Climbing up the Walls
by J_A_G

Part Two

It's cold and dark, the air is wet and helps to mold the material of my shirt to my skin. I don't mind, my shirt was already soaked with blood. The fight was hard, vicious and bloody, just like all the others. There's no pride to be felt when I win, just a reminder that I've cheated death, again.

A cop car pulls beside me and the officer asks me to get inside.

"Why?" My tone is cocky and he frowns.

"Because you're covered in blood, that's why." Oh, I think, well I can't tell him it's not my own. So I think quickly and try to concoct a good story in a matter of seconds.

"Stage blood," I laugh, looking down at my red, once white, shirt. "My drama teacher has a thing for authenticity and using my shirts to demonstrate." I try to act normal and a little nervous since he's a cop. His face reddens and he bids me good evening as he pulls away.

I reach my apartment, dumping my bag and stripping off my dirty clothes as I walk to my room. A figure comes out of the shadows, but I'm not surprised in the least.

"What do you want?" My tone is cruel, too bad for him.

"What happened? You ok?" He sounds concerned, but I don't care.

"Fight." There's nothing more to say. He backs off and puts his walls back up again, blocking me from him. We both love to wear masks, only lately they seem to be welded to our faces. His eyes linger over my nude body, I sort of feel like a piece of meat. I think I see some kind of emotion reflected in them, but it's gone when he finally looks me in the eyes.

"What are you trying to prove?" he whispered raggedly,his voice eerily loud in the in the silence of the room. "Every night you come home beaten and bloody, what are you trying to prove?"

"I'm just doing my duty,"I said quickly.

"Duty? Your duty? Two months ago you couldn't care less about your duty, you were trying to die. And you would have if I hadn't ..."

"Saved me," I finished. " I never asked you to save me, you took it upon yourself, so I don't owe you anything." I turned to walk away.

"It's not only yourself you're hurting."

"Well, then maybe the people I'm hurting should stop hurting me as well!" I knew that must have stung, he winced and took a few steps back. A flood of remorse enveloped me. "I just, I just wanted to show I could take care of myself."

"I know you can..."

"Stop! Just stop! I know you think I'm weak, that I can't live without you. You've proved you can live without me. You aren't the one who wasn't strong enough to stop from becoming a vampire buffet." I couldn't see, the tears were coming so fast. "I'm the slayer! I shouldn't be dependent on anyone, but I am. I need you, but you don't really need me. So forgive me if I'm not strong enough to admit it." He stood there, staring at me. I couldn't see his expression, but I could imagine what it looked like. He had worn it so often, it was becoming his usual look. I turned around, determined to actually get to my room, suddenly realizing I had just held the argument completely naked.

"Buffy ..." he started, but I didn't want him to finish.

"Look, I'm tired, dirty, and obviously naked so whatever you have to say can wait till tomorrow." I wasn't going to listen to him, I couldn't listen to him. Not unless I wanted to break down. I couldn't let myself be so weak in front of him, not after all that.

"I love you." Oh, wonderful. Of all the things he could possibly say, it had to be that. The same words that never fail to reduce me to my weakest, to strip me of my defenses. God I hate him, I thought.

I pretended I hadn't heard him."Goodnight, Angel and if you have anything else to lecture me on, just save it." He came up behind me stroking my arm, in a silent apology. I shook him off, determined not to be affected by him. He turned me around slowly, lifting my chin so he could look me in the eye. I fought back a sudden flood of tears. His entire face, reflected anguish and pain, that I knew was only a fraction of what he held inside. All because of me, I thought. His expression softened and he drew me into his strong embrace. "Hold me," I whispered, my voice sounding incredibly soft and somewhat childish. He complied, lifting me gently and carrying me to bed. His quiet words and tender strokes coaxing me into a peaceful slumber.

Next Part Soon

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