 
surprised.  "I'm so pleased!"  He smiled and beckoned them to come 
closer.  "Let's get to know each other shall we?"

     "So I'm going to be a father?" Joxer asked.  He was having 
trouble getting around that.
     "Well," the Dryad said.  "You are the father, but you aren't
under any obligation to stay and take care of the child."
     "But-"
     "Please, just wait a bit.  I'm taking you to someone who will
explain it all."

     "Did you hear that?" Marcus said, his gravely voice grating
to his companions' ears.  He sniffed the air, then sneezed.  His
unshaven, unwashed face broke out into a grin.  His yellowed teeth 
glinting in the sunlight.  "That was Pan's flute.  We're close."  He 
grabbed the nearest hunter by the collar.  "We're going to be rich."
He farted.

     Joxer stared in amazement as Xena and Gabriell took turns 
kissing the Satyr before him.  The Dryad beside him shook her head, and
smiled sadly.  She cleared her throat.
     With difficulty, Pan managed to pry the two women off him, and
hastily played on his flute.  Xena and her friend calmed down and 
settled for gazing at him.
     "Welcome!" Pan smiled warmly.  "I take it this is the new 
father to be of my Lenai's child?"
     Lenai smiled.  "Yes father, but he's rather confused.  He needs
a better explanation than I can give him."
     "Does he now?  Well then he shall have it.  What is it you're
most confused about?"
     "You're a Satyr!"
     Pan sighed.  "Guess I'll start at the beginning.  I'm not a 
Satyr, I'm THE Satyr.  My name, here anyway,  is Pan.  The Dryads 
are my daughters, and the Satyrs are my sons.
     "Every month, unless she is with, or raising a child, a Dryad
becomes a Nymph, driven to conceive a child.  When the child is 
born, it is raised by us here in the forest, and the father most often
goes his own way.  Occasionally they stay to help raise the child, but
that's rare."
     "So all Satyrs and Dryads are born of a human father?" Joxer 
asked.
     "That's right."
     "No offense, but your kids have bad reps."
     "Well," Pan sighed.  "My daughters have been the victim of 
ignorance I'm afraid.  But my sons, well, they suffer from a deplorable
excess of Testosterone."
     "Testosterwhat?"
     Pan sighed again.  "Never mind."
     "What happened to Xena and Gabriell?"
     "That's another long story.  Suffice to say I have need of 
their services.  Once they've completed their task, they will be 
released from the spell."
     "What task?"

     "We're close." Marcus said for the fourth time.
     "How close?" one of his companions asked for the fourth time.
     "He's right there."  He pointed, to an empty clearing, then 
suddenly whirled, and pointed in the opposite direction.  He took 
off, tripping over a rock.

     Pan sighed.  He was getting restless.  He'd been under this 
spell for too long.
     He'd sent Joxer, Lenai, Gab and Xena off to search for those 
searching for him.  If he had been at full strength, he would have
sensed them miles away, in fact, he'd have always been aware of their
presence.  But as it was, only a snapping twig alerted him.  Too late.
     The net was over him before he could even rise to his feet.
He swore and tried to break free, but in his weakened state he was 
helpless.
     "No," he muttered.  "I will not let it end like this."
     "Let's kill him and take his horns!" one said.
     "No!" Marcus grinned.  "Let's have some fun with him first!"
     Pan, being careful not to entangle himself any further, 
managed to bring his pipes to his mouth.
     Marcus' eyes widened in terror.  "Don't let him play!"
     Too late, for Pan began to play on the pipes.
     "So what?" a hunter laughed.  "There are 20 of us."
     "But there are about a hundred of his children in these woods
alone!" Marcus shouted.
     "Ha." Pan thought.  "If that old Wives Tale were true I 
wouldn't have had to get Xena and Gabriell to help me."  A battle 
cry rang through the air.  "Speaking of which."
     Lenai, Gabriell and Xena hit them from three different sides.
Joxer came from the fourth direction a second after.
     "Make way for Joxer the Mighty!" he shouted.
     "Hmm," Pan thought, watching the battle from the net.  "Joxer's
got spirit, he just needs training.  Maybe I'll talk to Xena about 
that."
     Joxer reeled under the impact of a club wielded by one of his
opponents.  He went down, feeling the familiar onrush of 
unconsciousness.  "Oh well," he thought, the world going black.  "At 
least I took a couple out this time."  Sure enough, five hunters lay
on the ground.  Out cold.  A new record for him.
     Lenai ducked a blow, and saw two more coming for her.  She
concentrated.  Roots shot from the ground and wrapped themselves around
her attacker's ankles.  The two that were rushing her fell to the 
ground, tripped.  The third, teetered for a moment, till she clubbed 
him on the head.
     Between the three of them, Lenai, Xena and Gabriell took out 
the rest of the hunters.  Marcus was the last to go down.  One by one,
Xena, Gabriell, and Lenai hit him.  But he wouldn't go down.   He teetered 
on his feet, but wouldn't fall.  Not till all three hit him at once.
     With great care, Xena and Gabriell freed Pan from the net, 
then each kissed him long and hard.
     Lenai focused her attentions on healing and reviving Joxer.

     Well, that's pretty much the story.  Pan released Xena and 
Gabriell from the spell, and we said our good-byes.  Xena didn't hold
a grudge, of which I'm glad.
     "Joxer!  Let's go!"
     Oops, well Diary, off to adventure once again.  Till next time!

The End