FUNNY SIGNS

An ad on the subway in NYC:

"Learn to read and speak English.

Call us now."

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An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist:

"Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed."

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Sign over a restroom in a restaurant:

"Used beer department."

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Comparative customs:

In front of flat in London:

"It is unlawfull to allow your pets to foul

the footways by depositing excrement thereon."

In New York:

"Curb your dog."

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On a store front in Florida:

"Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor.

Drive through open 24 hours!"

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A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey:

"Smile, You're on Radar!"

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In a bathroom stall at a college athletic facility:

"Please place tampons and sanitary napkins in trash

recepticle. Do not flush down stool."

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Seen in a State Park in California:

"Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope)

Check the Rock.

If it's wet, it's raining.

If it's moving, it's windy.

If you can't see it, it's foggy.

If rock is gone, it's a tornado."

MORE FUNNY SIGNS

At my University's Student center Bathrooms:

"If you see four feet instead of two under the

bathroom door, please notify it immediately to

the University Police."

-joohh

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Seen on a truck:

"I am as smart as a horse

and hung like Einstein!"

-Kathryn J. Davis

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Red light district in Galvaston Texas. The light was on but

the ladies were not home. A sign on their door read:

"Closed for the weekend, beat it."

-admiralK

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In the hallway of a High School in New Jersey

"Our School:

Commitment

Responsibility

Attitude

Persistance."

-Josh Forman

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Road sign in Roosevelt, Utah:

"Rest Area Next Right" - the next right leads a

person right into to a cemetery.

-Karen Case

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A sign in the local opportunity shop says,

"If your going to steal, then smile for the camera."

-Michael Silcock

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While stopped at an intersection I noticed a man standing

on the corner in front of a Burger King. He was holding a

ign that read "Will work for food." If he had only looked up,

he would have noticed that the Burger King sign directly a

bove him read "Now hiring."

-James Kelly

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A sign on the backbar-

Earl's Bar-Indiana

"A wise monkey never monkeys with another monkey's monkey."

-Jorj Maharg

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At an office:

"This job is only a test

had it been an actual job,

you would have recieved

raises,bonses and promotions."

-Alicia Villarrea

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SEEN ON A BILBOARD ALONG A HIGHWAY:

"Caution: objects in the mirror may have flunked drivers ed."

-LTLRDNK

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On a ski lift in Taos, NM:

'No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.'

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Official sign near door: Door Alarmed.

Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.

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Guys: No shirt, No service

Girls: No shirt, No charge

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Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus

(translation of the Greek):

'Caution: Road Slippery from Grapejuice'

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A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race

Let's see who can go downhill the fastest

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Sign in King's Canyon in California.

'Slow Parking Ahead'

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MORE OF AN AD THAN A SIGN, but...

A billboard seen next to the highway, travelling from

Johannesburg International Airport into town.

An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the

roof and all the windows down.

The caption reads:' Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!'

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Two signs found on top of one another in a country

kitchen several years ago:

restrooms

-----

Please wait for hostess to seat you.

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Sign in front of church in Montpelier, VT:

Bingo Friday night at 8:00pm

Quickies Thursday at 7:30pm.

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Seen in a health food store_

" Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot "

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"Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense."

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I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant:

the sign read: Women are not served here...

You have to bring your own.