I smell cookies like grandma used to make. but seriously. timely is it? horn section in the background guitar riff overhead like flying saucer, ear ache. thinking about seriously branding this weekend though there is a suirrel in my room which poses a problem in and of itself. jezusssssssssssss i hate vermin waking me up in the morning with all their humping and bumping about. look at meeee. good thing theres a note on the door. wonder how the furry little pestulant got in there in the first place. they thought me balmy a bit i could see it in their eyes but i saw the thing with my own, dash and dart of grey where dashing and darting should not have been. need to check the pager to see what it is it wants to tell my though it might and most likely is just a bit of fluffy digitzed love. what is going on here? things seem to be knocking around at me though i dont exactly know if i am ready for them to knock i wonder about england and if ill get there. i wonder if ill get anywhere but yet there must be a going it is integral to the survival of the thing in my head. is my typing load and annoying? probably. i hate listening to people type but in these swarms here there is to be no help for it. my computer and i have a personal relationship. like group masturbation this communal typing. oddly. enough. used to be............. together. you and me. always. i really feel like my best friend lost me. heh. twisting like oliver these words things so slippery like eel wrestling. dont speak. tell me. because it hurts. everybody needs the hurt. dont they? heh. how long can i keep up this rambling page? perhaps ill write my life story out here. it began on my fourth birthday, or roughly there abouts that i can remember. multiple peresents of the same make and manufacture. then there was the water balloon fights in the summer, the water balloons cutley in the shape of green grenades that we childishly flung like so much water. whats the first pain i remember? must have been kim. ahh the not eating, the sleeping. nothing like what would come on later though that was just simple rejection pure clean suffering. no gut wrenching moral destroying jealsouy inflaming torture of a cheating friend. the lingering ongoing in front of everyone.