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What Should I Avoid Saying?

Don't say Star Trek is better than B5 without a darned good reason or the Troll King and his cronies will burn you to bits. (actually, they probably will even if you do have a darned good reason:)

Don't mention that you lust after Delenn, or the Troll King's trained attack dog, Alys, will pike you.

Be aware that just about anything you say might draw undue attention (ie a THWACKing) from the Narn Bat Squad.

Avoid asking any of the questions answered in the FAQ (that's the file you are now reading:)

Who the hell is the Troll King?

Think: Resident automated B5-supporting flame-throwing device and you've pretty much got it right.

You'll know the Troll King if you draw his ire - you'll be charred and smoking so quickly you'll be wondering how you got charred and smoking so quickly.

Who the hell is Alys?

Alys maintains the web page for this den of lusty madpeople. She also maintains the Troll King's exclusive rights to Delenn's bed. If you're starting to think the Delenn thing is going too far - we doubt you're the only or the first.

What Does it Mean to be Piked?

Stabbed through the net.body with a 10' net.stick with a point on the end. Trust me, it's not a pleasant experience - I've tried myself on a few occasions. Then you are elligible for membership in the League of Non-alive Souls, the non-corporeal body of Delenn-lusters who didn't have the benefit of the advice you've just read.

*Kosh noises* "If you lust after Delenn, you will die."

What is the Narn Bat Squad?

[Someone else might answer this better than I]

What is a Battlecrab?

SPOILER FOR "SIGNS AND PORTENTS" ON THE NEXT LINE:

The ikky black ship that nukes the Raider ship at the end is a Battlecrab. Also called Shadow ships, Shadow cruisers and big black ikky things that shoot nasty purple rays. The expression "Oh, $#!~" has also been strongly associated with them, but for entirely different reasons.

Does JMS post to this newsgroup?

WE ONLY WISH!!!!

Alas, no. [does he even know we exist? would he care?]
JMS has to avoid seeing story suggestions because of legal problems that can cause. As such, he has to be careful what he reads on the net. The best place to find him is in rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5.moderated but it's a very high volume group and he doesn't have the time to reply to every post (although he does a sterling job, considering...)

What do you want?

Never ask that question. If you've seen Signs And Portents you'll know all about why. If you haven't then hurry up and do so (but make sure you watch all the intervening episodes first, of course. It's vitally important you don't miss a thing.)

How do I join the NBS[1]?

You apply in person to G'Spot, who will have to supply his own point of contact (if you see him, ask if disembodied spirits can join...).

Expect a *THWACKING* for impertinence:)

[1] Narn Bat Squad ("Nana Nana Nana Nana BAT SQUAD!!!!":)

Are the shadows really evil?
Are the Vorlon really good?

Belegdel and Tim the Troll King will explode all over you if you ask either of these because they traumatised each other arguing them out the first time around. If you grovel sufficiently you might get a decent summary of their findings during that epic thread.