Part of Simon Phipp's Home Page

This guy goes out to Las Vegas, and wins really big in one of the

casinos. When you win big in Vegas the casino will give you free

things, like meals, show tickets, or rooms, this is all designed to

keep you there so that you will lose what money you have won. After

winning fifty thousand dollars at the crap table, the casino decides

to give the guy a night in the penthouse suite. The guy goes up to the

room, opens the big double doors, and steps into a three room suite.

The room is on a corner of the hotel and two walls are nothing but

windows, with a fantastic view of the city. There's a wet bar in one

corner, with a big screen TV The guy drops his bag on money in a

chair and stands looking out the windows at the city. He realizes he

is all alone and needs someone to share his good fortune with. He

calls down to the front desk and tells the clerk to send up one of the

best high-priced call girls in the city.

Thirty minutes later there's a knock on the door. The guy opens it and

there is the most gorgeous girl he has ever seen. Long blond hair,

short red dress, and spiked heels. She walks into the room. The guy

goes over to the bar and fixes two drinks, he gives one to the hooker,

and drinks one himself.

"Now, down to business," he says, "how much for a hand job?"

The hooker says, "Honey, a hand job is $500.00"

"What, that's outrageous.

"Come over here," She says walking towards one of the windows," see

that strip mall over there," pointing out the window, "I own the last

two stores on the end. I was able to buy those stores with the money I

saved from giving hand jobs. I must be pretty damn good.

"All right, screw it, money is no object." A half hour after she's done

the guy is sitting on the couch revelling in ecstasy. He gets up, goes

to the bar and makes two more drinks. He gives one to the hooker and

drinks one himself.

"That was the best hand job I have ever had. How much for a blow job?

"Honey, a blow job is $5000.00" "What, that's outrageous." "Come over

here," She says walking towards another one of the window,

"see that hotel and casino over there on the corner," pointing out the

window, "I own that, I was able to buy it with the money I saved from

giving blow jobs. I must be pretty damn good.

"All right, screw it, money is no object." The guy gives her $5000.00

An hour after she's done, the guy is laying on the couch, head

rolled back, eyes rolled up inside his head, a little drool coming out

of the corner of his mouth. He gets up, barely able to stand, staggers

over to the bar, mixes two more drinks, gives one to the hooker, and

drinks one himself.

"My god, that was the best blow job I have ever had, I've gotta know,

How much for some pussy?"

The hooker looks at him and says, "Honey, if I had a pussy I would

own this whole city............"