You Are the New Day
by Cynamin
DISCLAIMER: Okay, obviously anything you recognize, I don't own. Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and all related characters, etc. doesn't belong to me. The song excerpts are from “You Are the New Day.” I sang it in chorus my sophomore year of high school. The program (which was quite a trick to find in my box of old letters) says it was arranged by Peter Knight. I had to listen to a recording to get the words, so they may not be exact. It’s a really pretty song, by the way.
CONTENT: B/A, some angst, some fluff, a lot of mush, and a happy ending.
SPOILERS: Here’s a shock, it’s another IWRY fic. I can’t think of anything else important.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This one’s weird, I admit it, but it got stuck in my head and wouldn’t go away until I wrote it. Sorry guys, this one is angsty. But it’s got a happy ending, I promise! Scenes alternate between Buffy and Angel’s POV.
Part Two
Her news was a shock of the most basic form, but her full explanation struck me hard. I'd barely managed to choke out my reply. She looked at me in shock all her own and I realized I was crying. Great way to make her less afraid.
I shook my head. "It never happened," I tried to explain, dropping my gaze again. No more tears escaped. I didn't want to talk about this, but I knew she wouldn't let me leave it there.
Buffy knelt in front of me, trying to catch my gaze again. "Angel," she entreated softly, "*what* never happened?" She placed her hand on my own and I shied away from her touch. I couldn't do this.
I had to do this. I took a deep breath, unneeded though it might be, and began. "When you came to see me that weekend, you were there for more than five minutes." I was surprised by how steady my voice was.
"Angel, umm." she tried to interrupt.
I shook my head. "Please. I let you speak. Let me do the same."
She said nothing at that.
"The first time the Mohra demon attacked, we didn't know what it was. We injured it and it escaped. We tracked it into the sewers, then split up, you into the sunlight and I continued in the tunnels. I found the demon, fought it, and when I stabbed it some of its blood mixed with my own." My gaze was fixed on my left hand where the cut had healed before my eyes. I could still remember the overwhelming sensations. "It made me human."
Buffy gasped, but to her credit said nothing. She took my hand in her own, and this time I let her. "I went to the Oracles, and they said I was no longer a Warrior. I found you, and we were together, but." My voice trailed off into silence.
This time Buffy spoke up. "But it couldn't be?" she asked. That's the way everything always seems to be with us.
I nodded. "The demon wasn't dead. I went to kill him. I wanted to prove that I could still fight; that I wouldn't be a liability. I was wrong. The demon almost killed me, but you saved me and killed it.
"I went back to the Oracles. They said you'd die.so I asked them to make me a vampire again. They turned back time. So, you see, it never happened. Only I remember."
Buffy looked at me seriously, willing me to meet her eyes. When I finally did she asked hesitantly, "Were we happy?"
"Yeah, we were happy," I said in a whisper. "We kissed in the sunlight and made love and ate ice cream in bed. For a moment we had nothing to worry about. Everything was right. You said you'd never felt that way, like a normal girl with a normal boyfriend. You said." The tears I'd swallowed came close to the surface again and choked off my words.
"What?" she asked, sitting beside me on the bed now and putting and arm around my shoulders. "What did I say?"
"You said you'd never forget," I forced past the lump in my throat. I hadn't meant to say that, but I guess that's what hurt the most. Even knowing she would not remember, even seeing her walk away, part of me had hoped until this moment.
"Oh," she whispered. Buffy pulled me to her shoulder then, and I
surrendered to her, letting the tears come.
When Angel finally calmed and pulled away, I smiled slightly and passed him a tissue. "Are you alright now?" I asked softly.
"Not really," he whispered.
"Yeah, I know."
We sat for a long while in silence, our night's confessions hanging in the air between us. It was going to take a while to process everything.
"I don't understand," I said finally. "If that day never happened, how am I pregnant?"
Angel shook his head. I think he was in denial of this whole evening. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "It's probably not mine. There has to be another explanation. I shouldn't have said anything."
"Angel," I scolded, "I think.I think you are the father. I can feel it, and I trust my feelings." He looked unconvinced. "Besides, the doctor says the baby's fine. Wouldn't he have noticed if it was demon spawn or something?" I flinched at that. It was the first time I'd given voice to that persistent fear.
Angel looked at me sharply. "Your baby is going to be fine." The softer, "Yes, the doctor would have noticed something."
I grinned. "See? So you being the father is the only thing that makes sense. Except, well, that it doesn't make sense."
He chuckled very slightly at my words, then went serious again. "So what do we do now?"
A small part of me rejoiced at his use of 'we.' The part of me that wasn't overcome with nervousness, that is. "Now," I said, taking his hand, "we go see Giles and find out what he knows about.well, anything that can explain why I'm pregnant from a day that never happened."
Angel nodded and let me lead him out the door. I sighed. At least I wouldn't be facing the new and improved firing squad alone.
Send the sun in time for dawn
Let the birds all hail the morning
Love of life will urge me say
You are the new day
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