The Quest for Donuts
By Aeris
Aeris (author): The entire regular group was in Cloud’s house. Aeris and Tifa were fighting, as usual, though not over Cloud. No, they were fighting over something much more valuable:
Aeris: IT’S MINE!
Tifa: Wanna bet, Ancient B****?
Aeris: Shut up! Hey, where’d it go?
Yuffie: (devours the final donut)
Aeris/Tifa: WHAT?!?!? #@$#@$@#$@#%#$%#@%@#$%@$%@#%$@#%$@#%$#@$%(@%(@%((#@%*@(#$*@%$*@*@(#$*@#%*#%*$*%#*$%#@*%#@*%$(*%@$%@#^*(@%*^(*^%(*@$^%$*^%*^@$(^*@%*$(*^%@#*&%()*%)(*%@*^*^%^*$)(#*$^)(#*^)(@#^@ YOU ATE THE LAST ONE! !@#!@#$!#@!%#@%!#%!@%$!@%$!@%$#!$%@!$%!$%!@$%
Everyone: Wow, Aeris and Tifa pulled a Cid!
Sephorith: (Drops out of the sky and stabs Aeris in the back, only to have his oversized butter-knife bounce off the metal plate she inserted in her dress)
Cloud: OMNISLASH!!!!
Sephorith: ACK! (dies)
Tifa/Aeris: (kill Yuffie)
Yuffie: I regret nothing! (burps) (dies)
Aeris: Well, now where are we going to get more donuts?
Tifa: What do you mean, we, B****?
Aeris: (Punches Tifa)
Everyone: (places bets)
Cloud: $15 on Aeris!
Everyone else: (accepts the bet)
Aeris(Author): Hmm. Can’t they read the by-line?
Everyone but Cloud and Aeris: DOH!
5 minutes later:
Aeris: (smiles and knocks out Tifa with a lucky knock over the head)
Cloud: WOO!
Everyone else: (grumbles)
(Later that night, on the Highwind, everyone resting up for a trip for donuts)
Aeris: (sleepwalks) They will be mine.. Yes, they will be mine..
Tifa: (snores REALLY loudly)
Everyone else: SHUT THE @#$#@$ UP!
Aeris: (walks into Cloud’s room and falls asleep next to him)
Tifa: (Wakes, stumbles into Cloud’s room and falls asleep next to Aeris)
Cloud: (mutters) Too crowded.. (leaves and goes to sleep in the engine room, activating a security camera meant to catch Yuffie while he’s out of the room on the way out)
(Later that night:)
Aeris: (Leans over, still mostly asleep) Oh, Cloud..
Tifa: (Rolls towards Aeris, also asleep) Cloud..
(They rather passionately kiss, for a few seconds.)
Aeris: Cloud? You feel, strange..
Tifa: (kisses Aeris again)
Aeris: (continues the kiss with Tifa)
Aeris and Tifa open their eyes in the middle of the kiss..
Aeris/Tifa: (Scream)
Everyone else: SHUT UP! (They seal and soundproof the door for the night, leaving the two to try and kill each other)
(The next day):
Tifa: I swear, if you don’t give us that tape..
Aeris: I’ll crush it.
Cait Sith: Erm, I’m just a toy. I don’t have an it.
Tifa: Oh, yeah.
Aeris: Just give us the tape, Cait.
Cait Sith: But why? It’s so great.. The two of you trapped in there was funny, but the two of you making out was priceless..
Aeris: WHAT?
Tifa: WHAT?
Cait: I’m going to make a fortune off it!
Aeris: Oh, that’s it!
Tifa/Aeris: (Starts pounding Cait)
Cid: We’re here! I hope you two are happy, I missed the Dukes.
Tifa/Aeris: Oh, donuts... (jump out and run to the store)
Little Kid: Hey, mommy, it’s those two in that video!
Cait: (has Reeve start to build a mark 3 Cait Sith)
Tifa: What video?
Little Kid: You haven’t seen it? It’s been advertised everywhere! It sold a million copies since it’s release three hours ago!
Rena (from StarOcean 2): Claude, this is NOT Expel! Why can’t you just ask for directions?
Claude: Rena, this world is as good as any other!
Rena: Excuse me, you two, where can a couple of heroes find a place to make a living?
Aeris: You could come with us.. We seem to constantly be under attack.
Claude: See? We can live here..
Aeris: Listen, see that toy that looks like a cat? It’s a clone of a friend of ours. Destroy it, and you can come.
Claude: Sure thing! (Mirror Slices Cait twice)
Cait: Hey! (Dies)
Aeris: (Smiles) Let’s go.
Tifa: Remind me to kick Reeve in the balls next time I see him
Aeris: Not before I do!
Tifa: Shut up, Ancient B****!
And they all walked off, eating donuts the whole way