Kahless: Hello, I am one of your hosts, Kahless

Z: and I am the almighty z, your other host! We are reporting live the Sovereign class starship, the U.S.S. Vengeance.

Kahless: as we come on the scene here an imperial star destroyer is encountering a rupture in the space-time continuum, bringing it to the B5 universe!

Z: poor B5, tsk, tsk, tsk.

Kahless: Ivanova's there, you know.

Z: oh, then this will be interesting.

Kahless: it seems that the SD is disposing of any formalities after only one communication and beginning the battle immediately, Ivanova's responded, gun turrets open and star furies away!

Z: wait, Shiridan's in charge, not Ivanova, why does she just launch like that?

Kahless: seeing how the SD already blew off one of the forward prongs, I don't think he'll mind.

Z: ok, makes sense. Geez! Ever wonder how so many tie fighters fit on one ship!?!?

Kahless: you make a good point, the ties must outnumber the furies at least 10 to 1!

Z: ties are firing!

Kahless: Geez! Is it possible to fire that much and still miss!?

Z: apparently so Kahless, the ties have yet to hit a single fury! Oh, wait one just got nicked in the thruster.

Kahless; star furies are finally returning fire! Wow, they aim a lot better than the ties! At least half of the fury's shots are hitting home!

Z; oooh, explosions...

Kahless; the star furies are running circles around the tie fighters and blasting away! I don't know how long they can keep it up though, the tie bombers are arriving.

Z; maybe the station will make a fight of it.

Kahless; star furies and tie fighters still going at it, looks like the tie fighter strategy of madly strafing is beginning to work!

Z; ...pretty colors...

Kahless; z, could you help with the battle commentary?

Z; oh, fine, looks like the um...ties, yeah, that's it are still being, hum, massacred--no, slaughtered by the...um, star furies.

Kahless; could you go a little bit faster?

Z; uh, ok. thestardestroyerisclosingonBabylonfive AlmostInweaponsrangenowgunsonbothsidescharging up!!!

Kahless; allow me to translate z's ramblings: the star destroyer is closing on Babylon 5, almost in weapons range now, guns on both sides charging up!

Z;...

Kahless; but the star furies are attacking the SD and it's slowing down to return fire!

Z;...

Kahless; oh, fine! You want to be that way? Two can play THAT game!

Z;...

Kahless;...

Z;...

Kahless;...

Z;...

Kahless;...

Z;...

Star Furies and Tie Fighters: BLAM!! BLAM!! BLAM!! BLAM!!
B5 and Star Destroyer: BLAM!! BLAM!! BLAM!! BLAM!!

Kahless; aw! Look at what you've done! We've missed the initial battle of B5 and the SD!

Z; not my fault.

Kahless; doesn't look like either has sustained damage. Their respective interceptor systems seem to be working.

Z; so what? It's all over, Darth Vader has started using the force choke on B5 personnel, they don't have a chance...

Kahless; wait! They cut loose Lyta Alexander!!

Z; pff, what she gonna do? Glow?

Kahless: her eyes are glowing, and she's telepathically attacking Vader. Vader is using the force, wait this is weird. Watch those TV shows were two beams hit each other and bounce back and forth? Well that's what is happening now.

Z: Lyta's dead, dead dead. What?!!? She looks about even with Vader, that's no fair! Ah! He has the FORCE, she's got glowing eyes!! How dare she be on Vader's level!!

Kahless: This is looking close….oh no! Lyta's collapsed!

Z: Ha-Ha.

Kahless: What's the B5 crew going to do now?

Z: die I would think…

Kahless: Hey, the star destroyer is evil, it has to lose.

Z: you yourself once said that if evil wins every so often it's more believable, anyway the B5 team is now helpless against Vader.

Kahless: Wait, this just in! Marcus has been ordered to annoy Darth Vader to death!

Z: Annoy Vader to death!?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. How can anyone do that?

Kahless: have you ever heard Marcus sing?

Z: oh no, one of those…

Kahless: COM channel has been opened, and Marcus begins!

Z: Oh my god!! THE HUMANITY!!! Marcus IS RAPPING!!! I can't take it!!!

Kahless: we're only getting the fall out here! Imagine what Vader is going through!

Z: yes, the dark knight is trying to clutch his ears! He can't take it! OH GOD NO, MARCUS ISN'T GETTING TIRED!!! DON'T TELL ME I HAVE TO ENDURE HIS SINGING THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE BATTLE!!!

Kahless: the star destroyer is….moving away? Oh, it's headed for the jump gate, it's charging weapons and Ivanova has taken charge of B5's forward pulse cannon.

Z: 7 shots fired, 7 hits and 2 disabled thrusters--is it any wonder everyone likes her?

Kahless: the star destroyer is coming about, firing, and B5 loses its other forward prong. Several hits get in burning the hull and tossing the crew around, but the interceptors are getting the majority of the star destroyer's shots.

Z: the star destroyer is taking even less damage than B5, I may not lose all that money after all.

Kahless: YOU BET ON THIS!?!?!?

Z: You bet I did.

Kahless: The star furies and tie fighters are still going at it. And B5 and the station are 'side by side', unloading their entire weapon compliments onto each other.

Z: A jump gate is forming, and a WHITE STAR is coming out!?!?! This was supposed to be B5 vs. SD, NOT B5 AND WHITE STAR VS. SD!!!

Kahless: I'm sorry z, I agree with you, but B5's contract clearly states that it has to be saved by Membari ships and/or White Stars. I know it's unfair, wait…back to the battle, the White Star has blown off one of those big golf-ball things that power the shields and is sending a message to back off.

Z: what the H*LL?!?!!?!? The SD is actually backing off!?!?!?!

Kahless: Vader's getting up, still tortured by Marcus's relentlessness. He's raising his hand, and slowly pointing it at the nearest pilot.

Z: whoo-hoo! The SD snaps back around and starts unloading!!

Kahless: Are the gunners actually aiming now? White Star 17 has lost a wing and B5 has a hull breach!

Z: D*MN White Star!!! It's blown away 20 of the SD's gun turrets!!

Kahless: but they're making good use of their remaining 100, they've even hit a star fury! Hahahahaha, and 8 of their own tie fighters!

Z: AIM D*MN YOU!!, AIM!!!

Kahless: The white star is pulling back, taking time to repair, but is pursued by Tie Interceptors.

Z: Babylon 5 is firing rapidly but doesn't appear to be slowing down the star destroyer too much.

Kahless: Babylon 5 looks doomed, it's taken two more hull breaches, but the white star is coming back, laying waste to the other golf-ball shaped shield generator.

Kahless: On the Star Destroyer the Admiral has issued a retreat order, but Vader has other plans despite the un-jammable signal Marcus is sending to him.

Z: Vader is saying…I can't tell, beam a soundman in there. "No, the Empire is to be feared! We do not retreat!"

Kahless: what's that Marcus is pulling out?

Z: it's a stamp collection! Vader must have a terrified look behind that mask, he's ordering a retreat!

Kahless: tie fighters zip in and the Star Destroyer zooms away at light-speed. I think this has the jump-gate orientated B5 crew confused, but nonetheless relived.

Z: This is Z and Kahless signing BLAM!!

Kahless: What the?!?!? The Borg? They must have followed us!

Z: Uh…Kahless…LOOK!!

(two shadow ships laced with Borg technology head for the USS Vengeance)

Kahless: this is Kahless reporting from the wildly dodging USS Vengeance, we are exploring 2 possibilities of what to do, 1 we call in the klingon task force, 2 we lure the borg into dominion space. Either way, we'll see you soon BLAM!!…hopefully entirely human…