The Wacked Out Sports League Deathmatch titles!

By Watchers Prime and Gamma

Watcher Prime: Hello, I’m Watcher Prime

Watcher Gamma: And I’m Watcher Gamma and this is the...

Both Watchers: The WOSL Deathmatch title fight night!

Watcher Prime: We have a fine line of matches tonight and they (fells something going up and down his leg)

Watcher Gamma: (smiles and whispers to him) I want you now!

Watcher Prime: (whispers back) wait til the matches are over!

Watcher Gamma: Ok........

Watcher Prime: Well anyway, we have three matches ready for this evening and in no real order they are Match #1: Yuffie Kisaragi Vs. Lina Inverse!

Watcher Gamma: For the title of “Most annoying thief in the world”!

Watcher Prime: Then for match #2: Raye Hino (Sailor Mars) Vs. Serena Tsukino (Sailor Moon) for the title of “most stuck up, good for nothing b***h”!

Watcher Gamma: For our final match we have all the male characters of final fastasy 7 Vs. a unknown emeny (bum bum bum!)

Watcher Prime: Nice touch there.

Watcher Gamma: thank you (whispers to him) So? How do you want me to do it?

Watcher Prime: (whispers back) I said not til the matches are over!

Watcher Gamma: (kicks her voice back up) ok......

Watcher Prime: Anyway, I think the 1st match is about to begin! Lets go down to the ring with a on the spot person......Emiko?!

Emiko: (near the ring) Yep, it’s me! Well, the match is about to begin.......let’s watch!

Yuffie: Get ready to die you thiefin’ b***h!

Lina: I don’t see my death by you anytime soon....besides i’m a badnit killer, remember!?

Patrick: (as the ref) SHUT THE HELL UP BOTH OF YOU!!

Yuffie and Lina: (have shut up now)

Patrick: Allright you know the rules, no using any crap you steal, and no magic! Did I make myself clear?

Yuffie and Lina: Yes sir...

Patrick: LETS GET IT ON!!

????????????: (somewhere in the arena) You said it!

????????????: hehe! Oh Prime...! Your so good at this!

Watcher Prime: I know Gamma, I know! (grabs her breasts and starts rubing them)

Watcher Gamma: Ooooohhhh yyyyyaaaeeehhh!

(at the ring) Yuffie: You’re going to die tonight! *throws her shuriken at Lina*

Lina: *avoids the shuriken* HA! Is that the best you can do? *summons a fireball*

Patrick: *chops Lina’s hand off with his Z-Saber*

Lina: HOLY S**T! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

Patrick: I said no magic and I meant it!

(meanwhile the shuriken cuts one of the wires for a large spike)

Yuffie: That’s it! *b***h slaps Lina*

Lina: Why you!? *b***h slaps Yuffie*

Yuffie: HO! *b***h slaps Lina*

Lina: Your boyfriend is a Gothic b*****d! *b***h slapsYuffie*

Yuffie: HEY! DON’T TALK ABOUT VINNY THAT WAY! *uppercuts Lina*

Vincent: (runs to the ring) Yeah! That should teach you magic whore!!

Lina: Grrrr..... *jabs Yuffie*

Vincent: THAT’S IT! *fires a bullet in the air* NOBODY DOES THAT TO MY YUFFIE! *body slams Lina*

(meanwhile the bullet cuts though the other rope of the big spike and it drops on the thiefing b***hes)

Yuffie and Lina: I reget nothing.....(the spike lands on both of them!)

Vincent: NNOOOO!!! There goes my fun......unless....*pulls out the instance plot device: (just add water) and uses it on Yuffie*

Yuffie: (now living again) I won the match!!! *tap dances on Lina’s dead body*

(up at the the main booth were.....HEY where are Wacthers Prime and Gamma?!)

*a sign shows up* WP’s sign: That was one good match wasn’t it?

WG’s sign: Yes, yes it was

WP’s sign: next we have a interview with the unknown foe for the main event, our interviewer, Cait Sith!

(in the room of the unknown foe)

Cait Sith: So what kind of grudge do you hold against your foes for this match?

Unknown foe: Well, to be truthful, I don’t have any grudge against of them.

Cait Sith: Then why do you want to fight?

Unknown foe: Well, I want to get someone’s attention..

Cait Sith: Who?

Unknown foe: That’s enough out of you *the unknown foe blows the hell out of cait sith!*

Cait Sith: Oh...poppy *dies*

(back at the desk)

Watcher Prime: (now sitting upright, with his clothes on.....) What does that unknown foe want...?

Watcher Gamma: Beats the hell out of me! I think the next is ready....

Watcher Prime: I think so lets go to the ring!

(At the ring)

Patrick: One the red side of the ring, Raye Hino, other wise known as Sailor Mars!

(one side or the arena cheers for Raye.....along with.....Darian!?)

Darian: Come on Raye, kick that b***h’s @$$ and i’ll give you pleasure!

Raye: Allright honey, i’ll kill her for you! *blows a kiss for Darian* Besides, i like to be hugged close!

Serena: Grrr......

Patrick: And as you know, in the blue side for the ring, is Serena Tsukino, other wise known as Sailor Moon

(the other side of the arena is quiet.....too quiet.....)

Serena: Hey! Where the hell is my crowd!?

The only guy there: Hey, my ticket dosen’t have this seat...... *he leaves*

Serena: *BIG anime sweatdrop!*

Raye and Serena: *Do there transfromation thing or whatever*

Patrick: LET’S GET IT ON!!!

Raye: I hoped your ready to die!

Serena: I don’t want to do this anymore! WWWWWWAAAAAAAAA!

Raye: Huh? What’s wrong, you hurt? *comes up close to Serena*

Serena: hehehe *shoves her moon wand up her @$$!*

Raye: My @$$! My f**kin’ @$$! That was a cheap shot! Grrrrr....

Serena: HAHA! You fell for it! You fell for the oldest joke in the book!

Raye: Why you b***h! *claws Serena’s face*

Serena: Not the face! AAAAHHHH! Darian save me!

Darian: (siting near Tenchi) Man.........Your life is more interesting than mine

Tenchi: At least you don’t have 6 women drooling all over you!(fells something wet on his shoulder) Ryoko! For the last time, stop that!

Ryoko: Ok........

Serena: Uh, Darian? Can you help me out here?

Darian: (not hearing Serena all together) Can I move in with you?

Tenchi: Ok...I guess, as you don’t mind bunking with....

Darian: HELL YEAH!!

Tenchi: Little Washu!

Darian: AH! Pickle d**k!

Cid: Hey, I wanted to bunk with her!

Darian: Then take her! Go on don’t be shy!

Washu: Nope, I want you Darian to be my guniea pig! (drags Darian out of the arena)

Darian: If there’s any good hearted souls left in this world, please, GET ME OUT OF THIS MESS!!!!!

The crowd: (doesn’t move a inch)

(back in the ring)

Raye: Time to die you stuck b***h!

Serena: I reget nothing......

Raye: *goes in for the kill...but something grabs her leg......it’s Patrick!?* Huh? What the hell is going on!?

Patrick: I had it with you you stuck up %@%$$@%^@$%@$#%^#$%#%#%%$@%#$%@$@$#%# (two hours later) and your grandpa does you in the shower, and you allways like it!

Raye: How dare you spill the beans on my love life!

The crowd: *pukes on.....Luna*

Luna: AH S**T! WHY ME?

Red XIII: I’m free! I’m free! *dances around the arena*

Patrick: Now to kill you off! *beats the s**t out of her*

Serena: (thinks to herself) Maybe he’s free for tonight.......

Raye: I reget nothing

Patrick: *picks her up and throws her into a deep fryer and truns it on with her in it!* Who wants some KFR!? **Kentucky Fried Raye**

Cid, Cloud, Red XIII and Barret: HELL YEAH!

Cid: This is better than the Dukes!

Cloud: This is better than screwing Tifa!

Red XIII: I want the white meat!

Barret: I pity the foo’ who calls the white meat!

Red XIII: Shut the hell up! *Malls Barret*

Watcher Prime: (looks shocked..) This was one f**ked up match..

Watcher Gamma: Indeed, I didn’t see that coming at all....

Watcher Prime: We must pull out the back up match....... (calls the head office)

The Prez: ...I see....I give the go ahead, perpare match: last chance

Watcher Gamma: What was that about?

Watcher Prime: We have a new match for you.....after this message!

(commercial)

Cath Sith: Has your love life been in a rut?

Cloud: Yes it has, I just can’t get that felling i allways get before i make love to Tifa

Cath Sith: Then try some ‘White Hawk Tea’* tonight..and tell me what happens *throws Cloud a bag*

Cloud: Ok, i’ll try it....

(later that night....)

Tifa: Ooooohhhh yyyeeesssss! Cloud you do this so well!

Cloud: (thinking to himself) I’ll drink my tea before sex from now on!

Cath Sith: That name is ‘White Hawk Tea’ Drink your tea...

Tenchi’s grandpa: (pops out of the tea) It’s good for you!

(end of commercial)

Watcher Prime: The ring is ready for our next match!

Watcher Gamma: With a new Ref, everyone give a round of sound for.....Sephiroth!

Sehiroth: *flies in* Hi everybody!

Watcher Prime: Now to the match, In the red side of the ring, space pirate and maniac Tenchi groupie, Ryoko!

Ryoko: Hi, how’s everyone been?

Watcher Gamma: And in the blue side of the ring, Princess of Jurai, and a major Tenchi groupie, Princess Ayeka!

Aheka: Hello......

Watcher Prime: This isn’t a normal deathmatch, the winner of this match gets Tenchi as her prize!

Tenchi: *hanging from above* This wasn’t part of the advertiseing deal Prime!

Watcher Prime: Don’t ask me, this is your grandpa’s idea!

Tenchi’s Grandpa: Don’t pin this one on me, this was your boss’s idea!

Watcher Gamma: Anyway, the match is about to begin!

(at the ring)

Sephiroth: Allright you know the rules, LET’S GET IT ON!!!

Ryoko: Tenchi will finally be mine! *slaps Ayeka*

Ayeka: He’ll be mine! *punchs Ryoko*

Ryoko: Grrrrrr.......

Ayeka: Grrrrrrr.........

Watcher Prime: Looks like this is a stand off....

Ayeka: That’s it! Time to die!!!! *picks up Cid’s spear*

Ryoko: Why you...! *picks up Cloud’s sword*

(the two end up in a giant stare down)

Sasami: Who wants some cr....i mean carrots?

Marlene: I want some

Rufus: (with his big @$$ crack pipe ready) Put it in a large pack for me!

Sasami: Ok *readys the two orders....*

Marlene: *eats the entire ‘carrot’*

Rufus: *runs off lighting his pipe*

A few minutes later....

Marlene: *stoned beyond belief* Daddy....try these carrots.... *drops face first on the floor*

Barret: *looks at the carrots* Man, what is this s**t? *looks at Sasami* Hey!

Sasami: Yes sir... You want some carrots too?

Barret: I want to know what is in these f**kin’ carroits!

Sasami: OW! My ears hurt!

Herro Yuy: *for some reason is siting near the ‘stand’* Excuse me sir?

Barret: What the hell do you want?

Herro: Did you just curse in front of that kid?

Barret: So what if I did?

Herro: I want you to say sorry to that kid....NOW!

Relena: You go Herro! Stick it to him!

Herro: SHUT UP RELENA OR NO FUN TONIGHT!

Relena: *backs away slowly...then runs for it!*

Barret: I’m not sayin’ sorry, what you gonna do about it foo’!?

Herro: *pulls out his small buster rifle* I hope you have good life insurance....

Barret: I reget nothin’...!

Herro: *blows the s**t out of Barret!* Any one else has a problem with my morals!?

The crowd: *is quiet and slowly takes a step back*

(somewhere else in the arena)

Cid: Say this to me one more time, just so I get this right

Greg: I’m saying that Kitt can beat the General Lee in a race!**

Cid: Why you little!

Greg: You wanna piece of this?

Cid: *shoves a broken beer bottle up Greg’s @$$!*

Greg: AHHH! My @$$! My @$$! My f**king @$$!

Cid: Now, what did we learn today?

Greg: The Dukes rule! The Dukes rule!

Cid: Danm straight! *opnes up a can of hash*

(In another part of the arena)

Serena: I was wondering.....Do you want to go out with me?

Patrick: Of course! I’ve been wanting you to ask me out for so long!

Serena: I....I don’t know what to say...

Patrick: Then just don’t say anything *they lean in for a kiss...but all of a sudden*

Darian: *Catching his breath* Help me.....Serena! I don’t know....how long I can last...

Serena: Well, well, well! Mr. Chiba comes crying to me for help....Fat chance b*****d! *kicks Darian in the nuts*

Darian: *In a high pitched voice* I’ll get you for this......*passes out*

Washu: *fades in* Thanks for stoping him....*picks up Darian and both of them fade out*

(back at the ring)

Aheka: Grrrrr......

Ryoko: Grrrrr......

Sephiroth: JUST KILL EACH OTHER ALLREADY!!!

Ryoko: Happy to do so! *runs after Ayeka*

Ayeka: That’s it! *runs right at Ryoko*

*Ryoko fades out of sight......but fades back in....impaled on Ayeka’s spear!*

Aheka: Did I win?

Sephiroth: Yes you did, you killed your foe!

Ayeka: Does that mean that I own Tenchi?

Sephiroth:......Yes!

Ayeka: Thanks for clearing that up! *files up to pick up Tenchi*

Sehpiroth: Man...She has to get out of the house more often!

(to the place where Tenchi is tied up)

Ayeka: Hello there Tenchi.....I hope your ready for some pleasure!

Tenchi: *Looking all sheepish* Uh....Don’t you think we should slow down?

Ayeka: Why? Is this your first time?

Tenchi: Ah......yes it is...

Ayeka: Don’t worry it’ll be fun!

Tenchi: If you say so.....

(Let’s fade out form that sence......back to the booth!)

Watcher Prime: The next bout is unlike any other I can assure you!

Watcher Gamma: Let’s go to the ring now!

Watcher Prime: In the blue side of the ring, Cloud, Red XIII, Vincent, Cid, and Cath Sith!

Cloud: What happened to Barret?

Herro: *from the front row* He saw my Gundam parked outside!

Red XIII: No he didn’t! You killed him becaused he cursed at a little girl!

Cath Sith: A savior has come!

Vincent: Shut up! *slaps Cath Sith over the head*

Cath Sith: OW!!!

Watcher Prime: And, in the red side of the ring....inside gundam 04 aka Sandrock, The unknown foe!!!!

Unknown foe: Hey Sephy! Remember me?

Sephy: It can’t be.....I kicked you out of here!

Unknown foe: KICK THE SEPHIROTH!!!!

Sephiroth: DON’T KICK THE SEPHIROTH!!!!!

Unknown foe: KICK THE SEPHIROTH!!!!! *kicks sephiroth out of the arena!*

Cloud: S**T! Who is our foe here?

Unknown foe: Pi-ka-chu!

Red XIII: Didn’t I kill that punk!?

Cid: More importantly, how in hell can we blow up a gundam!?

Cath Sith: I don’t care! *hit 04 with his mic*

Pikachu: *pulls out one of his swords and slices Cath in two!*

Cath Sith: AH S**T! Not again (dies)

Pikachu: Hey Vinny, YOUR TARTS SUCK!!!!!!

Vincent: NOBODY CALLS ME VINNY BUT MY YUFFIE AND NOBODY INSULTS MY TARTS!!! *truns into Chaos*

Pikachu: I think i’m gonna die now.....

Vincent: DAMN RIGHT!!! *Dose Satan Slam on the Gundam*

Pikachu: *the Gundam is hurting* AH S**T THAT HURT!!! *slices Vinny in two!*

Vinny: Good bye cruel world! (dies)

Cloud: THAT’S IT! OMNI-... *is stopped by Cid* Why you do that for?

Cid: I have a plan, follow me *Cid and Cloud get out of the ring*

Pikachu: That leaves only you left Red XIII!

Red XIII: Eat this! *farts on 04*

(in the cockpit)

Pikachu: What the hell? The controls are stuck!

Sehpiroth: *fades into the cock pit* Time to die!!!! *impales Pikachu with Maseume!*

Pikachu: That hurt! (dies)

(in the ring)

Cid: Plant the C4 everywhere!

Cloud: Got it! *Cloud plants the C4 everywhere*

Cid: See you in hell Pikachu! *sets off the bombs*

Sehpiroth: NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!! *04 blows up killing Sehpiroth along with it!*

The winners: Do their victory dance

(At the booth)

Watcher Prime: Now that was a good match!

Watcher Gamma: You said it!

Watcher Prime: Until next time, good fight.....good night!

Watcher Gamma: Now where were we?

Watcher Prime: How about right here.... *sinks under the table*

Watcher Gamma: Yep! *goes down with him*

The End!

*’White Hawk Tea’ is the tea that Tenchi’s grandpa tries to get Tenchi to drink.....what’s in it? The world may never know!

** Kitt is the talking robot car from Night Rider

All copyrights to there repected owners (whoever they are)

Want more of my work? then e-mail me at dj14_14@yahoo.com