Part of Simon Phipp's Home Page

My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him

we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies.

I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell

and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him. --Age 10

I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was

just a lawn mower. --Age 11

I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that

the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water

for

some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets

more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was

a big fire and everyone died. --Age 13

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I

don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash

clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15

It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday,

like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people

voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long

weekends. --Age 8

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few

minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days

saved up. --Age 7