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This is something I origonally posted on SG-1.net (back when any of the staff members answered my E-Mails). I decided to reprint it here because...well...I wrote it! There were a couple things I changed, simply because they aren't that funny anymore (were they ever?)
Top Ten Things That Will Never Happen On Stargate SG-1: Part 2
10. In an episode devoted entirely to Apophis, we find he is a very large disco fan.
9. A guest star without a Canadian accent (eh?)
8. After watching 24 straight hours of Jerry Springer, Daniel Jackson decideds to give himself a make-over, and subsequently comes to the SGC dressed in black leather, silver chains, and spiked hair.
7. Heru'ur realises he's gay, and joins the YMCA.
6. A main character dies due to food poisoning from what 'tasted like chicken' but in actuality wasn't.
5. Jack O'Neill gets possessed by a goa'uld, and bores everyone to death with MacGyver re-runs.
4. A whole episode goes by without anything having to do with aliens.
3. Due to a freaky accident involving drunken soliders, baked beans, and a match, the Stargate is inadvertently blown to little pieces.
2. Carter accidentally mis-interprets one of Hammonds comments, and gives him the "Just because my reproductive organs are on the inside..." line.
1. General Hammond decides to join Hair Club for Men.
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