massive invasion into the subconcious spearheaded by subliminal whimsy. my head is a war of reuniting untied liberties and i dont suppose i like it too much. you ould just ask if i feel like it instead of trying to make me do it. you know how much i resist things when they arent my idea. why oh why am i really goin to try to be a better person or ami just deluding myself. can i move ahead into a new life of cleanliness without first rinsing away all of the prior grime and dirt that stains so much of my past. why must it be like this. i want so much to be honest but it just isnt possible because the truth is the all destroyer. it makes a lie in truth of what was a lie inside. what to do what to do. can it will it should it why why not. i believe that that is death all around for the miserable crickets in my hallway. they deserve it for being. i can tell i am not changing because i keep reinforcing the things which make me me which are basically greed and selfishness pride and hot air. i am the deflator and i will be. can i change do i want to or do i just like the idea of it. ive just found out what shitty colors i am creating in. its really pissant. this thing is life and theres no way around it. i feel that i can type almost as good like this as i can the other way with perhaps the exception of capitalizing letters. alas and ah ther is nothing to be done and everything to be gained by the doing of it.