MOMMY'S BROWNIE RECIPIE

Remove Teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Melt one cup margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Tommy 'no, no'.
Add 2 cups sugar to margarine.
Take shortening can away from Tommy and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
Take shortening can away from Tommy again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from the cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vannilla and 1 1/2 cups sifted flour.
Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all windows and doors for ventilation.
Take telephone away from Tommy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator to attempt to have direct dial removed from the bill.
Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and mix all ingredients.
Let cat out of refridgerator.
Pour mixture into a well-greased 9x13 inch pan.
Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor from Tommy. Explain to kids that shaved cats will sunburn.
Throw cat outside while there's still time for him to run away from Tommy.

FROSTING

Mix the following in a saucepan:

1 cup sugar, 1 oz unsweetened chocolate, and 1/4 cup margarine.
Take that damn teddy bear out of the broiler and throw it away---far away.
Tell the nice police officer that you didn't know that Tommy was heading for the street in the playpen.
Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil and stir for 2 miuntes.
Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Tommy having placed garden hose in their mail slot and turned the water on.
Tie Tommy to a chair.
Remove burned brownies from oven and have a stiff drink.

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