CHAPTER 3: The Ceremony
"The Crusher" was a traffic ticket on wheels. That was the nickname Ted
Martin gave to his shiny, red and fully-restored '69 Chevy Camaro. It was
complete with full mag wheels, bucket seats, and some...special modifications.
A suspicious-looking scoop nosed its way out of a hood that covered an
*illegal* engine. The special gearbox, Ted had designed himself, had four
positions plus overdrive and, uh, warp drive. He kept it mostly in a garage
behind his home in a quiet Houston suburb. He seldom took it out.
After installing some new heads, Ted took "The Crusher" out for a test drive
on Old County Line Road. He was in awe at the compression, and was mesmerized
by its feel and handling. Pulling away from a stop sign, Ted was shoved back in
his seat by the acceleration. The smell of burnt rubber and exhaust fumes was
intoxicating, two parallel lines were drawn in the road where the car had once
stood.
The patrolman was posted at a speed trap behind a billboard sign. It had a
worn-out cigarette ad on it. There had been rumors that some of the local kids
brought their street machines here to race. When a red streak went by, the
officer called for back-up. When he read the 3-digit number off the radar gun,
he swore and called for a helicopter. He took off in pursuit, but had already
guessed it was futile.
What used to be Ted Martin never saw a member of Texas' finest in the rear
view mirror. That Ted Martin saw only a flash from the central top of his
windshield as he passed a billboard.
Near the end of Old County Line Road was an oil refinery. Despite the drying
up of most Texas oil wells, business was booming. Several huge tanks were
brimming with processed gasoline, jet fuel and diesel fuels. A tanker truck was
just loading up when a car crashed through the front gates. The truck driver
said a prayer when he saw the car coming straight for him, head-on. He never
got to say 'Amen`.
*****
When Shampoo woke up in the hospital, she felt like she had been hit by a
car. She gave a soft groan. Twin tubes blew gas up her nose. An IV bottle
dripped clear liquid into her arm, a hand held the other one. She looked
over and saw it was Mousse. He was asleep in a chair, and he looked so
peaceful. Her first reaction was to remove her hand, but she was cold and his
was so warm. She looked up.
What had happened? she wondered. What had gone wrong? She should have
caught her quarry by surprise and dispatched her quickly. Somehow, her foe had
been ready, but how? She had been so quiet. After all, she had been
trained in these stealth techniques since she was a child. It should have been
so easy.
She looked back at Mousse. His glasses were on his head. She remembered
having to protect him when they were children from the teasing of others
because of his vision problems. Out of anyone she knew, he had followed her
for over a decade and across China and Japan, just to be with her. She had
mostly spurned his advances. She found herself for a moment admiring his
chiseled features and his long, raven black hair. She tried to shake it off,
but couldn't move that readily.
*****
Ranma was brought wide awake by an overly aggressive Genma. "On your feet,
boy!" He was thrown out of the dojo. Though he began to block with his ki
field, he found his feet a little too late before he was introduced to the koi
pond. A soaking wet *male* Ranma rose out of the water. Genma stepped back
incredulously. "H-how...?" The normally stoic Nabiki dropped her abacus, mouth
open. Everyone else had been inside.
"It's a long story, Pops. I need a bath." Ranma walked by a wide-eyed
Genma, whistling.
A dripping Ranma walked up to the bath house and found it 'occupied`. He
started to wait by a wall when the door opened, it was Akane and she was
carrying her towel and things. Upon seeing Ranma, she immediately went into her
high-nose routine. Ranma was unruffled. On her way past him, her comb started
to drop. Ranma kicked it up with his foot, caught it and gave it back to Akane.
No words were exchanged and Akane continued on her way studying the
stratosphere. Ranma proceeded on his way into the bath house. After taking a
few more steps, Akane stopped suddenly and went wide-eyed. The comb Ranma had
given her had been wet from his touch -- *cold* wet, and he was a *he*.
*****
Ranma again walked the fence, as was his usual, on his way to school.
Following behind him a little ways on the sidewalk was Akane. They still were
not speaking to each other, but Ranma noticed that something was different.
Akane had stopped giving him the high and mighty attitude of last night and
started giving him curious glances instead.
When Ranma reached the road that lead to Ucchan's, he dropped down and walked
in that direction. Akane stopped and stared sadly after him until he had turned
a corner, then proceeded on to school. She was deep in thought.
Ranma arrived at Ucchan's and could see for the first time the resulting
damage from last night in broad daylight. He was still amazed. It had taken
Ranma a year to develop the Mouko Takabisha technique. It originally had come
about when he couldn't master Ryouga's Shi Shi Hokodan. It was his own and
tailored after his own style and confidence. Though not as powerful as
Ryouga's, it had served him well through many a fight. Now Ukyou had mastered
it overnight, and she had done it using his own memories and experiences.
Ranma gave his head one last shake and knocked on the door. When Ukyou
answered the door, she didn't have her uniform on.
"Ohayo, Uc-chan. Aren't you coming?" He gave her a peck.
"No, Ran-chan. I have to get that window fixed, remember?"
"Uh, yeah. How could I forget?" Hitting his head with his palm.
"And besides," Ukyou lowered her head, "I have to begin the preparations for
the funeral."
"Yeah. I know what you mean," he said solemnly. "Listen, i-if you need any
help..." he trailed off.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll let you know," Ukyou replied thankful.
They stood together in silence. "I'll be opening the restaurant again today.
At least that wasn't damaged." She paused in reflection. "I think I have to
keep myself busy to keep my mind off...things."
"Well, I'll try to take good notes for you while I'm in school," Ranma added,
since he and Ukyou shared a lot of the same morning classes.
Ukyou was in shock. "You? Take notes? What *is* this world coming to."
"Hey! I have to take care of my best girl, don't I? You ought to know that."
Ukyou continued her stunned expression, then lightened. "Just make sure you
don't fall asleep when you do it."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." They hugged before he took off for school.
*****
Akane didn't know the person who sat next to her in class: he was attentive,
he took notes, asked and answered questions and, surprisingly, he didn't sleep.
His teachers noticed that, too. This was not the same Ranma she knew, the one
she was, or were until recently, engaged to. This Ranma was different. She had
heard some of the other students notice, also.
"Hey, Hiroshi! What's up with Ranma?" whispered Daisuke.
"Gee, I-I don't know!" said Hiroshi stunned.
She looked over and curiously noted that Ukyou was absent. Her eyes
narrowed, I bet she has something to do with this. She looked back at Ranma
taking notes off the board. What did she do to him? I know Shampoo and
Kodachi try to use potions and magic all the time, but I didn't think Ukyou
did, she suspected.
Akane thought back to that morning. Ranma was wet, *cold* wet, and he hadn't
changed to a girl. Her eyes grew large. What about Ranma's curse? Has Ukyou
found a source of Nanniichuan? That would explain why he could dump me
so easily, he must be grateful to her.
*****
Akane caught up with Nabiki at lunchtime. She was staring off at Ranma who
was eating lunch under a tree. She seemed to be studying him intently.
"Nabiki?" said Akane.
The normally unshakeable Nabiki gave a start. "WHAT?! What?" She quickly
looked around to see if anyone saw her jerk, she didn't want anyone to see her
lose her 'Miss Cool` image. After all, she needed to keep the plebes in line.
Akane looked around to make sure no one was listening. "I think something is
wrong with Ranma, and...I think Ukyou has something to do with it," she
whispered.
Nabiki stopped to consider this. "You know, I think your right. This
morning Genma threw Ranma into the koi pond, and...and he didn't change."
Nabiki gave an evil smile while tapping her chin. "I think I need to do
some investigating."
*****
Nabiki made a few phone calls. Her sources told her that Ukyou needed to
hire a construction crew to fix the frame and windows of Ucchan's. The
construction foreman owed her a favor and she went to collect. While he was
fixing the window she had him install bugs -- listening devices in certain key
locations around the restaurant. She waited.
*****
"{Ran-chan?}" Ukyou called.
"{I'm here, my love.}" Ranma was still at school.
"{I'm going to introduce my new recipe today. If you get a chance,
stop by and try it.}"
"{I can hardly wait.}" replied Ranma, he was getting curious looks from the
other students watching him salivate.
"{Take care!}" Ukyou said.
"{Love you, bye!}" responded Ranma.
Ukyou started to warm up her grill. As she waited for it to get hot, she
noticed one of the workers who was fixing her window doing something with the
counter. She grew curious, but was interrupted by a phone call.
The remains of her father had been recovered and they were asking what she
wanted done. She made arrangements to have the body laid to rest next to her
mother in Kyoto. She would travel the next day to attend the rites.
When she hung up the phone, fresh tears emerged. The tears were short-lived
when she had to attend the business of opening the restaurant. She brightened a
little when she thought of her new recipe. Just then, the phone rang, it was
Konatsu. When she was finished, she remembered that she had better make
reservations and have flowers sent.
"{Ran-chan? Are you there?}" Ukyou asked.
"{Yes, I'm here. I've been keeping good notes. You shouldn't have any
trouble getting caught up.}"
"{Thanks, Ran-chan.}" Ukyou turned somber. "{They have my father ready for
burial. The funeral is tomorrow in Kyoto. I'll bury him next to my mother. He
would have wanted it that way. Do you think you can come?}"
"{If you want me there, I'll be there,}" said Ranma.
"{Yes. Yes, I think I am going to need you there. I don't think I could do
this, and face it alone. I'll make reservations for two on tomorrow's flight.
Okay?}"
"{Thanks, Uc-chan. I was beginning to wonder how I was going to get there.
It would be tough to get a loan out of Nabiki right now.}"
"{Hey! Us *Saotome's* have to stick together, right?}" Ukyou
brightened.
"{Yeah, your right!} then he added, "{I still have my tux from the wedding.
Would it be okay if I wore that?}"
"{Well, at least you'll get some use out of the thing. Oops! That reminds
me. I need to get a dress for the funeral. Sorry, gotta go!}"
Ukyou then dialed JAL ticketing, Shinobu's Flowers in Kyoto and made
arrangements for a dress.
*****
Ranma headed directly to Ucchan's after school. Despite not being engaged to
her, he had just helped Akane put down some of the advances of Kunou, by
stepping on his head. But before she left, he had told Akane he would be eating
at Ucchan's instead of home. She only shook her head and walked away. Ranma
just shrugged and went on. He was in a hurry to try Ukyou's new recipe; he was
in a hurry to see her. Tori piped in.
"{Ranma, can I ask you a question?}"
"{I thought you knew all the answers.}"
"{True, true. Just bear with me, okay?}" responded Tori.
"{Okay.}" Ranma shrugged.
"{What did you learn today?}" asked Tori.
"{Huh?}" inquired Ranma, then he listed it, "{Well, let's see...I learned how
to bisect a triangle, learned about Genghis Khan, about metabolism...}"
"{No. What I mean is, what did you learn about *life* in general?}"
"{Huh?!}" Ranma stopped walking.
"{Look at what's in your hand, tell me what you see?}" asked Tori.
Ranma pulled up the pages and gave them a brief glance. "{They are Ukyou's
notes.}" He seemed perplexed.
"{Yes, but who took them for her?}"
"{Well, I did.}" Ranma said matter-of-factly.
"{Why?}"
"{'Cause...'cause she needed them. So she doesn't fall behind.}" Ranma
seemed exasperated.
"{Have you ever done this for Akane?}" Tori asked.
Ranma tilted his head. "{No. No I never did.}" Then, something was slowly
dawning on him.
Tori drove his point home, "{Some of your actions are because some of Ukyou's
personality is in you, but now it is much more than that. Your starting to act
with a little more maturity now, aren't you Ranma? Before, when you thought
only for yourself, you slept in class and weren't very attentive. Now, you not
only are thinking of yourself, your thinking about Ukyou and her cares and
needs, too. I'm proud of you, Ranma.}" Ranma thought about that, and smiled.
He continued on his way with a spring in his step.
*****
"Ukyou! Aren't you adding too much sesame oil to that?" Ranma pointed to the
okonomiyaki batter Ukyou was mixing. The restaurant was already closed save for
these two.
Ukyou, who had been lost in thought about her father, placed her hands on her
hips. "Ran-chan, what would you know...Oh! That's right." A hand came to her
mouth as she suddenly remembered that just as she had some of Ranma's memories,
he had some of hers -- including how to make okonomiyakis. "Sorry, Ran-chan.
You're right. I must have been distracted." Then a thought occurred to her.
"Come here." Ukyou beckoned with a flexing index finger.
Ranma was hesitant and pointed to his chest. "Me? Why? What are you going
to do?"
"Just come here. Right here next to the grill." Ranma come around the
counter and had a suspicion of what this was leading to. Ukyou stepped
away from the grill and folded her arms. "Now. You're going to cook me an
okonomiyaki."
Ranma started to smile. "A special or a deluxe?" he asked.
Ukyou place a finger to her mouth and thought. "Let's make it...a special."
"Okay!" said Ranma, "But only on the condition that I help you eat it. Deal?"
"Deal!" she said smiling, putting her hands behind her back.
Ranma quickly put in the rest of the ingredients Ukyou had started into the
batter mix and stirred. When he was finished with the batter, he set about
making her secret sauce for the special. Ukyou was impressed at Ranma's cooking
skills and recognized some of her own techniques being copied. In no time,
Ranma grilled up a special with the sauce and toppings in perfect order.
"Now for the fun part," said Ranma popping the freshly cooked okonomiyaki
onto a plate. "We get to eat it."
Ukyou took the okonomiyaki and cut it into smaller pieces, placing the
finished product on a table. When they both were seated, she took the first
piece and popped in her mouth. "Mmmmm...I'd say you got it right on the first
try, this is very tasty," she said savoring the taste.
In short order, Ukyou and Ranma began devouring the okonomiyaki until there
was only one piece left. Ranma decided to turn the last piece into a game.
"When I say 'GO`, you try to get the last piece before I do. Okay?"
"Alright!" she brightened. She remembered all those times back when they
were children when they used to fight over okonomiyaki. Back then, Ranma was
always stealing her's away. She was bound and determined not to let him win so
easily this time.
"Re-e-eady...Go!" said Ranma. It totally surprised him when his chopsticks
came away empty. He should have had plenty of practice fighting Genma over
food.
Ukyou was glorying in her triumph, and waved the last piece in front of
Ranma. "Ha! Ha! HA!" She was about to place the last morsel into her
mouth when Ranma adopted a new strategy, a lost puppy-dog expression.
"HA! That's not going to work." Ukyou was pulling the okonomiyaki closer to
her mouth when his expression started to tug at her heart. Her triumphal
expression was slowly replaced with that of pity. She started to slowly
move it over to his mouth instead. When Ranma opened his mouth, Ukyou
suddenly reversed course and the tiny morsel disappeared. "See? I told you it
wasn't going to work." The chopsticks Ranma held snapped.
*****
Jim Alvarez was a dirt farmer. He had worked all his life trying to scrape a
living out of a small, dry patch of earth nestled in central Nevada. Every
morning he rose up way before the sun ever did.
After killing his alarm clock, he stumbled into bathroom for a quick shower
and shave. Holding up his electric razor, he tried to clear the stubble from
his face. He stood before a mirror. Behind him on the ceiling was a sun lamp
set above a cot that he had installed so his daughter could sunbathe during the
winter months. By accident, it had been left partially on. A flash from the
lamp caught his eye. He turned and stared at the sunlamp, it was now full on.
He continued his stare.
*****
A train whistle sounded in the distance. It was still dark. The lead train
consisted of an engine and a security car. They were in charge of clearing the
tracks. Overhead flew a helicopter. Two miles behind was another train. It,
too, had an engine and a security car, it also had five cars of radioactive
waste bound for a disposal site in northern Nevada.
The lead train crested a hill where several farms, mostly abandoned,
paralleled the tracks. The lead train continued down the tracks, the
train's personnel and accompanying helicopter hadn't spotted a thing.
When the train passed, a lone man came out from behind a tree and walked up
to the tracks. He stood in the middle of the tracks and saw a light off in the
distance. Slowly, he started walking toward the light. A train whistle blew.
He moved a little faster. There was a low thrumming sound, as from a diesel.
He started to run. The single light that he saw began to clarify into four
distinct lights, a pair on top and two on the bottom. He ran faster. The earth
started to shake beneath his feet. He ran a little faster. The engineer in the
train saw an object off in the distance, but it was too late to hit the
brakes. The man became a blur.
*****
The governor had called out the National Guard. It had been named the worst
train disaster in history. An area 15 miles in radius had to be cordoned off
and evacuated. The National Transportation Safety Board, the EPA, and the
Atomic Energy Commission all had representatives flown into the area from
Washington, D.C. No one really knew what happened. No one really knew what
blew a hole of about six feet in diameter straight through a solid train
engine, a security car and five thoroughly radioactive freight cars. Some
thought it was a meteor. The locals thought it was aliens from Mars.
*****
Ranma rose up early in the morning before everyone else was up. He had to
pack a few things and catch the early morning flight with Ukyou to Kyoto. He
went to the kitchen and found Kasumi humming away fixing breakfast.
"Ohayo, Kasumi."
"And good morning to you, Ranma-kun. Your up bright and early," Kasumi said
in a cheery voice.
"I have to help out a friend, we're attending a ceremony, so I'll be gone
most of the day."
"Do you want to take some breakfast before you go?" said Kasumi filling up a
bowl of rice.
"Yeah, thanks," replied Ranma. He quickly devoured his meal and left
carrying a backpack and a suitbag. "Bye, Kasumi, I'll probably be back
tonight for dinner."
*****
Nodoka arrived at the Tendou-ke late Sunday morning with a concerned
expression on her face. She wondered what mess Genma and her son had gotten
themselves into this time. She carried with her a long, wrapped object on her
back.
Kasumi answered the door politely. "Auntie Saotome! Please, please come in."
"Kasumi-chan!" Nodoka acknowledged walking in and giving her a hug. She made
a show of looking around. "I'm always impressed at how neat and clean you keep
this place."
"Why thank you, Auntie," Kasumi beamed.
Nodoka then lost her smile. "Now tell me, where's Laurel and Hardy?"
"Excuse me?" asked Kasumi with a lost expression.
"Your father and the freeloader," Nodoka translated grimly.
"Oh. They're in the living room. I-I'll just go get some tea." Kasumi
excused herself quickly.
Genma and Souun were in an animated discussion about the rules of Shogi, when
they fell silent. Nodoka regarded the two. Genma's face was white, they both
were shaking.
"So, where's my son?" asked Nodoka.
Kasumi, who arrived with a perfect tea set, replied, "I think he said he was
helping a friend. He won't be back until around dinner time.
"So!" Nodoka turn back to Genma and Souun, "What gives?" Kasumi handed her a
tea cup, then left to go get some snacks.
Genma spoke up first. "Our *son* doesn't want to marry Akane anymore.
Again. He wants to marry Ukyou Kuonji!"
"The one that blew up the wedding ceremony?!" asked Nodoka incredulously.
"The same," interjected Souun.
Genma then added, "He insists he serious this time."
"Do you think it was just an overblown fight with Akane?"
"She doesn't think so. She insists they were getting along fine, just as
they normally do."
"I see." She started to pace thoughtfully, then asked, "Any potions?
Strange spells? Bizarre Amazon rituals? ...Voodoo?"
"We don't know," said Genma, then he remembered, "Although, there was
something strange that happened yesterday morning. I threw Ranma into the pond
and... he didn't seem to change."
Nodoka and Souun went wide-eyed. "Oh?!"
*****
Nabiki ran home from picking up her recordings from Ucchan's, the workers had
been discreet. She saw Nodoka when she arrived, but dismissed it as just a
social visit. She made her apologies and went to her room claiming she had some
homework left to do. She checked her equipment and listened to the tape
recordings made at Ukyou's restaurant. Most of it was construction sounds and a
few room noises, then she heard a phone ring and Ukyou's voice.
"Moshi Moshi? Ucchan's Okonomiyaki-ya!" said Ukyou in the recording, then
her voice became somber. Nabiki swore and smacked her head, she had forgotten
to have the phone bugged.
"...Oh...Oh, I see...Well, at least I have Ranma here...No, no one else
knows...Yeah...What do you expect?...Yeah...I've already taken care of them...
I said, I've already taken care of them!...Yeah!...We'll put him next to my
mother...In Kyoto...Okay...No, that's fine...We'll be prepared for the ritual
tomorrow...Tomorrow afternoon?...Yeah, that's fine...Yeah, thanks...Thanks,
bye!"
The rest was more room noises and something frying, until the phone rang
again. Ukyou was whispering joyfully, "...Yeah...Yeah, it's a new recipe...
Believe me it's magic...That's right I've created another...No, no one
else knows except my Ranma...It's my secret...It will be a surprise for
everyone...Sorry?...No, I'll be gone tomorrow at the ceremony...No...No,
I don't know when I'll be back...At that time?...No...No, by then it will be
too late...For everyone...Yeah, I'm sure?...Yeah, I'm positive that's what
I want...Okay?...Okay, bye!"
Ukyou then made some phone calls for airline reservations for two to Kyoto
for the next day and for flowers to be sent to a chapel. Then the tape ran
out. Nabiki turned off her machine.
"Hmmm."
*****
Akane arrived home after doing some brief shopping and was surprised to find
her Auntie Saotome.
"Auntie Saotome, I didn't expect you." Nodoka gave her a hug.
"Well, I had some messes to clean up in the area so I decided to drop by.
How are you doing in school?"
"Fine." Akane started thinking about the 'messes` she was in now.
"Good, good. If you don't have any homework to do right away, why don't you
help me in the kitchen. I want to bake some cookies before lunch. Plus, I want
to have a little talk." Akane jumped for joy; everyone else, jumped for the
hills.
When Nodoka and Akane walked into the kitchen, Kasumi was off in a different
area of the kitchen, preparing lunch. Akane and Nodoka did their best to stay
out of her way. Kasumi was whistling a quiet tune while she worked.
"So!" said Nodoka greasing a pan, "I hear my son has decided to dissolve his
engagement with you...Could you pass me the flour?"
Akane looked down depressed -- with her hands on the pepper. "Yes, yes he
told us day before yesterday that he wanted Ukyou."
"I see...No, not that, the flour," said Nodoka. "So, where's my son
now?...No! No! That's the curry powder, that one...Yeah!" Nodoka pointed.
"I don't really know. He left sometime this morning," Akane said finally
handing Nodoka the flour.
"I see. Have you noticed...anything funny about him recently?...Hand me the
sugar will you." Nodoka was measuring out the right amount of flour.
"Yeah. Yes, I have." Akane reached into a cabinet, extracted a box.
"What did you notice?...No! That's rat poison, dear," said Nodoka
frantically.
Akane looked down, gasped and quickly switched boxes. "Oh!...Well, he came
to the bath house yesterday morning and he was wet, and the water was *cold*,
and it didn't seem like he had *changed*," Akane said handing the sugar.
Kasumi continued to work, but had stopped her tune in mid-note.
"Yeah. I got a similar story from my husband. Bring me the water, dear."
Nodoka poured the measuring cup of sugar into a bowl.
Akane picked up a container and was about to pour. "Also, in school, he
was...acting funny."
"Oh? How funny?...No, that's Drano! I need water," Nodoka looked up in
time.
Akane smacked her forehead and reached for the right container. "Well, he
was: more attentive to the classes, he was polite to the teachers, and...and he
didn't sleep," deadpanned Akane handing over the water container.
Nodoka stopped for a moment gazing at Akane surprised, she was considering
this. "Hmmm...I need some baking powder, dear...Please. Please, go on!" Nodoka
said with interest.
Just then Nabiki walked in. "Excuse me, Auntie, I need Akane urgently for a
sec." Akane bowed and excused herself and left with Nabiki whispering.
Nodoka continued the cookie making, and thought. Has my son finally found a
cure for himself? Is he finally a 'man among men` as Genma promised? Even if
he has, why the sudden personality change. Either something has happened to my
son...or this isn't my son.
And what about Akane? By all the Kami, if my son marries her, I sure hope
he can afford take-out.
*****
Nabiki replayed the tape that contained Ukyou's telephone conversations. She
switched off the machine. Akane was shaking in rage and astonishment.
"What do you think?" Nabiki asked finally.
"It sounds like she gave him some type of love potion, maybe in her
okonomiyaki, and they are going to...*elope*."
"All we have is just her side of the telephone conversation, but yeah, I
would have to agree with your assessment," said Nabiki coolly.
Akane got animated. "Nabiki, do you know what this means? This means that
Ranma, *our* Ranma, is going to be married to that...bimbo chef...probably
before he even realizes it and recovers from whatever she's poisoned him
with. We have to stop her." Nabiki shook her head in agreement. "Nabiki!
When was this recorded?"
"It was recorded sometime yesterday."
"Then,...we don't have much time, do we?!" said Akane jumping to her feet.
Before Nabiki could get up to respond, Nodoka entered the room. "I
originally came up here to tell you two that lunch was ready,...but I
don't really think we're going to have time for that...are we?" Nabiki and
Akane looked at each other, then took off following after a running Nodoka.
Genma and Souun were already sitting at the table. Genma looked like he was
ready to devour his plate and was just waiting for the word 'GO`. Nodoka,
followed by the two girls, ran into the room.
"Quick! I have reason to believe Ranma is going to elope, elope with that
Ukyou girl."
"Nonsense," Genma smiled assuredly, "...the boy wouldn't dare."
"Oh my!" It was, of course, Kasumi who had just entered the room and now had
a shocked expression. "When Ranma-kun left this morning, he had a suitbag with
him. He doesn't have any suits, he does have a tuxedo though. And he said that
he was attending a 'ceremony`."
Everyone headed out the door immediately except Genma, who looked longingly
at his lonely plate before he, too, followed. On the way to the train station,
Genma hit a pool left from yesterday's rain. He almost missed the train as it
was pulling out when he had to run into the bathroom to change back, since they
didn't allow animals on the train except in cages.
*****
When Ranma and Ukyou arrived at the chapel, friends and distant relatives,
who had come to pay their respects, were already seated. The casket was up near
the altar with the lid open. A wreath of flowers decorated a tripod off to one
side which had a picture surrounded by ribbons in the center. The picture was a
portrait of the caskets occupant.
Ukyou found it difficult to breathe and stood back a ways from the casket,
not able to view its contents from where she was standing. Ranma, dressed in
his tux from the disastrous wedding, looked sharp and had a flower in
his lapel. He stood at her side with his hands held in front and head down.
Ukyou had acquired a white kimono and would have looked stunning except for her
downcast countenance.
Steeling herself, Ukyou gripped Ranma's arm and slowly they walked up to the
casket. Ukyou was amazed, despite the explosion, her father's face was still
intact. In fact, the embalmers had done an excellent job of reconstruction.
The only thing noticeable was a slight notch in the left shoulder, plus her
father wore white gloves in which the left hand didn't look quite right. But
the face, Ukyou couldn't tear her eyes away from the face.
"Even in death, he looks so handsome," Ukyou said almost to herself. Ukyou
paused for a moment, then added, "Despite all the hell he put me through, I
still can't hate him. I still find that I love him." Ukyou's eyes started to
well up and Ranma pulled her in tight next to him.
Tori spoke up in a solemn tone. "{Only when we stare death in the face, does
the true meaning and value of life become precious to us.}" Both Ranma and
Ukyou nodded, but remained silent.
When she could finally take her eyes off her father, she buried her face in
Ranma's chest and wept, then they seated themselves and waited for the service.
*****
The funeral ceremony was presided over by Father Fujiyama, who Ukyou had
known since childhood. The priest was a bald man and looked more like he would
be at home in a Buddhist monastery. What Ukyou found most appealing about him
was his no nonsense approach, and his natural ability to command respect and
attention.
The funeral ceremony was conducted in short order, amid a few tears and
occasional wailing. Friends and relatives, both known and unknown, rose up to
eulogize and say fond farewells. Soon the ceremony was over and the casket was
draped over in preparation for the funeral procession.
Father Fujiyama spoke, "It is time for the funeral procession where we will
take the body of our dearly departed to his final resting place. This is the
way I wish the procession to proceed: I will lead the way to the burial site.
Next, I want the immediate family, followed by the wreathbearer. The
pallbearers will then pick up the casket and follow us out. Any friends and
relatives who wish to attend the burial ceremony, may then follow behind the
casket. Is that clear?" A few nods and vocalized agreements. "Good. Now we
will start with the immediate family."
Ukyou rose from her seat dragging Ranma with her into the aisle and arm-in-
arm they walked up to the front of the chapel. The father regarded Ranma with
a scowl. "And you are?"
"Ranma Saotome, sir." Ranma spoke through downcast eyes. "A friend of
Ukyou's."
Ukyou spoke up. "Father,...I-I need him with me."
Father Fujiyama looked at Ukyou for few moments and smiled reassuringly.
"Very well, then. He may accompany you."
Just then the doors to the back of the chapel burst open and Nodoka, Genma,
followed by the Tendous, rushed in. Nodoka had her katana drawn. "Stop! Stop,
I protest!"
The controlled anger on Father Fujiyama was openly apparent. He came around
the pulpit and said, "And who might you be?!"
"I am Nodoka Saotome, mother of Ranma Saotome. I will not allow this...this
*ceremony* to proceed any further." said Nodoka with a haughty expression.
Father Fujiyama seemed like he was remembering something. "Saotome...
Saotome...I've heard of that name somewhere...Ah, yes! Aren't you
the same Saotome's that attended that failed marriage ceremony in Tokyo. A
colleague of mine who had presided over it told me all about it." Then
the Father's expression became stern. "Where is your honor, madam? Where
is your shame?"
Nodoka gripped her katana tightly and looked like she was about to use it.
"MY HONOR! M-MY SHAME! My son conducts a *wedding* behind my back and you talk
about honor? HOW *DARE* YOU!"
The Father looked at Nodoka wide-eyed, he looked at Ranma and Ukyou who were
still in front of him but at the ready, and started to howl in laughter to the
amazement of all those present. When he regained control of himself, and wiped
away a tear, he was chuckling. "Wedding ceremony? Ha! This is no wedding,
this is a funeral."
"WHAT?!" Nodoka dropped her katana and the Tendous dropped their jaw. "You-
you mean this is a *funeral*, like in...someone's dead?" For the first time
since arrival, they notice the covered casket behind the priest.
"Yes! This is a funeral for Ukyou's father." said Father Fujiyama indicating
Ukyou and becoming more serious.
Nodoka just had to sit down in disbelief, then turned to her son. "W-why
didn't you tell someone."
Ranma spoke shyly, "Well, except for maybe Kasumi, I-I wasn't exactly on
speaking terms with anybody else...e-especially after that announcement I had
made."
Nodoka became stern. "We will discuss that 'announcement` of yours...*in
detail*...later." Nodoka then turned to Ukyou. "On behalf of my family and the
Tendou family, I wish to give you our sincerest apology for bringing ruin to
this solemn occasion...and our deepest sympathies at your loss."
Ukyou spoke with a vengeful grin. "Apology accepted...*Mother* Saotome."
Nodoka, the priest and quite a few others raised their eyebrows at that, but
Nodoka forced herself to keep silent. Ranma turned and tried to contain
a grin. Genma and the Tendous took their seats. Akane was the last to recover
and take her seat.
"NOW! If we may continue...without any further *interruptions*," Father
Fujiyama emphasized, peering holes through Nodoka who had to finally drop her
gaze, "...the procession will be as follows..."
*****
The funeral procession and burial ceremony went off without a hitch, and
without any further complications. After the ceremony, there were still some
people milling about, including one concerned mother with a katana strapped to
her back.
At first, Nodoka hung back to observe Ranma and Ukyou together, to see if
there was anything...strange. Despite the recorded telephone conversation she
had overheard, she saw nothing in their appearance that would suggest anything
out of the ordinary. Ranma's behavior during the entire service seem to be that
of a concerned friend more than some ravishing lover influenced by a magic
spell or potion. There were a few tender moments she noted, but nothing that
would be considered unseemly outside of a true relationship.
She also observed Ukyou. How dare she consider me her mother-in-law,
thought Nodoka. But then Nodoka thought back to the time she had lost
her own father, and how wonderful it would have been to have someone like Ranma
there to comfort her. She noted how he seemed to show complete understanding
and proved that he really cared for Ukyou.
Upon seeing this care, and for a moment, Nodoka's heart went out to this girl
and thought what a wonderful daughter-in-law she would make. She did seem to be
very bright and very pretty, and had established herself in a successful
business. She shook it off. Promises had already been made to Souun and the
Tendou family, and family honor demanded that those promises be kept. Having
seen enough, Nodoka went up to Ranma, who was talking with Ukyou and the
priest, and tapped him on the shoulder.
"I think it is time we had...our little *talk*." Ukyou and the priest
remained, but kept silent. "Concerning this *newfound* engagement to this girl,
I will not allow you to jeopardize and throw away our family honor. You have
already been promised to one of the Tendou daughters." Ukyou lowered her head.
"What about the honor of Ukyou's family? What about that?" responded Ranma,
hands on hips.
"What about her honor?" Her expression changed to one of urgent concern.
"Are you in trouble?"
Ukyou and Ranma both went wide-eyed and both blushed. "Oh! No! No!
'Nuthin' like that." Ranma quickly countered with waving hands. "I
mean Genma engaged me to Ukyou, also."
"He did?" said Nodoka surprised, then she recovered. "B-but the Tendou
engagement was in place before you were born, so it should have precedent over
any other claim."
"Why?" asked the priest, butting in.
"What do you mean?" Nodoka challenged.
"I've been with the Kuonji family, oh...oh, since before Ukyou here was born.
I know all about their family business...including some things I shouldn't talk
about." Ukyou blushed again. "I also know a little something about this
*engagement business* and how your husband, I believe, promised an engagement,
then left a poor, defensiveless six-year old child by the side of the road and
ran off with her dowry: a yattai, that her family used to conduct their only
livelihood with. I know something about how that same six-year old was forced
to act as a boy by her father the rest of her life, because she had lost that
self-same dowry.
"Now let me ask you about *family honor*. You say that Ranma's engagement to
one of the Tendou daughters has precedent. As I said before I am already aware
of that failed wedding that took place. Akane, I think her name is, still has
her dowry, the Tendou Dojo, it has never been given and still remains. Ukyou's
dowry, however, has already been spent. So now, let me ask you, whose claim
really has precedent?"
Nodoka's eyes were huge. "I...I never knew. Genma never told me about *any*
of this."
Ranma added the final straw, "Oyaji, was always promising me away, for food.
Mostly, for his own fat belly."
Nodoka spun and reached for her katana. "GENMAAA!"
Genma was at the refreshment table. He froze white with solid fear,
especially when the cup he had been holding was sliced clear through by a
katana. It was hot tea.
"You...you BASTARD!" *SLAP* Genma reach up to the red-mark on his face.
"How could you? How could you leave this child behind? How could you steal her
dowry?" Nodoka indicated Ukyou, who had ran up followed by Ranma and the
priest. A crowd was gathering, a safe distance away.
"B-but I asked..." Genma began, before he was slapped with a matching red
mark on the other side of his face.
Nodoka continued, "When we get home, you have some *real* explaining to do.
I'd have you commit seppuku right here on the spot except, Ukyou..." she
indicated Ukyou again, "...needs someone to give the bride away since her
father is now gone, and you..." she poked him in the belly "...are going to
do it. And after her wedding, I may still have you commit seppuku. Do you
understand me?!" Ukyou jumped for joy. Ranma smiled ear-to-ear. Akane, who was
listening nearby, fainted.
"Yes, Nodoka-sama!" Genma said dropping on shaking knees.
*****
Nodoka hugged her future daughter-in-law and said her last farewells, then
left with the Tendous, dragging a still catatonic Genma onto the train back to
Nerima.
After the funeral, Ranma and Ukyou changed out of their clothes. Ranma was
glad to shuck the tuxedo. It was too tight and cumbersome, just like he had
remembered from the wedding. He preferred loose-fitting clothes like his
Chinese shirt and drawstring pants.
They still had some time to kill before their flight back to Tokyo, so they
went and visited their old stomping grounds where they used to run and play as
children over a decade ago. It was Ranma's idea, to help relieve Ukyou from her
depression. They took a casual stroll near a meadow by the stream that was,
with few exceptions, just as they had remembered it. At first, Ukyou was quiet,
still in deep reflection of her father, but Ranma could see that she was
lightening when familiar and happy memories came back.
"Remember this spot?" asked Ranma indicating the stream.
Ukyou peered off in the direction he indicated blank-faced, then grinned in
sudden recognition. "You mean fishing?"
"Yeah, that. I don't think I was ever so thoroughly soaked in my life,"
Ranma laughed, "...and coming from me, that's saying a lot."
"Remember the fish we caught?" asked Ukyou.
"Fish? Mostly, we just caught hell from our parents."
"Yeah, that's true." Ukyou nodded, then looked across the meadow and
brightened. "Do you remember that rock? The rock that I beat you at
when we had that foot race."
"You never beat me." Ranma looked serious.
"What?! Yes I did." Ukyou corrected forcefully, hands on hips.
"No, you didn't! You cheated." Ranma said, daring her to say otherwise.
"I DID NOT!" Ukyou denied vehemently, but was half-smiling.
"Yeah you did! I started right over there," Ranma turned indicating a spot,
"...and you were...HEY!" By the time Ranma had turned back, Ukyou had took off
running for the rock. Ranma gave chase. "Oh no you don't! Not this time."
Ukyou had a clear lead and was giggling, Ranma did his best effort to catch
up. Before they reached the rock, Ranma tackled Ukyou and they both went
tumbling to the ground amid laughter. When they recovered, Ranma was on top.
He quit laughing and looked down at a still chuckling Ukyou in admiration. She
returned his gaze. Ranma took her face in his hands and gave her a lingering
kiss.
"{Excuse me?}" Tori tried to interrupt, but they continued to kiss. "{Uh,
pardon me?}" Again, they continued unabated. "{Uh, Ranma? Ukyou?}"
"{Go away, Tori, can't you see we're busy?}" said Ranma irritated, the nice
thing was that he didn't have to rely on human speech, and could respond
to Tori without breaking...what he was doing.
"{Sorry! I need to remind you two that you have a flight to catch in 45
minutes.}" That had them running for the airport.
*****
After dropping Ukyou off at her restaurant, Ranma came back to the Tendou
home. When he arrived, he found a few changes starting to take place. He and
Genma would be moving out within a week to join Nodoka at her home. Also, there
were already plans in the works for the wedding of Ranma and Ukyou. Both Ranma
and Ukyou, as ecstatic as she was, insisted on waiting at least until they had
graduated high-school first. With great reluctance, Ranma's parents agreed, or
rather Nodoka agreed and Genma agreed with Nodoka.
"Ranma," Nodoka spoke as she found a place to talk next to the koi pond.
"I've agreed to your engagement, because what Genma did to that girl was just
too unforgivable, but there are still some...loose ends. Some things I need to
know."
"Yes, mom." Ranma said, trying to gather thoughts as to how to explain what
he knew was coming. Unnoticed to both, Akane had arrived in the shadows and was
within listening range. She had P-chan with her.
"Genma and others say that they think you are no longer cursed. Why is
that?"
"{Tori? Tori? What can I say to her?}"
"{Try the truth,}" Tori answered.
Ranma went into a brief explanation of the events of three days ago. Nodoka
was too stunned to stop him, until he finished.
"Ranma that is the most incredible story I have ever heard. So, your saying
it's not a love spice or some such thing that caused you to fall in love with
Ukyou, it's these amulets?"
"No Mother, it was not the amulets that made me fall in love with Ukyou. It
was what happened to us in the nexus. Ukyou and I shared something that no one
has ever dreamed possible, our full lives with each other. There are no real
secrets between us, no petty jealousies or suspicions that will ever keep us
apart. She and I are almost the same person now. Everything that I was, is in
her. Everything that she was, is in me. There could never be any other choice
in my life, ever, no matter what engagements were promised." Akane, off in the
shadows, teared up at the beauty of his words. A concerned P-chan nuzzled
against her leg in an effort to comfort her.
"So, you need to find these other amulets?" asked Nodoka.
"Yes." answered Ranma.
"That sounds so dangerous. Haven't you had enough trouble from
these...Amazons?"
"Yes, I have, but..."
*SPLASH*
Before Ranma knew it, he was wet.
"He!...He-he-he!" It was Happousai, who dropped down from the roof and
glomped onto Ranma, a *male* Ranma.
"Huh?!" Happousai dropped back and lifted a slow finger to point at Ranma's
chest. "My lovelies! My darling lovelies! W-where are they? What have you
done with them?" He was trying to feel for... *them* and finally looked up.
"...And to yourself?"
"They're gone for good I'm afraid, Jiji." Ranma said with an evil grin.
Happousai returned a gaze to Ranma's chest and looked like he might cry.
"Pity." Happousai turned and looked like he was going to attack Nodoka next,
but her extended katana convinced him that that wasn't such a good idea. Ranma
then booted him into a lunar trajectory.
*****
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End chapter 3.