CLONE FIGHT NIGHT LIVE!!!!!!!
By Nichelle
Give a Reason (Slayers)
(The Battle Square(expanded and decorated like the Celebrity Deathmatch arena))
BEVERLY:Konnichiwa,minna-san!I'm Beverly Hutchings...
KRISTA:*in Sailor Moon voice*I'm Serena Tsukino...
BEV&ASHLEY:T_T'
KRISTA:*STILL in Sailor Moon voice*What?What did I say?
ASHLEY:And I'm Ashley...uhh...Ashley......say,what is my last name?
BEVERLY:Don't know...We're here with you live at the Gold Saucer's Battle Square,and this is...
ALL THREE:CLONE FIGHT NIGHT LIVE!!!
KRISTA:Where all your fave RPG and anime characters duke it out in action-packed matches!
ASHLEY:Well said,Krista!
KRISTA:SERENA!!!!!!DON'T MAKE ME SPIRAL MOON HEART ATTACK YOU!!!
BEVERLY:Haiiiiiii....ANYWAY!We have 11 great fights lined up for you tonight:First,we have Tifa vs Rinoa,then it's Sailor Moon vs Maika--
KRISTA:That poopy head is goin' down!
ASHLEY:NOT YOU!Then it's a team battle,the Magic Knights vs the Powerpuff Girls,James Bond vs Roger Smith--what the heck?--and Sailor Rainbow vs Sailor Galaxia!
BEVERLY:If Rainbow survives the match,it'll be Rainbow vs Gold,the Battle of the Fanfic Characters!And if Gold survives her match,it's her vs Sailor V,Ash vs Richie--
KRISTA:Without their Pokemon!
BEVERLY:Quiet,you!Anyway,and then we have a four-way fight,Ryu vs Terra vs Vincent vs Rei,in beast form!
ASHLEY:And then yet ANOTHER multi-fighter match,Cloud vs Zack vs Zell,Sephiroth vs Allen,and the main event,the Highwind vs the Outlaw Star!
KRISTA:Let's go to the ring with our referee,Simone...Simone,uh...aw,here's the first match!
(The ring)
SIMONE:WHY do I have to do this?*ahem*In the red corner,from Nibelhiem,Tifaaaaaaaaaaa Lockheaaaaaaaaaaaart!
TIFA:You're goin' down!
SIMONE:And in the blue corner,from Deling City,Rinoaaaaaaaa Heartillyyyyyyyyy!
RINOA:I'll win this one for you,Squall!
SQUALL:*thinking*Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight....
SIMONE:Allright,I want you two to fight fair!Uhh...What was it again?
HOSTESSES:FIGURE IT OUT!!!
LORI BETH DIMBERG:Does it have anything to do with....materia?
SIMONE:Oh,yeah!FIGURE IT OUT!
HOSTESSES:D'oh!
HOMER:D'oh!
SIMONE:Oops,sorry!LET'S GET IT ON!
TIFA:*decks Rinoa in the gut*
RINOA:OUCH!You can't win!FF8 is WAY more popular than FF7!!!
TIFA:*clotheslines Rinoa,then roundhouses her*
RINOA:OWW!!Why you little--
HOMER:D'oh!
RINOA:*throws her shuriken*
(The shuriken goes flying toward Hojo in the back row and decapacitates his head)
HOJO:ACK!*dies*
HOSTESSES:WOOOOOO!!*singing*Joy to the world!Hojo's dead!We'll play soccer with his head!Don't worry about the body!We'll just let it rotty then burn it with a torch!We'll burn it with a torch!We'll buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn it with a torch!*songs done*
RINOA:Now for you!DIAMOND DUST!!*summons Shiva*
MR.FREEZE:'Bout time!
TIFA:**absorbs the ice*sarcastically*Ouch!A whole 2 damage!YOU STINK!
RINOA:DANG!It didn't work!
TIFA:BEAT RUSH!SOMERSAULT!!WATER KICK!!!METEO DRIVE!!!!DOLPHIN BLOW!!!!!METEOR STRIKE!!!!!!FINAL HEAVEN!!!!!!!
RINOA:*badly hurt*How...can this...be?*dies*
TIFA:'Cause you FF8 guys don't have ultimate attacks.
SIMONE:And the winner is Tifa!
(The hosting booth)
BEVERLY:What a great match!
ASHLEY:Yeah,Tifa totally kicked Rinoa's butt!Hey,where's Krista?
BEVERLY:She'll come back.Let's check with our interviewer,Sabrina Freshwater,for some insight on the next match!
(The locker room)
SABRINA:Thanks,Bev.I'm here now with Sail---Krista,what are you doing here?
KRISTA:*in Sailor Moon voice*Yeah!That lousy impersonator is going to feel the wrong end of my sceptor real soon!
SERENA:QUIT IMITATING ME!!!!!!!
KRISTA:Ohmigosh!It's HER!OHMIGOSH!!*faints*
SABRINA:Ooooooooookaaaaaaaay...well,back to you,Bev!
(The booth)
BEVERLY:Krista,that odango-atama'd bakayaru!*clenches her fist*
ASHLEY:*edges away from Bev*Well,the next match is starting!
(The ring)
SIMONE:In the red corner,from Tokyo,Maikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Yuukiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
MAIKA:*as the priestess*I shall not fail...
SIMONE:And in this corner,also from Tokyo,Sere--uh,wait,change that--Sailoooooooooor Moooooooooon!
SAILOR MOON:You're gonna be sorry!
SIMONE:Okay,you two magical girls.I want a fair,clean fight.No magic!
MAIKA&SM:DANG!
SIMONE:Obey my commands at all times.LET'S GET IT ON!
SAILOR MOON:Ditz!*slaps Maika*
MAIKA:Ow!Ditz!*slaps Sailor Moon*
SM:Ouch!*decks her*
MAIKA:Owie!!*clotheslines her*
SM:Aaaaaaah!!!*roundhouses her*
MAIKA:YEOWCH!!!!*piledrives her*
SM:OW!!!!!*roundhouses her,piledrives her,clotheslines her,Golberg Spears her,and kicks her in the shin!O_O*
MAIKA:*bruised all over*Ow.........THAT'S IT!You're going down!
SM:Oh yeah!
MAIKA:Yeah!
SM:Oh yeah!!
MAIKA:Yeah!!
SM:OH YEAH!!!
MAIKA:YEAH!!!
SM:THAT'S IT!!!MOON.....SPIRAL.....HEART.....ATTACK!!!!!!*giant hearts hit Maika hard*
MAIKA:NO!I don't even have a catch phrase!*dies*
SIMONE:HEY!I said no magic!*tosses Maika a Phoenix Down,leaving her with 109 HP left*The winner is left undecided!
MAIKA&SM:HUH?!
(The booth)
KRISTA:What the heck happened,SAILOR MOON SHOULD WIN!!!!!*does the Cloud Strife Freakout*
BEVERLY:Yeesh,Krista!Get over it!At least it was a great match!
ASHLEY:YEAH!Didja see Sailor Moon's combo?SWEEEEET!!!!
KRISTA:*stops wailing*Yeah,it WAS pretty awesome.
BEVERLY:Hai,minna-chan.Now let's go to Sabrina in the locker room!
(The locker room)
SABRINA:I'm here with the Magic Knights for insight on the next match.So,are you guys confident?
UMI:Yeah,very.Those pumpkin heads are gonna wish they were never created!
HIKARU:With our magic,we can't lose!
SABRINA:But what if magic is not allowed?
FUU:Well,according to strategic planning,we will surround the arena and ensue physical combat against our counterparts.
SABRINA:..................What did she say?
HIKARU:......................Oh,look at the time,our match is starting!
(They run off)
SABRINA:Ooooooookaaaaaaaaay,back to you,Bev.
(The booth)
BEVERLY:What did Fuu say?
ASHLEY:Don't know.
KRISTA:*a little too enthusiastically*On to the ring!
(The ring)
SIMONE:In Side 1,from Tokyo,the Magiiiiiiiiic Kniiiiiiiights!
MK:*waves to the crowd*
CROWD:*goes wild*
SIMONE:And in Side 2,from Townsville,the Powerpuuuuuuuuuff Giiiiiiiiiirls!
PPG:*waves to the crowd*
CROWD:AWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
SIMONE:Obey my commands at all times.Powers are allowed.
MK&PPG:YESSSSSSSSS!!!
SIMONE:LET'S GET IT ON!
BEVERLY:I have full confidence in you,Powerpuffs!*runs to the betting booth and shoves all her gil at the person*Put it all on the Magic Knights!
HIKARU:Okay,Umi,you take on Bubbles,Fuu,you fight Buttercup,and I'll handle Blossom.
FUU&UMI:Right!*goes to their PPG*
(At Fuu's fight)
BUTTERCUP:*throwing effective punches*You wuss!How dare you have MY color!*uses the eye laser-thing*
FUU:WINDS OF PROTECTION!*lasers bounce off her and they scorch Buttercup*
BUTTERCUP:YEOOOWWWCH!!THAT DOES IT!*flies at Fuu at top speed*
FUU:*whips out her big ol' sword*
BUTTERCUP:*gets impaled on the sword and dies*
SIMONE:And Buttercup is out!
(At Umi's fight)
UMI:*roundhousing Bubbles*
BUBBLES:OW!Leave me alone!
UMI:*STILL beating Bubbles*Whazamatter?Can't fight?!YOU GIVE THE COLOR BLUE A BAD NAME!*powers up*
BUBBLES:Uh-oh....
UMI:UH-OH IS RIGHT!SAPPHIRE WHIRLWIND!!!*BIG whirpool hits Bubbles*
BUBBLES:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!*dies*
SIMONE:And Bubbles bites the big one!
(At Hikaru's fight)
BLOSSOM:*fires a fire beam at Hikaru*
HIKARU:*gets healed*You bakayaru!My ELEMENT is fire!FLAME ARROW!!YAH!!!*hurls a big flaming arrow at Blossom*
BLOSSOM:Ugh!Professor...we failed you...*dies*
SIMONE:And the winners are...the Magic Knights!
MK:YEAHHHHHH!!!
(The booth)
BEVERLY:WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!
KRISTA:Awesome match,huh?
ASHLEY:Yeah!And now,on to the next fight!
(The ring)
SIMONE:In the red corner,agent 007,from London,Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaames Boooooooooooond!
BOND:I'll win this one.
SIMONE:And in the blue corner,from Paradine City,Rogeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer Smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith!
SMITH:Let's get this over with.
SIMONE:Okay,let's do this fairly.No vehicles.
SMITH:*puts away his Big O watch*
SIMONE:LET'S GET IT ON!
SMITH:*decks Bond in the face*
BOND:*sweeps under Smith's leg*
SMITH:*puts his hands out to keep from falling*
BOND:*opens fire on Smith*
SMITH:*is in a lot of pain*AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
BOND:Now to finish you off.*shoots the gun one last time*
SMITH:AAAAAAAAH!!!*hits the floor*Dorothy......*dies*
BOND:All too easy...
SIMONE:The winner...James Bond!
(The booth)
BEVERLY:DANG!That match was too short!
ASHLEY:Spies!I swear!
KRISTA:Let's hope the next match is twice as action-packed!
ASHLEY:Speaking of,let's go to Sabrina!
(The locker room)
SABRINA:I'm here with Sailor Rainbow.So tell me,how do you feel challenging your own inspiration?
RAINBOW:Although Galaxia's power is far inferior to mine,I feel quite uncomforable.
(Galaxia comes bursting in)
GALAXIA:You should be uncomfortable,you little wench!
RAINBOW:Excuse me?Wench?! Look whose talking,you bakayaru!I am superior to you!
GALAXIA: Bakayaru?! Oh,you die!
SABRINA:AAAAAAAAAH!BACK TO YOU,ASHLEY!QUICK!
(The booth)
ASHLEY:Uhhhhhhhhh.....
BEVERLY:Well,looks like the Sailors are all riled up now!
KRISTA:*has had too much candy and is dancing like Kitty-N to "Yankee Doodle"*Me Shailors Mud,dee gamudder o' jushteesh!
ASHLEY:Just goes to show you what too much sugar can do to you.
BEVERLY:Haiiiiiiiii...On to the next match!
(The ring)
SIMONE:In the red corner,from the Moon Kingdo and the mind of the author--
BEVERLY:Dang straight!
SIMONE:Sailoooooooooor Rainbooooooooooooow!
RAINBOW:I shall be victorious.
CROWD:*stomping their feet,clapping their hands, and shouting Rainbow's real name to her theme(which is Cid's)*SHINZUI!SHINZUI!
CID:*in the back of the audiance*Grrrr...WHY did she take my kick-butt theme?!
BEVERLY:'CAUSE I COULD!!
SIMONE:And in the blue corner,from somewhere in the universe,Sailooooooooor Galaxiaaaaaaaaa!
(At Galaxia's side of the arena,it's quiet.Too quiet...)
GALAXIA:HEY!Where's my crowd?!
FAT GUY:*the only person there*Hey,my ticket doesn't have this seat!*gets up and leaves*
GALAXIA:Grrrrrrrrrr...!!!
SIMONE:Okay,you two power-lords.I want a fair match,but with you two fighting,it's probably not gonna happen!LET'S GET IT ON!I'm getting outta here!*runs like mad*
AUTHOR'S NOTE:I have never seen the Sailor Stars,so I'm gonna make up Galaxia's power.
GALAXIA:SPIRIT ARROW!*fires a beam at Rainbow*
RAINBOW:*draws the Prism Blade and reflects the beam*
GALAXIA:*gets hit by the reflected attack*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!WHY YOU LITTLE!!!
HOMER:D'oh!
GALAXIA:ULTIMA RAY!*a HUGE energy beam is fired at Rainbow*
RAINBOW:*thrusts her hand out and absorbs the energy*Is that all you've got?RAINBOW FLAME!
GALAXIA:*gets hit by a multi-colored inferno*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!
RAINBOW:Now to finish you once and for all!*eyes turn pink*RAINBOW SLASH!*slashes poor Galaxia 40 times and throws her in the air and jumps up and slices Galaxia in two*
(Pieces of Galaxia land all over the audiance)
CROWD:*pukes all over Hojo's body*
CID:*drinking tea and waving a confederate flag*Yeah!As good as the Dukes!
RAINBOW:Rest in pieces!
SIMONE:*holding an umbrella*Um....the winner,of course,is Sailor Rainbow!
(The booth)
ASHLEY:*staring in utter amazement*That was disgusting!
KRISTA:*ditto*Cool!
BEVERLY:*grinning*That's my Rainbow!And now she'll have to take on Gold!
KRISTA:Who will win the title of "Bev's Coolest Fanfic Character"?
ASHLEY:Let's get some insight from our interviewer!
(The locker room)
SABRINA:Okay,I'm here with Bev's new creation,Gold!So,are you excited about this match?
GOLD:Yep!That Galaxia wannabe's goin' down!And after her,I'll destroy Sephiroth after his fight!I WILL BE THE FAVORITE!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
SABRINA:Uhhhhhhhh.....And back to you,Beverly!
(The booth)
BEVERLY:This is gonna be some fight,huh?
ASHLEY:Yup,I'm puttin' my money on Sailor Rainbow!
BEVERLY:*grins evilly*Well then,let's go down to the arena!
(The ring)
SIMONE:In the red corner,Sailooooooooooooor Rainboooooooooooooooow!
RAINBOW:*eyes turn red*She's gonna pay!
CROWD:*cheers loudly*
SIMONE:And in the blue corner,from Cosmo Canyon--
BEVERLY:AND my mind!
SIMONE:--Gooooooooooold!
OLD MINER:WHERE?!
GOLD:HEY!I'm from Nibelhiem!
SIMONE:Okay,you know the rules.I want a fair,clean fight.LET'S GET IT ON!
GOLD:After his fight,I got BIG plans for your boyfriend!
RAINBOW:*eyes turn deep red*YOU LEAVE MY SEPHY OUT OF THIS!!!!!
SEPHIROTH:*in the middle of the audiance*Yeah!Leave me out of this,dipstick!
ALLEN:Shut up and watch the fight.
RAINBOW:RAINBOW SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOLD:*DRIPPING with sarcasm as she dodges every slash*Oh,ouch.You're killing me.
RAINBOW:*eyes turn crimson*WHY YOU LITTLE--!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOMER:D'oh!
GOLD:You see,I was prepared for this match.
RAINBOW:Oh?How so?
GOLD:MY LIMIT GAUGE WAS ALREADY FULL!!!HEART BARRAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!*fires hundreds of little,sharp,firey hearts*
RAINBOW:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
GOLD:*keeps firing*HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
RAINBOW:*falls into kabajazillionmilliontrillionbillion microscopic pieces!O_O*
CID:*same as before*I take that back...This is BETTER THAN the Dukes!!
SIMONE:*still holding umbrella*Ugh....And "Bev's Coolest Fanfic Characer" is Gold!
OLD MINER:WHERE?!
(The booth)
ASHLEY:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!I BET ALL MY GIL ON RAINBOW!!!!*does the Cloud Stife Freakout*
BEVERLY:YIKES!That was a cool Limit Break!I mean,I know I'm good,but DANG!
KRISTA:Good?HA!It was practically a rip-off of the Venus Love and Beauty Shock!
BEVERLY:So I couldn't be more original!Big deal!
ASHLEY:On to the next match!
(The ring)
SIMONE:In the red corner,Min--uh,wait,change that--Sailoooooooooooor Venuuuuuuuuuuuus!
CROWD(especially the guys):*goes wild*
SAILOR VENUS:*waving and blowing kisses at the audiance*
SIMONE:What a ham.And in the blue corner,Goooooooooooooooooold!
OLD MINER:WHERE?!
CROWD:*goes EVEN WILDER*
GOLD:C'mon,let's go already!
SIMONE:Keep your shorts on!You know the rules.LET'S TANGO!
SV:Okay!*starts dancing with Gold*
SIMONE:NOT LITERALLY!
SV&GOLD:Oh.*breaks up*
SV:*does stupid karate poses*
GOLD:*draws her dagger*
SIMONE:Uh,this is a deathmatch,not an art match!
GOLD:Oh,sorry.*puts the sketch pad away and takes out her dagger*
SV:Cool weapon!Can I see it?
GOLD:Sure.*hands it to her*
SV:*drops it and breaks it*
GOLD:That's okay.I can fix it.*fixes it*
SV:*drops it*
GOLD:Cut it out!*fixes it*
SV:*drops it*
GOLD:Cut it out!*fixes it*
SV:*drops it*
GOLD:Cut it out!*fixes it*
SV:*drops it*
GOLD:Cut it out!*fixes it*
SV:*drops it*
GOLD:Cut it out!*fixes it*
SV:*drops it*
GOLD:Cut it out!*fixes it*
SV:*drops it*
GOLD:Cut it out!*fixes it*
SV:*drops it*
GOLD:DUDE!!!!I SAID CUT IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!HEART BARRAGE!!!!!!!
SV:ACK!!!Beaten by a copy of my own attack!*dies*
SIMONE:*still holding umbrella*Not again!And the winner is Gold!*thinks about the match and bursts out laughing*
(The booth)
BEVERLY:*between laughs*That was---the funniest--match I--ever saw!!!
KRISTA:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!That Sailor Venus is nuttier than Sailor Moon!
SM:*from the medical ward*I HEARD THAT!!!!!
ASHLEY:*finally stops laughing*Let's go to Sabrina!
(The locker room)
SABRINA:Sabrina Freshwater here with Ash Ketchum!
ASH:I USED to be Richie's friend,until he went to Gary's birthday party and imitated me!
SABRINA:Let's review that incident!
(Clip)
GARY:Heh-heh.Your turn,Richie!
RICHIE:Okay!*in a stupid,raspy voice*Me Ash Ketchup,an' I wit' thtupid!Me a idiot!
(Ash bursts in)
ASH:HEY!!!!I thought you were my pal!!!!!
RICHIE:Whata moron!Thinkin' I was his pal!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
ASH:THAT'S IT!!!!!!I'LL SEE YOU IN THE RING!!!!!!!!!*storms out*
(Clip's over)
SABRINA:Wow.And you two won't go easy on each other,right?
ASH:DANG STRAIGHT!!!!!
SABRINA:Back to you,Ashley!
(The booth)
BEVERLY:Looks like the match is starting!
ASHLEY:WIN FOR ME,ASH!!!
KRISTA:Ummmmm....
(The ring)
SIMONE:In the red corner,from Pallet Town,Aaaaaaaaaaash Ketchuuuuuuuuuum!
ASH:*adjusts his cap*
SIMONE:And in the blue corner,from unknown,Richiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!
RICHIE:*twists his cap around*
SIMONE:Okay,I want a fair,clean fight.No Pokemon!
ASH&RICHIE:WHAT?!THIS ISN'T A POKEMON MATCH?!
SIMONE:Uh,NO!You have to fight EACH OTHER!
ASH&RICHIE:DANG!*give their Pokeballs to her*
SIMONE:LET'S GET IT ON!!!
ASH&RICHIE:*start fighting like Springer guests*
ASH:AAAH!!THAT'S IT!!!*knees Richie--hard*
ALL MEN:*cringe*
RICHIE:*in a REALLY high-pitched voice*AAAAAAAH!!My Pokeballs!!
ASH:*does the Sailor Moon Combo*
BEVERLY:Looks like Sailor Moon invented a new wrestling move!
KRISTA:OH,YEAH!!!!!!
RICHIE:OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
ASH:Anyone here got a chainsaw?
VINCENT:I do!*turns into Jason and gives his chainsaw to Ash*
ASH:Uhh,thanks!*revs it up and starts slicing Richie to bits!*DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!*keeps going while laughing*
AUTHOR'S NOTE:Ooooooookaaaaaaaaaaay,Ash has obviously gone completely nuts..........
RICHIE:AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!*dies*
ASH:*to Vince--err,Jason*Here's your chainsaw back!
VINCENT:*reverts*Keep it.Consider it as a souvenier.
ASH:Thanks!
SIMONE:*STILL holding umbrella*Ewww....And the winner is Ash!
(The booth)
BEVERLY:Well,what have we learned?
ASHLEY:That Vincent has a soft spot for kids?
KRISTA:That Ash is a total maniac?
BEVERLY:Nope.
ASHLEY&KRISTA:What then?!
BEVERLY:That totally ruled!!!
ALL THREE:*laugh maniacly*
ASHLEY:On to our next exciting match!
(The ring)
SIMONE:In Corner 1,from Breath of Fire 3,Ryuuuuuuuu!
RYU:...............
SIMONE:And he's speechless,just like all the other Ryus.
RYUS1&2:......(Translation:"HEY!!!")
SIMONE:In Corner 2,also from Breath of Fire 3,Reiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
REI:*scratches his head*Well don't this just beat all!
SIMONE:In Corner 3,from Final Fantasy 7,Vinceeeeeeeent Valentiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!
VINCENT:I shall win for Lucrecia...
SIMONE:And in Corner 4,from Final Fantasy 6,Terraaaaaaaaaa Branfooooooooooord!
TERRA:I'll win for sure!
SIMONE:Allright,I want a fair match!You are to remain in beast form at all times unless killed!LET'S GET IT ON!
TERRA:*turns into Esper*
REI:*turns into Weretiger*
RYU:*uses Infinity Gene,Radiance Gene,and Trance Gene to turn into Kaiser*
VINCENT:*turns into Chaos*
ALL FOUR:*start circling around,watching each other*
SIMONE:HOLD IT!!!!Which one of you is Vincent?
CHAOS:*raises his hand*
SIMONE:*stamps a V on his forehead*And Ryu?
KAISER:*raises his hand*
SIMONE:*stamps an R on his forehead*And Terra is right here.*stamps a T on Esper's forehead*Okay!
ESPER:*punches Weretiger*
WERETIGER:*punches Kaiser*
KAISER:*punches Chaos*
CHAOS:*punches Esper*
AUTHOR'S NOTE:All that happened at once,folks.
ESPER:*claws Chaos and bites his arm*
CHAOS:*casts Skull Slam on her and Weretiger and Kaiser*
WERETIGER:OWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!*summons a meteor on them*
KAISER:RAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!*a HUGE blast is fired from his body*
CHAOS&ESPER:*get blown away*
WERETIGER:OWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!*lunges at Kaiser*
KAISER:*dodges and slashes Weretiger in the back*
WERETIGER:RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KAISER:*gets ready to fire but stops*
WERETIGER:*looks at Kaiser pitifuly*
KAISER:.......................................Rei................
EVERYONE:WHA---?!
BEVERLY:It talked?!
WERETIGER:*keeps looking at Kaiser,expecting his demise*
KAISER:..............No..............I......ca--can't..............What............a-am......I.........do---ing?..........*reverts*
RYU:I.......can---not......do.........it....
EVERYONE:WHAT THE---?!
WERETIGER:*reverts*
REI:Ryu,what are you doing?Kill me already!
RYU:..............R-Rei.............I................do--n't...............want..............to...............fight........you.........
REI:*scratches his head*Well don't this just beat all!
SIMONE:What are you two doing?Fight already!!!
BEVERLY:Once again the winner is undecided!!
SIMONE:WHAT?!
BEVERLY:You want this match to take forever?
SIMONE:No.....
ASHLEY:Allright,then!
KRISTA:Well,clear the ring 'cause our next match is on the way!
SIMONE:In Corner 1,from Nibelhiem,Clouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud Striiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!
CLOUD:Let's mosey!
CID:Dang!Again?Stop saying it like a wimp!Can't you say "I'm gonna kick your sorry butts in 5 secs!"?!
CLOUD:SHUT UP,CID!!!!!
SIMONE:In Corner 2,from Gongaga,Zaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
ZACK:I'm doin' this for Aeris!
AERIS:HI,ZACKIE!!!
CLOUD:GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
SIMONE:And in Corner 3,from Balamb,Zeeeeeeeeeeeeell Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiincht!
ZELL:*throws some practice punches*
SIMONE:Okay,you know the rules by now and I'm sick of explaining them.LET'S GET IT ON!
ZELL:*charges toward Zack*
ZACK:*shoves his sword up Zell's butt*
ZELL:My butt!My butt!My freakin' butt!
CLOUD:SHUT UP,RETARD!*slices him in half*
ZELL:AAAH!I never even TASTED a hot-dog!*dies*
SIMONE:It's down to Cloud and Zack!
HOSTESSES:Thank you,Captain Obvious!
CLOUD:Leave Aeris alone,you creep!
ZACK:WHY YOU LITTLE!
HOMER:D'oh!
VOICE IN CLOUD'S HEAD:You're nothing but a clone.A puppet created from Zack.Everyone likes Zack.Aeris is in love with Zack...
CLOUD:DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMNIIIIIIIIIIISLAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*does his thing more fiercely than ever and keeps going 'til Zack's so cut up you'd need tweezers to pick up the pieces!*
SIMONE:*holding an umbrella...again*Knock it off already!The winner is Cloud!
(The booth)
ASHLEY:Yeesh!Stop it with the slicing thing already!
KRISTA:Uhhhhh....do you know where the towels are?
BEVERLY:C'mon,this is cool!On to Sabrina!
(The locker room)
SABRINA:I'm here with Sephiroth,the villain of Final Fantasy 7!So,what's it like to be an all-powerful,scientifically produced,freakish Jenova puppet?
SEPHIROTH:WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!*whips out the Masamune*
SABRINA:AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!BACK TO YOU BEV!!QUICK!!!
(The booth)
BEVERLY:Do NOT get Sephy mad!
ASHELY:Wow.Sabrina must be a Sephiroth hater to have called him that!
KRISTA:*yawn*If we don't start talking about Sailor Moon I'm gonna go to sleep!
BEV/ASH:KRISTA!!!!
KRISTA:SERENA!!!!!!!!!
ASHLEY:On to the ring!
(The ring)
SIMONE:In the red corner,from Final Fantasy 7,Sephirooooooooth!
FF7 CROWD:BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!*throwing various rotten vegetables at him*
SIMONE:And in the blue corner,from Escaflowne,Alleeeeeeeeeeeeeen Shezaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarr!
ESCAFLOWNE CROWD:BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!*throwing various rotten vegetables at him*
SEPHY/ALLEN:KNOCK IT OFF!!
SIMONE:Okay,I want a tough,clean fight!
BEVERLY:'Bout time she said it cool!
SIMONE:You know the rules.LET'S GET IT ON!
SEPHIROTH:*casts Bolt 3*
ALLEN:*DRIPPING with sarcasm*Ouch.What do you call that?
SEPHIROTH:Bolt 3.
ALLEN:Well then,I guess you can call this Bolt 99!*electrocutes poor Sephy so bad he explodes*
SIMONE:Allen is the winner!
(The booth)
KRISTA/ASHLEY:*singing*Joy to the world--
BEVERLY:HEY!!All of you quit saying mean things about him!
ASHLEY:*sarcasticly*Oh,right,like he's not evil.
BEVERLY:He's not!He's just misunderstood!
CLOUD:Sephy not evil?Yeah right,and I cross dress on a daily basis!
CORNEO:Actually...ACK!!!*Tifa opens a can of whoop butt on him!*
BEVERLY:Uhhh,let's go to the final match!!!!!!!!Let's take it to the sky-port!
(The sky-port(it looks like a flying part of Gold Saucer,but there's nuthin' on it but the two air/space ships))
SIMONE:In Lane 1,from FF7,pilots of the Highwind,AVALAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCHE!
AUDIANCE:*goes SUPER,TOTALLY wild!*
SIMONE:And in Lane 2,from Outlaw Star,pilots of the Outlaw Star,the outlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaws!
AUDIANCE:*goes SUPER wild!*
SIMONE:Okay--
BEVERLY:HOLD IT!!!!None of you are driving your vehicles......
BOTH TEAMS:WHA--?!
BEVERLY:.........you're driving EACH OTHER'S vehicles!!
BOTH TEAMS:SAY WHAT?!
(The teams grumble as they enter their opponents' vehicle)
(The Highwind)
GENE:*at the cockpit*How does this dang thing work?
AISHA:Dunno.....
NELTHINA:Huh?*looks around*YAY!They don't have navigation tanks!I'M FREE!!FREE AT LAST!!!
JIM:*sarcastically*Yeah,we're happy for you,Nel.
SUZUKA:If Moron Theater is now over,may we please proceed with understanding this vessel's controls?
(The Outlaw Star)
TIFA:HEY!There's room for four pilots in the cockpit!
CID:*dives into the seat on top*I get to be the main pilot!
OTHERS:*is not surprised*
GALEON:So you are AVALANCHE?
CLOUD:*does the Cloud Strife Freakout*NO!!IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!!!!
AERIS:Actually,that was the ship's computer.
CLOUD:*stands up*Oh,OK.
BARRET:*notices the tank in the back of the cockpit*Hey,yo,wha' dis do?
GALEON:That is the navigation system.Someone must go in there in order to fuse with the ship's engine.
AVALANCHE:SAY WHAT?!
VINCENT:Who is going in?
ALL:VINCENT?!
YUFFIE:Weren't you blown away?
VINCENT:Umm,did you ever hear of ducking?
CLOUD:So who's gonna go in it?
BARRET:How 'bout Yuffie?
YUFFIE:No way,Jose!!I could drown in there!!!
CID:She could drown?Cool!Let's put her in!
CAIT:Um,I don't think that's a good idea...*all look wickedly at him*Uh,why are you guys looking at me like that?
OTHERS:*surrounds him and grabs him*
CAIT:*nervously*Uh,guys?!
OTHERS:*take Cait off his moogle and throws him into the tank*
CAIT:ALRIGHT,WHEN I GET OUTTA HERE YOU GUYS ARE GONNA FEEL THE WRONG END OF MY MEGAPHONE IN THE WRONG PLACE REAL SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CID:*takes down Gene's foam dice-things and replaces it with a Dukes of the Hazzard keychain*
RED:Um,Cid,this isn't your ship,so you can't do that.
CID:DANG!I'm about to destroy my REAL ship anyway,so I might as well make THIS one mine!
BEVERLY:Alright!The teams are settled in their ships!
ASHLEY:NOW what?
BEVERLY:Let's sing the National Anthom!
KRISTA:Uhh,WHICH nation?This is international!
BEVERLY:Uhh,make it from Slayers!
SLAYERS CREW:WOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!
ASHLEY:Which one?Don't Be Discouraged?
KRISTA:Get Along?
ASHLEY:Just Be Concious?
BEVERLY:GIVE A REASON!!
ASH&KRIS:Oh.
BEVERLY:*grabs her keyboard and jumps in the ring*REMIX!!!!
KRISTA:*grabs her electric guitar and joins her*WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
?????:Hey,guys!
KRISTA:What the--SUZAN?!
BEVERLY:I got a letter from her saying she wanted a part in this fic.
KRISTA:Oh.
SUZAN:*grabs her drums and joins them*YES!!!Harmony's first debut has FINALLY ARRIVED!!!!
AUTHORS NOTE:Me an' Kris an' Suzy's got a (mini) band!We're called Harmony!^_^
HARMONY:*starts playing the Give A Reason remix at MAXIMUM VOLUME!*
EVERYONE:*starts singing and dancing to the music*
(Near the end of the song...)
EVERYONE:Give a reason for life!Todoketaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!*dance to the ending music,and NOW the song's done*
SIMONE:*VERY excitedly(like everyone else)*Start your engines!!
TEAMS:*(with a little difficulty due to confusion)what else?*
SIMONE:LET'S GET IT OOOOOOON!!!!!!!
(The ships take off into the sky)
(The Highwind)
GENE:LET'S DO IT!!
AISHA:*notices a certain,red button...^_^*Ohhh,pretty!What does it do?!*presses it*
JIM:AISHA,WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!
HIGHWIND:*fires two of it's missiles*
(The Outlaw Star,gets hit,a little)
TIFA:Captain,they've opened fire!Should we engage combat?
CAIT:Oooookaaaaay,that sounded like something from Star Trek!
CID:*looking vacantly at the built-in monitor on his controls*Not now!I'm watchin' the Dukes!!
VINCENT:Tifa asked you something.
CID:Uhh,shouldn't we look for,like,a weak spot or something?
CAIT:Scanning the Highwind now.OK,I'll put it on screen.
(The Highwind appears blue print-style on the main screen)
CAIT:The red means a weak point.
CLOUD:Found it!It's over by the Chocobo stable,and it's a BIG spot!
CID:DANG!I KNEW there was something wrong with that area!FIRE!!
BARRET:A'ight!*readies his gun-arm*
VINCENT:He means for the ship to fire.
AERIS:Firing missiles!
(The Highwind*gets hit BIG TIME!*)
JIM:Gene,we've been hit!
GENE:It just said that!*hands him the script to CLONE FIGHT NITE LIVE!!!!!!!*
JIM:*reading*"The Highwind,gets hit big time"....Oh,OK.
SUZUKA:You just had to press the red button,didn't you,Aisha?
AISHA:Umm...I'm sorry?
AUTHOR'S NOTE:IT'S ALWAYS THE RED BUTTON,ISN'T IT?!
GENE:Return fire!
NELTHINA:Roger.
AISHA:No,he's Gene.
NELTHINA:Oh,brother.
AISHA:You don't HAVE a brother,you're an android.
NELTHINA:*groans and fires the missiles*
MISSILES:*hits the Outlaw Star,but has no effect*
SUZUKA: What happened?!
NELTHINA:The missiles are too weak,that's what happened!
(The Outlaw Star)
CLOUD:HA!I TOLD you your missiles are too weak,Cid!
CAIT:*in Nelson voice*HA HA!
BARRET:*sticking his tounge out*Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!
CID:KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!!OPEN FIRE!!!GIVE IT ALL WE'VE GOT!!!!
GALEON:Is that a wise choice?
CID:SHUT YOUR TRAP CIRCUT BOY!!!!
GALEON:Alright,alright!Sheesh!
CID:FIRE!!!!!!!!
MISSILES:*hits the Highwind,causing MAJOR DAMAGE!*
(Soon this turns into the air/space ship battle of the century!)
CAPTAIN KIRK:How DARE they have cooler equipment than us!
SPOCK:DANG CORRECT!!
HAN SOLO:GEEZ!That red ship's faster than my Millenium Falcon!
CHEWBACCA:GRRRRRRRRRRR!!
LUKE:What did he say?
HAN:DANG CORRECT!!
(The Outlaw Star)
CID:THAT'S IT!!!!!!
CLOUD:LIMIT BREAKS NOW!!!!!!!METEO RAIN!!!!!!!
BARRET:SATTELITE BEAM!!!!!!!
RED:COSMO MEMORY!!!!!
CID:DRAGON!!!!!!
(The Limit Breaks hit the Highwind full force,making a KICK-BUTT EXPLOSION!!)
OUTLAWS:AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!*hit the ground and die*
SIMONE:THE WINNERS ARE AVALANCHE AND THEIR NEW SHIP,THE OUTLAAAAAAAAAW STAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!
SABRINA:*to Cid*Congratulations!You just won the battle of the century!!What're you gonna do now?
CID:I'm gonna rename my new ship!
BARRET:Yeah,"Outlaw Star"sounds too criminal!
SABRINA:Oh?And what will you name it?
CID:How 'bout--
CLOUD:It's NOT gonna be the "General Lee"!!!
CID:How'd you know what I was gonna name it?
BEVERLY:Why don't you call it the "Red Falcon"?
CID:*considers that possibility*OK,I'll take it!
ASHLEY:Well,that about does it here!
BEVERLY:Nope!There's one more thing I wanna do!*runs up to Hojo's body*
KRISTA:Huh?
BEVERLY:*pours gasoline all over Hojo,then sets him on fire,then runs him over with a bulldozer,cuts him into ribbons,runs over him more,sets him on fire more,has a heard of elephants trample over him,puts MORE fire on him,slices him up more, runs him over with the bulldozer one more time,and starts poking him with a stick!O_O*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!
ASHLEY:*over Beverly's "poke"s and "DIE!"s*Well,THIS evening was sure exiting!SHUT UP BACK THERE!!I'm Ashely Something!
KRISTA:And I'm Se--*sees Ashley's killer glare*err--Krista Rentkewitz,WE SAID SHUT UP BACK THERE!And we're saying good fight,good night!
JOHNNY GOMEZ:I miss saying that line....
THE END...
BEVERLY:DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!
KRISTA:Uhh,Bev?I think he's dead already.
BEVERLY:Oh.Dang.*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!*poke*DIE!
Japanese Index:
konnichiwa=hello
minna=everyone
hai=yes,right,okay
-san=respected person/s
-chan=close friend/s or boy/girlfriend
odango-atama=meatball head
bakayaru=stupid idiot
OK,I really need a towel over here!"