hypergraphy session 1

hypergraphy - n. from "hyper" (emotionally stimulated or overexcited) and "graphy" (writing about a specified subject). Ex: "in a frenzied state of hypergraphy I typed up half of my novel in under two days"

so, this is basically a long passage about whatever I was thinking of. Personally, I love to type, so that's why I have all these texts all over my site. So I just was talking to one girl on the phone and the topic went towards self esteem, and I told here what I think. She said I was very inspirational, and by doing so she inspired me to type up this whole thing for whoever visits my web-site. btw - please send me e-mails, I like that.

anyway, I'm an optimist with a rather unique (I think) "philosophy" of life. here is my take on self esteem:

I feel that everyone needs a good self-esteem, a rather inflated ego. My ego is both - very very big, and very small. Here is how it is: it's big at times I need to feel good, just so that I don't feel depressed, and it's small, so that I don't go around everywhere and saying I'm the greatest thing since pre-cooked hot dogs.

if you have a big ego, sometimes you begin to be very cocky, and start to make fun of people, that is unhealthy for your relationships with friends. Having a very small ego also is hurtfull to you and such relations since you start to say you are a dumb-ass and make everyone try to cheer you up by saying you're not such a bad guy, and that's not fun for everyone.

the main concept of having a good ego: understand that your name was given to you by your parents, and you can't change it, your last name - especially (this is directed towards the young kids that are called offensive nick-names). But the name is not the only thing that you must feel comfortable with, it's your height. I know far too many people that are upset that they are short, but let's face it - there is nothing they can do, just accept it and live with it. Weight: surely the biggest problem with teenagers, most teenagers feel and/or are too "big". Well, sometimes, unfortunately, (I believe) you can't do much about it, but you can at least try. At least attempting to do something, you can tell yourself that you are working on it and are improving.

I can say it loud anywhere without shame: I'm comfortable with myself. Surely I'm not all that, but because I do my best to eat healthy and work out, I feel good. And physical features are not the only thing everyone should be comfortable with. It's the whole you, that makes you - you. It's the clothes that you choose to wear for whatever reason (political, religious, trying-to-get-noticed, trying-to-fit-in). In any case, don't worry if some jerk ever calls out (btw - I'm speaking all this about high school - because that's what I have recently finished, and I kinda know what that is like) something offensive, understand that the person is just trying to step on someone to feel better about themselves.

I am not saying that you should ignore suggestions your friends make, because that is a different story. And yet there is a limit, maybe you are hanging out with "friends" that just want you to be like them, so you don't stand out and are not any "cooler" than they are - I can't really comment here, but I hope you got my message by now.

more on self-confidence:

I pretty much told you everything, but I feel like typing more. So whatever it is you are into, do it, because that is you - what you are. Don't be afraid to be your unique self. And always remember, if you are not "beautiful" it's not your fault, it's all because of genetics.

unfortunately, as I understand, sometimes you have to change to get to a girl (sorry, my texts are rather sexist because they are mainly geared towards the male teenage population because to this day I can't understand why girls do some things). in any case, don't be afraid to be yourself, although you should be free to change, of course, but only under certain, above-mentioned exceptions.

Change is also important, growing up, my views have changed dramatically, and I remember with shame of how shallow I was when I was 14. But then again, I was just another shallow-minded 14 year old. I say: be open minded - see arguments from different points of view. Listen to other people, there is nothing more annoying than talking to a jerk who says "no you are wrong" half-way through my argument, of course I don't talk to people like that.

I can't really think that this above text is inspirational, but I most certainly hope that it is at least to some. And once again - please e-mail me if you find any of my thoughts interesting or helpfull.

June 15, 2002

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