THE RIGHT CHOICE
by Gary Kleppe
The characters of Ranma 1/2 are the creation of and rightful
property of Rumiko Takahashi. They are used here without permission.
This story may be freely redistributed, but it should not be altered
substantially or used for profit in any way.
[Scene: Ranma is walking along the streets of Nerima, looking contented.
A voice comes down, seemingly out of nowhere.]
Voice: Ranma Saotome!
Ranma: [Looks around a bit, then up at voice] Yeah?
Voice: Where are you going?
Ranma: Gonna go see Akane.
Voice: So, you've finally decided, eh?
Ranma: Uh, yeah. I, y'know, love her and so I'm gonna marry her.
Voice: What about Ukyou?
Ranma: Well, she's all right, but I only like her as a friend and stuff.
Voice: Are you sure you're making... the *right choice?*
Ranma: Whattaya mean?
Voice: Have you thought about what your life could be like if you chose
Ukyou?
Ranma: Well, I dunno....
Voice: Watch this!
[Scene dissolves. We see a much older Ranma, his hair mostly gray,
together at a dinner table with Ukyou who still looks as beautiful
as ever. He is happily munching on an okonomiyaki.]
Ranma: Ucchan, it's been a great life. I'm so glad I chose you!
Ukyou: Me too, Ranchan. We've raised four wonderful children, saved
the world from hordes of demonic invaders, taken long walks in the
park...
Ranma: And the sex has been great!
Ukyou: [slightly embarrassed] Right, darling. We've had so many
wonderful years together, filled with joy and happiness...
Ranma: ... and sex...
Ukyou: Right, honey. [laughs]
Ranma: Did I mention the...
[The door crashes open. We see Akane storm in. She has obviously
deteriorated over the years. Her face is distorted, with some hair and a
few teeth gone. Though still muscular, she has gained a bit of weight in
all the worst places. She looks angry.]
Akane: RANMA! How DARE you be happy!
[Akane pulls out an axe and charges forward at Ranma, but she
slips on a banana peel and ends up stabbing herself in the heart.]
Ukyou: Oh NO! Please don't die! Ranchan, help me get her to the
hospital!
Ranma: Too late, she's dead. [strikes dramatic pose] Why, oh why, couldn't
she just accept the inescapable threads of destiny that binds me to
Ukyou?! If she had only accepted Ryouga's love, everything would have been
all right. But no, she had to struggle against what had to be. It was her
tragic flaw.
Ukyou: Her tragic flaw?
Ranma: Well... that and a few other things. But let us not think about
that. Let us simply remember her as having nobly sacrificed her own life
so that the two of us could be together.
Ukyou: Oh, Ranchan!
Ranma: So... what do you wanna do now?
[Return to original scene with normal-aged Ranma]
Voice: Still think you're making the *right choice*?
Ranma: Well, uh... I dunno...
Voice: Then watch this!
[Scene dissolves again. We see a barren landscape strewn with corpses.
Demonic creatures are running around, killing whatever people happen to
be left. A young adult version of Akane stands amidst the chaos,
smiling evilly. Ranma is slumped on the ground next to her, looking
emaciated and completely out of it.]
Akane: NYA HA HA!
[Ukyou runs over to the pair of them.]
Ukyou: NO!! What are you doing to Ranchan?!
Akane: TOO LATE! I've tapped into his ki energy so that I may use
it in my evil plans! Nothing can stop me from taking my ultimate revenge
on anyone who ever insulted me or parked in a space where I wanted to!
Ranma: I had jello today.
Ukyou: Oh Ranchan! What a fool I was to let you marry Akane! I
only wanted you to be happy! Please, you have to reject your foolish,
misguided love for her and fight back!
Ranma: It had little pieces of fruit inside it.
Akane: There's nothing you can do, my dear. My demons will ravage
the world, killing everything that lives! NYA HA HA!!
[A demon slashes its claws into Akane from behind, ripping out
several organs.]
Akane: ... of course, I could've thought this thing through a
little better... [dies]
Ukyou: Oh, Ranchan! And to think you could have prevented all of
this just by choosing me!
Ranma: It was orange flavored.
[Ukyou weeps as she and Ranma are mauled by hordes of demons. The
view pans back as the entire Earth becomes a lifeless wasteland. It then
fades back to the original scene.]
Voice: Still want to marry Akane?
Ranma: No way! I'm making the RIGHT CHOICE!
Voice: Ukyou. The *right choice*. Appearing in fanfictions near
you!
Nabiki: [From out of shot] Cut!
[We pull back to see Nabiki, along with Hiroshi and Daisuke. Hiroshi is
carrying a camcorder. Daisuke has a microphone and has obviously been
doing the voice-overs.]
Nabiki: Thank you, Ranma.
Ranma: Okay, I did your dumb commercial. This means I don't owe you that
money no more, right?
Nabiki: Your debt is... reduced.
Akane: My own sister!
Nabiki: [counting a wad of bills that Ukyou has just handed her]
Sorry sis, but cash is thicker than blood!