Like the title says, it's all Starr's fault; we were chatting and well, you know how these things get started. The author hereby disclaims all responsibility.

Emergency! is owned by MCA/Universal, Jack Webb, and TVLand. This story may not be reproduced in any fashion without the author's express written permission. All other rights available under the law are also owned by the author. Copyright March 1999.

*******************

The Idiot Box
#1: All Starr's Fault

Brrrrrrrrrring!! Brrrrrrrrrrrrring!!

The loud buzzing of the doorbell brought a sleepy Johnny Gage to his feet. After a long hard shift, this half of the best paramedic team in Los Angeles County -- maybe in the world, perhaps in the whole damned universe -- wanted to do nothing more than sleep. It figured that, since he'd finally relaxed enough to sleep, there was someone at the door.

"So, what was so important that you wanted to see me?" The dulcet tones of his partner, Roy DeSoto, sounded in his ears.

Johnny blinked. He didn't remember calling Roy, and he sure didn't remember saying anything about wanting to talk to Roy, not after four days and three nights on-shift, with 48 hours overtime at Station 12 before that. On the other hand, he didn't remember opening the door to Roy just now, either. "I don't remember calling you, Roy."

The stocky blond man frowned at that, but followed his partner into the apartment. "Well, it was you, but .... it sounded like you had a cold."

Now fully awake, Johnny sniffed experimentally. "No, no cold. Just tired." He watched Roy help himself to a cup of coffee.

"What do you think you might have wanted to discuss?"

"Did I give you any hints?"

Roy sighed, knowing he was just delaying the inevitable. A visit to the Johnny Rant Zone couldn't be denied. "You said it was a life-changing decision."

"Ummmmm......"

Releasing another sigh, Roy braced himself. "You remembered, didn't you?"

"Well......"

"Out with it, Junior!"

"I'm dating a man," admitted the young paramedic. The words rushed out of his mouth, and now there was no taking them back. Although, it was almost worth it to see the shocked expression on Roy's face.

"What?"

"I'm dating a guy," Johnny repeated. "You know, the homosexual lifestyle?"

"B - b- but -" Roy sputtered, "You - You're, I mean --" Unable to form coherent words, the older paramedic merely fell back into his chair and stared at his partner for several minutes. "When did this happen?"

Johnny shrugged. "I think it was always there. How often has it happened? I can't form a decent relationship with a woman, never anything serious, and the few times I did have anything serious, I rushed in without looking where I was going." He stared down at his fingernails, unwilling to see the reaction reflecting in his partner's blue eyes, unable to reveal his desire for his very-happily-married partner in his own dark eyes. "All of it was because I was desperate, frantic for this not to be where I was heading because I didn't want it ... but I can't ignore it anymore and I thought you should know."

Listening to his friend's speech had calmed Roy considerably. He knew he wasn't bothered by the whole homosexual scene, but he just couldn't picture his partner that way. So, Roy supposed, I guess I should ask.... "What about the ... guy you're with? Is he a good guy?"

"Ahh, well," Johnny squirmed, "you know him."

"I do?" Please, god, thought Roy, not Chet. I don't think my heart could take it.

"Craig Brice."

Coffee sprayed approximately three feet. "WHAT!!!!"

"Now, Roy," began Gage, slowly backing away from the sodden couch and his java-dripping partner. "I know you're shocked...."

"Shocked doesn't even begin to cover it!!" Roy stood up, wiping coffee from his chin and wringing out his shirt. "How did this happen?"

[Because I said so.]

Roy wondered where the voice was coming from. It seemed to be coming out of the walls. "Who are you?"

[I'm the author.]

"You made Johnny do this?"

[That's right.]

"Why?"

[Because I can.]

"I'd like you to -- I can't believe I'm saying this --" he ground his teeth in frustration. "I'd like you to put my partner back the way he was."

"Roy!"

"Quiet, Johnny! This is for your own good!"

"Next you'll be dragging me over to Rampart and sticking me in the psyc ward."

"Don't think I haven't already considered it," muttered Roy. "So," quickly addressing the entity in the ceiling, "what's it going to be?"

[Sorry, Roy. No can do.]

"Why not?"

[Because sometimes you just gotta run where the evil muses roam.]

"That didn't make any sense."

[I know. Isn't it great?]

Roy groaned in exasperation. This author is worse than my kids.

[Like anyone's even seen your kids.]

Deciding not to follow up on that verbal jab, he vaguely heard his partner in the background, singing some song he really hoped he wouldn't recognize. Showtunes, for god's sake! "Please change Johnny back."

[No.]

"Please?"

[No.]

"Pretty please?"

[No.]

"Pretty please with sugar and cherries on top?"

[No.]

"Why not?"

[Because.]

"Because why?"

[Because I can.]

"That's not a reason."

[Sure it is.]

"It is not."

[Is too.]

"It is not."

[Is too.]

"Is not."

[Is too!]

"Is not!"

[Too!]

"Not!"

[Too!]

"Not!"

[Too, too, too!]

"Not, not, not!"

[Too to infinity!]

"Not to double infinity!"

"Guys, guys, relax!!" Johnny shouted. "Jeez, what's wrong with you, Roy? I've never seen you so....upset."

[Maybe he's jealous.]

That was the last thing Johnny expected to hear. "What?"

"I am not jealous!"

[Sure.]

"I am NOT jealous!!"

"You know, Roy, I have to admit, you do look a little...."

"Don't even say it, Junior."

"Roy, are you threatening me?"

[We'll see, won't we, Johnny? Mwhahahahahahahahahahaha!!]

"I hate it when she laughs like that."

"I dunno, Roy, it usually makes for great sex....What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Part Two

Don't forget to send feedback and fuel the Muses!!

© 1997 evermore4@verizon.net


This page hosted by GeoCities Get your own Free Home Page


1