Why Must Tech Support be Subjected to This?

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman

then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good

point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,

and his is working fine."

Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the

same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now

type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."

Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Overheard in a computer shop:

Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."

Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."

Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document

back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to

keep it.

Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"

I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that start

something like this:

Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"

Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to

"The Internet."

Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"

Tech Support: "Yeah."

Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"

Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."

Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon."

Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows-because of the icons -- I'm

a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons." Tech Support: "Well,

that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to-"

Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in

icons."

Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a

file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?" Customer: [click]

Customer: "My computer crashed!"

Tech Support: "It crashed?"

Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."

Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."

Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed."

Tech Support: "Huh?"

Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my

spaceship and now it doesn't work." Tech Support: "Click on 'File,'

then 'New Game.'"

Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"