Online Journal (March 27, 2003)

This posting is definitely a bit late, but you'll get the entire story (as of right now) in one entry rather than three different ones.

The first journal entry would have been about a girl named Jeni that I was attracted to and with whom I had gone to the library. The story goes as such: in my composition class that I had been planning on dropping for a few weeks but hadn't for the sole purpose of wanting to get to know Jeni (seriously) I had "needed" a certain book from the South Bend library, but didn't have the needed library card to obtain the book. Well, just my luck, Jeni had a card for the library and offered to go with me after class to get the book I needed. Were the Gods looking upon me that day or what? I mean, not only does she have a card for a library that contains a book I need, but she's offering to check it out for me! So that's exactly what we did. I gave her my cell phone number to get in touch with me after she got out of her class, and then we met up in the parking lot and drove to the library (in my car). Afterwards I told her to give me a call if she ever wanted to get coffee or something (which was a joke of sorts, since she works at Starbucks), and I proceeded to wait...

...which brings me to the second journal entry: That weekend I had a good feeling that Jeni would call me. I had to work doubles both Friday and Saturday, but I was available Sunday evening (after sleeping that morning after a night audit shift at the hotel), and kept my schedule open for anything that might come up. It didn't happen, though. I was pretty bummed. Perhaps I had misjudged? Was her kindness simply out of niceness, with nothing more intended? Needless to say, my knowledge of the female mind is extremely slim, and this incident (or lackthereof) pretty much pummeled any semblance of confidence I had into dust. That was a disheartening experience. I went into class on Monday and gave her a book that she may or may not have needed (it was relevant to her paper), but she seemed indifferent. That ended any hope I may have had up to that point. I was a bit depressed, so I left (since I was dropping the class anyway, there wasn't any point in staying).

And the final entry: I went home and wrote a song and watched Dr. Phil. Or rather wrote a song while watching Dr. Phil, although there is no connection between the two. And then a miracle happened! Jeni called me immediately following the end of the class that I had skipped out of. She was concerned that I had left the class (the guy I sat next to told her that I said I was going to drop) and questioned me about it. I told her my reasons, and then she asked about taking the book back that she had checked out for me. I told her I'd meet her at school shortly and proceeded to drive there. This time she drove (she's crazy, yo!) to the library. I don't know if she did it on purpose, but we took the "scenic route" to the library which went out to Scottdale Mall. I'd estimate it to be about six miles out of the way. Not that I minded. In fact, I rather enjoyed it. It gave us that much longer to talk. We finally made it to the library and dropped off the book. She checked out another book so she could get the free token to get out of the parking lot. She said her stomach hurt, and when I asked "why?" she said it was because she hadn't eaten all day (if you ask me, I would say it was because she was having cramps [I feel sorry for women], but I wasn't going to say anything), so I offered to go get food with her. After a cute discussion about where we would go to eat (am I the only one doomed to be chronically indecisive about this sort of thing?) we decided on Marci's (it was good, too). Our conversation wasn't too indepth, but it was interesting. I think I talked too much, given that I had eaten only half of my sandwich by the time she was done (she had said she'd eat it fast, but I don't think in a normal situation she could hang with the legendary Tony). I got a box so she wouldn't have to watch me eat it and we left. She took the long way back to school to drop me off at my car, but again I'm not sure if that was on purpose or not. It may have been quicker timewise, anyway. Again, I didn't mind at all. We listened to Jimmy Fallon's new comedy album and laughed a lot. That's about it.

I'm not sure you could call that a date, but if it was, it was a good one. It might not have lasted as long as I would have liked, but I can't complain. Jeni's got really pretty eyes, and thinking about that made me think that all of my girlfriends have had beautiful eyes and I wonder if that's a coincidence. Whatever, though. I still really like her eyes. If I had to guess (?) what attracts me to her, I would actually have to attribute it to another girl I know who is married and has two kids (which makes her inaccessible in the world of dating). Except for the fact that she's married, I've pretty much fallen in love with her, or at least I thought I had. The more I thought about it, I hadn't fallen in love with her as much as I had fallen in love with who she is. I was attracted to certain things about her; little things that made her different than most other girls (which might be somewhat of a definition for being attracted to somebody), like her love of music. Hey! I like music, too. And while most people can say that they like, love, enjoy, etc. music, this is different. It's almost like music is more a part of her life than just an enjoyable footnote like most people. It's "little" things like the love of music, or her sense of humor to which I'm attracted. And the more I thought about this, the more I realized that quite possibly this girl is a model for that perfect somebody that I'm searching for (minus the married part, of course). I can't say that Jeni is this person; I just don't know her well enough. Besides, all of my girlfriends have fit this description up to this point, and look what happened with them. But at least she does fit this description so far. She's got a better chance of making me happy (and vice versa) than somebody who didn't fit into that mold.

And things I think would normally make me feel uncomfortble or think twice about a relationship with Jeni have actually been positives. For example, she's really into comic books. While somebody else might think of that as weird or "geeky," I find that comforting. I mean, I'm sort of a geek myself when it comes to some things. To name a few things, there's Star Trek, The X-Files, video games/computers, Notre Dame football... We can be geeks together! And I don't have anything against comic books, I've just never had a reason to get into them. Perhaps she can show me the exciting world of comic books and we could literally do that together. The possibilities are endless!

"So, other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?" Of course, this could all be moot if she's not interested in a relationship. I'd definitely be happy with a friendship. Lord knows I could use some new friends (to complement the ones I already have). But the attraction I have for Jeni is too strong for me to ignore right now. I plan on calling her up this weekend to see if she'd want to do something, but my shyness might get in the way. I think I'll have Sara pushing me, so that might help.

Movie Mini-Review: The Ring starring Naomi Watts. If you're asking "Who?", you're not alone. I had no clue as to any of the people in this movie (if you do know the actors in it, I hope you feel good about yourself. Here's your brownie-button). But, alas, an actor doesn't necessarily make a movie. In this case, however, I wasn't impressed with the story, so even the above-average acting (minus that stupid Sixth Sense-like kid) couldn't save the movie. The horror-esque atmosphere created for this movie never felt realized. I never felt scared. The horror part was replaced with a detective-style aura that would have added a nice touch to the scary parts--if there were scary parts. The movie included the always-present-in-decent-horror-movies pseudo ending where the scary thing comes back one more time (dammit!), and a twist that brought everything together that would have been good if it hadn't been a little too convenient.

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- March 27, 2003