I feel I've reached this high level of medocrity. --Josh, from Big Brother Emily after eating a baby.

Classic Questions: Name: Emily Whitwood Alias: Em, Emmy, Emiwi (Kari), That Weird Girl (at work), Ask That Little Girl Over There (Customers...urg), Chica (my sister). Age: 22 Birthdate: April 4, 1978 Location: Parasite, Texas Occupation: A cheerful employee of the marvelous Target Corporation.

Favorites: Cartoon: The Powerpuff Girls, but Courage the Cowardly Dog cracks me up every time. TV Show: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, I never miss it; Angel, and Evangelion Movie: The Crow, Fight Club, Monty Python Stuff, Grosse Pointe Blank Music: Tara Maclean, Lisa Loeb, Sophie B. Hawkins, and Tori Amos. Books: Inheritance by Indira Ganesan, Grass by Sheri S. Tepper, The Books of Great Alta by Jane Yolen, Beauty by Robin McKinley, and Anne Bishop's Black Jewel's Trilogy has some of the best characterization I've ever read. Hobbies: Sleeping, Eating, Reading, Making WinAmp skins, Writing, Dancing around and Singing, and oh god, I admit it... I'm hooked on Passions the worst damn soap ever made. Help me! I also spend a lot of time entertaining Dustin. Animal: Stuffed. I think my spirit animal is a domestic cat. Stuffed Animal: Thurgood, my surrogate child and hippo. Color: Blue! Toy: Hehehe... I really should have left this question off. Drink: Dr. Pepper

Appendix 2000: (Questions suggested by other people ;D) Most annoying habit: Taking stuff out of people's hands while they're looking at it, tying with my habit of completely floating off to another world, and therefore not hearing anything. Last criminal act: Involves a cop, a dead turtle, and 3 tons of marshmallows. Quickest way to tell you're grumpy: Umm, I say, "$%#@ off! I'm pissy!" Your weirdest trait: I have funny-looking toes. Describe a recurring dream: I'm stuck in this house; it's a really big maze, and I keep wandering around and seeing people I've known through out my life. Usually there's something chasing me, but it always something lame, and not scary like a slow mummy or The Count from Sesame Street. Last job held before your current one (or just your last job, if you're unemployed.): Bodyguard to Brijeka Ruretvow--famous drug lord who sells babies with Tosta in their diapers. Sadist or Masochist? Masochist. TV/Movie Character you most want to be: Faith from Buffy. She's sweeeet, and ass-kicking. TV/Movie Character you're most like: heh, apparently Willow from Buffy. Jack Van Impe or Rexella? Jack, definitely Jack. I'm always afraid Rexella's eyes are going to pop out.

Quotes: "I'm not a psychopath... Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for money."~Grosse Pointe Blank "It's not death if you refuse it... it is if you accept it."--James O'Barr "Believe me, nothing is trivial."~The Crow "Love has failed so many people I know. The poet writes of this often. She says love is like a golden blossom that sprouts at the footfall of Buddha, sprung from joy and adoration. But the beloved walks away without a glance."~ Indira Ganesan "'You don't offend. I don't create things that are offensive to me. As for truth, what's true is what's written. Every created thing bears my intention written in it. Rocks. Stars. Very small beings. Everything only runs one way naturally, the way I meant it to. The trouble is that very small beings write books that contradict the rocks, then say I wrote the books and the rocks are lies.' He laughed. The universe trembled."--Marjorie's Vision of God in Grass. "I wouldn't waste my time on guilt."--Also God from Grass.

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