MEN STRIKE BACK!

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a

woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to

support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There's a clock on the oven.

Why do men fart more than women?

Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at

the

front door, whom do you let in first?

The dog of course! At least he'll shut up after you let him in.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt

her.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Many say monogamy is the same.

Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a woman's

sex drive by 90%!

The wedding cake.