You Are the New Day
by Cynamin

I don't know what I was expecting when the phone rang. There are usually two possibilities - a client or a bill collector. They balance each other out, I guess. Each has its own kind of danger.

This phone call had a different sort of danger. A danger to my heart.

Cordelia answered the phone as usual. "Angel Investigations. We." Her voice trailed off and a strange look crossed her face. She passed the phone to me without a word.

"Who is it?" I asked. This silence was not like her.

Cordelia shook her head. "I'm afraid if I tell you, you won't take the call."

Curious but wary I took the phone from her hand. "Hello?"

A soft voice I'd know anywhere replied. "Angel?"

I nearly dropped the phone. "Buffy? What's wrong?"

There was a very long pause. I would have been holding my breath if I needed to breathe. Finally, her soft, hesitant reply. "I need to talk to you."

Still holding the phone, I sat down hard. "Alright." My voice was steady, not betraying the emotions her call raised in me.

"No," she said suddenly. "I can't do this."

I was confused. "Buffy." I said, trying to convey that she could say anything to me.

"Not over the phone," she finished. "I need to talk to you...face to face." She hesitated. "Could you.?"

"I'll be there tonight," I said quickly. "That is, if you want me to.?"

"Yeah," she said, almost inaudible. Then, louder, "That would be good. I." she hesitated again. "I'll see you then." She hung up the phone quickly, and I was listening to silence.

For a moment I sat there, the phone in my hand. Cordelia looked at me, concern obvious on her face. "Well?" she asked finally.

I hung up the phone and sprang up from my seat. Cordelia watched as I crossed the room quickly, entering the elevator to my apartment. "Where are you going in such a hurry?" she asked as I closed the metal grate.

I simply looked at her.

"Oh, right. Sunnydale."

Still, it was a good thing he got there so soon. I was so nervous I was feeling nauseous. Considering the number of meals I'd been loosing to Junior, I seriously wanted to keep my dinner down.

Willow and I had been studying Psych together - or she'd been studying and I was trying to - when the hesitant knock came at the door. I knew who it was instantly. Still, I said nothing as Willow stood to answer it. I couldn't.

The door opened slowly, revealing Angel standing there with his hands in the pockets of his coat. "Hi, Willow," he said softly, then his gaze floated past her to seek me out.

Willow turned to look at me, questions in her eyes. I simply nodded. She looked at Angel again, choked out an unintelligible reply, and hurried out of the room. Angel and I were left alone.

Still Angel hesitated just outside the room. I couldn't find my voice to give him the invitation he needed. The silence hung between us.

"Come in," I finally managed to whisper.

Angel stepped into the room and closed the door. He stopped just inside the doorway, silent and waiting for me to speak. I wonder if he had any clue how hard this was for me.

"Sit down," I said finally, my voice shaking.

Angel did so, looking quite uncomfortable as he took a seat on Willow's bed. He looked at me, and I looked away. I could not meet his gaze.

"Buffy." he began softly, questioningly.

I held up a hand to stop him. "I have something to tell you, Angel. Please be quiet and just let me talk for once, alright?"

He nodded. "Alright."

Still, I was silent. How the *hell* was I going to tell him this? If I didn't need to, I never would have. I did need to. He was the only one who could tell me who.or what.the father of my child was. First, though, I had to find an easy way to break my news to him.

"I'm pregnant."

Nope, that wasn't it.

A look of hurt flashed briefly across his face before his gaze went blank. He opened his mouth to reply.

"Don't," I said quickly. "You said you'd let me talk. So before you go any further, let me explain. That's not exactly why I called you here." I paused. "Or, it is, but. The thing is.I don't know who the father is."

Now Angel looked stricken, and I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Stop it!" I yelled at him. "I *so* have not been sleeping around. In fact, the last guy I slept with was five months ago. That's the problem. The doctor says I'm almost three months pregnant." I let the fear I was feeling fill my voice. I could tell no one else but Angel how scared I was. I didn't want to be viewed as a freak or a liar.

"The best he could figure was that the child was conceived around thanksgiving," I continued, hanging my head. "I was hoping that maybe you know something."

"It never happened," he said, so softly that I barely heard him.

I nodded to myself and sighed. "Yeah, I know." I looked up then and now Angel was hanging his head, staring at his hands in his lap. He was trembling slightly. "I suddenly get the idea that we're not talking about the same thing," I said softly.

He looked up then. A solitary tear trailed down Angel's face. I didn't know why he cried, but I knew enough to be afraid of his explanation.

I will love you more than me
And more than yesterday
If you can but prove to me
You are the new day.

Part Two

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