Part One

Buffy was lying in bed. She leaned over to see her bedside clock and read 12:16. She sighed and flopped onto her back. Earlier in the night, she had been pretty tired, but now, try as she might, she couldn't fall asleep. Her thoughts were occupied. She almost wished there were some terrible enemy she could worry about, anything instead of thinking about Angel. Every time she closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep she saw his face, the two kisses they had shared. They played over and over in her head until she though she would go crazy. She wished more than anything they could have had more than those two, that they could have more in the future... She wished she didn't have to close her eyes to see his face, she wanted to be able to turn around and see him, be able to trace his features rather than just imagining it. She felt very alone. Even her mother had left her, she remembered the conversation:

"I can't leave you!" Joyce had said.

"I don't see how you could pass this up... I want you to go. Just think of it: a three-month round-the-world trip to study art with the best art critics? No WAY am I letting you stay!"

She still felt the same way, and was glad her mother had such an amazing opportunity. She was happy for her, yet there were still the nights where se felt alone, nights like this. She wished Angel were here, his arms around her, comforting her... ~ Snap out of it! ~ she told herself. ~ Forget him! He's a vampire! ~ She tried as hard as she could to believe these things, but still in the recesses of her mind she knew she could never forget him, not as long as she lived, he was her first, her only love...

She jumped out of bed, as if to clear her mind. She got dressed in her standard black pants and white tank top and grabbed a stake. She almost jumped out the window, corrected herself, and ran downstairs and out the door. She practically ran down the street.

~ Where am I going? What am I doing? ~

She strolled through the graveyard but found no vampires. She kept mentally repeating all the arguments against Angel, as she had been doing for the past weeks, but it still wasn't working.

She turned and began walking towards the Bronze. She walked in, scanning the room for... no one. She denied to herself that she had hoped to see Angel here. She sat down at the bar and ordered a coke. As she searched the room with her eyes, she kept sipping her coke, not aware of her surroundings. She was startled for a second when a tall handsome man, about 20 years old sat down beside her.

"Hi! I'm David, and you are?"

"Buffy" She replied with a little coldness. But David was not discouraged.

"So, what do you think about the band tonight?" He continued chatting, but Buffy kept giving clipped, cold replies, only to direct questions. It only took her a minute to realize that this was the perfect opportunity to get over Angel. She decided to totally focus on the conversation with David, but at the same time she kept searching for a certain someone. With her attention so distracted she was taken completely aback when something odd started to happen. Her vision began to swim. All seemed to flow into each other, become each other. She was so confused, she wondered that it wasn't visible in her face or speech, because David seemed to see nothing wrong. As the symptoms worsened, she began to get very scared, she felt out of control of her body, her arms, legs and head felt like dead weight. She couldn't even think anymore. All of a sudden, she thought she saw Angel.

Angel had been watching her for the past few weeks. Every time he saw her he felt as if her were being stabbed through the heart. The thought that she didn't like him was enough to drive him to suicide, but he decided he had to stay alive, if only to protect her. It was an ever-raging battle in him; whether he should leave her alone or talk to her. Every time he saw her, it almost killed him not to go up to her and reveal his true feelings, but indecisiveness held him off. This one night, he had rested beneath her window. He dreamed about her lying in bed, how she would look, what she would say if the entered. He doubted she even felt the mild attraction to him she had felt at the beginning. He felt as if his life were bereft, all he had left was to watch her, make sure no harm came to her.

She had stormed out of the house, magnificent in her unhappiness. He knew her mother was away, but it surprised him that she was leaving the house at this time of night. Quietly, he followed her through the graveyard, to the Bronze. When she arrived there, it seemed she was looking for someone.

~ Maybe she's meeting Xander or some other guy... She's forgotten about me... ~

His musings were stilled as a man sat down next to her and she bestowed her beautiful smile upon him. It was all Angel could do not to cry, or rip the man's head off. He was distracted, so it took him a while to notice the difference in Buffy. She seemed... unbalanced, confused. He crept closer. He was sure of it now. He had a fleeting thought that he was making this up as an excuse to talk to her, but he quickly dismissed it.

"Hello Buffy."

He saw only the faintest glimmer of recognition in her eyes. She muttered under her breath, as if it took great effort:

"Angel."

David broke in: "Excuse me, we were having a conversation here. I would appreciate if you would leave now." Angel shot him a look that quickly halted his objections. He leaned over until he was the same height as Buffy and looked her in the eyes. Her eyelids were drooped, she held herself differently, and her eyes were abnormally dilated. He said, softly:

"Buffy, are you alright?" All she could murmur in reply was:

"Angel..."

David grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the Bronze. Angel watched them with conflicting emotions, and then decided and ran after them, catching them outside. Buffy had fallen backward into David's arms, he was now half-dragging her.

Angel approached them and, despite protests, took Buffy and leaner her against a wall. Then, on the wall perpendicular to that one, he pinned David.

"What did you do to her?" he growled.

"Nothing, leave me alone. She left with me, not you, so deal. I'm gonna call the police."

"I don't think so." Angel felt his face slip into that of a vampire's. The suspicion had been in his mind, and when he finally admitted to himself what had happened, what David had tried to do to Buffy, HIS Buffy, the rage was almost uncontrollable.

"What did you put in her drink?"

"Nothing... much. A little sedative, that's it, now lemme go!" He was visibly shaken by Angel's transformation.

Angel reared back his fist and broke David's nose with a resounding crunch. He then proceeded to wind him, and kick him a few times before he could tear himself away. As he turned to Buffy, his face returned to normal. Buffy was still conscious, but barely. He swept her up in his arms to carry her back home.

"It's okay Buffy, it's okay now. " Her eyes closed, and she passed out.

She vaguely saw a fight and didn't understand. The only thing that passed through the haze was Angel. She saw him fighting, for her, and she realized that she would never be able to get over him, no matter how hard she tried. She was immensely happy to see him before her. The mist and fog in which she was lost became even heavier, and when he picked her up, held her, all she could think was that she was safe, she was safe in his arms, nothing bad could ever happen while he was there, he wouldn't let it. She fell into the sedative-induced sleep.

He brought her to her home, and although he felt guilty about it, he ended up going through her bag for her keys. He placed her gently on her bed, took off her shoes and turned to leave.

~ Wait, how can I leave? When she wakes up she is going to be scared, she won't remember what happened. I have to be here to explain it to her. ~

he sat in a chair. He stared at her, drinking in the sight. He wanted to be able to close his eyes and see this. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful. He wanted more than anything to touch her cheek, kiss her lips, play with her hair. But that would be taking advantage of her, he would be no better than the guy who wanted to... he shuddered when he thought about it. So he sat, for hours, trying to decide whether this was heaven or hell. He loved her, he couldn't deny it. But she didn't love him, and even if she did, she shouldn't. But she didn't love him, he didn't deserve her.

In the wee hours of the morning, her eyes fluttered open. She saw Angel in her room, and her heart almost burst with joy. Angel noticed, ran over to her bed.

"Buffy, I thought I should explain, some guy last night drugged you, he put something in your drink. "

"Oh... I guess that's why I feel like death warmed over."

"Yeah... well, I just wanted to let you know... so you wouldn't be scared... I'll go now."

He headed towards the window.

"No... Stay for a while..." That stopped him. He turned slowly, and at her request kneeled beside her bed, only inches from her face. She was so beautiful. He loved her so much...

She reached out, and with her fingers slowly traced the outline of his face. The touch was so gentle, Angel was surprised at the fire that shot through him. She murmured: "My protector... My Angel..." and she fell back asleep with her hand still on his face. He had to stay there for a minute to calm himself, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to walk straight. Slowly, as much as he didn't want to, he removed her hand from his face. He walked downstairs, out the door, back to his apartment. The whole night and next day, he could do nothing but lie there, haunted by thoughts of her.

She woke to the bright light streaming through her window, and realized that Angel must have left sometime during the night. She remembered last night's events and sighed. She had now resigned herself to the fact she loved him, and was now intent of discovering his feelings for her. She lay back in bed, and decided to go to the Bronze that night.

Go here for more of Angélique's stories.