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Abdicate--v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Carcinoma--n. A valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

Esplanade--v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly--adj., impotent.

Flabbergasted--adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Negligent--adj., describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly

answer the door in your nightie.

Lymph--v. To walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle-n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.

Bustard--n., a very rude Metrobus driver.

Coffee--n., a person who is coughed upon.

Flatulence--n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you

are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash--n., a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle--n., a humorous question to an exam.

Semantics--n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the

priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's

prayer book together just before vespers.

Rectitude--n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a

proctologist immediately before he examines you.

Marionettes--n., residents of Washington who have been jerked around

by the mayor.

Oyster--n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish

expressions.

Circumvent--n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts.