How To Survive Scary Situations:

When it seems that you have killed the monster, never

check to see if it's really dead.

If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery,

was once a church that was used for black masses, had

previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or

died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who

performed necrophilia or satanic practices in your house,

move away immediately.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even

as a joke.

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has

just gone out.

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language

which they do not know, or if they speak to you using a voice

which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will

save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably

take some time to kill them, so be prepared.

When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off or

go it alone.

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals

to Hell.

Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere

near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house

of the dead.

If you're searching for something which caused a noise

and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately,

if you value your life.

If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

Do not take anything from the dead.

If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a

reason. Take the hint and stay away.

Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless

you're sure you know what you are doing.

If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall

down at least twice, more if you are of the female

persuasion.  Also note that, although you are running

and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still

moving fast enough to catch up with you.

If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic

behavior such as hissing, fascination with blood, glowing

eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them

as fast as possible.

If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby

deserted-looking house to phone for help.

Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws,

staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives,

combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons,

band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.