Part of Simon Phipp's Home Page

A gentleman died and arrived in hell. He was met by the Devil and was

told that in the new kinder gentler hell, each person is offered three

choices of torture. The Devil explained that these tortures run in 1000

year cycles and you could pick which cycle in which to begin.

So the Devil took the man to the first room where a man was hung up by

his feet and was being whipped with chains. The man said he did not think

that was where he wanted to start.

They proceeded to the next room where a man was hung up by his arms and

was being whipped by a Cat-O-Nine Tails. The man also declined this form of torture.

The third room had a man strapped to the wall naked and a very beautiful

young blonde woman was performing oral sex upon him.

The man told the Devil this is more like it, and this was the one he

wanted.

The Devil said "Are you sure? It lasts for 1000 years."

The man assured him that this was the punishment he wanted.

So the Devil walked over to the young woman and said "You can go now.

I've found your replacement."