The Revival of a Rebel Jew
by
Richard Ganz
In my youth I spent every afternoon studying the
Hebrew Scriptures, five days a week, and on Friday night and
Saturday I worshipped. As I grew older I worshipped for a time
each day in the synagogue morning and evening. I would rise before
dawn and before going to the morning service, in obedience to
rabbinic tradition, I would put on tefillin - the
boxes containing God’s law - on my forehead and arm.
Then one cold, clear midwinter night my life was
shattered. My father had a heart attack and I ran for comfort and
hope to the one place I thought I would find it - the synagogue.
The doors were locked and as I hammered on them I looked up into
the New York night sky, cold, crystal-clear and filled with stars
and I cursed God. "I am through with you!" I said. But
that night, as I turned away from the God of Israel; the God of
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, little did I realise that he was far
from through with me.
The next twelve years of my life were not lived
in the synagogue. In my rebellion I went so far as to renounce the
covenant name given at my circumcision -Elkanah. I modified it a
little, so that I was no longer Elkanah but Kanah.
In the Bible there is nothing accidental about
names. Abram means, "Exalted father" and Abraham means,
"Father of a multitude". When he was 99 years old and
Sarah was 89 and they were promised a son they laughed at God. But
God said he would give them a son and they named him Isaac, which
means, "laughter".
When Jacob and Esau were born and Jacob pulled
at the heel of his brother he was named for that action; the name
Jacob means, "the grasper" and all his life he grasped.
He grasped after the blessing and the birthright. He lived up to
that name and when he met God and wrestled with him he said, I
want your blessing. God said, What is your name? You want a
blessing, grasper? No longer is your name "Grasper"; you
have grasped with God and you have prevailed. Your name is, Israel
- he who has wrestled with God and prevailed.
The Hebrew name Elkanah means, "Possessed
by God" but I changed it to Kanah, translated Cain in English
versions of the Bible. Cain means, "Possessed"; and for
the next twelve years of my life I was possessed with the world
and with what it offered; I was possessed with getting ahead in
life; I was possessed with Rich Ganz. I led what appeared to be a
very laudable life. I moved ahead in what I desired to do. I went
through university and graduate school, from which I graduated top
of the class. Following my internship and a year of post-doctoral
study, I was teaching at a medical centre at a major university.
The Twilight Zone
During my year of post doctoral studies, the
realisation hit me one day at a staff meeting that psychoanalysis
- the area I thought provided the answer to life - was nonsense.
Until that point I had been searching for some form of therapy -
individual therapy, group therapy, hypnotherapy or some other kind
of therapy through which I could discover the meaning of life:
what we were all about and why we’re here. Instead, I discovered
that it was all rubbish. But instead of looking for the answer to
life elsewhere I cynically told myself that although
psychoanalysis was meaningless I was going to become very rich
practising it. If life was meaningless at least I could have fun
by being wealthy in a meaningless life. All I had to do was sit in
a chair listening to my patients, nod my head every few minutes,
and charge $75 an hour.
To celebrate my selection from 212 applicants to
that position at the university medical centre my wife and I took
a trip to Europe into a series of unbelievable situations. We had
tickets for Athens scheduled but the night before we picked them
up my wife suddenly sat bolt upright up in bed saying, "We
can’t get out of Athens! We can’t get out of Athens!" The
next day when arriving to pick up our student-rate tickets we were
told that the tickets would get us into Athens but not out!
Nancy became terrified. She thought she was in
the Twilight Zone; something supernatural had happened and the
only interpretation she could place on it was that it was
something evil. We changed our plans and found ourselves being
drawn inexplicably and inextricably in a direction totally
contrary to our agenda.
We ended up in a little Dutch town looking for
somewhere to stay. No one knew of any hotel or inn. Night was
falling, we were on the banks of the Rhine, it was getting a
chilly and my wife was frightened. She then did something she
hadn’t done since she was a child - she prayed. It was a very
simple prayer: "God, if you are there, please find us a place
to stay". At that moment , out of the darkness of an alley
walked a man of average height, very pale, with long blond hair
and blue eyes. "Ask him", she said.
Tell Them Buck Sent You
He told us to go three blocks down, turn right,
walk another three blocks and we would see exactly where we were
supposed to stay: "Just tell them Buck sent you", he
said. It seemed bizarre but we followed his directions until we
came to a co-operative for the students of the last gold and
silver making school in Europe. During the next two weeks we saw
all the people who had told us there was no place to stay. They
were all friends with the young people who lived in this house but
there was one person we didn’t meet again; for two weeks we
searched for Buck. No one in the town had ever heard of him or
recognised our description of him. A year later I was receiving
letters from students who were still trying to find him.
On the last day, as we were leaving, someone
handed me a slip of paper with an address and told me there were
"some really beautiful people" there. I knew I was being
drawn in a certain direction and it seemed as though every step
was being taken for me and it was predestined.
We arrived at L’Abri at about five on a
Saturday afternoon. I had prepared a careful explanation as to why
we were suddenly turning up on their doorstep. However, before I
could say anything, the door opened and we were greeted:
"You’ve arrived! Welcome.".
Anyone at the Cross Could Have Written That!
The next few days were interesting. They were full
of religious discussion. But as a man with no sense of God, seeing
myself as a chance accumulation of molecules in an absurd and
meaningless world, I listened and talked to these people,
questioning and mocking their beliefs. Then one day a man asked me
if he could read something from the Bible to me. I consented, and
this is what he read.
Behold, My Servant shall deal prudently; He shall
be exalted and extolled and be very high. Just as many were
astonished at you, so His visage was marred more than any man,
and His form more than the sons of men; so shall He sprinkle
many nations. Kings shall shut their mouths at Him; for what had
not been told them they shall see, and what they had not heard
they shall consider.
Who has believed our report? And to whom has
the arm of the LORD been revealed? For He shall grow up before
Him as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground. He has
no form or comeliness; and when we see Him, there is no beauty
that we should desire Him. He is despised and rejected by men, a
Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
I’d heard that expression "Man of
sorrows" and "acquainted with grief" before, though
I wasn’t sure where. But at that point I suddenly understood
what was happening: they were reading to me about Jesus. I
thought, Do they know what they are doing, reading this Christian
stuff to a Jew? But I told myself to be patient.
Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our
sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and
afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions...
Images of Renaissance paintings leapt to my
mind. I wasn’t an ordinary Jewish guy; I had a doctorate; I was
cultured; I’d seen paintings with crosses; I knew that their guy
had been pierced. They were trying to read me stories about Jesus
and I felt the anger rising in me.
...He was bruised for our iniquities; the
chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we
are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned,
every one, to his own way; and the LORD has laid on Him the
iniquity of us all...
Jesus just bore your sins! I couldn’t stand
it. That was just a cheap way out of long term psychoanalysis.
What they were telling me was "the Catholic way". From
the age of seven, when I had walked into a Catholic church I
thought Jesus was a Catholic: Scandinavian, perhaps, very
delicate, tall, thin - slightly anorexic - with long silken blond
hair and piercing blue eyes. I had got as far as the vestibule of
the church, looked at one of the statues and thought that the
ground was going to open up and swallow me; that I was unalterably
damned for having done that and I ran eight blocks home to get
away from what I considered an unpardonable sin.
...He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He
opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, and
as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so He opened not His
mouth. He was taken from prison and from judgement, and who will
declare His generation? For He was cut off from the land of the
living; for the transgressions of My people He was stricken. And
they made His grave with the wicked -- but with the rich at His
death...
I remembered pictures of Jesus on the cross and
the two thieves, one on either side of him. Three crosses - I knew
that stuff; they weren’t going to fool me with their rhetoric.
...but with the rich at His death, because He had
done no violence, nor was any deceit in His mouth. Yet it
pleased the LORD to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief. When
You make His soul an offering for sin, He shall see His seed, He
shall prolong His days...
There was the myth about the resurrection. They
get it into all their literature, don’t they. They can’t
accept the fact that once a person is dead, he’s dead. Grow up!
Put away your infantile neuroses and realise that when you’re
dead, you’re dead; that’s it.
...He shall see the labour of His soul, and be
satisfied. By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify
many, for He shall bear their iniquities. Therefore I will
divide Him a portion with the great, and He shall divide the
spoil with the strong, because He poured out His soul unto
death, and He was numbered with the transgressors, and He bore
the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
When he finished reading, he looked at me and
said, "What do you think?"
I was, of course, keen to give the benefit of my
insights. They were obviously quoting to me from their New
Testament and I responded without a moment’s hesitation:
"Anyone who was there at that cross could have written that
stuff! What does that prove?"
He handed me the Bible and in a millisecond of
receiving it, my life was changed. The name that I saw at the top
of the page was Isaiah! They had been reading from my Bible, my
Hebrew Scriptures and I felt as though someone had taken a sword
and cut me to pieces. When the man who read it told me it was
written 700 years before Jesus was born, I felt dead. Why
couldn’t it be Krishna? Why couldn’t it be Buddha? Why
does it have to be him? I knew at that instant that if
Jesus wrote history about himself in my Bible - if the Gentile God
was the Jewish God and he was truly God - then I had to submit
everything to him for the rest of my life.
A Bird’s Eye View of the Bible
During our stay at L’Abri, someone gave my wife
Nancy a tape by Edith Schaeffer called, A Bird’s-Eye
View of the Bible, an overview of the Scriptures from
Genesis through to Revelation in 40 minutes, dealing with the
theme of the Lamb of God. From her earliest days until her
confirmation she had been familiar with the phrase, "Behold
the Lamb of God", and always wondered why Jesus was given
that name. Just as I had learned from Isaiah that Messiah was to
be a sacrifice for sin, Nancy discovered the same truth from that
title given to Jesus. After listening to the tape she went out to
the apple orchard at L’Abri and surrendered her life to Jesus
Christ.
Four Little Words
When we returned to the United States I was given a
patient at the medical centre who hadn’t spoken an intelligent
word in four and a half years. My assignment was, Get Immanuel to
speak four or five words coherently. He came into my group therapy
session, sat down and began to hyperventilate and writhe around.
He said, "I’m Jesus Christ!" I pulled out a Gideon New
Testament and read from the 24th chapter of Matthew’s Gospel:
"Then if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’
or ‘There!’ do not believe it ... For as the lightning comes
from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of
the Son of Man be".
Silence.
"Where did you read that?"
I threw the Bible to him, "In the Gospel of
Matthew. Read it."
And for a month he was silent, then he came to
my office: "Dr. Ganz [I was impressed], I want to become a
Christian."
I took Immanuel into my office, shared the Good
News of Jesus with him and, with tears, he received Christ. The
next day the director of my department called me into his office.
"Rich", he said, "I have been here 31 years and
I’ve just heard the craziest story. Immanuel has been running
around the ward telling everyone who will listen that he’s
saved."
I interrupted at that point: "How many
words did it take him to say it?" I was hoping they’d
realise what great success this was.
"And that’s not the worst of it,
Rich", he said, "he’s attributing it to you. Many
people wanted your job, Rich, and I’ll tell you what we’ll do.
If you promise never to do this again - do it after work if you
must - but if from nine till four you leave Jesus out, we’ll
forget this ever happened."
I asked for a day to think and pray about it and
the next day I said, "Howard, I’m going to share with you
what I believe", and I summed up by saying that I must obey
God and could not keep Jesus from my patients. I was fired and
Immanuel left the hospital with me and went to Bible College where
he prepared for missionary work.
I couldn’t believe what had happened.
Psychoanalysis was all I knew; I couldn’t do anything else with
my life. If I went to another hospital or another university the
same thing would happen. I thought everything was over.
Someone suggested that I go to Westminster
Theological Seminary where Dr. Jay E. Adams, the author of a
number of books on counselling was a professor. I spent the next
four years studying at Westminster and working with Dr. Adams at
the Christian Counselling Centre. Through this God led us in a
very unusual way into something I never would have chosen to do or
to be involved in - pastoral ministry. The years have not seen me
smiling and happy all the time. Daily breaking and humbling by God
has been excruciating in some ways. God had called me to preach
his Son and, as Paul of Tarsus put it: "Woe is me if I do not
preach the gospel."
Through my story I have tried to preach the
gospel to you so that you might believe in Jesus the Messiah.