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Battles 41 to 45:
Battle #41: Haunting Mission March 30, 2000
Setting: Aqua Version
Player: Haunter [Record: Fairly Impressive though not recorded...] Last appearance: Fanfic 2
All speech is instantly translated in this battle, since "Haunter haunt, haunter!" is a bit unintelligible, and I don't want to go through the trouble of making all the lines go "Haunter haunt, haunter!" ~ Come on Gyarados, this way! ~ Enjoy the battle, and yes…resistance is futile.
HAUNTER and his ally GYARADOS are lost!
ERIC and MIKE are nowhere to be found!
Well, I hardly needed that pointed out.
Ally GYARADOS says forget them!
But they're the stars, if we want screen time we really should stick with them.
Ally GYARADOS says ok!
Ally GYARADOS wants to know what that is!
Why, I do believe that that is a Borg base.
My, these cybernetic zombies really have gotten out of hand haven't they?
BORG: YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUITILE.
BORG want to fight!
Well my good giant raging dragon, what should we do?
Ally GYARADOS says kick butt!
Ally GYARADOS used HYPER BEAM!
20 BORG DRONES blew up!
You never did excel in diplomacy, did you Gyarados?
Enemy BORG DRONE used ASSIMILATION MODULE!
Another DRONE used ASSIMILATION MODULE!
It doesn't affect HAUNTER!
Of course not, I'm a floating cloud of gases, how could nanoprobes assimilate me?
2 more DRONES walked up and used ASSIMILATION MODULE!
The first 2 DRONES used ASSIMILATION MODULE!
Still no effect!
Don't you get it?
HAUNTER used NIGHT SHADE!
3 BORG DRONES died!
Ally GYARADOS used DRAGON RAGE!
BORG BASE exploded!
I do believe that solves, that. Except for one stray…
HAUNTER used LICK!
Enemy BORG DRONE fell over paralyzed!
Ally GYARADOS used BITE!
That last BORG died!
That was rather easy.
TEAM ROCKET appeared!
You again? What do you want?
TEAM ROCKET wants to fight!
TEAM ROCKET used MOTTO!
Ally GYARADOS is greatly annoyed!
What do you want you incompetent heathen bunglers?
Enemy JESSIE pulled out ROCKET LAUNCHER!
Enemy JESSIE fired ROCKET LAUNCHER!
Enemy JAMES screams as he flies through the air!
What? Oh…Rocket launcher…uh-huh. I'd suspect as much from a Pokébattles Narration.
Enemy JAMES fainted!
Ally GYARADOS used DRAGON RAGE!
Enemies JESSIE and MEOWTH flew over the horizon!
Ally GYARADOS chased after them!
HEY!! Get back here! We ought to stick…ah, nevermind.
Ho-hum…how am I going to fix this mess?
Battle #42: Macho MeltdownApril 13, 2000
Setting: Aqua Version
Player: Water Villian [No Record]
HAHAHAHAHA!!
WHAT is so FUNNY!
Uh…was that a question?
YES!
Well, you see…I, the Water Villain have finally found a way to control my new liquid body and with my new water powers, no super hero, not even Poké Man can stop me! Sure, we were allies once, but…still, I'm going on a POWER TRIP HERE!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!
NO ONE can stop WATER VILLIAN!
That's right!
NO ONE except…HIM!
Him who?
MR. MACHO GUNG-HO ACTION MAN appeared!
Whoa, big dude…
The ARMOR makes him look bigger! MMGHAM is really only 7'10"!
…ha…ha…only 7'10" eh?
MMGHAM wants to fight!
Go Machamp!
Go! MACHAMP!
Wait a minute…how do you still have MACHAMP! You should have lost it when you became WATERVILLIAN!
Um…let's drop it. I'm not sure if I want to fight Macho here without a Pokémon.
MMGHAM sent out MACHO MAN!
Well…that's kind of obvious. Machamp, karate chop!
MACHAMP used KARATE CHOP!
A nearby KARATE STUDENT was CHOPPED!
Enemy MACHO MAN used SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!
Huh? Oh…Mr. Macho sent out the Pro-wrestler Macho Man. Ok.
Machamp, beat him up!
MACHAMP is loafing around!
Oh no…
MACHAMP asked for MACHO MAN'S autograph!
Evil as ever, narrator.
NARRATOR thanks WATERVILLIAN!
All right MMGHAM, it's just you and me!
Enemy MMGHAM used BAM-BOOM'S HIGH INTENSITY LASER!
WATERVILLIAN halfway evaporated!
AAAHHHH!!! Cheater!! I thought it was you and me!! Not me vs. you and the huge-death-gun!!
Enemy MMGHAM apologizes!
Enemy MMGHAM put BAM BOOM down!
Ha! Stupid heroes and your morals! DIE!!
WATERVILLIAN used ONE-OF-THOSE-REALLY-LONG-COSMICALLY-POWERFUL-IMAGINARY-ATTACKS!
WATERVILLIAN plowed into MMGHAM! …to no effect!
Whoo…stars mommy…all spinning…'round….and 'round….
WATERVILLIAN fell down in a PUDDLE!
Enemy MMGHAM is splashing around in PUDDLE like a little kid!
WATERVILLIAN was splatted all over the place!
Enemy MMGHAM and BAM BOOM left!
Urg…I'll…be back…and then…I shall have my revenge on Da Evolution Man!
EVOLUMAN didn't beat you! MMGHAM did!
I know…but….Evoluman's a…lot easier to beat…erp!
WATERVILLIAN fainted!
Plot revenge?
Battle #43: Evil HierarchyApril 13, 2000
Setting: Aqua Version
Player: Satan [No Record]
Things have not been going well recently…not well at all.
SATAN is down in the dumps!
You're telling me?
YES, NARRATOR is!
Fine. Idiot Pokébattles narrator…
SATAN fell and injured itself!
Ow…why'd you do that to me?
NARRATOR felt like it!
Well, you, narrator, are incapable of hurting me! I'll make you roast in the deepest…
EVIL RABID JIGGLYPUFF OF DOOM appeared!
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! IT'S BACK!!!!
Enemy DOOMPUFF wants to fight!
Well, hell's been going to…er…the dogs lately, this was only to be expected. A miserable end to a miserable week. I always knew this day would come. Somehow I always thought it would be the narration challenging me.
Enemy DOOMPUFF says once it's defeated you, it will rule HELL!
Uh…no you won't… I no longer own hell.
Enemy DOOMPUFF wants to know who does!
…Bill Gates. He got us in a hostile takeover.
Enemy DOOMPUFF laughs upon your misfortune!
You little…little…YOU!!!! You will die and suffer an eternity of torture!!!
Enemy DOOMPUFF laughs at IDLE THREAT!
Oh yeah? Go, legions of hell!
Go! LEGIONS OF HELL!
Enemy DOOMPUFF made SCARY FACE!
LEGIONS OF HELL ran away!
Like bats out of hell I assume?
NO! BATS can't move that fast!
All right Doompuff, your time has come!!
You may have destroyed all those other evil gods and stuff, but you caught us off guard and I am the most powerful of all!! I shall destroy you!!
SATAN is charging up!
SATAN channeled the power of ALL EVIL!
SATAN used ULTIMATE EVIL BLAST!
It's ultra destructive!
Enemy DOOMPUFF still stands!
Please…tell…me it's…badly hurt…
NO! In fact…enemy DOOMPUFF is glowing with POWER!
You mean…I just expended enough power to destroy a galaxy…only to make the Doompuff stronger?
Looks that way bub!
What have I done?
Enemy DOOMPUFF'S eyes burn red as it looks at you hungrily!
…help me…
Battle #44: Sabrina SolutionApril 13, 2000
Setting: Anime / Reality
Player: Eric [Record: 14-10-7] Last Battle: Loss vs. Doompuff (Battle #40)
Ah…Saffron City at last!
SABRINA says this place is a dump!
You know…I was only passing through here at night when I was last here, and I didn't notice….
The whole town is totally messed up! Looks like a hurricane hit the place.
…or…something smaller, meaner, and tougher!
SABRINA wants to know what the heck that could be!
Eh…remember that berserk drooling Jigglypuff?
SABRINA says no JIGGLYPUFF could do this!
No...no normal Jigglypuff!
That Jigglypuff, that…was none other than the Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom! An invincible god of destruction here to destroy everything!!!!
SABRINA wants to know how you know that!
Uh…actually, that's just my best guess.
Whatever it is, it's helluva tough.
SABRINA fell over!
Uh…what's wrong?
SABRINA says something's coming back!
HOLY…
Can't escape!
CURSE YOU, YOU EVIL, DARK, SOUL-LESS NARRATOR!!!!
FLATTERY will get ERIC flattened!
Hahaha…
SABRINA says she remembers DOOMPUFF attacking!
Yeah, that happened not long ago…Battle #40 to be precise.
SABRINA: Urg, that's not what…here!
SABRINA used MIND LINK!
Player: Sabrina [Record: 3-3-1] Last Battle: Saved Eric from Doompuff
FLASHBACK begins!
Hmm. Nice day out, don't you think Haunter?
HAUNTER nods!
HAUNTER juggles EYES!
Enough is enough Haunter…hey! What's that? It looks like a Jigglypuff but the psychic energy coming from it…
DOOMPUFF: JIGGLYPUFF!!!
EEEEWWWW!
HAUNTER has same reaction!
Enemy EVIL RABID JIGGLYPUFF OF DOOM says that it could use your power SABRINA!
And if I don't want to work for an evil ball of drool?
Then…DOOMPUFF shall kill you!
I'd like to see you try, "Doompuff." Haunter go!
HAUNTER is hiding!
HAUNTER says no way!
Coward, I'll do it myself.
SABRINA used MEGA PSYCHIC BEAM!
It doesn't affect enemy DOOMPUFF!
What?
EVIL types are immune to PSYCHIC POWER!
…not good.
Just means I'll have to try another tactic.
SABRINA used TK-TOSS!
Enemy DOOMPUFF was smashed through a BRICK WALL!
Enemy DOOMPUFF bounces back out unharmed!
Enemy DOOMPUFF used EVIL TACKLE!
It's super effective!
Ow! You're going to regret that.
SABRINA used FREAKY POWER!
Critical hit!
Enemy DOOMPUFF is shocked!
Major damage then?
…eh, RELATIVELY!
DOOMPUFF lost 0.5 HP!
Uh-oh.
Enemy DOOMPUFF is powering up!
I can't let this thing get another hit in.
SABRINA used MIND CRUSH!
Enemy DOOMPUFF has a headache!
Um…I'm running.
Can't escape!
Enemy DOOMPUFF used EVIL BITE!
OWW!!!!
SABRINA is bleeding!
I didn't need that pointed out…
SABRINA used RECOVER!
That's better. I hope I don't get rabies…
Enemy DOOMPUFF used EVIL BODY SLAM!
It's super effective!
SABRINA bounces along on the GROUND until she comes to a painful STOP!
Ow…*tries to get up* Ug…ground looks like a good place to rest…
Thud!
Enemy DOOMPUFF makes EYE CONTACT!
….
Enemy DOOMPUFF used MADNESS GLARE!
Enemy DOOMPUFF commands you to go on a mindless killing spree!
…yes, my master…
FLASHBACK ends!
Player: Eric [Record: 14-10-7] Last Battle: Loss vs. Doompuff
So you went insane, returned to the ways of evil and tried to kill us because of the Doompuff?
SABRINA says yes!
Even more reason to kill that evil little monster!! …if it was killable that is…
SABRINA nods!
SABRINA: All right Eric, you go. I have things to attend to now.
What? You're not out to kill me any more?
WHOO-HOO!
SABRINA: No, but if you don't leave right now I'll make it worth my time to end your meaningless existence.
Uh…Deal!
ERIC ran away!
SABRINA: Now…where to start? That Doompuff is going to rue the day it made me a recurring side-plot!
NARRATOR doubts that!
SABRINA: You care to see what I can do at full potential and not hindered by Doompuff control?
NARRATOR ran away!
SABRINA: I take that as a no.
Battle #45: Digital Adventure April 13, 2000
Setting: Aqua Version
Player: Fanboy [Record: 5-4-1] Last Battle: Loss vs. Angry Mob (Aqua War Event #1)
Look, Brendan…
BRENDAN: Call me, DigiMan.
Brendan, you've got to stop following me around.
BRENDAN wants to know why!
Why?! WHY!?! YOU NEVER STOP TALKING, YOU NIT-PICK EVERY LITTLE DAMN THING!!! YOU REMIND A LOT OF ILLUMINA'S BRENDON!!!
BRENDAN says he needs the screen time so AUDIENCE can see what he's like! Also that he hasn't appeared in enough battles for his REAL LIFE counterpart's liking!
BRENDAN complains that he hasn't been developed as a character yet!
Well, I've got something for you…
DIGIDESTINED appeared!
Huh?
DIGIDESTINED say they want AUGUMON back! …NOW!
BRENDAN: Well, if you want to get technical there is no such thing as now since time is in constant…
ARMOR PLATING sealed BRENDAN'S MOUTH shut!
THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! I AM IN YOUR DEBT GREAT NARRATOR!!!!
Think NOTHING of it!
AQUA WEBMASTER/NARRATOR tires of BRENDAN in REAL LIFE!
Wait…THINK a lot of it!
NARRATOR wants you in its DEBT!
Great…little wording that could have been changed…
DIGIDESTINED cough loudly trying to get ATTENTION!
Oh…yeah, sorry guys.
DIGIDESTINED want to fight!
Not again… Go Megatron!
Go! MEGATRON!
Ally BRENDAN sent out MOCCHI!
DIGIDESTINED sent out…A TRUCKLOAD of DIGIMON!
I see even the narrator has limited patience for naming everything… Megatron, fusion cannon attack!
MEGATRON used FUSION CANNON!
MOCCHI used MOCCHI CANNON!
Enemies BIYOMON and TENTAMON fainted!
Ha! You're losing again!
Enemy DIGIMON DIGIVOLVED!
Uh…uh-oh! Megatron…um…what other attacks do you have?
MEGATRON says he has STOMP!
MEGATRON demonstrated by STOMPING on you!
Owww…the…Digidestined…do it…to them!!
Enemy GARURUMON used HOWLING BLASTER!
MOCCHI fainted!
Ally BRENDAN sent out MEOWTH'S CLONE!
MEOWTH'S CLONE used FURY SWIPES!
It's not very effective.
Enemy DIGIMON focused their attacks on MEGATRON!
MEGATRON fainted!
Ok…go Xena!
Go! XENA!
Enemy IKAGUMON used FLOP!
Enemy IKAGUMON flopped on XENA and squished her!
XENA fainted!
Note to self: Xena types suck…use other types…
Go go Godzilla!
Go! GODZILLA!
Ha! Let's see you deal with that!
Enemy DIGIMON digivolved again!
MEOWTH'S CLONE ran away scared!
Ally BRENDAN sent out AUGUMON!
AUGUMON warp digivolved to WAR GREYMON!
What the heck?!
BRENDAN'S crest is the CREST OF INSANITY! He can use it like a night light!
Ok, let's destroy these losers!
GODZILLA and WAR GREYMON used TEAM DECIMATION!
Enemies ZUDOMON, WEREGARURUMON and LILYMON fainted!
Only Angemon left. Not that it cinches the battle mind you, Angemon's probably powerful enough to hurt Doompuff!
It's still not enough to defeat Godzilla and War Greymon! Surrender now!
TK: Ya know Tai…I hope we can have some ice cream when this is over.
What?!
Huh?
Enemy ANGEMON is OVERKILL DIGIVOLVING!
Oh yeah, TK's got the crest of hope…Wait a minute…MEGA FORM ANGEMON?!?! LET'S BOLT!!!
Ally BRENDAN has already done so!
WAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT FOOORRRRRR MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
FANBOY ran away!
DIGIDESTINED got AUGUMON back!
BATTLE ends!
Battle Note: Angemon actually is one of the few things powerful enough to hurt Doompuff! 1.1 HP damage, about two to ninety times what most attacks do.
That's all the battles on this page. More Aqua Weirdness can be found in the next series of battles, 46 through 50.
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