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TOO MUCH WORK!
Maybe it was due to the change of season, maybe it was the 2 day work without sleep, maybe it was because I ran a long distance before those 2 days, maybe because of the company I had, maybe the places we'd been were full of sick people, but by Monday after the Gay Night Party, I felt a terrible cold take hold of me. By Wednesday I was coughing like crazy. Still, I kept on working - with the limited staff we had and increased patient census, I dragged my sick body for another five days work straight. By Friday, my co-workers took pity on me and let me take a day off. By Saturday I lied to my boss that I was working somewhere else only so that I could take another day off. I felt a little better after those two days off. But it still took me another two weeks to return to my normal life, running and working. I felt so weak and fatigued to the max. This daily work just wouldn't stop. Everybody is having vacation days except me. The last time I requested for two weeks off, I worked in another facility. Yeah I'm crazy like that. My health suffered. I should never do this again. At a certain point in my gay life, I should get rid of my 'slave mentality' as my Chilean co-worker Ricardo would tell me. It's good to have an extra few dollars here or there, to buy a little gadget that may make me smile for a day or two, but if I have to pay that with a weakened body, then, truly, what is the point? Oh boy, all my gay plans have been put on hold. Manuel told me I can always stay overnight in his Fort Lauderdale condo should I decide to spend a good time there. Mario told me I can always call him anytime whenever I want to spend a night in Lauderdale. I tell you guys, as much as I would love to, my body is just saying no. The last three weeks I did nothing but work and sleep and with the terrible daily afternoon weather lately in South Beach, my allergies ranging from skin itchiness to sinuses invaded me so mercilessly that I cursed the day I went to the Gay Night Party before the Parade. I seriously asked if this was a punishment from God or a punishment of myself to my self? There should be a way to improve my quality of life. To enslave myself to work and running as sports and whatever is not being kind to myself. I don't know what kind of gay mentality I carry in my brains everyday. What am I about to gain from all these in my future? I may just be one of my Doctor patients who collapsed because of overwork. I provided him Rehab a few months ago. He's divorced, swore not to get married again, never had kids, had lots of girlfriends, had a very successful Medical practice, worked his butt off everyday, never had a high cholesterol, his blood pressure was always normal, and then, one day, he was found in his office unconscious. It was a terrible stroke. And he was only 55 years old. A very smart man - he had multiple degrees from Harvard, Yale and UCLA. Today all he could say is either 'AAAH' or 'EEEH', the man is very aphasic. His parents are too old to take care of him. His sisters have to take turns to help him. He keeps falling from his wheelchair at home. And the work and wealth and glory he built for himself through the years disappeared while he sat on a wheelchair unable to move, unable to say word, all he could do is to cry and cry. Why? Because the poor guy didn't give himself a break. He too had the slave mentality like I do have now. We tend to enslave ourselves to our ideals and goals in life to the detriment of ourselves. I can not imagine myself waking up one day with half of my body unable to move, with my hands unable to type on this keyboard, with my speech so terrible I can not communicate with anyone. No, no, no - that's never been a part of my plan in life. I still want to see places around the world, see the next generation in my family reach maturation. I want to have days when I can write more stories, even novels. But I've got to work or that. I am tired of saying "Next year, I'd be able to do this or that..." It is important to take care of one's health especially if you were gay, especially if you did not build a network of friends through the years, especially if did not cultivate a close and loving relationship with anybody. Anyway, before I proceed into a long lecture about this, I better post this on the web now and think of another topic for later. Return to Home |