The scene 4 hours ago:
Kahless: A huge fleet of Star Destroyers... Z: Victory Class. Kahless: ...thank you, and a huge fleet of those half earth, half shadow ships.... Z: Warlock Class.

Kahless: Z,

Z: Yes?

Kahless: YOUR HELP IS UNNECCESARY!

Z: Fine....I'll leave.

Kahless: Sensors show that both ships are bringing their weapons to full power.

Z: ........I'm not speaking...........ooooh, but I wanna see ships blow up!! I'm coming back!

Kahless: Both sides have launched fighters. You know, it still amazes me just how many ties can fit on a Star Destroyer.

Z: Yeah, yeah, bring on the BOOM!

Kahless: Their firing! and.....this doesn't look right...

Z: What do you mean!?!? THEY AREN'T EVEN SHOOTING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!!!

Kahless: Well, the Star Destroyers are, they're making a perfect outline of the Warlock ships every-so-often, but you're right, most of the shots being fired go nowhere near the intended target.

Z: Nothing's this bad an aim! ......oh, wait, what if we're not seeing something, like a Borg or Shadow fleet? They could be shooting at them instead!

Kahless: Maybe, maybe....that's a good possibility.

Our battle hosts looked around for 15 minutes to see if there was an over-looked enemy that was being shot at; oddly enough, the ships were firing at empty space.

Now:

BLAM!!!

Z: *looks up from game of solitaire* Alright, a Warlock just hit a Star Destroyer!

Kahless: *still considering next move on his solitaire set-up* Ah, yes...very nice, this makes....*checks records* 1 hit for each side.

Z: And only an hour apart too!

Kahless: Well folks, I certainly hadn't expected this....I mean I knew they all aimed poorly....but THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!

Officer: Sir, we could decloak and help the B5 ships defeat the Empire?

Z: Yeah, he has a good idea! We haven't seen any action since we started!

Kahless: Yes we have we've overseen several battles.

Z: I mean we haven't fought anybody!

Kahless: Sorry, StarFleet Command made it clear that we are not to interfere directly, we might get the Federation into a war.

Z: So? If we help defeat the Empire the Alliance will help us against the Dominion won't they?

Kahless: Sorry, once upon a time that's what we'd be doing, but Star Trek is becoming increasingly....political.

Z: Politics....*shudder*

BLAM!

Kahless: Another hit so soon?

Z: Alright!!!! ...oh, that was a Star Destroyer hitting another Star Destroyer....

Kahless: Well folks, the two sides continue to fire in random directions, we'll be sure to report in when something interesting happens.

Hour 6:

Kahless: Well folks, I said we'd report in when something interesting happened and, ....well,.....I lied....

Z: All that's happened is the last fighters were destroyed-- by other fighters of course....

Kahless: Well, a Warlock Cruiser did hit another Warlock Cruiser.

Z: ....I spy with my little eye, something begining with, 'I'.

Kahless: Idiots who can't aim?

Z: Yeah, you know come to think of it, I can't actually see them, but oh well.

For about 2 minutes the fleets continue to miss each other

Kahless: Paper, Rock, Siccors?

Z: Sure..

Our two battle commentators proceed with the game....Kahless has siccors! But no! Z has rock!

Kahless: Why you little...
Our host Kahless is beating up our co-host Z!

Z: Ow! Ow! Stop it! You, you KLINGON!!!

Kahless: Is that supposed to be an insult? WHACK!!! Oh no! Z has head-butted Kahless! Kahless is holding his head and moaning!

BLAM!!

Z: Alright a Warlock hit a Star Destroyer!

Kahless: ....owwww....really?

Day 2:

Kahless: Well folks, both sides have lost 3 ships....on each side 2 to enemy fire, and 1 to friendly fire....

Z: I must admit; this is pathetic!

Kahless:..........

Z:.........

Kahless: And so we wait......poker?

Z: Again?

Kahless: Monopoly?

Z: Got the time, why not?

(the two play monopoly for a while, but decide they are bored with it and read a while)

Day 3:

Kahless: .......check.

Z: you know....I don't wanna be here anymore!

Kahless: I agree.

Z: How are we going to get out of it though?

Kahless: *punches in number on comminications panel* Hello, Gowron. Could you send a Vor' cha to pick us up? We need a new battle.

Gowron: Why, of course o' emporer, it will be there in two days. Gowron out.
heeheehee, Extra!

Extra: Yes sir?

Gowron: Send a Vor'cha to pick up 'the mighty Kahless' but tell them to wait a while, I want him to go through this boredom as long as possible.

Extra: Sir, did you forget to push the 'com. off' button again?

Gowron: ARG! *click*
Kahless: ...................................... Well, see if I ever do him any favors.

Z: Why do we even have to cover this battle? We could pick up and go now!

Kahless: No, we have to document all the major battles....and this one is important.....just not as exciting as it should be.

Z: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....*snore*

...

.....

After an agonizing wait our battle commentators are picked up on the Klingon ship the Pog'rah while the USS Vengeance is doomed to record the ever-slow battle: which at this time the causualties have increased to 4 ships per side.

Kahless: Well folks, that's it for this battle...well not really, but we're leaving anyway. We're off to Minbari space, the Empire has been scouting them out. Good bye everyone, see you soon, for Battle 4: Never get on the Minbari's bad side.

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