Kahless: Um. Hi. We've got another technological crossover fight…

Z: Um, pardon Kahless, he's still suffering from that ditz-blast that Sailor Moon got him with in Anime Annihilation.

Kahless: Yeah, like totally right there Z!

Z: I wanted to be the smartest commentator here, but this isn't exactly how I wanted to do it…

Kahless: You want to read the pad that Admiral Ross gave me? Looks complicated…

Z: Ok Kahless, I know your brain isn't working right now. Hmm, this is a run-down on all modified ships. There are only 5 Sovereign class Starships in Starfleet, and every single one of them has been modified to varying degrees with various technologies.

Kahless: It seems just a touch…ah…overkill…if you know what I mean.

Z: Well, to that I say…"There's no kill like overkill!" In example, we usually bring a force of normal ships to assist the advanced ships, as we're doing now.

Kahless: *nods* um-hum.

Z: God I hope this doesn't last… Also out of the 13 remaining Galaxy class vessels, 10 of them have been totally supped up. Over 50 other Federation ships, 68 Romulan and 74 Klingon ships have been refitted to make up the Elite Fleet.

Kahless starts mending his nails in boredom--now that he has the attention span of a gnat…

Z: Also added to the refit list are about 50 ships from each member of the ISA. Roughly 40 Rebel ships are in the Elite Fleet as well. There are hundreds of upgraded ships in every fleet, but only the most extensively reformatted and most powerful go into the Elite Fleet. The Sovereign classes aren't full-time Elite Fleet ships but often go with on missions.

Kahless: What about those creep-a-zoids that give us so much trouble?

Z: Ah, well it seems that their Elite Force is composed of about 90 various Imperial ships, 80 Dominion and 80 Drahk. They also have hundreds of somewhat reformatted ships, but only the best get into their Elite Force.

Kahless: Like that helluva freaky Shadow Destroyer. *shudders* That thing's ugly!

Z: Yeah, worst part is that the Empire is making more of the damn things! We've sabotaged the hell out of them, but it's only a matter of time before they come online.

Kahless: Ok, I'm BOOOOORREEED! Let's get to the FIIIIIREWOOOORKS!

Z: You're stepping on my territory there K'.

Kahless: Sorry…but I aaaaam boooorrreeeed!

Z: FINE!! JUST STOP THAT GOD-AWFUL WHINING!!!!

Kahless: 'Kay!

Z: We've joined Wing 2 of the fleet, this one is made for search-and-destroy missions.

Kahless: Ooh…who we after?

Z: Well…be, vewy, vewy quiet, it Dwak season!

Kahless: *laughs* Great Elmer Fudd impersonation Z! *still laughing*

Z: No one does impressions like I do! Now we suspect a pocket of null space around here somewhere, but we got to find the thing first.

Kahless: *still laughing like an idiot for no comprehensible reason*

Z smashes Kahless into the deck plate with a huge hammer.

Kahless: Owie…*starts whining/crying*

Z: I hate to say this, but I miss old Kahless!!

Kahless: Really?

Z: Shad up! Fighter wing 42 just disappeared, could be Drahk. White Stars and Defiants are being dispatched to look into it.

Kahless: I…

Z: Keep quiet and don't think much. Maybe if you concentrate on being Kahless you can get rid of the effects of that damn attack.

Kahless: Concentrate?! That's like thinking, isn't it?

Z: *falls over* this is going to be difficult…

Ivanova: Ivanova calling Galactic Anarchy crew, come in please.

Kahless: Sure thing bab…

Z: *tackles Kahless* Don't mind him! This is Z, over.

Ivanova: I'm joining the fleet, they've upgraded my Warlock. Initiate real-time COM links, I'm supposed to keep in contact with you for this mission.

Kahless: Mmmmpphh--hmmpphaaaggrrr *trying to get Z's hand off his mouth*

Z: No problem, constant contact initiated, using my equipment to mask the transmission from enemy sensors.

Ivanova: Good, we're also having the Rebel leader Luke Skywalker, turn it on for him too.

Z: What's the magic word?

Ivanova: DO IT NOW OR YOU'LL BE EATING YOUR SPLEEN!!

Z: Ok, ok, yeesh people around here are pushy.

Luke: Hello Z, Kahless, Ivanova. We've got a fix on the Drahk's fleet in null space, they where the ones who took out those fighters. Defiants, White Stars and fighter craft are in position, waiting for the heavy artillery.

Z: Look no farther! The fleet's heading for your position.

Ivanova: I'll take some ships and position at these coordinates *sends to fleet* We'll catch them from two directions, but should still be close enough to help each other out.

Kahless: Ever notice Ivanova's really hot for a human?

Ivanova looks as if she might have heard that and glares at the commentators on her screen, Z starts sweating and shoves Kahless out of the room.

Luke: Who gives the order?

Lennier: As if there's any question…

Ivanova: ME! FIRE ALL WEAPONS!!

Z: Ooh, my favorite part. All those ships lighting up the sky with all sorts of colors, firing every type of weapon we've got.

Ivanova: I notice some of our pulse phasers aren't firing…why is that?

Lennier: Very sorry about that! I just missed the buttons for them is all.

Kahless: *reenters the room* Ooh, pretty colors. I like Ivanova's Warlock, pulse phasers, quantum torpedoes, disrupters, concussion missiles and ion cannons added to the Warlock's already scary weapons array.

Z: Hey, Kahless, your IQ and personality are starting to return! YES!! Oh, and I agree…that Warlock can tear a normal Sharlin to pieces. And here come the Drahk!! It took them a while to get over the shock of being bombarded but they're attacking now!

Luke: Any truth to the rumors that the SSD we stole is being refitted for this fleet?

Z: Maybe, maybe not. Uh-oh, looks like we overlooked something…

Ivanova: What, an Imperial base that's sending reinforcements as we speak?

Z: Why…yes. How did you know?

Ivanova: Damn, I hate it when my pessimistic smart-cracks turn out to be true. The Drahk are attacking with a real vengeance!

Luke: I'll take a wing of lighter attack craft and engage those carriers, you have your hands full as it is.

Z: Imperial ships coming in! Stealth fitted Warbirds firing plasma torpedoes, disrupters and slicers into them!

Ivanova: My ships will take the Imperials, Z, you and the rest take out the Drahk!

Kahless: IMPRESSIVE!

Z: I'll say, 15 Quantum torpedoes, 30 Concussive torpedoes, 20 EA missiles all at once tear some nice holes into an unfortunate ISD! Starfleet ships are unloading torpedoes into the Drahk, but they continue their attack! The fleet is being pushed back even though they're dishing out four times the received casualties!

Kahless: Drahk go boom, Drahk go boom, Drahk go boom, our fighter goes boom, hole torn in a ship of ours… yep, looks like you're right.

The battle wages fiercely for over half an hour, the Alliance's Elite Fleet being pushed slowly back, unfortunately they're largely surrounded so they're heading into each other. The Drahk forces where greatly underestimated and a total of over 2000 ships pour out. The massively out-numbered Elite Fleet puts its far superior firepower to good use though. The Imperial reinforcements numbered about 750 upon arrival, keeping with tradition TIEs die in droves of thousands. With nearly a quarter of the fleet destroyed or crippled, and half of the enemy forces remaining it looks like the end.

Lennier: Pulse phasers 8 through 12 are offline, we've expended all but 40 of our explosive projectile weapons!

Ivanova: I don't think we have any better use to put them too…fire all projectiles into the two ISDs on our port side!

5 Quantum Torpedoes, 10 Concussive missiles, and 5 EA missiles each hit an ISD. One ship is badly damaged and blows up right then and there, the other one takes the damage better and is set adrift, with its front quarter blown off.

Ivanova: Good job, now get those interceptor systems back online and fire Shadow slicer weapons to try and back those ships off.

Z: We're under some massive fire here, most of our ships have massive loss of forward shielding, and Imperial ships are starting to hit our backsides now…

Kahless: WE'RE DOOOOOMED!!!!!!!!

Z: Don't worry Kahless, for no matter what happens…

Kahless: …huh?

Z: …I'll survive!

Kahless: *sighs* go fig…

ZOOOOMM!!!

Kahless: ACK!! What's that?!?!

Luke: THAT is an Eclipse Class Super Star Destroyer.

Ivanova: Tell me. Or we going to die, or is that the Asskicker?

Lennier: Looks like we live today, it's the Asskicker.

Ivanova: Something tells me the Imperials are in trouble....

On the bridge of the lead Imperial ship:

Admiral: Ensign!

Ensign: Yes sir?!

Admiral: Get me my brown pants!!!

On the Asskicker:

Big Steve: Are the additional weapons online?

Rebel Ensign: Yes sir, Quantum torpedo rotational launchers and Minbari slicers armed and ready. The bio-armor isn't up yet, it's been placed in and begun growing in over a hundred locations, but it will take a long time to grow over a ship this size.

Big Steve: Good, all weapons online, fire at anything Imperial in sight!

Virtually the entire surface of the Asskicker lights up, a virtual wall of the green turbo lasers flow from thousands of turbo laser all along the hull. Steady yellow streams stand boldly out and bright blue flashes streak out.

Scene pans over to the commentator's ship, where Z and the recently ditz-ified Kahless are staring and drooling at the awesome light show provided by the Asskicker and its exploding targets.

Big Steve: Hey, Kahless, Z…jealous?

Z: HMPH! As if! Oh, Steve have you replaced all the blind Imperial gunners? You're hitting a lot of enemy targets I see.

Big Steve: Pretty much. Here are two of my gunners!

Scene shifts to side-by-side MTL turrets. Two vaguely familiar dudes are blowing up every TIE and small Imperial ship that gets close.

Beavis: Heh heh heh, this is cool!

Butthead: Yeah, TIEs suck!

Beavis: Ya!

Butthead: Direct hit, gunner Beavis!!!

Beavis goes nuts, and shoots up a damaged ISD.

Z: Three ISDs have run away…not that I blame them in this case. Almost all of the Imperial ships are fighting Big Steve's ship!

Ivanova: Allowing us to focus on the Drahk! All ships fire all weapons into the Drahk fleet!

The fire focused on the Drahk fleet nearly doubles as the rest of the Elite Fleet comes about and fires on the Drahk. In about half a minute a hundred Drahk ships explode, and the remaining 800 or so take on mixed reactions.

Z: Nearly a hundred Drahk ships have jumped into hyperspace! The entire Elite Fleet and its support vessel are firing into the Drahk forces, turning the tide of battle! Our torpedo and missile reserves are starting to diminish though…

KABOOM!!!

Kahless: WHOA?! BIG BOOM!

Z: The Asskicker fired its superlaser right into the thickest portions of the enemy fleet! The Drahk forces are scattering, some more retreating, it's a slaughter now!!

Kahless: Ya know…I'm a bit opposed to this shooting fish in a barrel fighting though…

Luke: You have to remember, they wouldn't hesitate to do it to us!

Z: The Elite Fleet has broken up again, firing on Imperial and Drahk targets, the Asskicker has fired its superlaser two more times! The steady stream of weapons fire is cutting a path through those bastards!!!

Ivanova, Big Steve, and Kahless: WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO--YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Z: The remaining enemy forces are retreating! I think that should do it for today, 600 Imperial ships, 1,300 Drahk, some…

Big Steve: ASSES KICKED!!!!

Z: YEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!!!

Ivanova: We waste a few more ships trying to run, fights over, who wants to come over to my ship, (EAS Warlock) and join our celebration? I've got some good Vodka saved up!

Z: Doesn't sound half bad does it?

Big Steve: Nope, I don't think I'll be getting drunk, but a party sounds good!

Ivanova: To limit the amount of needless bloodshed, we won't be serving any sugarcoated foods.

Z and Kahless: THANK YOU!!

Big Steve: Huh?! DAMN IT!!!!

Kahless: Vodka…wuss Earth drink, I'll get some bloodwine. But count me in!!

Luke: Well I found out this morning that Leia's my sister, so…I guess I better get something in my mouth. *BLECH!!*

Ivanova: Good! It's a date. See you soon.

Screen turns off.

Kahless: Date?

Z: *waves hand in front of Kahless* Yo! You're drooling…

Big Steve: Knock him upside the head, and if that doesn't work, I'll do it on the Warlock.

BONK!!

Kahless: OW!! What was that for?!?!