This Isn't The End
by Kookie

I stood and watched as Angelus fell to his knees. A wave of relief washed over my body. It’s over, the pain, the anguish, it’ll all be gone. But deep down inside I knew I’d rather have the pain instead of the loneliness.

I raised my sword for the final blow, but an orange warmth flashed in Angelus’ eyes. I stopped dead.

‘ No, no, no!’ My mind screamed. I had finally worked up the audacity to kill him. To stop the suffering Angelus was causing, but in doing so I would reopen a raw wound in my heart. I had ultimately locked all my love for Angel away, I built up a wall so that the love could never escape. He had managed to find his way back and was easily knocking down my wall. Now my worst fear, my greatest fantasy is coming true.

I was dumbfounded. My sword clattered to the floor and I melted into his arms. How extraordinary it felt to be with him! I now felt whole. Complete. There was no way I was leaving him.

I opened my eyes and saw as Alactha opened its mouth. My body went numb. My soul pleaded with destiny, I couldn’t do this. And yet, something inside me realized I had turned him into what he was, now I had to finish.

I painstakingly told him that I loved him. With one last desperate kiss, he then told me he loved me too. I asked him to close his eyes and with a bewildered look he did. I stood and braced myself for a flood of agony as I thrust my sword into his stomach. With his outreached hand I felt him yank out my heart and soul into Hell along with him. He choked out my name and then he was gone. I felt my chest suffocate with misery.

I made my way sluggishly through the sleeping town. I reached my house, hurriedly threw things in a bag. I scribbled a note to my mother and left.

The look of hurt, betrayal and love Angel had on his face was now branded into my mind. I would have sacrificed the world for him, but instead I sacrificed him for the world. There was something I didn’t get to tell him.. I’m sorry. There isn’t enough words to express how deeply I must have hurt him and how profoundly I will suffer.

Oh, but this isn’t the end.

Our love could never end.

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