Climbing up the Walls
by J_A_G

Part Three

I woke up before she did, with the intention of making her breakfast. It had become a sort of tradition. Every morning after one of our fights, I would make her breakfast before I went to sleep, as a way to ask for forgiveness.

I was in the middle of turning an omelet, when I felt her slender arms wrap around my waist. She pushed her face against my back and inhaled deeply. "Smells good," she said into my shirt. I wasn't sure if she meant the food or me so I just said "thanks".

She started kissing the back of my neck, feathery light kisses, driving me wild. I didn't touch her, I didn't want to break the mood she was in. She started to get more aggressive, running her hands up the front of my shirt and all but mauling my neck with her lips and tongue. I turned around, picking her up and sitting her down on the counter. I parted her legs and moved to stand between them. I reached down to kiss her, but I stopped, wanting her to set the pace. For a few moments we froze, catching our breaths and staring at each other in the eye.

She began to get impatient, moving a little closer and squeezing my legs between hers. Finally she just reached up and kissed me. Her hands stripped me of my shirt and she ran her hands up my back, pulling me closer. Our tongues dueled and our hands groped every inch of our bodies. She broke the kiss, hopping off the counter and dragging me towards my room, since it was closer. We undressed each other quickly, more out of need than lust. There was no time to worship each others bodies, we had no patience for it. The sex was fast and hard, nearly violent. A blend of pain and pleasure that our souls demanded as much as our bodies. It wasn't love, no matter how much I wished it was. You couldn't call what we had love, it was more like desperation. She came so hard, I was sure I had hurt her, as I watched her tremble beneath me.

She turned her back to me afterwards and was lying sideways on the edge of the bed. I had given up trying to elicit some response from her, with my feather light caresses on her arm and I was content to simply look at her back. She stood up quickly, rocking the bed when she did so.

"Ass hole," she mumbled leaving the room.

I jumped up, furious "No! Don't shut down on me. Not now, not after all that."

"All that." she repeated "What? The sex? Well, sorry if I don't feel like sticking around."

"Excuse me, why wouldn't you stick around, what's so hard about that? Why are you acting like such a cheap whore?" Oh crap, if I hadn't ruined it before I certainly have now.

"Cheap whore?" she repeated in a small voice, her eyes filling with tears that I couldn't stand to see. "Is that how you see me?"

"Oh Buffy, I'm so sorry I didn't mean ..."

"Shut up, Angel. It's the truth, isn't it? I'm nothing, but a cheap whore to you. A little thrill. You probably had better fuck in hell." Hell, we had never talked about my trip to hell. We had never talked about the beatings, the torture, the rape. Anger welled up in me.

"You want to know what hell was like, Buffy?!" I yelled, losing control over my emotions "Do you really want to knowabout the beatings and the torture? Do you know what it's like to watch everyone I had hurt come up to me? To hear you tell me how much I hurt you?" my voice cracked with emotion "they would show me you, beaten and bloody in a vampire's clutches. I would run to save you, but I was always too late." I stopped to take a breath. "Hell is something I would never wish on you, never, and I would do anything to stop you from seeing it. I love you so much that I would gladly take your place and endure that for eternity."

She looked at me, big tears dripping down her face. Their trail ending at her chin and falling in big drops on her breast and continuing the trail from there.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. I knew it was pointless to interrupt her, even though I didn't need to hear it. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, you can't even imagine, but you're wrong." I wasn't expecting that. "You're so wrong if you think that I don't love you as much as you love me."

"I never said ..."

"Yes, you did," she interrupted. "I wanted to be in hell instead of you. I would have done anything to take your place. But I couldn't." She was making a small puddle on the floor with her tears. "But being here was just as hard. I ran away, lived on my own. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't miss you. I wanted to go home so much, but I couldn't. It was so hard and when he ..." She stopped talking and just stared at a point in the wall.

"He what, Buffy?" I prodded, fear rising in my throat, cracking my voice.

"Oh, he was so heavy, Angel. I couldn't move, I just froze. It hurt so much. And afterwards he said I was really good and I just lost it." She wasn't talking to me any more. "I hit him so hard, I thought I broke my hand. I just kept hitting him, I couldn't stop." I drew her sobbing form into my arms and just rocked her. Images of her rape flashing through my mind.I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block the pictures rolling through my head like a horror film I couldn't shut off. I swallowed my emotions. She needed my compassion more than my anger.

Eventually she stopped crying and raised her head for a kiss. I kissed her gently,wanting to erase every memory of her attacker with my lips. She relaxed under me, all her painful thoughts banished temporarily from her mind. I carried her to her own room, laying her on the bed and kissing her one more time, before imploring her to get some sleep.

"Angel," she whispered, reaching out and lightly gripping my arm "I don't regret what we just did."

"What, the sex?" I teased, she giggled and slapped me on the shoulder. "Get some sleep," I said sternly, starting to leave the room, "or else I might have to spank you." I gave her a lopsided grin, that I knew she loved.

"Or maybe I'll do the spanking," she said pulling down the blanket to expose a creamy white breast and offering me a sexy grin.

"Or maybe I'll do the spanking," she said, pulling...

"Tease," I said, trying to muster all my willpower not to jump in bed with her.

"You like it, though, don't you?" she laughed.

"Just go to sleep." I turned to walk out as her blanket hit the back of my head.

"Tuck me in again?" she asked in a husky voice that went straight to my groin. I threw it back at her, closing the door as I left. She giggled loudly and I felt the familiar ache growing.

"Tuck me in again?" she asked...

"It's going to be a long night" I said, loud enough for her to hear, as I went into my room. Her giggles coming from the wall between us was the last thing I heard before I finally fell asleep.

The End

Angel did not lose his soul because they weren't making love it was just sex, no feelings involved.

Praise me, flame me, just tell me what you thought.

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