Kahless: Greetings veiwers, for the first time so far we are not tracking Imperial or B5 fleet movements.
Z: Yeah, instead we're watching this HUGE Dominion fleet coming over to stomp on Starfleet a little.
Kahless:.....Z
Z:....um, yes?
Kahless: You just got pesimistic about the results of a battle in front of a Klingon. What do you have to say?
Z: Er.....that I meant to say; "Those Jem'Hedar better turn back 'cause we're gonna mash 'em into paste!!!"
Kahless: Much better Z! Now, you forgot one little thing.
Z: .....what am I forgeting?.....what am I forgeting?.... OH! DUH!! IT WILL BE A MOST GLORIOUS VICTORY!!!
Kahless: That's the spirit Z!!
Thunderbolt: WHY DOES IT ALWAYS TAKE SO LONG TO GET TO THE FIGHT?
Z: 'Cause we like to argue too, that's part of the fun!
Kahless: So Thunderbolt, how many Jem'Hedar ships are there?
Thunderbolt: WHAT?!?! I can't even get close enough to see anything except for a large cloud! How do you expect me to COUNT them!?!?
Kahless: Uh......nevermind....well, we've got an impressive force ourselves. The Defiant, Prometheus, Enterprise-E, 4 Galaxy Class Starships, * Ambassador class starships, and 14 smaller ships are joining a task force of Klingon Birds of Prey and White Stars.
Z: *gasp!* SURE!! JUST BLAB TOP-SECRET INFO WHILE WE'RE ON LIVE!!!!
Kahless: ooops......er....hopefully none of our enemies like our show.
The scene shifts to a Imperial Officer and a Vorta watching the battle commentary.
Imperial Officer: Hear that?Vorta: Yup. We have them!!!
Imperial Officer: And they call us stupid. *leans too far back and topples over*
Vorta:.....er, you ok?
Imperial Officer:...just.....get the camera out of here.....
Thunderbolt: Um.....the Dominion fleet is getting......larger......WHERE'S OUR FLEET?
Kahless: I can't answer that....not after that initial slip-up.....
Z: They should start fighting about....*looking at stopwatch*......NOW!
>Two seconds after Z yells 'Now' jumpgates open amist the Dominion fleet and White Stars come pouring out. At roughly the same time a ton of Klingon Birds of Prey decloak in front of the Dominion fleet.
Z: Alright!! Destruction!!!!
Jem'Hedar: RAH!! Under attack! Enemies! Must kill enemies!!!
Kahless: The Jem'Hedar have taken to feircly attacking our forces...the attack looks kind of mindless though....
Z: But of course, they come from the same school of battle that I do: KILL!!!!
Thunderbolt: The WhiteStars are winning!! All right!!!
Kahless: Thundy's right, the White Stars are weaving about the Jem ships...
Thunderbolt: THUNDY?!?!?!?!
Kahless: Oh, sorry, Z called you that once and I forgot myself.
Thunderbolt: Z!!!!
Z:......um........*runs*
Thunderbolt: YOU CAN'T OUTRUN A STAR FURY!!!! *chases Z*
Kahless: Wow! I didn't know Z could move so fast! er, well, the Jem are still losing, it's taking 2 Jem ships to destroy a White Star.
The White Stars and Jem'Hedar fight, the White Stars gun down the Jem'Hedar but take some losses, the Klingons also do heavy damage to the Jem'Hedar.
Kahless: This is a truly awesome battle, I wish I could do movies of these things! The Federation ships just came in!
Z: STOP SHOOTING AT ME!!!
Thunderbolt: But I wanna!!!
Kahless: STOP IT!!!
Thunderbolt and Z:..........
Kahless: The Battle field is a fireworks show of energy weapons and explosives. The dance continues, the forces of good and evil clash. The Jem'Hedar are out-gunned, but they fight fiercly and refuse to move. The Defiant tears through scores of Jem'Hedar ships while the Klingons fight valiantly....
Thunderbolt and Z: *backing away*
Kahless: HEY!!! How do you expect me to react to such a huge battle!!
Z: Well, we're tougher, but there are more Jem'Hedar, you could say it that way.
Jem'Hedar: Grrrr! Enemy too strong! Must crash into enemies!!Lower rank Jem'Hedar: YAY!
Kahless: The Jem'Hedar rush full speed surprising the White Stars! Over a dozen White Stars go down along with Klingon and Federation ships!
Z: Ack! Phsycos! They took down a Galaxy Class! But the Enterprise E shoots most of them down before they reach the Feds!
Thunderbolt: The Star Trek forces are running away! How typical!.......AH! The White Stars are running too!!!
Kahless: The White Stars speed out ahead of the pursuing Jem ships, and the Enterprise E and Defiant are covering the retreat of the slower ships.
Z: Uhhhh....Kahless! We got trouble!
Imperial SDs and Dominion "Star Destroyers" enter sublight speed in front of the White Stars.
Kahless: Almost everyone jerks back, but the unphased Klingons fire a mighty salvo into the reinforcements!
Z: Which barely phases the considerably larger ships.
Thunderbolt: Not to fear! The White Stars swoop in firing all weapons at the Destroyers.
Kahless" Actually they don't appear to be doing that much damage either.
Z: Simple answer: get bigger guns.
Thunderbolt: Hey! He's right! B5 always has back-up you know.
Several jumpgates open and Minbari heavy cruisers and destroyer class white stars fly out.
Kahless: The Destroyers are firing in all directions to try and fend off the multiple attacks. The DC White Stars and Minbari cruisers back off and the defense fleet is headed back for the Fighters.
Z: We're screwed aren't we?
Thunderbolt: Don't say that! Kahless'll get mad at you.
Kahless: The White Stars fire a hole through the Dominion's formation and Klingon warships rush in to fire on the outer fighters.
Z: What about the big ships?
Kahless: The Federation ships have turned around to fight them. The Enterprise E fires a full spread of Quantum torpedoes into a Star Destroyer, its shields are holding but it's slowed down. The Defiant is rushing one of the heavy Dominion warships.
Z: Ouch, I saw that Red Squad Episode........I CAN'T LOOK!!
Kahless: They fire away at each other, The Big Dominion ship only hits with one third of its shots but it does some damage to the Defiant. The Defiant hit with all its shots but the Dominion vessel looks unphased.
Thunderbolt: Ah! The Minbari are coming in!
Kahless: The Minbari ships fire every single weapon they have and cause massive damage to the Capital ship fleet. On SD erupts in flames and.....wait.....erupts in flames? This is space.
Z: So?
Kahless: Nothing to be lit aflame, no air=no fuel for the fire.
Thunderbolt: ummm.....I can't think of anything to explain it....
Z: It's inspired by Tv and bound to be inconsistant with real life so let's just forget it.
Kahless: Good idea Z, the SD in question crashed into a Big Dominion ship and knocked out its shields, the Prometheus and Enterprise E took it down with full weapons fire.
Z: Uh-oh! look over there!
All the Big Dominion ships open fire on the Federation ships.
Kahless: Most of the shots miss hitting White Stars, planets and Jem'Hedar fighters, but the Federation vessels still took heavy damage!
Thunderbolt: hey, K' the D.C. (Destroyer Class) White Stars are rushing the Imperial vessels.
Kahless: Three of the D.C. White Stars power up their main guns and fire at the SDs! One explodes and two lose most of thier shields!
Thunderbolt: What about that one-minute power outage thing?
Kahless: The other DC White Stars are covering the shorted-out ones.
Z: Hey, Kahless, what's that over there?
Kahless: Oi, the idea behind multiple commentators is that ONE individual is NOT trying to cover the WHOLE battle, and that's a Rebel fleet.
The Rebels swoop in and fire at the "Golf balls" on the SDs, popping some and damaging others. The main cruisers batter the Dominion ships.
Kahless: Well, the Empire's getting around to launching fighters now.
Thunderbolt: So are the Minbari.
Kahless: the TIEs begin a fierce assault that downs some X-Wings and a few Minbari fighters.
Z: Hey, some X-wings are headed over for the Dominion fighters.
Thunderbolt: Yeah, they're ganging up on a few and shooting them down.
Kahless: Things don't look too good over in the fighter-section. Most of the BOPs are Destroyed and The White Stars are looking pretty ragged. The Jem'Hedar ships have been mostly weeded out but there's still a lot left.
Thunderbolt: Hey, two Minbari Sharlins are heading for the Dominion fighters.
Kahless: Sharlins?
Thunderbolt: Minbari Heavy Cruisers, remember?
Kahless: Oh yeah, duh. Well, they've certainly attracted a lot of attention. The Jem'Hedar fighters are just barely able to puncture their hulls and they aren't hitting very often.
Z: Um, Kahless, aren't those DC White Stars supposed to be tough?
Kahless: Yeah? Why?
Z: Well, look for yourself.
Kahless: Oh, the SDs have forced them into a toe-to-toe slug out. The DC White Stars are being forced to back up as the SDs come at them.
Z: Why are they backing up?
Kahless: Shields hit hull, do the math. The Minbari are trying to move to assist but the Dominion Big ships are stubbornly blocking the way, they're slugging it out with the Sharlins.
Thunderbolt: HEY! Can you tell me what these radiation particles I'm picking up are?
Kahless: I think they're the type emitted by a large cloaking device.
A Super Star Destroyer materializes.
Z: Uh, a SSD? Can those things ACTUALLY cloak?!?!
Kahless: It seems obvious that they can. Oh-boy, it's letting out fighters.
Z: Kahless! phone's for you!
Kahless: Wha... this is a Klingon ship, there are NO PHONES.
Z: *turns subspace console into phon* There, happy?
Kahless: *rolls eyes* Quapla? Ah, Military Command?
.....uh-hu....
....that so?
......NO reinforcements?........The Whole Sector?!?
Retreat?! But you know how I hate retreating!....oh, fine.......yes sir.
*click* Ok people! It's time to head out!!
The Badly trashed 'good-guy' fleet limps off back to base. The 'bad-guy' fleet stops off at the local tavern to buy some celebration beverages--Yes, I KNOW Jem'Hedar don't eat or drink, but what else happens in bars? Fights! So you can see why they'd go!
Z: Well, Kahless left griping about losing again.....but this is Z signing off. See ya!
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